Lily could feel her knees grow weak and almost give way under her, but she gripped the banister firmly for support, determined not to keel over. Her whole body was trembling as she stared into the emerald-colored eyes. An involuntary shudder coursed through her and she felt her death grip on the railing slipping.
Up until now, it had been relatively easy to stay in denial. She hadn't been able to see any obvious resemblance to her in Harry. But now…those eyes. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing her own reflection gazing back at her, the same confusion and questions in the green orbs.
But there was also something else. Something that was almost akin to…pain? Except, why would the almighty Harry Potter, be in pain? A strange feeling crept over her. If she didn't know any better, she would have mistaken it for guilt. But that was ridiculous. What did she have to feel guilty about? It wasn't like she had done anything wrong.
Lily snapped out of her reverie, silently chiding herself for spacing out like that. What must people think? She must have been standing there for a good five minutes, with her mouth gaping open like a fish out of water and her things scattered all around her on the floor.
A quiet blush made its way across her cheeks as she stooped to pick up her abandoned belongings. Surprisingly, when she finally straightened, not many people were staring. In fact, the only one who appeared to notice anything was Harry. He had seemingly ceased to pay attention to her, but would glance her way with an unreadable expression on his face every once in a while.
She shook her head to clear out the confusing thoughts and decided that the Common Room wasn't the best place to study, after all. Gathering her stuff about her, she spun back around and hurried towards the girls' dormitories, not seeing the two identical heads of messy black hair turned her way.
~*~*~
James glanced up impatiently from concentrating on the chess game when Harry had failed to make a move…again. He was about to ask Harry what the holdup was when he caught sight of Harry's face. It was one huge jumbled mass of emotion, and he kept turning his head towards the direction of the staircase for some odd reason.
James' eyes darted to the place Harry couldn't seem to stop looking at, and was just in time to spot a crown of fiery red hair disappear through the sixth year girls' rooms. He frowned in puzzlement. Hadn't Evans been coming down a few minutes ago?
He looked at his son again. And why was Harry staring after her like that? His facial expression was seriously starting to freak James out.
James cleared his throat. Harry's head snapped back towards James, and that's when he got a good look at Harry's eyes. He inhaled sharply. Sure, there was the same turmoil there as on the rest of his face, if not more, but that wasn't what caught James off his guard. What had James so shocked was that he suddenly found himself staring straight into a pair of all-too-familiar emerald green eyes.
~*~*~
The first day of Christmas Break found one Lily Evans in a terrible mood. Hermione and Ginny had both gone home for the holidays. In fact, almost everyone had gone home, and that meant Lily was going to be stuck with James for a whole two weeks!
Lily yanked open the curtains and swung her legs over the side of her bed. She practically stomped over to the bureau and got dressed as slowly as possible, so as to delay the moment where she would have to see James.
However, one can only tarry for so long under the pretense of getting dressed, fixing one's hair, and other such early morning tasks. Besides, there was an empty stomach to think of, one which picked this exact moment to announce its presently famished state.
Lily sighed and decided it was definitely time to go down to breakfast, never mind what surprises were sure to be awaiting her. No sooner had she thought of this than she opened the door to her dormitory, and was greeted by an early Christmas present in the form of a dung bomb strategically thrown from the expert hands of one James Potter.
Just like that, the near hour she had spent "primping" turned out to be all for naught. And since there was no one else in the common room who could possibly overhear her, Lily didn't hold anything back when screaming at the top of her lungs, "JAMES POTTER, YOU ARE ONE DEAD MAN!"
And, thus, a merry game of tag ensued. Finally, James came to his senses and dashed out the portrait hole towards the Great Hall, realizing that Lily couldn't follow him in her present condition.
After she cleaned up the mess James made with the Dungbomb, she proceeded to the Great Hall to appease her now constantly growling stomach. Lily was walking into the Great Hall for breakfast, when she spotted a familiar mop of trademark black hair at the Gryffindor table.
She strolled over and plopped down next to James, hoping to snatch up an opportunity for revenge. After a few rather large bites of food (she was starving, after all), she casually inquired of Harry the reason he wasn't spending the break with his parents.
As soon as he was finished with his spontaneous choking fit, he mumbled some excuse about his parents going on a private vacation. This thought made Lily want to run to the nearest bathroom and retch, because she knew all too well who those parents were.
Needless to say, Lily immediately lost her appetite and excused herself from the Great Hall, pausing just long enough to dump the remainder of her food on James' head, plate and all.
