Chapter 12

Normal font like this the 'reality' in the story.

Musicookie's lines of the story are in italics.

Sesshomaru's lines of the story are in bold italics.

Score thus far: Musicookie 55, Sesshomaru 53

----------------------

Musicookie opened the document to find all the Inuyasha cast members huddled in a corner, crowding to look at something. Musicookie made her way closer, curious to see what she'd find today.

Inuyasha was looking at a pop-up ad with wide eyes. "Free smileys!" He raised a clawed hand to the "Free Smileys Now!" button.

Musicookie ran in slow motion. "Inuyasha, no!!!"

The dreaded 'click' reached her ears. Muicookie tripped over Sesshomaru's well-placed foot in slo-mo.

Inuyasha waited, ears flickering. Nothing was happening. He expected smileys, what the heck. He opened his mouth to voice his unhappiness, but what came out was most peculiar.

"= ("

Musicookie looked up from her vantage point on the ground. "O.o", she said.

Kagome seemed to be laughing, though no one heard her. "XD," she chuckled.

"(8-O" gasped Musicookie, picking herself up off the ground. They were talking in smileys!

"-_-;" sweated Miroku.

Inuyasha looked imploringly to Musicookie, trying to express his apology.

"0 : -)" he said, angelically.

Musicookie massaged her temples, not buying it. "_" she stated. ": - / " she thought, wondering how they could get this back to normal.

Musicookie decided to scream at him. "D: " she yelled.

"):-P" said Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru couldn't help himself. He punched Inuyasha with a single, brutal fist. (9'-')--o Oh yeah, baby! BAM!

"X_X"

"U_U" said Musicookie, shaking her head in pity for the unconscious Inuyasha.

She went to the computer, squinting at the screen. "~_~"

Sesshomaru followed. He also seemed determined to end this nonsense. ":-s" he said.

Musicookie's fingers were a whir as she tried to type things normal again. But nothing seemed to work. "TT_TT" weeped Musicookie.

"(o_o#)" said Sesshomaru, a vein throbbing angrily in his temple. He shoved Musicookie's hands away from the keyboard and began to type. "(-_-;)" he sweated, actually nervous that things would be stuck this way.

But he paused, giving a quizzical look at Musicookie once seeing her desktop background. "?_?"

"=^_^=" blushed Musicookie, a little embarrassed.

"(v.v)" sighed Sesshomaru, deciding to ask her about it later. He went into her hardrive, typing in codes Musicookie couldn't comprehend.

";u" yawned Musicookie. Sesshomaru was totally geeking out. She never would have imagined it. She pictured him in plaid slacks, a shirt with a pocket protector, freckles, and buckteeth.

":-3" she giggled internally.

After nearly 5 minutes of furious typing, Sesshomaru suddenly stood. He drew his sword and crawled into the hardrive of Musicookie's computer.

"O.O" went Musicookie. She was a little concerned for her computer, as she heard the sounds of sword slashing and little screams. She grimaced as she realized she was listening to things being killed. "( '_' ;) " she sweated.

Sesshomaru returned. Musicookie sighed, and then gasped at the sound of her voice. She hummed and felt the vibrations in her throat, smiling.

"Whoa, how did you fix that?"

"This Sesshomaru had to manually destroy the virus. Smileys infested the hardrive, and this Sesshomaru took pleasure in seeing their innards splattered on the walls, and hearing their screams for mercy."

Musicookie smiled with teary and sparkling anime eyes, which is an expression that has no equivalent emoticon. "Thank you."

She typed him up a chocolate milkshake, which he held in an uncomfortable clawed hand.

Musicookie typed Inuyasha awake. "You idiot! Never, NEVER, click on pop-ups! They may look shiny and enticing, but they are bad, bad news! Touch one again, and I'll bop you one. HARD! I'll even go to the grocery stores and set fire to all the ramen!"

"Jeez, sorry..."

Kagome patted Musicookie's shoulder. Musicookie shook her head. "Man, I was scared there. I thought I would never be able to talk again."

Kagome snatched the untouched milkshake from Sesshomaru's grip. "Here, hun. Drink this, it'll make you feel better."

Musicookie took the milkshake, sipping at it forlornly. "I don't even feel like writing anything today."

Myoga nearly flipped out. "You can't do that! Think about the readers! People have this story on alert! Some even favorited it!"

Musicookie sighed.

"They look forward to this story! You can't just toss it aside, what's wrong with you!"

Sesshomaru scoffed. "Typical human behavior, wavering at the slightest feeling of weakness."

Musicookie narrowed her eyes. "Kagome, take my milkshake." Kagome did, blinking. Musicookie rolled up her sleeves, a determined glint in her eyes.

