Notes:

O-money is Monty Oum. (Peace be with my boi T_T)

Gaben is obvious.

The songs Soldier is singing are the "Hymn of the Marines" and "Blood on the Risers". Both are military songs about the U.S. Marines and the U.S. Airborne, respectively.

Oum means 'uncle' in my language. This has nothing to do with the chapter, but let me tell you how awkward it was when I found out his full name.


Mercs' House

"John…" A French voice began. "This is one of the most idiotic things you have ever done since I've first met you."

"Idiotic!? Humph! Typical Frenchie! You people think your better than everyone else, but at the first sign of getting your toes stubbed you run away like a bunch of little girls! Oh, wait! You really do!" Soldier laughed while Spy sighed.

"That is because I specialize in stealth and sabotage. I run away only to come back and finish the job at a more opportune time."

"Ah! You admit to running away from fights! No wonder why France got its ass squashed by the krauts during the war!"

"That was because the people managing our military were a bunch of idiots. And, for your information, Général Charles De Gaulle did come back to fight the Germans with the remains of the French army."

"Pffft! Doesn't change the fact he ran away to England!"

"Yes… he fled to England." Spy sighed in defeat.

"Well, it looks like you're not so different from the rest of the croutons, Jacques! You and your country have a tradition of running away! At least the queen worshipping, tea drinkers kept fighting!"

"Oh… can we get back to why you're crafting an American flag out of cloth and blankets now?"

"I already told you Jacques, we are in serious need of an American flag! And I couldn't find any so I'm making one!"

"Not too surprising, but why is it so big?"

The makeshift flag Soldier was making could cover the whole of the mercs' front yard and half of the house if fully spread out. It was a patchwork of various cloth, rags, clothes, blankets, and whatever other fabric Soldier could find. All the mentioned materials were in various shades of the colors red, white, and blue.

"Because! I have come to the realization that upon entering this world, we have been declared war on by these 'Grimm'. And more importantly, they declared war on ME! A loyal G.I. of the American military, and by extension, the entire U, S, of A! I won't stand for it!"

"Okay, but what does that have to do with making the flag so big?" Spy said.

"Oh, it's because my extensive knowledge of American military history reminded me that the army with the biggest flag always wins! Not like an American army ever loses anyway, but look at the bombardment of Fort McHenry during the Battle of Baltimore! The biggest American flag ever was flown there and the Americans won the battle with the British running away from the sheer size of it! Also, it is to my understanding that this enemy is literally everywhere, so I want those bastards to get a really good look at the ultimate symbol of democracy!"

"I'm fairly certain that's not why the British retreated, John…" Spy said.

"And if I were to take an educated guess based on your explanation, you intend to fly this… 'flag' high above our house in an effort to scare off the Grimm?"

"Precisely!" Soldier said. "It's full-proof if you ask me." He said proudly while Spy face palmed.

"Ugh… Well at least it means you're taking your damn underwear off the flagpole." Spy looked over at the hastily made flagpole Soldier made.

In the absence of a proper flag, Soldier painted a pair of his underwear in the colors of the American flag and flew it on a flagpole made out of long wooden sticks glued or tied to each other in a crude fashion.

In the distance, a very large explosion could be seen from somewhere in the campus, and something with flame trailing behind it was flying towards the merc's house…

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" A familiar Scottish voiced screamed in joy as he shot across the campus and right into the mercs' front yard. He landed right on top of Soldier's huge flag with a crunching noise, and was killed instantly.

"RAAAAAAGHH!" Soldier raged. "YOU DAMN CYCLOPS! YOU RUINED MY FLAG!" He jumped on Demo's corpse and preceded to beat the shit out of it. Either so angry as to where he would beat a corpse, or too stupid to realize he's dead. Maybe a little of both…

"TIME TO FACE THE WRATH OF AN ANGRY AMERICAN!" Soldier was now slamming Demo's face into the ground. He was doing that thing that mothers do sometimes when they're hitting you and they hit you with every word they say.

"DO" (FACE SLAM)

"NOT" (FACE SLAM

"MESS" (FACE SLAM)

"WITH" (FACE SLAM)

"THE" (FACE SLAM)

"FLAAAAAAAAG!" (FACE CRUSH!)

Yeah… Demo's brains were now all over the flag while Spy just sighed.

"Ugh… you better hope Friedrich has an auto reanimator ready, John, you simpleton."

"Dell!" Spy called into the house. A hardhat wearin' head popped out of the second floor room windows.