~*~*~
Lily was a woman on a mission.
After fleeing from the Great Hall, she had gone outside to get some fresh air. She had found her mind inadvertently drifting to the photo album in Harry's trunk. A voice in the back of her head kept nagging her that there was something strange about the pictures in the little book.
She decided that now was the best time to find out what was wrong. Chances were, it was merely a concoction of Lily's own imagination, but she needed to know for sure.
She snuck a peek into the Great Hall to make sure that the Potters were still in their seats. Once reassured, Lily hurried to Gryffindor Tower. She cast a furtive glance around the deserted Common Room to double check that there was no one to spy on her.
Lily bounded up the stairway leading to the boys' dorms and shut the door behind her. Her eyes darted to the trunk labeled "Harry Potter."
"Alohomora!" Just like last time, the lock easily snapped open, revealing its contents to a certain redhead. She muttered to herself as she dug through all the junk.
Finally, she was able to uncover the elusive book and opened it to the first page.
She made a face at the happy little family waving back at her and promptly turned the page. More baby pictures…bah!
Turn. James Potter scoring a goal in Quidditch. Nothing interesting there.
Turn. Hey, that was her! Apparently, she was made Head Girl! Lily waved back at the grinning image. Now, who was that Head Boy next to her? Ack! It just had to be Potter! And he had his arm around her!
Turn! A wedding picture…with the two of them engaged in a lip lock. Eek!
Her eyes were hastily squeezed shut, but it was too late. The horrifying vision was already burned into her mind. She inhaled deeply and held her breath for a moment, then slowly let it out.
"It's okay, Lily. Just calm down," she coached herself.
Dreading what she would find next, she flipped to the next page.
Lily forced herself to open her eyes, and risked a look. She breathed a sigh of relief. It was just another family picture, with the three of them outside what seemed to be their house.
Turn. The Marauders outside the Three Broomsticks.
Turn. Lily getting hit with a pillow and feathers flying everywhere.
Turn. Lily cooing over Harry in his crib. She had to admit, he was a rather cute baby.
Lily was so engrossed in the pictures that she didn't hear the person outside the door until they were jiggling the doorknob.
She quickly tried to shove the photo album back into Harry's trunk, but wasn't fast enough. The person had already entered the room, and was staring at the sight of the little black book in the hands of one of the only two people he didn't want to see it.
She didn't seem to be too upset about getting caught by him. In fact, she had an almost relieved expression on her face, as if she had been half-hoping he would catch her.
Indeed, that was what Lily was thinking at that very moment. She knew that she couldn't keep this secret inside any longer, and she had been practically bursting to let it out. He was certainly the best person to talk to, since her new friends would probably freak, and Potter…well, she didn't even want to go there.
Lily had been waiting for the right moment, and here was the perfect opportunity. If he hadn't walked in on her, she might have just gone ahead with her original plan. But, somehow, she didn't think going up to him and declaring straight out she knew that they were going to be a family soon would've gone over too well. Yes, it was definitely better this way.
He stood a few yards away from her, apparently waiting for her to make the first move. So she did.
"Harry, I think we need to talk."
Harry's only answer was to walk over to his bed and make himself comfortable, waiting for Lily to start. He waited for what seemed like an eternity, but in truth was only a few minutes.
Lily was having an extremely difficult time trying to come up with what to say. It wasn't that she didn't know what she wanted to tell him. Actually, it was the fact that she simply had too much to tell that she didn't know where to start.
Also, her words tended to get twisted around Harry, coming out with a completely different meaning than she had originally intended. Maybe, it was that she had a hard time keeping her temper in check around him. Or, rather, Potters in general, especially of the male specimen. It must run in the family.
A few choice examples immediately sprang up in her mind.
"…disgusting piece of filth…wretched son…I wish that you were never born!"
Lily felt the tears welling up in her eyes threaten to spill over, but she didn't bother to wipe them away. She deserved them for her dreadful treatment of Harry.
And Lily realized that there was only one thing she could say.
"I'm sorry."
The hushed words came out so unexpectedly for Harry that he almost didn't catch them. He blinked in disbelief. Silence. It must have been his imagination, right? Anne could not have just apologized to him.
However, there was no way that Harry could miss Lily's next words.
"What kind of a horrible mother am I going to turn out to be?" Lily didn't realize that she had expressed her thoughts aloud until she heard Harry's sharp intake of breath.