"Thanks, Fluffball. You just reminded me why I'd doing this. I want to beat your fluffy butt! You can't win at everything!"

Musicookie suddenly turned to the readers. "But don't get me wrong, I'm not doing this just for him, I love you guys too. Each of you deserve your very own country. One day when I rule the world, you'll each get a country. Make dibs now, but I get the entire continent of South America, so hands off."

"Hey!" cried Jaken. "That's Lord Sesshomaru's plan!"

"He wants South America?"

"No! World domination and supreme conquest are Sesshomaru's plans! And he was gonna give me South America!"

"You fool! What would you ever want with South America!"

"The rainforest is my natural habitat!"

Musicookie stopped, holding back a retort that had been ready to leap from her lips. "You know, you are a toad thing. It makes sense that a wet place like the rainforest would be good home for you."

"Japan is so dry in comparison, it does nothing for my complexion. These wrinkles seem to stand out more..."

"Yeah, you do look like a raisin..."

Myoga cleared his throat.

"A very old..."

Myoga coughed.

"...Withered raisin...OW!"

Musicookie slapped her own cheek, and no one was surprised. Myoga floated, flying and flipping through the air a few times, falling flattened to the floor and landing with a flop. It was a sad fate for a flea, worse than flogging, or eating flaming flan with fellow fleas. Alliteration is fun. Fabulously so.

Musicookie peeled him off the ground, grabbing a air pump and sticking the nozzle in Myoga's mouth. Myoga grew, inflated by the stale air of the contraption.

"Blech," he spat. "At any rate, we need to get this show on the road. Break a leg, take a bow, never say never, exit, stage left."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't even know anymore. This round is Romance/Horror. Get jiggy wid it! And begin!"

Kagome clutched her cat to her chest, looking accusingly at the strange two-tailed cat that Buyo had been engaging in a purr session with. Buyo had actually run away from home to apparently attend this midnight tryst.

"Kirara!" a voice called. Kagome looked around, realizing that she was in a dark city alleyway -- alone -- with her cat. She would have ran, or hid in the dumpster, but there was no time. A man ran around the corner at inhuman speeds.

He was dressed in a slick black suit, and blended in with the night. His long hair was midnight black and his eyes like shards of obsidian that pierced through the distance between them, stabbing the air like daggers wielded by an illogically angry monkey.

And Kagome was the banana the monkey was after.

The man approached at normal speed, taking the strange cat into his arms. Kagome found that he couldn't take her eyes from the man.

"Kirara, you moron!" yelled the man, holding the cat at arms length.

Kagome snapped out of trance and wiped the drool from her chin, hoping this hottie didn't notice. "Hey! Don't insult your own cat! Meanie!"

His eyes once again met Kagome's, and Kagome felt like the floor was falling apart beneath her feet. His eyes were like black holes that sucked her into their dark depths, only without becoming trapped in gravitational space time dilation and disappearing into oblivion. But Albert Einstein and his Theory of Relativity couldn't explain what attracted her so to this man.

After that long tirade of fawning over the man's featureless and average appearance, the man spoke.

"Who the heck are you to tell me what I do with my ...cat."

Kagome closed her eyes, determined to avoid falling into the trap of the man's eyes.

"Yelling at animals is cruel."

"What!? She's my cat, I can do whatever I want!"

"So you just let her run around in dark alleys, a victim to the dangers of the night?"

"Well, ain't that what you and your cat are doing?"

"This isn't about me!"

The man was closer than ever. They were screaming into each other's faces, their voices a cacophony of echos floating into the midnight air.

He appeared to be breathing deeply, and looking confused.

"What? You pervert! Why are you smelling me?!"

The man caught her eyes for the perhaps fourth time in so many minutes. "You...you smell."

"Jerk!"

"No, you smell like..."

Kagome waited.

"Loneliness," the man whispered, huskily. "An aching loneliness, tinged with holy powers..."

Kagome gasped as he actually put his nose in her hair, sniffing lazily. But the sharp sound of her gasp cut his ears, and the man recoiled. Fear and surprise flashed through his expressions.

Cat clutched in his arms, he spun on his heel and strode away.

Kagome was dumbfounded, but she was still in this alley and needed to find her way home. She ran, her steps loud in the still of the night.

Kagome tried to return to her normal life, but it was impossible. On the edges of her vision danced the image of the mysterious man she'd met that night. She swore she saw his face everywhere. His glance has struck her senseless and imprinted into her mind like she was the duckling who had imprinted on the nearest living thing, even if it was a flamingo or a platypus.

