HEY! First off, just in case anybody cares, my French exam actually went pretty well. The whole third paragraph of it was about a dream I had where Harry and Izzy had a baby and Dougie stole it and threatened to feed it to Zukie unless Harry re-married him.. but I won't go into that ;) So yeah, thank you so so much for all of the reviews! Once again I'd like to say an extra big thank you to xxPUDDxx because honestly your support means so much and you're lovely! *massive hug and a kiss on the cheek* I hope you enjoy this chapter... It's not very good :/ Sorry for all of the really rubbish chapters I keep putting in :P Anyway, enough of my blabbering.. Enjoy! :)
Dougie's POV:
I woke up feeling dizzy and weak. I remembered what had happened in the bathroom and instantly started to panic! I was going to die! I was throwing up blood! I looked around and saw Harry lay next to me, I quickly shook him awake,'Harry! Harry! You've got to help! Please help me! I don't want to die! I don't! I didn't mean to! Just please don't let me die!' I shouted at his desperately.
'Shh, shh, it's okay, you're okay. Just calm down Dougs. I'm here and you're safe. You're not going to die.' he replied soothingly gathering me in his arms.
'I am Harry! I am! There was blood Harry! There was blood! Oh god what do I do Harry?!' I shouted again pulling away.
'Shh, Dougie. Calm down. What do you mean?' he said, attempting to calm me down, refusing to let me escape from the embrace.
'When I was being sick Harry! There was blood! I was throwing up blood! I'm going do die Harry! Oh god I'm going to die!'
'You're not going to die Dougie! You need to calm down! The blood was there because you haven't been eating and then you've been making yourself sick. It's not good for you Dougie. Me, Tom and Danny all want to help you but you have to let us help you Dougs. If you keep going behind our backs and making yourself sick again then you're not going to get any better and the blood will keep coming. Please just let us help you Dougie and the blood will never come back. I promise.' Harry soothed. I nodded and calmed down within a few minutes. Harry sat holding me tightly in his arms as I cried into his shirt.
'Harry? What time is it?'
'It's about 10 Dougs. Why?'
'A-are we allowed to go and get some food?'
'Of course Dougie. Just take it slow though yeah?' I nodded and eagerly stood up to go downstairs. I ran down them and through the lounge, into the kitchen. I flung open the fridge and pulled out all of the instant food I could see. I practically threw half the fridge down my throat in one minute. Harry, Danny and Tom came sprinting in and told me to stop but I couldn't. If I didn't eat, then I would die. I couldn't die! I had to be around for Harry! And so I continued pulling different foods out of the fridge and shoving them in my mouth. I could feel my stomach gradually filling up and getting too full but I ignored the nagging feeling. Harry pulled me away from the fridge while Danny took the food from my hands and Tom shut the fridge door.
'DOUGIE! YOUR STOMACH CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT MUCH FOOD! YOU KNOW THAT!' Harry shouted in my face.
'Harry! I'm gonna be sick!' I said suddenly in reply, clapping my hand to my mouth. Harry attempted to run me up to the bathroom but he failed, I stood still in the centre of the upstairs hallway and threw up everywhere. It was worse than usual, I didn't stop being sick for ages. Even though I knew that Harry was mad at me, he didn't act like it. He sat with me as I knelt on the floor, puking my guts out, and he rubbed my back soothingly, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. When I had finished, he picked me up from the floor and carried me downstairs in his arms. He laid me on the sofa with my head on his knee and he put on Finding Nemo on tv. After a little while of silence, I decided to speak up,'Guys. I'm sorry. I just don't want to die.'
'Dougie... You're not going to die. We'd never let that happen to you. You need to start eating again but you need to take it at a slow pace and build up the amount you eat gradually. You can't just eat 3 months worth of food in 5 minutes and expect all of the trouble to go away. We'll help you build up your meals and your strength until you're back to normal but you have to promise that you won't do anything like this again, because if anything, it will make you worse. Do you understand?' Harry replied calmly. I nodded and sat up before wrapping my arms around Harry and burying my head in his shoulder.