She raised her eyes to meet his.
Emerald clashed with emerald. Past with future. Mother with son.
"Maybe your father's been right all along. Maybe I am just a Green-Eyed Monster after all."
Lily's words finally began to sink in, and Harry started to shake his head. Slowly at first, then more fervently. She couldn't think that. He slid off the bed to where she was collapsed on the floor, her form shaking with quiet sobs.
"No," he whispered. When she gave no sign as to having heard him, he tentatively reached out to her. And slowly, ever so slowly, he wrapped his arms around her.
No, Lily wasn't forgiven. Both of them knew that. But it was a start. Together, they had taken the first steps on the path to redemption.
Little did they know at that moment just how far Lily would be forced to go for that redemption.
For, at that moment, they simply held each other and poured their sorrow into their tears.
Sometime later, their tears had dried, but neither had attempted to get up from the floor. And that was how they were discovered.
The figure in the doorway wore a shell-shocked expression on his face, gaping at the strange sight before him.
Upon noticing him, Lily whispered something to Harry, who nodded. Then, she picked herself up from the floor and brushed past him, pausing ever so briefly to murmur, "Hello, James."
James stayed frozen in the doorway, not even immediately registering the fact that Lily had just called him by his first name.
"Oh yeah, and James?" Lily asked, turning back around. She casually walked over to where James was rendered immobile and pointed to a clump of his damp hair. "You missed a spot."
He instinctively ran a hand through his hair and came out with a bit of egg between his fingers. "Thank-" he broke off in mid-sentence, for there was no sign of the redhead anywhere.
He turned towards Harry, who had been quietly sitting on the bed throughout the entire thing. What, exactly, was going on between Harry and Lily? James narrowed his eyes at his son. Harry definitely had some explaining to do.
*~TBC~*
I swear, one of these days, I'm going to give you all heart attacks from my cliffies. But this one wasn't really that bad, was it? I mean, considering the others in this story, it's actually pretty mild. In fact, it doesn't even qualify as one in my book.
This is my longest part up to date! Aren't you proud? What was that? Oh yeah. I had three and a half months. Uh-huh. About that. You see…um, well ff.net was to blame for part of it! It was down an awful lot, don't you think? And…would you believe me if I said I had writer's block…er…again? I thought not.
*~Thank You to Reviewers of Chapter 11~*
(That is, if you're still around to read this)
Vmr: Thanks!
Kay: Was this chapter interesting enough for you?
Lilz: You feel sorry for Harry? So do I! LOL
Tarawen: I was planning on having Sirius in the story, although not for a while. But I don't know if I'll have him be the one to give it away. Thanks for sharing your idea, though!
Kat097: *breathes a sigh of relief* I'm safe!
LexiGurl: Glad you thought so!
Snow Lepoard: Thanks for reviewing!
Sierra*Sitruc: Because I'm evil, that's why. Or, at least, that's what I've been told…numerous (more like countless) times.
Phoenix: Lily's slightly…confused. (slightly?) hehe
A-man: I would have thought that you would've gotten used to my cliffies by now!
Endriago Luna aka tsuki tatsu: No, the reviewers aren't dissin my characters. That's why I was confused when you said "everyone."
Bumblebee Bucy: Thank you!
Maab: Aren't my cliffhangers always evil?
Time Twins: Yep, Harry does seem to have all the problems, doesn't he?
LupinsLover: Well, Lily has a short fuse. What can I say?
Thistlemeg: Very good questions. I know the answers to both. Am I telling? Um…you must know the kind of person I am by now.
SAKURAnTOKYO: Eventually…
Quack Quack 88: You're right, that is kind of creepy! And just, well…WRONG!
Lily Evans Potter: Thanks!
Star: I got your message alright! More like, how could I miss it?? :)
Gia: Glad to hear it!
Lily Evans P: You really think I'm one of the best? I mean, seriously??? You're so not sucking up…riiiiiiiiight…. Glad you think my story's suspenseful.
Jenny: Me and JK? I did not just read that! Are you sure you really meant ME (as in a simple little 16-year-old with no life) and JK (the great, awe-inspiring, incredible, fantastic, marvelous writing GODDESS)??
Leita: One of the greatest? I'm flattered!
Em: Yes, I did say to give me ideas, and very promising ideas they were! Actually, I think I emailed you about one of them (I'm not going to say which one, since I don't want to give anything away to peeking eyes). And there was nothing wrong with this review!