Every day was fleeting, like a dream that dissolved, half-remembered. Until the 11 of March, when she saw the man again.

He was staring at her intently from across the grocery store parking lot. How they could see each other and actually meet eyes at such a distance was stretching it a bit, but somehow they did so.

Suddenly, a fat woman's screams broke the silence of the parking lot. She was struggling to push a shopping cart filled to the brim with packages of bottled water. The woman lost her grip and broke a nail. The cart rolled away from her reach.

"Ahh! Runaway cart!" To label the cart as "runaway" was also a stretch, seeing as it moved at an impressive 0.2 miles per hour. Rather, mile per hour. Well, less than that, even.

The cart hurtled -- reaching speeds rivaling a snail's -- straight towards Kagome. In a lapse of good judgement, she stood there, watching it advance towards her. She was helpless, escape was futile.

The fat woman hobbled after the cart, but it was rolling along much too fast and she was already completely winded. "Runaway cart!" she again yodeled.

The man had leapt into action, grabbing the cart and shoving it so its path missed Kagome. It inched past Kagome, missing her by over a foot. It dented her car very badly, but Kagome only had eyes for her hero.

"You..." Kagome breathed.

"...Me..." the man replied.

"Thanks, I could have been killed."

"I couldn't just stand by, not when you're so..."

Kagome waited on baited breath.

"Yummy."

Kagome heard a song randomly begin, BoA's "Eat You Up."

"I'll eat you up.... so yum, yum..." It was coming from the grocery store's intercom system. The bass blared in the speakers. Random things exploded, including windows of cars, Kagome's eardrums, and the bottled water that was in the cart that had made itself at home, lodged in Kagome's car door.

Water from the water bottles rained through the air, streaming down their faces. Droplets of it sparkled in the air, cheerfully catching the light.

"Yummy?"

The man nodded. "You have a scent like no one else's... It haunts me, but I cannot pull away. But we shouldn't be friends. I need to stay away from you."

Kagome was already forming the question "why" on her lips, but he raced away, moving at indescribable speeds. The shopping cart and all snails were left in the dust.

Kagome went to work, an unspectacular job as a librarian. She was struck with a sudden urge to connect with nature as she flipped through The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling. As soon as her shift ended, she boarded the bus to the nearest forest.

She stepped off the bus; it left her there, completely abandoned. Kagome mused that being alone like this was a bad habit she needed to break. She sighed and trekked through the forest with no destination in mind.

A pair of keen black eyes followed her movements and she was none the wiser...

After getting herself completely lost, she sat on a log in a clearing. It was late afternoon, and the sun was making its descent. She estimated she had a few hours to find the bus stop. She pawed morosely at the dirt with her foot.

But she wouldn't find the bus stop that afternoon. Kagome looked up to see the man again.

"You...."

"...Me...."

"I thought you said you needed to stay away from me."

"I can't help it, you smell so...delicious."

The man's aura pules visibly. Kagome fell from her log as the man transformed. His hair lightened to become silver. Claws extended from his fingers, and jagged stripes journeyed across his cheeks. Fangs poked from his lips, and two dog ears sprouted from his scalp like the grass on a Chia pet.

Most terrifying were his eyes. They changed from black to a blood-stained red. The irises were teal, like slivers of turquoise floating in pools of ketchup. No, scratch that -- blood.

"You're a demon?"

"My name is Inuyasha, and I am going to eat you now."

"Why introduce yourself to me, then?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "I've never wanted to eat someone as bady as I've wanted to eat you. Ummm, to tear the flesh off your femur! I can't wait!"

Inuyasha felt in his pockets for something. He pulled out a fork, a spoon, and a wad of napkins, but he seemed distressed.

"Aw, great. Just great! I forgot the barbecue sauce! Looks like I can't eat you after all."

"Ok, then."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" questioned Inuyasha, pocketing the utensils.

Kagome shook her head eagerly. "No. No, never. I love you."

"I love you too. Let's go and see my kitchen. I just got this giant pot, you could fit an entire person inside it!"

"Inuyasha, kiss me!"

"No, I wanna save my appetite."

Kagome allowed herself to be hoisted on his back, and they ran to Inuyasha's house to see his kitchen.

"Well, here we are." Inuyasha licked his lips and eyed Kagome. "Kitchen's this way, let's go."

Kagome floated behind him, eyes replaced with hearts. Inuyasha rummaged through his refrigerator, reaching behind a tupperware labeled with the date and containing unknown leftovers.

"Here it is! Barbecue sauce! Now we're all set!"

"For what?"

Inuyasha set a giant stew pot on the stove. "Romantic dinner, what else?"

"Oh, Yashie!"