"Yeah!?" A smooth Texan voice yelled.

"Did you and Friedrich bother to make any more of those auto reanimators since our initiation?"

"Yeah… we made one. Why do you ask?" Engineer asked. Spy pointed over to Demo's corpse which Soldier was dragging off of the flag. Engineer had to lean out of the window to get a good look at the scene.

"Ah, I see! I'll be down right quick!" He yelled as he went back in the window. At this point Scout came vaulting over the wall.

"Hey fellas. You- woah! What happened to Demo?" Scout said upon seeing Soldier drag Demo's body over by the bushes by the front door.

"The idiot sticky jumped from somewhere and forgot he can die from the fall." Spy replied simply.

"And he landed on the flag!" Soldier added as he was digging a shallow grave for Demoman's body.

"John, stop digging! Demo will be alive and well soon." Spy said. Soldier groaned and threw his shovel on top of Demo's corpse, and then walked back over to his giant flag to fix whatever damages Demo did do it. Spy and Scout watched him walk back to the flag before continuing their conversation.

"Okay… so anyways, you'd never woulda guess where I just came back from!" Scout said excitedly.

"I was wondering where you went." Spy said. "Judging by your excitement, you probably went and flirted with some girls."

"Uh, that too… but It was somethin' even better! I was out in the city, right? Lookin' for some of the finer things this world got, when I found this wicked nightclub!" Spy raised a brow.

"A nightclub?"

"Yeah! Owned by this swell guy named Junior, reminds me of this punk who owned a bar back in Boston I used to tussle with. They havin' a party this Friday, and I'm invited!"

"Why do you want to go to a filthy nightclub for, William?"

"For your information, it ain't filthy. It's as clean as the floor after mom mops it up. Also, I would love to spend some time away from you guys. Getting into fights and living with eight other dudes for three years straight gets a man wanting some time to himself, you know?"

Spy had a quick 'nam flashback of all the times in the past where his coworkers have made it the worst experience of his life. Anything ranging from killing each other even when on the same team, supernatural monsters, evil wizards, bread monsters…

"Yes… I know the feeling."

Engineer came running out of the house with one of the only auto reanimator they made since they've been in this world. He had to dig up Demo's body and pull his corpse out of the shallow grave first. Scout stepped over Demo as he went inside the house.

"Christ Soldier, you really had to smash his brains out?" Engie said as he was picking up bits of Demo's brain and skull.

"Yes! It was for America!" Soldier yelled whilst scrubbing out blood from one of the red stripes on the flag, not realizing no one would really notice it. Engie shook his head and shoved Demo's brain bits back into his skull before throwing the device by him. The device did its job and Demo was alive and well again.

"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…" Demo went. He stopped when he realized he wasn't flying anymore.

"Oh…" He looked at the self-destructed device next to him.

"Did I die?" Engineer nodded his head.

"You done and wasted a reanimator too. These things ain't easy to make you know?" Engie said.

"Sorry mate… Must have been meh scrumpy." Demo burped loudly and passed out while Engineer face palmed at his friend's drunken antics. He then picked up the reanimator and went inside to see if he can fix it up for future use. Soldier began softly singing some military song as he worked on his flag.

"From the halls of Montezuma,

To the shores of Tripoli,

We fight our countries' battles;

In the air, on land, and sea:"

The ultimate American patriot kept singing when Medic and Sniper came running in from the front entrance.

"G'day fellas." Sniper said between breaths. "You see Demo 'round-" Sniper stopped once he saw Demo out cold on the lawn.

"Ah, he survived. Damn rat…" Sniper went inside the house while Medic stayed back to examine Demo.

"Hmm… No sign of anything broken, internal bleeding, or even bruising! Spy, did you use ze new auto-reanimator Dell and I built?" Spy nodded his head.

"Ah. Zat vould explain it. Vell, I suppose I ought to go inside and build some more then."

"Yes. You go do that." Spy said. "Those devices are very essential to us." Medic nodded his head and went inside. You can hear him calling out for Engineer so that they could begin work on the devices. That left Soldier and Spy in the scene, not including Demo. Why? Because when Demo is out cold, he's practically in another world until he wakes up from drunken slumber.

"…In the snow of far-off northern lands.

And in sunny tropic scenes;

You will find us always on the job.

The United States Marines."

"Soldier, please stop your singing." Spy said, and Soldier looked at him angrily.

