"Freed, wake up" Freed opened his eyes and saw Evergreen standing over him.
"Morning Evergreen, I had a dream that Juvia spilled one of her love potions on Levy's Fairy Tale book and we all got trapped in the world of Fairy Tales, crazy, huh?"
"Freed, I told you to call me mother, and who's Levy and Juvia?"
Freed looked around, "You have got to be kidding me"
"I don't know what you're on about, but I need you to take Bickslow to the market and sell him for the highest price you can get"
"You want me to sell Bickslow?!" Freed asked.
"I know you like him, but he can't even give milk and we're doing so badly ever since your father died and…" Evergreen trailed off.
Freed held back a giggle, "Bickslow is a cow?"
"Of course Bickslow is a cow, what did you think he was, some kind of wild monkey man?"
Freed laughed, "That is exactly what he is"
"Huh?"
"Never mind, I'll go sell Bickslow"
"Good boy" Evergreen patted his head and shooed him off.
"I still don't know how you managed to fit that knight's helmet on your head, but at least I can tell it's you, Bickslow" Freed giggled.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"Ha! This is too good! I am so going to tease you about this for months!" Freed burst out into a fit of laughter.
"MOOOOO!" Bickslow head butted Freed in the leg.
"Ok, ok, Bickslow, I don't want you to have a COW!" Freed doubled over laughing.
"MOOOO"
"Ok, ok, clearly you aren't aMOOsed"
"MOOOOO"
"Sorry, I couldn't resist, it was udderly ridiculous!"
"MOOOOOO"
"Ok, I'll stop! Wow, someone's in a bad MOOd"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"Excuse me, are you trying to sell that cow?"
"Uh, yes I was actually"
"Great," the man handed Freed a bag of beans, grabbed Bickslow and ran off.
"Hey! We never agreed to this!"
"Too bad! In the town of Naked Mummy, we don't care!"
"Great, Bickslow was stolen from me by a dark guild and all I have is a bag of beans...wait!"
"Freed! I can't believe you sold Bickslow for a bag of beans, what are we supposed to do with these?!" Evergreen tossed the beans out into the backyard.
"Well, I didn't exactly sell him,"
"Go to your room, Freed!"
"Yes, Ever- I mean mother"
Freed woke up early the next morning and saw the beanstalk outside.
"So I was right, I am in Jack and the Beanstalk"
"Ugh, where am I?"
"Silly Laxus, you've been sleeping for a day"
"What?!" Laxus jumped up and flapped his wings, "Um.. First Master, why am I a duck?"
"You're not a duck, you're the golden goose" Mavis corrected, "And I'm the golden harp"
"Uh, what's with all the gold?"
"Apparently giants like golden stuff"
"Not helpful" Laxus mumbled.
"We need to do something about that attitude, smile!" Mavis said.
"Where are we and how do we get out?" Laxus grumbled.
"So rude, to get out you have to kiss Freed" Mavis giggled.
"Eww, no way!" Laxus shouted.
"If you ever want to get back home and be a person, you have to" Mavis tried to keep herself from laughing maniacally.
"FE, FI, FO, FUM, I SMELL THE BLOOD OF A FIOR-AN!" Makarov shouted.
"Wait, this is Jack and the Beanstalk, the golden goose doesn't kiss anyone" Laxus glared at Mavis.
"Sorry, Mira said she would pay me in food if I got a picture of one of the couples kissing"
"How do you even eat?! You're a ghost!"
"Ghosts were people too!" Mavis stuck her tongue out at him.
Laxus sighed, "Why did they let a child like you become the guild master?"
"Because I founded it, dummy" Mavis giggled.
"Woah! This place is huge! Now, where do I find the golden goose and golden harp?"
"Freed! We're up here!" Laxus shouted grabbing Mavis and jumping off the table.
"Laxus, is that you?" Freed stared at the golden bird in his hands.
"Yeah" Laxus mumbled, "Can you just get us down and cut this beanstalk down so we can go home?"
"Nah," Freed muttered, "I'm never going to be able to see Fairy Tail the same way! Bickslow is a cow!"
"Who'd you sell him to?" Laxus pouted.
"I didn't exactly sell him," Freed started running towards the beanstalk, "More like a dark guild member kidnapped him and gave me some beans"
Mavis laughed, "Wow, everyone is really messing up these Fairy Tales"
"So everyone else is in other Fairy Tales," Freed pondered, "I wonder where Bickslow and Evergreen ended up?"
"You don't want to know about Evergreen," Mavis muttered, "She turned the story into a nightmare"
"That I've got to see" Laxus laughed.
"Aww, you look so cute laughing" Freed leaned down and kissed Laxus on the beak.
"Dang it! I left my camera back there, do you mind turning around so we can get it"
"DON'T!" Laxus shouted.
"Why'd you have to ruin all the fun?"
"Because you were going to sell us out to Mira"
"We really need to work on your sense of fun"