Queenoftheworld: Lily tells James? But… But… That will take all the fun out of it! I have a TON more stuff planned before she says a word!
Liz Angels: Lily's aware that Harry's her son (she's not THAT dense hehe) but you have to remember that the girl just found out that she's going to end up marrying her worst enemy! I don't know about you, but I would be more than a little upset if that happened to me. And there's whole thing with being trapped 20 years in the future with said enemy and no apparent way to get home. And then having a bombshell like that photo album dropped on her, and the stress is really getting to her. I hope that made some semblance of sense. Thank you so much for reviewing…and tsk tsk tsk for neglecting to do so in previous chapters! And about that happy ending…err…all I'm going to say is that you'll have to wait and see! I already know pretty much how it's going to end, but of course, that doesn't help YOU too much, now does it?
Eris, Queen of the Shadows: But I'm so good at cruel and unusual punishment!
Lady FoxFire: No, she's known since she found the photo album that Harry's her son. However, she couldn't see any glaring resemblance before, so it was relatively easy for her to keep on denying it.
Alia: Thanks!
Grayswandir: Sirius, definitely. I don't know about Wormtail/Voldemort. Maybe. I haven't read many time travel stories, but is Harry being a Parseltongue really that overused?
s h i n a e: Don't worry, Lily won't be like this throughout the entire story.
HPMystery: You must be the first person to actually LIKE spiteful Lily. Everyone else is thinking of ways to torture her! Personally, I think it fits.
Ice: *kicks Lily in the shin* There you go!
Luna Rose / Phoenix Child: Thanks for reviewing!
Tidmag: Hm, since you think a sad Harry is so cute, is that my cue to add in more sad Harry in future chapters? Hehe Weeks, yes. Months, yes. Years, I haven't quite gotten to that stage yet. But, honestly, I'm not THAT bad, right? *cough*yeah right*cough*
dOwN aSS cHiC: And you're so certain that L/J will make up…why? After all, according to what I've been told, I'm a very evil person. Wouldn't it be just like me to keep them apart?
Meg: I wrote more…not so soon. Um, oops?
Fangboy: Yep, after 11 chapters, his eyes are FINALLY back to green. Maybe now, I'll stop getting so many reviews/emails saying that Harry's eyes are NOT supposed to be blue.
Bella Black: Thank you!
Evil Green Jello: I went back and reread some of the parts in this story. You're right, he does! That's what, two or three times now? And the story's not even close to being finished!
Ray of sunshine: I'm talented? Aw…thank you so much! *happy sniff*
Ronniekin's Sweetheart: Haha! Just thought I'd throw that one out there! Like I told another reviewer, wouldn't it be just like my very evil self to have them NOT get together?
Anon: Sorry to break it to you, but I'm not very good at ASAP. Just ask any one of my long-time reviewers, and they'll tell you how long you guys have to wait for updates. And- Hey! Where are you going? I was, um, only kidding! Yeah, that's it. I actually update very often. Mm-hm. Twice in one year, and if you're lucky, four- Come back here!
Lyse: Thank you!
Summersun: It would seem that way, wouldn't it?
lick me: I'm continuing, I'm continuing! hehe
Sakura is to perfect: Glad you thought so!
RJLL: I made you cry? Wow, that's a first! I'm so proud of myse- Er, I mean…
Xaviera: I got the picture! I'm definitely NOT sick of hearing how much people are enjoying this story. I'm still floored by the overwhelming response this fic has received! But whatever do you mean by torturing little helpless innocents? *puts on her best puzzled face*
Allie: But of course cliff hangers again! Did you really expect anything else from yours truly?
Miki: Thanks for reviewing!
PrincessLesse: LOL! That's all I have to say! Oh, and that Green-Eyed Monster line was just for you!
iluvjosh79: I feel bad for Harry, too. Hm? What was that again? Oh yeah, I was the one who made it that way in the first place.
Celeste: Thank you!
Basilisk: Soon? I don't know the meaning of the word "soon." Please enlighten me!
Silver Flame: I'm sorry that my chapters are too short and too far between for you. That's just the way I write. Don't worry, I didn't take offense. In fact, you wouldn't bother asking me for longer or more frequent chapters if you didn't like my story.
EuGIeBeAr: Yes. Cliffie. Cliffies are good. Oops, did I just say that out loud? *runs away from a mob of angry fans*
Potterschik: Thanks!