"Stop my singing? You snail-snapper… of course you wouldn't appreciate the patriotic songs of the U.S.A! Damn you! I'll keep singing until I drop from starvation! Now run off like your country did in the war, rifle-dropper." He resumed work on his flag and started another singing another military song. This time much louder.

"He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright,"

Spy simply shrugged the insults off, he didn't have that many connections with France anyway. He walked over Demo and into the front door, when he was suddenly run over by Pyro rushing into the house and upstairs at breakneck speeds.

"Ohhhh…" Went the Frenchmen as he lay on the floor with a possibly broken back.

"Medic…"


Pyro's Room

Pyro violently knocked its door open and threw Neo into its pile of stuffed animals. It then slammed its door shut and locked it with whatever it had until it was obscenely secure. Once it was done, it slowly turned towards Neo, and stared at her. Neo was tightly hugging a huge cat plushy, shaking in fear as the Pyro walked towards her. She was afraid it was going to torture her since it knew who she was, but then again, this guy has done nothing other than be really nice and friendly to her.

"Mphm…" Pyro went as it was standing above her. It extended its hand for Neo to take which she hesitantly did.

"Thank you". She said in sign language once she was on her feet. Pyro mphmed a response, which she guessed was a 'you're welcome'. It then reached into its insanely deep pockets and pulled out a little piece of paper.

"Mphm!" It gave her the paper, and it was an adorable little 'FriEnd CarD" with a happy face, flowers, rainbows, smiling corpses, kitties, doggies, burning houses…

She looked at the card warily, then gave a shy smile and pocketed it. Pyro clapped its hands happily and hugged her. Neo jumped when it hugged her, unaware that she had changed her eye colors as she did so. She slowly and uneasily hugged the Pyro back, much to its delight.

Okay… Neo thought. It knows who I am, but he doesn't seem to care that much. She relaxed and smiled as the Pyro's friendly hug felt nice and warm.

Then, there was a knocking on the door.

"Pyro!" Spy yelled from behind the door.

"Hmph!" Pyro went as it ran to open the door, taking off every single thing it used to secure it. Once it was finally open, Spy gave Pyro a furious look while he was holding an empty first aid kit.

"Why did you run me over?!" Spy yelled. He was going to yell some more when he noticed the petite little black haired girl standing in the middle of the room. Spy looked at her and back and Pyro as he got his chest to stop heaving in anger.

"Pyro, why is there a student in your room?" The Frenchman asked after calming down completely.

"Mphmphm mphm!" Pyro giddily showed the 'SleeP oVer" drawing it showed Cinder earlier to the Spy. Spy gave Pyro a completely straight look.

"You… intend to have a sleepover with this girl?"

Pyro nodded its head and gave a muffled noise that actually sounded like a 'Yes!'

"Ugh…Pyro…" Spy face palmed. "You can't have a teenage girl over for a sleepover!"

"Mphm! Mphmhpmh Mphm?!"

"I don't care! If word gets out that a teenage girl slept in your room for the night, people could get the wrong idea and it will ruin our reputation!"

"Mphm? Mpmhm… Mphmhpmh…"

"Pyro! No! She is not sleeping over! And that is final!"

"Mphm! Mp-"

"Shut up! Just get her out of here already!"

Out of options, Pyro used its last resort… It got close to Spy and stared deeply into his-

"I will take all of your rainbows and toys away if you do not back away from me now, you maniac!" Needless to say, Pyro immediately jumped away from the Frenchman.

"That tactic no longer works on me, you fool! I've been killed and set aflame by you so many times that I've become immune to all forms of fear from you!"

That wasn't entirely true. Spy was still very aware that Pyro could absolutely fuck the shit out of him if it was really angry, but in this case, the Frenchman was counting on Pyro being too damn sad to remember it could do such a thing. Luckily, that was exactly the case.

Pyro slouched in defeat, and sadly turn towards Neo and gave its hand towards her.

"Don't worry young lady. The Pyro will lead you out of our home and you can go back to your dorm now." Spy looked her over once more before Pyro led her out.

"Hmm… You are one of our students, the one who refused to fight yesterday. Miss…?"

Neo made the sign language for 'Rosa Tremaine'. Spy raised a brow at her.

'You are mute?' He asked in sign language which surprised Neo.

'Yes.' She responded.

"Hmm, that would explain why you are so quiet." He said.

"Well, it was a pleasure meeting you Miss Tremaine. I bid you Adieu." He bowed his head and motioned for Pyro to go ahead and take her

He followed them out as Pyro led her downstairs, and as they walked past him, Spy noticed something was off about this girl's eyes… He remembered yesterday, during class, her eyes were a bright green, but now, they were brown and pink… like that girl that was with Torchwick.

