Disclaimer: Know it? I don't own it.

Warning: Allusions to rape. Nothing graphic.

Author's Note: Jazz's angst. Let me show you it.

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Jazz was watching Blurr. It was something he did sometimes when he thought the blue bot wouldn't notice. Blurr was always babbling on too fast too understand and he never stood still for long. So Jazz had to wonder. Were the twitchiness and the babbling part of Blurr's original programming or something else.

It was something Jazz thought about often when he was in a melancholy mood. Was Red Alert always so paranoid? Did Ratchet always threaten his patients with terrible deaths? He wondered about them too. Others.

Because you see, Jazz could see no change in himself. He'd been fighting this war Primus knew how long and still he was the same old Jazz. But he wondered. Had he changed and just not noticed? If he was to go back home, walk long forgotten streets, meet long forgotten friends. Would they recognise him? Would they pass him by? Some monster they knew not.

The war had come and it had destroyed everything and Jazz couldn't believe that he had escaped unscathed. He simply couldn't fathom that he had seen and done so much and still was Jazz. So he watched the others. He saw their flaws and wondered if they were always there.

Blurr was his favourite subject. Because he had been there when the war got Blurr in its clutches and he had seen the damage done. 

They'd found him in a city the decepticons had destroyed. They were looking for salvage, not survivors. Any living had run while they could. But they'd found Blurr. In a warehouse the con's had used as a base. He was locked in a room. They'd had to sedate him to get him out. He hadn't been happy to see them and from the energon dried on his thighs, they knew why. He'd been calmer once he woke up. Provided you didn't try to touch him or get too close. It had been months before he'd even told them his name and now he wouldn't shut up. Ever.

So, Jazz wondered about Blurr. The non-stop talking and the constant fidgeting, a personality quirk or a sign of something more serious? Something that touched them all. Some lightly, some deeply. Jazz knew somewhere deep inside him, war had left a mark on him too. It just worried him. Why couldn't he see it?