'I'm so sorry for all this trouble I've caused. I just wanted to be a better band mate and boyfriend. I never meant for any of this to happen.'
'It's okay Dougie. We know that you didn't. But you never had to change in the first place. You were perfect!'
'I wanted to be more than perfect. Because you're more than perfect and that's why I love you so much. I loved you even when I first met you at the auditions and you were mean to me. I knew at that moment when I tapped you on the shoulder that something special was going to happen between us. I knew for years that I loved you and then when you admitted that you felt the same way, I was so happy! And then we told Tom and Danny and they didn't mind and everything was perfect. And then you took me to the beach for valentines day and I had the best night that I had ever had in my life. But then my dad came, and he told me that I was worthless and unloveable and then when I truly thought about it, I realised that he was right. You had always been so overly perfect and you had always done so much for me. You used to take me into your room whenever there was a thunderstorm and we'd make a den out of the bed covers and chairs and you'd keep me safe and warm in there until the storm was over. And if I had a nightmare or wet the bed, you'd be the first that I'd go to because you never cared when I woke you up at three in the morning, you just wrapped your arms around me as I cried and then you'd let me sleep in your bed for the rest of the night. You cared so much for me and I never did anything in return. And then I got jealous and shouted at you, and you tried to commit. But you survived and I made a promise to myself that I would be better. I would take you out and you wouldn't have to be ashamed to stand with me. I would be the most perfect boyfriend ever. And now that dream has all just washed away, and I'm uglier than ever. And you never say it but I know that you're all angry at me. I just.. I just wanted you to know that I could be better. I just wanted to be better for you. I wanted to be the perfect boyfriend that you have always been.. because you deserve that amount of love more than I do.' I blurted out sadly. I had tears streaming down my face by the end of my little outburst and I was shaking, trying to contain loud sobs.
'Oh Dougie... I never knew... I'm so sorry you had to go through feeling all of that alone.' Harry mumbled, tightening his grip around me and pulling me into an almost bone-crushing hug. I shook my head, as it wasn't his fault at all, and I nuzzled my head further into his shoulder. After about 20 minutes, Harry carried me up into his bedroom and sat me on the bed. It was raining outside and large clouds made the sky dark.
'What are you doing Harry?' I asked curiously, as he turned chairs and other pieces of furniture in his room upside down.
'There is a predicted thunderstorm tonight. We're sleeping in a den, just like when we were younger!' he smiled at me.
'You don't have to Harry, I don't want to make a fuss.'
'It's fine. It will be fun! We can invite Tom and Danny too if you'd like.'
'Yes please. This will be the best night ever!' I couldn't help but giggle. Amongst all of the drama, we were finally going to have a proper good old sleepover, just like the early months in the band house. Me and Harry turned all of the furniture upside down and draped his bed sheets over it before getting all of the quilts from around the house and throwing them inside. I went to get Danny and Tom whilst Harry went to find the portable DVD player and our old home movies as well as a collection of Disney films.
'Danny! Tom! We're having a sleepover just like we used to whenever there was a thunderstorm. Do you want to come? We've made a really awesome den!'
'Yeah! Awesome!' Tom giggled.
'Sounds wicked little man!' Danny replied happily, chuckling a little as he answered.
'Come on then!' I said excitedly, grabbing one of each of their hands and running up the stairs with them. We ran into Harry's room and inside the den. The roof and walls were lined with pillows for extra warmth and 10 quilts were lining the floor. I giggled and jumped onto the massive pile of sheets only to be met with a muffled 'ow'. I looked around in confusion before I realised that I had jumped straight on top of Harry who was underneath one of the duvets. I giggled slightly and we all lay in comfy positions inside the little den. We watched video clips of when we were younger and when we were just messing around in the house. It was the best night I'd had in ages. It felt like nothing existed outside this little home we had created. Like outside the den, nothing else was there, no troubles or problems waiting around the corner.. just nothing. All that existed was us four, a few pillows, duvets and chairs and a portable DVD player equipped with cringey home movies. In my head, that was perfection. Nothing else in the world could bother me...If only it was that easy...