Neo felt a hand placed on her shoulder and looked back to see the tall form of the Spy behind her. They were still in the hallway leading out to the Livingroom.

"Ms. Tremaine…" Spy went in a calm manner while Neo looked at him with a questioning look.

"I think I've had a change in heart. Maybe you can spend the night here." He said coolly.

Pyro, upon hearing this, jumped up in joy and rainbows somehow radiated off of it. It grabbed Neo by the hands and it made her jump and down with it.

"Yes, yes, Pyro. I know you're happy, but the choice is entirely up to her if she wants to stay here."

Neo's eyes went wide. She knew she was right up against the enemy that she was so afraid of, yet she also knew there was no possible way they could know who she was. Except for the Pyro of course, and it seemed that it hadn't told its friends of who she really was yet if the Spy didn't apprehend her about it by now. And the Pyro was her friend…

"Well, do you want to stay, Miss Tremaine?" He asked in a warm voice, interrupting Neo's though process.

She nodded 'yes'. Pyro jumped even higher in joy, dragging poor Neo up and down with it.

"Very well, looks like you are staying with us tonight! Now if you follow me, I will give you a sleeping bag down in the basement."

Neo gave him a confused look.

'But it's still daytime.' She sign languaged.

"Oui, I know that. But I will give it to you now so you don't have to worry about it later. Understood?"

She nodded her head.

"Excellent! Now come along. This should only take a moment."

Spy led Neo over to the Basement door with Pyro following behind, and opened the door for her.

"Ladies first." He said politely.

Neo hesitated a bit before proceeding down the basement steps with the Spy following behind a few steps back. She got the surprise of her life once she made it to the bottom. Standing at the bottom of the staircase in complete shock, Neo stared wide eyed at Roman Torchwick in his cocoon like constraints. Torchwick opened his eyes once he felt her presence in the basement. He was left ungagged this time around as he had no reason to call for help in a place where anyone who came would either beat up or arrest him. The criminal recognized the girl as Neo in her student disguise, but he was too angry to think about how they would disguise themselves as her disguise.

"Again? Are you seriously trying to trick me into thinking you got Neo for a second time? Man, you guys are desperate! Why don't you try looking for her up your-"

He shutted the fuck up when Spy finished walking down the stairs, whistling.

"Oh! Pardon me! Did I… interrupt something?" Spy smiled deviously and smugly while Pyro came down the steps too.

"Gag him." Spy whispered back to Pyro.

Before Neo could snap out of her shocked state, Spy pounced on her and grabbed her throat with both hands, choking her. She was gasping for breath as she looked over at Roman to see the Pyro run over to him.

"NE-Oughghg…" Went Roman as Pyro stuffed a pretty homemade scarf it knitted itself down Roman's mouth. T'was an unusual, but effective gag.

Neo's world slowly went black as oxygen was cut off from her brain. The last thing she saw before blacking out, was the Spy choking her out with a small smile on an otherwise polite and plain face.

"Alright…" Spy went as he stood up to his feet. "We got her, and to think she was hiding as a student here all this time…" He picked Neo up and held her over his shoulder.

Spy then walked over to the support beam at Torchwick's left, and started restraining her in largely the same manner that Torchwick was confined in. Torchwick was yelling muffled cries of anger during this whole ordeal by the way.

Once Spy was done restraining Neo, it looked like two giant cocoons were in the basement. You know, if cocoons were made of chains, ropes, sleeping bags, blankets, locks…

"Mphmpf?" Pyro mphmed.

"Don't worry about your friend here, Pyro." Spy said. He then looked at Torchwick straight in the eyes with a smug look on his face.

"We won't harm her as long as someone gives us answers." He smiled evilly as Torchwick's expression changed to one of genuine fear.

"Come, Pyro. We'll see her again tonight…" He said menacingly before walking back up the stairs with the Pyro.

After hearing the basement door shut, Roman looked over at his unconscious baby girl, and wept.


Oh, boo hoo! What an unmanly sod, this one is! I don't know about you lot, but I'm tired of this drama nonsense! What this chapter needs is a fatal dose of adrenaline, manliness, and action, all poured into one explosive cocktail of epicness! Now, I, Saxton Hale, am proud to announce that this portion of the chapter will be exclusively about me! Australian national hero and CEO of Mann Co., Saxton Hale! I know I said it twice, but if you've a problem with that, please pour your complaints out of your mouth hole and onto my fist once I connect it with your stupid faces! Now, back to the matter at hand! Here's part two of 'Mann vs. Beast: A Clash of Fists and Fangs!"