"...Don't call me that. Hey, do you know how to make gravy?"

Before Kagome knew it, the evening flew by as they prepared dinner. Kagome even put a single rose in a vase, setting it proudly on the table.

Inuyasha opened the giant pot, sniffing the broth that simmered inside.

"Eh, Megan, come here!"

"Kagome."

"Irene, Brittany, Kagome -- they're all the same. Get in this pot."

Kagome eyed the pot. Steam wafted out of it, the warm smell of vegetable soup wafting to meet her nose.

"It's soup."

"No, it's not. It's a groundbreaking formula discovered by a hidden tribe in Africa. It's a beauty spa treatment that will make your skin glow. The celery absorbs toxins, while the potatoes moisturize the skin."

"And the carrots?"

"I'll be completely honest with you, Madeline -- they're just for show. To add color, you know?"

"That makes so much sense!"

"Clearly." Inuyasha wore a fanged smile as he aided Kagome into the pot.

Kagome hissed at the heat, but Inuyasha's assurances told her everything would be fine. And when he closed the lid on her, shrouding her in darkness, his smooth voice soothed her, telling her it was all part of the beauty procedure. And when Kagome felt herself losing consciousness in the hot liquid, she heard her lover's voice and imagined the heat around her was from the warmth of being in his arms.

Inuyasha ate good that night. He rubbed his giant belly and picked at his teeth with a toothpick.

Kirara entered the room from the cat door. She meowed, "Hey, why didn't you save any for me?"

"Don't joke, you've had your fill."

Kirara nodded, hacking up a hairball of white, black, and orange cat fur.

Musicookie was clutching her stomach, doubled over in laughter. She wiped tears from her eyes. "Oh...Oh, I can't breathe... Oh, that was so..." she broke into laughter.

Inuyasha poked his stomach. "Kagome, you ok?"

A muffled voice came from inside him. Musicookie stopped laughing long enough to concentrate and type Kagome as back to normal and not being digested.

"That was disgusting!" she exclaimed.

"Oh! That was so funny! That was so disturbing, but I loved it!"

Sesshomaru looked pleased with himself as Jaken sang the usual praises, extolling his master for his superb skills of writing about death.

Myoga called Inuyasha and Kagome forward. "Kagome, your points?"

"That was disgusting. I was such an airhead, too."

"Please," soothed Myoga. "Judge the story."

Kagome sighed. "Musicookie, the beginning was really good. You made it really funny and you set the tone of the encounter. Even though you made me really stupid with the shopping cart, you did let me live in the forest. I think it's really funny when you write."

"Sesshomaru, you've gone and killed me off again. You tried to spark romance between Inuyasha and I. You also made the story very scary. If my role hadn't have been such an airhead, I would have been creeped out. You made me so stupid, but love is blind, I suppose. My death was kind of poetic."

"I really don't know with this one," continued Kagome. "I know I have to divide 4 points equally between you two, though. What the heck! I give 3 points to Musicookie and 1 to Sesshomaru. I hate being killed off."

Kagome stepped back and ushered Inuyasha forward. He held his stomach. "Ohh, I think I'm gonna be sick..."

"Suck it up and be a man."

"Fine...cranky... Ok then, Musicookie made me sound all cool at the beginning. She gave me a little action scene with the cart, but it wasn't much. I was hoping for some demons to slice, but whatever. Musicookie made my transformation cool. I like how she described me with all those details. You gave me the idea of eating Kagome, though, and--" Inuyasha groaned. "I need an antiacid."

"Well, you made me...this is weird to say to you of all people. You made me romantic. Blech." Inuyasha shuddered, and the action looked like when a dog shakes the water from its fur after a bath.

"You paid attention to the things a demon would notice, like smells. You made me eat...you made me cook...ohhhh" Inuyasha winced. "Oh, my stomach. Man, why'd you have to make me eat my girlfriend?"

Kikyo raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"Girlfriend?" blushed Kagome.

"Whatever, you made me eat someone I really care about! you made me trick her into being cooked for dinner! You didn't even let me get her name right. Madeline? That sounds nothing like Kagome! I give 3 points to Musicookie, and 1 point to you, you bass turd."

Musicookie sighed dramatically. "I'm already in such a lead. I thought this round would be different, Sessy was in top form today."

Myoga selected a judge. He chose Miroku.

"As an expert in romance, I must say... Musicookie, you didn't depict love very well. You showed Kagome have an obsession, an infatuation. But your writing was very humorous, and you did a wonderful job with the heavy tone and environments. Environments are often overlooked by authors, but they can add so much to a work. And though the tone was heavy, you balanced it with funny comments and similes. Usually it's Sesshomaru who's very detailed and descriptive, but today, it was you. Although the story was a bit dependent on dialogue, you did well. you could have done a bit more to reach the romance/horror quota, but all in all you tried your best and your writing was greatly entertaining."