The-Girl-Who-Lived: You read my little ol' story for two hours straight? Wow…
Vicsamky: Hm, that's a really good idea. I would definitely use it if I didn't already have an idea of my own. The rest of the fic basically centers around that idea, so it will be really difficult to incorporate your idea into my fic. And another thing, I've never tried to write a fight scene before, so it will probably come out totally messed up and confusing.
Mave: You're right. Thanks for telling me!
Kristatwen: You don't remember if you did one what? A story?
Mikala: Thanks for reviewing!
Cosette: Three days? Uh, just substitute "days" with "months" and you'll be right on target!
Kaori Lily Marie Otome XIV: Thanks for putting it in your favs!
Tinabedina: Thank you!
shimmerin' crystal: Glad you think so!
SiriusBPadfoot: That's exactly right! Thanks for clearing it up for chooch!
Whisper: Okay, a lot of people are confused about the eyes thing, so I'm going to try and explain. Lily does realize that Harry's her son, which is the reason she's so irritable with him. Up until now, Harry's eyes have been blue b/c of a potion he made in Snape's class. In chapter 3 (which is what has been causing all the confusion), Harry is introduced as having blue eyes.
Relena K. Peacecraft: This fic definitely hasn't had a whole lot about James and his thoughts so far, has it? Hm, I'll try to work on that.
Tabbycat: Funny? You think this fic's funny? Hooray!!! Now I've officially proven certain people I know who think I don't have a sense of humor wrong! Thanks! Btw, put back by a Time-Turner? Why, whatever do you mean? *puts on her best innocent face*
GD: Sorry to have left you hanging!
WM: You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome! hehe
Su-Su: Don't die! Here it is! *heart rate monitor starts to flatline due to the LONG delay* Er…
Jody: I know that not all redheads have a short temper, but that was just Harry trying to make himself feel better. And, yes, James did call her Lillian on purpose. At the end of Chapter 2, Dumbledore said that her new name was "Lillian Parker". In Chapter 3, she introduces herself to Hermione as Lillian, Anne for short.
ChildLikeTendencies: Thank you for reviewing!
QueenieNRCatFan: I'm glad you like this story!
Shampoo ul copt: Well, it's wonderful of you to let me know!
Sailor Sol: I hope this chapter didn't disappoint on the guilty thing!
Delphine: I liked that comment, too! It was also ironic, though, considering just how much Lily and Petunia are different from each other.
Allison M Potter: Yep, Lily was definitely handling the whole thing wrong.
Carms: Oh, I'll keep posting all right. Just can't give you a deadline on the "when."
Bodie: I'm sorry if I've made you depressed. The whole story won't be like this!
Christa: Your fav?! As in singular? OMG!!!! Thank you, thank you!
The-archress: Thanks!
Silverstreak: I'm continuing! :)
Y. Kuang: You're gonna…email me. Well, I love emails! Maybe I should deliberately withhold the next chapter just to get more! *runs away from all the raised weapons* Then again, maybe not. Hey! I was only kidding! Really! Point that wand at someone else!
Diana Crescent: I'm glad you enjoyed!
Iluvoliverwood: Some people don't get the fact that she's in denial, and it just gets even more jumbled up when I try to explain. I'm terrible at explanations! I'm glad someone gets what I'm trying to say!
Coolchick207: Short, sweet, and to the point! I like!
Diabla666: She blamed Harry because she didn't have anyone else to blame. After all, she couldn't exactly go up to James and yell at him. First of all, even though she wasn't being the most rational person, even she knew that she couldn't just blurt out stuff like that. Secondly, James would probably have either freaked out just as much, or made some lewd comment about—er…use your imagination. What else is on the minds of teenage boys 24/7? About the Lily/Severus thing…you're right. But we all know how twisted Snape is.
Twistie: Thanks for reviewing!
Carolann b.: Well, the story won't be finished anytime soon, seeing as how I'm not even halfway through yet, but I will try to update more often.
Whatever!: Oh, but the whole point of cliffies to leave readers hanging! Oops, that was obviously NOT the right thing to say.
RaspberryNile: I definitely won't give up on it! And if it takes me five years to finish it, then so be it!
Klea: Don't you dare die on me!
Lily potter: Well, I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but they are going to find out more about their lives. Accidentally, of course. I hope to work in some feelings soon!
Chantelle: She was surprised because Harry's eyes have been blue up until that point.