Mannlich

The townspeople lagged far behind Hale as he sprinted faster than a peregrine falcon in a hunting dive towards the alpha beowolf leading its beringels. One of the four beringels jumped in front of the alpha and took the full brunt of Hale's devastating charge with a fist clocking in at around 5 fucking hundred kilometers per hour crashing into its chest. The creature wasn't dead yet, but it DEFINITELY felt that shit as it was sent crashing into the lesser Grimm behind it. True to the alpha's orders, the remainder of the Grimm army ignored Hale, and focused on the townspeople.

"RAAAAAGH!" Hale roared in challenge to the five remaining beringels and alpha. The gorilla-Grimm slammed their fist into the ground and their chests as they prepared to rush Hale. Hale mimicked their actions mockingly, making them even angrier. One leapt high into the air and slammed down on Hale with its fists cuffed together. For once, Hale actually got the air knocked out of him.

The beringel was about to repeatedly smash its fists down on Hale's face when its neck was suddenly firmly grasped by one, manly, Australian hand. He punched the creature off of him, and quickly got to his feet and nimbly dodged a dozen swings from another two attacking in sync. As they were swinging at him, Hale grabbed one by its arm and ducked underneath the other's as it flew where his head was, and began swinging it around in an effort to use it as a living bludgeon. That didn't work out so well as the simian Grimm kept its footing and tried to chomp down on Hale's head. Hale had to break away from it to avoid getting his face bitten clean off, only to face the same beringel he punched earlier when it joined the fight to return Hale's punch. Hale blocked just in time, but the force of the punch was too great and he was sent skidding a few meters back, face first. Seeing their opportunity, all four beringels closed in on Hale and started beating the fuck out of him while the alpha watched. It would be smiling right now if it was a human. Feeling confident that Hale was down for the count, it looked around the battlefield to see that the townspeople were already retreating back to their wall with the lesser Grimm in pursuit.

After a couple minutes of beating Hale's ass, the beringels stopped, thinking he was long dead at this point. The alpha saw this and walked up to Hale's body with an air of victory surrounding it. Feeling so sure of itself, it decided to take a victory bite of Hale's flesh…

"Hahaha…" A voice laughed softly. The alpha paused midbite and looked at the down man in confusion.

SAXTON HALE!

All the Grimm around Hale were stunned as a manly and mighty roar was heard for miles around, and stumbled back to recover only for each and every one of them to receive devastating blows to the face in quick succession. The alpha in particular got an elbow smash to the face.

"Hahaha!" Laughed Saxton Hale. It wasn't one of those 2edgy4me insane anime laughs though, it was Saxton Hale's usual hearty laugh.

"Mate, you have no idea how long I've waited for a fight like this!" Hale said happily as he wept a tear from his eye.

"Ahh… Look at what you gone and did! You ruptured my tear ducts! I thought a sealed those off years ago!" Hale raised his fists and gave a brave smile.

"Real men don't cry! Why don't you sods come and wipe my tears away for me like the girls you are, hmmm?"

The Grimm got fuckin' pissed and ran forward to metaphorically fuck Hale so hard that he'll die from the sheer violence of the act. Ugh… the fuck am I writing this for… Well you get it, they want to kill him.

"BRAVE JUMP!" Hale yelled as he leapt high into the air to descend back down with his fist extended. One of the beringels jumped up with its fist cocked back to meet Hale in the air, only to get a manly fist to the mouth. I mean like literally in its mouth, as in Hale punched straight into its mouth and it was stuck in it. Well, it was stuck until the beringel's head exploded upon impact with the ground.

There was no time to marvel at his kill though, as Hale was nailed right in the face by the alpha as soon as he got to his feet. He slid back from the hit, and exchanged blows with the three remaining beringels as the alpha stood back and watched again. Hale ducked under a swing and sweeped a beringel off of its feet before slamming it into the ground with his fists. Then, he was dealt a blow to the gut and then a swing to the face from another beringel. Before he can even counter, the beringel he slammed a moment ago had grabbed his legs and held him there for the third beringel to come and uppercut him up into the air.