"Sesshomaru, where to begin? Your vocabulary was great as usual, and you had a recognizable style to your writing; something only refined authors have. Even though it was more literal hunger than romance, you wrote love a little more believable than Musicookie did. The chemistry you developed between the characters was priceless. The end scene was hilarious in a gory way. You did well in fulfilling both the romance and the horror categories. It would have been perfect if you didn't insult Inuyasha the first chance you got."

"I decide to award Musicookie with 3 points, and 4 points for Sesshomaru."

Musicookie smiled at Sesshomaru. "The gap is widening. I have 64 points now, and you have 59. You know, maybe you'd catch up if you treated your characters a little better. Respect them, you know?"

She punched his shoulder. He responded with a sullen glare.

Musicookie sighed and turned to leave. "Well, then. I guess I'll see you--"

"Wait."

Musicookie looked at Sesshomaru. "What?"

"You need to explain something to This Sesshomaru. Your desktop background?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, I like the guy! He's a good singer!"

"So you plaster his face on your computer? He wears makeup."

"Eyeshadow and eyeliner look good on him! He's hot! All the rock stars accentuate their looks with makeup, anyway. Actors do too. Hey, so do you! What's your excuse, huh?"

"Do not turn this around on me. What is his name?"

"Until you tell me why you wear makeup, I will not disclose his name. I don't want to hear you abuse him, and tease me about it."

"..."

"That's what I thought. And by the way, pink really is your shade, Sesshomaru." She chuckled and left, saving and closing the document.

"It's magenta," Sesshomaru stated.

---------------------

A/N: AH! Done, and it only took one evening. The emoticon part at the beginning was hard to write, but once I got past that, this chapter flowed from my fingertips with great ease. Romance/horror just might be my favorite category! Love it! And if anyone guesses who I have as my background, I'll give you a cupcake. Imaginary, of course, but it's the thought that counts. While I wrote this, I listened to "Eat you up" by BoA. Great song, as weird as the lyrics are. "So yum yum." Whoo-hoo. Oh, and I parodied a famous book/movie in this chapter. Is it obvious? Don't hate me if you're a fan...

Randomness warning! I am so sick of seeing ads on the internet that say I need to beat a celebrity at an IQ test. Apparently, (get ready) Dylan and Cole Sprouse, Rihanna, Vannessa Anne Hudgens, Paris Hilton, Brenda Song, Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, John Mayer, Lindsey Lohan, Lil Wayne, Beyonce, Barack Obama, and George W. Bush all have IQs of 125. And to be "smart" I have to beat them by clicking on the ad. I don't believe all these people have IQs of 125. Also, IQ is not the same as being smart or intelligent. There are many parts of intelligence that can't be measured with a paper and pencil test, like common sense, for one. You can have an average IQ and be really smart, or have a high IQ and be really dumb. Or what if you're really smart, but have test-taking anxiety and fail the IQ test? Grr. Stupid ads.

------------------------

Review responses! Love you guys!

hitntr - Your snake is big enough to wrap itself around the screen? o.O I remember the ball pythons that were at the pet store I used to work at were all small, maybe 6 inches long. One day, we got a 3 or 4 foot python in. It was an angry snake. I've never been hissed at before. This sounds gory, but I was fascinated watching them catch and eat mice. The strength and speed make for a deadly combination. Oh, and you were right about my appearance.

Flames Chaos and Wolf - So are you two or three people? Split personality disorder? I have that too, in a sense. The Musicookie in the story is part of me, the real Musicookie. Yet part of her is not me. She's a little more witty and outspoken than the real me.

Sassybratt - Thanks, I should have put something like that in. Sesshomaru usually ends things with death. I didn't know I rhymed. It was completely unintentional. Maybe there's a rapper Musicookie floating around in my subconscious. What would be funny is if a rapping Musicookie made an appearance in the story. lol

Drama Kagome - Short, sweet, and to the point. Thanks, and I update weekly so you don't have to worry.

Liesie - I admit I picture characters in costumes much different than the ones we're used to seeing them in. Sesshomaru and Sephiroth from FF7 are my usual victims. They both have such recognizable, legendary images that messing with them mentally is amusing, like when I imagined Sessy as a geek in this chapter. And your idea was brilliant! I didn't even think of having wolf burgers at McMeaty's! lol lol lol lol I feel like going back and just adding that in. Can I use that? I will seriously go and edit that chapter if you say yes.