The Warper News Network (the series)

October 2018

Lost Footage – Dimentio's Interview


A camera briefly shows Cabba's face as he briefly apologizes for this footage becoming lost footage citing damage to the studio that postponing airing it.

"Thankfully, we were able to access the backup copy in our archives. So please, enjoy the interview. A warning, that it's a bit graphic." Cabba said waving goodbye as the footage cuts down as the interview begins to play.

-WNN-

The camera started up as Whis smiled as he then said "And now, please welcome the recluse warper of SM-U256 himself, Dimentio Dravonoski!"

The screen behind Whis and Beerus soon shifted and changed, revealing Dimentio sitting down in a blue, velvet chair, his half-mask on and his hair combed back, as he wore an icy black suit, with an icy blue tie and a black, buttoned-up shirt underneath his suit, as Dimentio then said, smiling, "Ah, hello, everyone!", as everyone clapped...

Beerus then, idly sipping his coffee, said "How is everything doing for you, Mr. Dravonoski?", with Dimentio chuckling and saying "Please, call me Dim. And to answer your question... things have been... interesting, to say the least."

"Although, it's best to ask Madame Evie for what happened. I'm still trying to figure out if it actually happened or not." Dimentio said, tiredly rubbing the uncovered part of his face, as Whis said "That is alright, Dim. I presume that things have been rather... chaotic, at the meeting with the World Leaders of SM-U256?"

Dimentio nodded, frowning, as he said "You'd be correct. And, to be honest, I do regret requesting for the meeting to take place. I had to stop them all from knocking each other unconscious, and, as a result, I almost drank an entire bottle of whiskey.", before he then sighed and shook his head, now smiling, as he then said "But, enough of that. I presume everyone wants to learn a thing or two about me and my universe."

Whis nodded and said "Of course. However, I'd like to start with one of the two most asked questions sent to us, after we revealed the interview. The question is... how old are you?", making Dimentio grin and say "Well, this is the perfect opportunity for me to delve into a bit of my past. You see, I am the heir to the Tribe of Darkness, which should sound familiar to those who have played the Nintendo game known as Super Paper Mario. And yes, I know that is very meta, considering I am the main villain in the game.", getting a chuckle out of Whis and a few others.

Dimentio smirked at this and continued, "However, there was another heir that was supposed to be chosen, until I myself was born. That heir... was Dimensio.", making everyone gasp, as Dimentio said "Yes, Dimensio is my brother. To be specific, he's my older brother, being in his thirties, if I recall. Anyway, after I was born and a few years had past, an event that everyone, I believe, should know about occured. You see, my parents were actually close friends with Akira and Genevieve Blackthorn, to the point where my parents, in their last will and testimonies, had given their parental rights to Akira and Genevieve, should they die. And, it just so happens that, they did die, but they died after Akira and Genevieve fought the Frost Clan and... decimated most of them. At the same time, a big wave of Warper Energy from the aftermath hit my universe, causing my universe to go out of sync with the other universes, making a few years for the rest of the multiverse... become over 2,000 years in my universe."

Beerus spat out his coffee in shock, coughing violently, as he choked some of his coffee down, before Whis said, "2,000 years!? But, that would make you over 2,000 years old!", making Dimentio nod and say "2,022, actually. My brother is 2,032. And, since I've brought up my brother, I might as well say this."

Dimentio then turned to the viewers and said "I know some of those that are currently watching this are wondering about me and my brother's... stance, for lack of a better term, of each other. So, I would just like to point out that, despite what my brother has been doing, I DON'T hate my brother. He is still my brother, and we are related by blood, whether we like it or not. The only reason my brother is doing this is because... he's become insane. No, he isn't just insane... he's become superinsane. Whereas we warpers have supersanity, my brother has superinsanity. However, I think I can save him from himself."

Beerus, after calming down from his coughing fit, said, a bit scared, "...h-how do you know you can?", making Dimentio smirk and point to his unmasked eye, before saying "After a while, my eye has been able to sense the souls of others, as well as their auras, Chakra, and, at times, their magic. Using this, I've been able to sense a small light inside my brother's darkness. If I can somehow bring that out, I can save him. However, I believe it has already started to come out on its own.", making everyone raise an eyebrow.

Dimentio noticed this and smiled, before he said "My brother has been giving me information. Information on a being that is SO reclusive, that Ace Maebure Blackthorn would be easier to find than this being. In fact...", before Dimentio got out a folder, opening it up, making everyone gasp, as it showed a picture of a robotic hedgehog, with two mismatched eyes, with its right eye being a fiery red and the other being an electric blue, a scar going over its electric blue eye, with pointed, slicked spikes going to the back of its head...

"Y-You're kidding..." Whis said, only for Dimentio to shake his head and say "My brother has been giving me information on the most dangerous 6th Level Warper to ever live... the Keter Voltroasity.", before Dimentio began to read out what was on the folder, saying "Wanted for the death of Warpers with bounties of around 300,000-400,000 and 500,000-600,000, the repeated use of time-fuckery and debauchery, and more, the Keter Voltroasity is the more reclusive Warper to ever exist, more so than myself. However...", only for Dimentio to stop and shake his head, as if to forget about it, before he put the folders away.