All three beringels jumped up to pursue Hale. One grabbed him by the legs in order to throw him back down to the ground, but it wasn't counting on the fact that Hale was counting on this to happen. Once the creature's arms were firmly grasped on Hale's legs, Hale flipped himself over, punched the beast in the face, making it let go of him, and pushed off of it with both legs, making it crash into one of its kin back into the ground. As for the last beringel in the air with him, it grabbed onto Hale's back and repeatedly slammed its fists onto Hale's hatted head. Hale reverse head-butted it and flipped it over him to pile-drive it into the ground. The creature's head caused a crater to form once it collided with the ground, but it wasn't dead yet. Before finishing it off, Hale had to punch and kick away its companions so that they couldn't interfere with this glory kill. Once he was clear, Hale grabbed both of the creature's bottom fangs, planted his foot firmly onto its chest, and began pulling with all of his strength. The creature roared in pain as Hale ripped out its fangs, thrashing around wildly in an effort to get Hale off of it, meaning it didn't see what Hale was going to do until it was too late…

*SHINK*

Hale stabbed both fangs into the Grimm's eyes, making it cease all of its movements and causing it to make a low groaning noise. The groaning noise stopped once Hale shoved the fangs deeper into its eyeholes. The manly man laughed once the creature began fading. Its companions roared in rage as yet another of their kin had been killed by this unbelievable man. They didn't have a lot of time to roar though as Hale quickly closed the gap between him and the Grimm. He held one in a very strong choke hold while he fought the other with only one arm. The choking beringel wildly threw its hands behind its back to try and get Hale to release it, but Hale moved it in front of the attacking beringel so that both gorillas would strike and hit each other. In anger, the attacking beringel slammed its fist into its own kin to get it to stop hitting it, grabbed it, and threw it away from Hale. Once the attacker faced Hale, it got several punches to the face, making it stumble back from each punch. Hale got punched back by the Grimm, but held strong. He returned blows with multiple, simultaneous, and devastating deep strikes all over the creature's body. It tried to return the punches whenever it could, but it wasn't enough to stop this beast of a man. No, if anything it made Hale intensify the speed and power of the blows against it. Eventually, the creature began to falter and stop punching once it ran out of energy, but of course, Hale didn't stop. He kept rapidly punching the Grimm for a couple of seconds before twisting his body all the way around with a fist cocked in uppercut position… to punch the beringel really high up into the sky.

The man then went under the swinging arms of the beringel he was strangling earlier, and tackled it. It did not go down however, and it was slamming its hands down on Hale's back as he tried to flip it onto its back. That was not a successful endeavor though as Hale finally hit the ground with a powerful cuffed slam from the beringel's fists. The gorilla was going to stomp Hale's head in, but the Australian rolled a couple of inches to the right, narrowly missing the stomp, and punched the beringel's balls. As the creature keeled over, Hale rolled his body up like a shrimp to use both legs to kick it up and away in the air, making it clip into the other beringel as it was coming back down to the ground. Though it had taken a really powerful uppercut to the face, this falling beringel descended back down with its fists cuffed and raised to smash Hale into the dirt. Luckily, this actually worked and Hale was pinned to the ground by the gorilla Grimm. The Grimm angrily unleashed a barrage of hate filled fists onto Hale, in which case he held his arms in front of his face, struggling to hold out against the barrage. Eventually, Hale grabbed a nearby stone and smashed it into the beringel's face with such force as to where its face plate cracked and it held it in pain. Once the creature stopped gripping its face to look at Hale, it was greeted by the sight of him holding something that he really shouldn't be associated with…

A safari shirt. Hale pounced on the beringel, wrapping the shirt around the creature's neck as it fell backwards with him on its chest. The stranglehold on the beringel tightened as it attempted to rip the shirt off of its neck, but it was useless as this shirt was impossibly tough. It weakly punched (at least much weaker than before) Hale in an effort to get him off, but in the end, it was killed by a shirt.

"Ha!" Hale laughed as he let go of the creature.

"Thank you Maggie for making these Kevlar shirts for my birthday!" He said to himself.

"…I'm still probably not gonna where 'em though. Oh well…" He put the shirt back in his personal inventory.

In an instant, Hale turned around and clotheslined the last beringel as it tried to get the jump on him. Hale jumped onto the creature as it was down to grapple with it in a wrestling match, rolling all over the floor with his limbs wrapped around it with the creature doing the same. He slammed his elbow into the creature's head a couple of time, took a punch to the chest, got a solid blow to the face when the creature grabbed his head and slammed him into the ground, and returned the favor with a suplex. After a few more moments of violent scuffling in the dirt, Saxton Hale hoisted it over his shoulders in a fireman carry and threw it off into some nearby trees, making some trees fall over with the creature's impact.

The creature angrily threw all the trees aside in a rage, but it was quickly silenced with an entire log thrown into its mouth. Hale ran behind the creature and elbowed the back of its head so that the log was really deep in its throat. The creature attempted to pull the log out of its mouth, but then Hale wrapped the Grimm's arms around the log with his spare hunting chain and punched it in the face to stun it. He ran back over to the free end of the log, and began swinging the log around with the beringel on it like it an Oympic hammer thrower. After a couple dozen rotations, Hale released the log, making it crash right into the sturdy stone wall of the town of Mannlich, Grimm first. Hale ran over to see if it was finally dead, and to his slight surprise, it was still alive, but barely.

Hale smiled and walked over to the creature.

"Ooo… Tough luck, chap!" Hale said as he patted the log that was still in its mouth.

"What say you we get this damn stick out of your mouth, hmm?" The beringel groaned in response as Hale removed its chains and the log. Once it was free, the beringel fell to the ground, flat on its back. Hale crouched besides its head and grabbed its lower and upper jaw and began pulling it in opposite directions. The beringel groaned loudly in pain as it felt its jaw get fucked when Hale broke it. Not long after, it finally died, and Hale stood up.

"Sorry about that!" Hale said with a smile. "I saw that in some film where this giant gorilla snapped a dinosaur's jaw by doing just what I did there!"

After taunting the Grimm, Hale looked around him to see the current situation of the town. Despite being driven back and taking losses, the townspeople had managed to hold the Grimm back in a brutal melee in the streets. And now, the Grimm were in high retreat as Atlesian dropships had arrived and begun strafing runs on them. The townsfolk cheered as Atlesian Knights and Soldiers dropped down to support them. But there was something off though… Where was the alpha pussy?

The Australian got his answer when he looked over to the forest to see the pussy itself, hanging out by the mouth of the forest with lesser Grimm in full retreat running past it, being a fucking pussy as usual.

"Well now! I thought you manned up mate! Yet you barely came and fought me at all! Seems like you truly are the coward everyone knows you are."

He's not wrong. A young beowolf who stopped beside the alpha growled, in which it got decapitated by the alpha.

SHUT THE FUCK UP! The alpha roared. It then ran into the forest with the remains of its army. There was only 30 out of the 600 it brought with it. A total defeat because of an Australian and a town full of manly frontier folk.

"Oh no you don't, you goddamn bitzer!" Hale yelled as he ran after it.

He was so determined to kill the alpha that he ignored the other Grimm running out into the forest, only 'interacting' with them when he ran them over. This was a bad move on Hale's part, as he just ran right into the Grimm's trap…

A huge portal of dark red swirls opened up and swallowed all the Grimm and Hale up. Hale attempted to slow down, but his momentum was too great. The portal then closed once the last of the Grimm had entered it.

"Hey! Where'd they go!?" An Atlas Soldier yelled as Hale and the Grimm just vanished off the spot.


Unknown Location

The portal spat Hale and the Grimm out onto a hard, crystal like floor. The Grimm scurried away before Hale could get up, and when he did, his eyes went wide.

Surrounding him in all directions, were Grimm of all shapes and sizes everywhere. Grimm on the walls, Grimm perched on giant dark purple crystals, Grimm covering the land, Grimm everywhere. Hale did not panic though. If anything, this pleased him because this was definitely going to be a HUGE fight, but he did feel a little dread upon seeing how many Grimm there were though.

"Welcome, stranger." A female voiced called from behind him. He turned around to see a bone pale women with glowing red eyes and adorned with an all-black cape with a strange design on it.

"Who the hell are you!?" Hale yelled at her.

"Who I am is not important, Mr. hale." She said. "What is important, is you being in this universe."

"Ha! Stupid woman, you're pets here dragged me into this world!" Hale said.

"I don't mean this realm, Hale. I mean our world as a whole." She said.

"You and your men don't belong here in Remnant. Especially you…" She said chillingly.

Hale pffted at her.

"*Pfft* Think I don't know that? I only came here to bring them back to our world, alright?"

"And it seems you've either forgotten that, or you have no way back."

"Uh, it might've been a bit of both… Mostly the latter…" He admitted. The woman smiled.

"Oh? Is that so? Than it must be your lucky day, Hale. I happen to have a way for you to get back to your world." Hale lit up.