"Anyway, my brother has been giving me this information for the past few weeks. Every time he sends me one, I always find the same note on them: 'Something worse than Pinkamena is here, and it's ready to kill us all.'... and, for once, I believe him. I've felt something was... off, to say the least. Something's happening, and it isn't Dimensio, Black Rose, T. , Mortimer, or Pinkamena.", making Dimentio sigh and rub his head, stressed, before Beerus spoke up and said "L-Let's move on. How about we deal with the second most-asked question?"

"The Mask?", making Whis nod and say "Yes. They wish to know what's under the mask. As much as we want to respect your privacy...", only for Dimentio to say "It's alright. Besides, it'll prove that I'm more badass than you expect."

Dimentio smirked, as he slowly took off the mask, darkness covering his face, before he looked up, revealing his face... and people vomiting was soon heard, with Beerus throwing up into a nearby trashcan at the sight, with Whis shaken greatly, his hands trembling as he held his papers, disturbed at the sight.

Half of Dimentio's face was burned, revealing the bloody muscle underneath, his eye bloodshot, and wild, with bits of bone sticking out of the burned side of his face, the smirk on his face terrifying everyone, the muscles on the burnt side of his face moving, slowly, as he said "Now... I said I don't hate my brother... but every time I'm reminded of THIS...", as he points to his face, before continuing, "... a little of me begins to remember why I want to give him a taste of his own medicine."

"Y-Your own brother did that... to YOU!?" Kale said offscreen, Dimentio chuckled and said "Shocking, isn't it? This wound... it cannot heal. Not through magic, or ki, or chakra, or chi- nothing can heal this. It's both a physical wound... and an emotional wound. I'm like a fucked up Joker-Deathstroke hybrid. The pain is gone, as it no longer bothers me. Touching it gets nothing, but the feeling of my burnt, exposed face.", as he then sighed, slowly putting the half-mask back on, the eye of his half mask glowing brightly, no longer a glowing, pale yellow, but of a glowing, shadow black color, acting as the sclera, with rings of various shades of gray appearing around the center of it, acting as the iris, with a single, glowing white orb in the center, acting as the pupil...

He then asked "Anything else, Mr. Whis?", making Whis say, still a bit shaken by what he saw, "A-A f-fe-few more things, but I th-think we sh-should end it h-here for n-now, if y-you don't mind, t-that is.", making Dimentio nod and say "Agreed. I need to have a bit of a drink, anyway. Although... do you think you could air this to the major clans first, then the rest of the Omniverse?"

"Of c-course." Whis said, sipping his coffee to try and get his mind off of it, making Dimentio say "Excellent. And to help take your mind off of my burnt face, open the door to the studio in about a minute or so. Until next time, Warpers. And remember, Zone-Tan is watching you guys fap!", only for Kyu and Tora to say, in the background "Hey! That's our shtick!", before Dimentio said "No, you stole it from Zone-Tan. Later!", as the feed cut out.

-WNN-

After the whole disaster with Evil Morty and Mecha Rebecca, the mood about the Dragon Newscasters was down. It had helped that the evil pair had gotten away and had injured Kale in the process. Kale had to be on leave to recover, but she could at least spend time with Taydo. Caulifla opened the door to the studio wanting to preparing for a future interview and was trampled by a stampede of puppies of different breeds, from Pitbulls, Labradors, and English bulldogs to French bulldogs, golden retrievers, and chihuahuas, all barreling over Caulifla and licking her face as they rushed back into the studio, bounding over everyone else and licking them. Laughter was soon heard as everyone was hugging the puppies, who all bore Warping Energy, being resistant to the strength of those in Dragon Ball and able to survive... pretty much anything.

Whis was having a bunch of fluffy French and English bulldogs on him, as he cuddled them, before he said, laughing, "I needed this!", as he petted them, with them licking his face as he hugged them happily...

Beerus was being licked and nipped at by small Pitbull puppies as he smiled and petted them carefully, watching them surround him as he laid on the ground, enjoying what was happening, even if he wouldn't admit it.

Eventually, Kyu and Tora would reveal themselves to be behind this as they wanted to do something nice for the news team that worked so hard to produce content on a daily basis. Caulifla wound up adopt a bulldog for herself hoping to surprise Kale and Cabba when she got home.

"So, what are you even going to do with all these dogs?" Kyu asked Tora.

"Infinite universes, Kyu. There's bound to be people wanting dogs." Tora said with a mirthful sigh. "Figured they'd all need relief after what happened."


(A/N: This last part was originally apart of the "interview", but I've decided to repurpose this part for a scene taking place after October's news broadcast. That's why it's drastically edited. Hope you liked the Maelstrom of Stardew cameo!)