"Really? Well slap me with a cactus made of nails, why didn't you say so earlier?" Hale said.

"Sure! Though I would be very sad if I didn't get to fight those buggers over there ever again…" He pointed a thumb at some Grimm.

"…Mann Co. comes first! And more importantly, my hunting reserve! Speaking of hunting, do you mind me bringing some Grimm with us?" She shook her head.

"While I would love to see another world burn, I already have this one to focus on. That would be a no, Hale."

"Aww… Applesauce! Oh well, let's get this over with. Let me get my boys before you send us back." Hale took a step forward when he was suddenly restrained by an unseen force.

"Actually, Mr. Hale…" Salem began. "While it's true you people don't belong here, you are the only one causing enough of a stir for me to do this to you."

"Argh! What are you doing to me?!" Hale struggled to move his body.

"What am I doing to you? Did I not say earlier? I'm sending you back home." She said. An evil smile formed on her face.

Hale was going to yell at her, but then a blue portal opened up right in front of him.

"W-what…" Hale said as he looked at what was on the other side. It was the dimension of nonsense and guff where Gaben and O-money lived. Speaking of the devils, they popped their heads out on either side of the portal entrance.

"Gaben!"

"I'm Monty Oum."

Hale's eyes went really wide.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hale screamed.

"I refuse to go back in there with them!"

"Too bad. Now, goodbye Mr. Hale." Salem said as Hale began slowly floating into the portal. He struggled with all of his might, but it was a futile effort. Hale was sucked into the portal, and it closed as soon as he was fully in it.


The Void

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hale screamed again.

"Oh… that hag!" Hale raved.

"Gaben." Hale's head snapped in the direction of the voice, and saw Gaben and O-money hanging out behind him.

"Hi." O-money said.

"Open this damn portal up you damn bastards!" Hale shouted at them.

He tried to grab them by the collars, but it seemed like the only physical aspects of them were the throne and desk so his hands just went right through them.

"Umm, no." Gaben said.

"No? NO?! Oh to hell with you then if that be your answer, mate!" Hale floated away from the men in search of the same portal thing he went through the first time he got to Remnant. He didn't have to search long as he already found the portal he was looking for. This time around, it showed an image of the mercenaries hanging out at their house.

"Ah-haha!" Hale laughed. "Sorry to leave so soon, lads! But I got a pale bitch to give some stitches too!"

He floated into the portal, only to slam against the moving images as if it were a solid glass wall.

"What!?" Hale gasped. He kept trying to enter the portal to no avail.

"Arrrrghhhh! Why won't it let me through!?" He felt a hand tap his shoulder, and saw Gaben off of his throne and standing behind him. Apparently, even though Hale can't touch them, they can touch him.

"What do you want!?" He yelled angrily. Gaben held up a little monitor that said "Saxton Hale has been banned from Remnant. Reason: Complaints of possible hacking."

"THE BANHAMMER HAS SPOKEN!" Gaben yelled as he held up a hammer that said "BAN" on it. O-money simply nodded his head at that statement while Hale just looked at Gaben with a sad and dumb face.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Oh fuck... Gaben and O-money are actually relevant to the story! Haha... oh, I'm going to get fucked over so hard by you guys...

Real talk here, I would like to thank all of you guys were bothering to read my story. All the support really means a lot to me. It's not like I enjoy reading your reviews or anything baka! Ugh... the cringe. And also, if you are a guest reviewer, please give yourselves a name. It makes it hard to distinguish guests from one another when I do these responses when they all have the name 'guest'.

Review Responses:

Determination Guest: Fuck, dude. I never played Undertale because I'm really poor/too lazy to get it, but by just watching the Sans fight on the internet made me cry on how hard it was.

Batmd and pepijn30: Yep.

Command8: Which scene reminded you of the friendtality? Pyro's entire interaction with Neo?

TheExpL0DiNgaPplE: Eventually.

MCZ: Thanks for the talk. The specific C4 I had in mind was the one from Counter-Strike where the terrorists plant a timed C4 at some important postion. I did this because in "The Contract" comic, Saxton Hale heavily implies that Mann Co. is the on supplying weapons to Counter-Strike players whenever they buy new weapons during a game.

Christopherprime22: Fear teh puppy eyes. They will melt your soul, they will cause extreme pain and agony to your loved ones, all because it is really cute!

Noble the Unknown Primordial: Thanks mate!

Stryker Pikachung J: Pyro needs to work on its technique, eh?