Author's Note: Okay, there are parts of this with which I am not completely satisfied, but I really couldn't conceive of making you all wait any longer while I quibbled over every little thing. I am still looking for a beta for this fic if anyone is interested. I don't need a line-by-line critique, but it would be very helpful to have someone to read the chapters and discuss them with me before they're posted. If you're interested please send me a PM!


The Order of the Phoenix

After dinner I followed Hermione up to the seventh floor for the meeting. I was nervous, but her calm presence helped to keep me from losing my composure. She probably knew more about this Order than any other student in the school. If she thought the meeting was no big deal, I had every reason to trust her.

Instead of going into the room though, she stopped and leaned casually against the wall next to it. "What are we doing?" I wondered.

She checked that beautiful pocket watch that the headmaster had given her for her birthday. "Just making sure that everyone makes it," she said simply.

"Is that your job?" I asked uncertainly.

"Not really," she shrugged, "but I do feel some responsibility for the students that I recruited."

"The headmaster actually recruited us though, didn't he?" I clarified.

"Well, it's his group," she nodded, "but I was the one who talked you all into it."

I frowned pensively. She had an odd way of saying yes while making it sound a great deal like no.

The first two Gryffindors to arrive, I barely knew. They were a couple, I thought, but I couldn't recall their names at the moment. Longbottom and Ferris. That's as much as I knew.

Hermione nodded to them with a small, polite smile, "Go on inside." Just like they weren't from a rival house at all.

When Potter and his crew showed up, it was everything I could do to not reach for my wand. It just wasn't natural to meet them in a corridor sans teachers and not get into some kind of confrontation. Potter was scowling openly at me, but Hermione seemed to have lived up to her promise thus far. He didn't reach for his wand either. Lupin seemed to be trying to pretend that none of this was happening, and Black has the balls to wink at Hermione.

"Just go inside," Hermione frowned distastefully at them.

I was glad that Hermione was between me and the door when James went inside, and then the door closed and we were blessedly alone for a few more minutes before Reg showed up. He was dragging his feet and glancing over his shoulder like he was thinking about making a run for it.

Hermione finally pushed off the wall, and took a couple steps to stand next to the sixth-year. "It'll be okay, Reg," she said in a quiet, comforting tone. "Trust me."

And she was doing it again, I realized. How did she always know just what to say?

It worked too. Reg stood there and stared at her for a long moment, but then he stood up straighter, took a breath, and made his way into the room.

Hermione didn't immediately move, but stood there with her back to me, her shoulders slightly slumped. Before I could decide if I should say anything, she went through a process similar to that which Regulus had just done. A deep breath and her shoulders straightened before she turned back to me. "Are you ready?" she inquired.

"Are you okay?" I felt compelled to ask. She was acting it now, but I was sure I'd just seen a moment of some form of weakness.

"As well as I can be," she replied with grim determination. "We'd best go inside, or we'll be late."

I frowned for her evasion, but turned to offer her my arm. She took it, and we entered the room together at last.

The room was pretty full. We were clearly the last to arrive. There were almost as many students as adults in the room. I recognized Marlene, a Gryffindor who'd graduated last year. She'd been friends with Lily most of the way through school. Moody, Flitwick, and McGonagall were also there among the professors.

"Miss Wilkins, Mr. Snape, nice of you to join us," the headmaster's voice snapped across the room.

"Happy to be here, sir!" Hermione replied as though she was either oblivious to or unconcerned by the irritation in the man's voice.

I leaned down to whisper to Hermione, "Why didn't you tell him that we were right outside making sure that all the students got here?"

"Because he knows that," she replied just as quietly.

"Then why…?"

"It's either a show for everyone else or a test for me," she said quickly and with zero surprise. When I opened my mouth to ask why he'd want to do that, she shook her head, urging me to silence.

Though I hated it when she did that, I knew that it was probably prudent. This wasn't exactly the place to be having the conversation. I hadn't forgotten how she'd suggested that Dumbledore had been listening to our whispered conversation across the Great Hall on Halloween.

"Miss Wilkins," Dumbledore said after a moment, his tone still irritated. "A moment."

I felt Hermione's hand tighten around mine for a moment before she slipped away from me.

When she reached the headmaster, he bent down to speak quietly with her, turned away so I could gather nothing of what passed between them. After a brief exchange, he gestured toward the little desk at the front of the room and Hermione nodded and moved to sit there.

With a soft sigh, I took one of the only remaining seats on what seemed to be the students' side of the room. It was right at the front between the Ferris girl, and, I realized, Lupin. Bloody hell.

A glance around and I noticed that Reg was sitting all the way in the back corner, several seats away from his brother and studiously not looking at him, though Sirius was almost staring at the younger man. When I caught Potter's glare from his seat next to Sirius, I turned back toward the front, deciding to ignore the stupid Gryffindors.

"All right," Dumbledore called about the time. "Now that everyone has arrived, let's bring this meeting to order." No pun intended, I assumed.

Dumbledore began by telling us basically the same things that Hermione had. The overarching goal of the Order was to fight and defeat the Dark Lord. Students would begin by training, and, he added, "helping out where we could". I hoped he'd give more details about that later.

He went on to explain that the elder Order members – those no longer in school – would be helping the Order in the manner most suited to them by their skills and positions personally and professionally. He did not go into details about that, but passed over it quickly. Evidently, we didn't need to know.

Professors McGonagall and Moody would evidently be our primary teachers for our special training on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. I was not all that surprised, but still incredibly glad to know that Moody would be one of our teachers. He was one of the only teachers that actually seemed to like me without any ulterior motives. And he'd been a Slytherin. It was painfully obvious that there weren't many Slytherins in the room.

Though I was following the meeting as carefully as possible without actually conjuring a parchment and taking notes, I was quite surprised when Dumbledore addressed me directly.

"Mr. Snape, I would appreciate it if you would assist Professor Slughorn in brewing the potions that the Order will need," he said as though that were perfectly natural.

I automatically glanced at Hermione to see if she'd known about this, but she appeared just curious and mildly interested. I couldn't be certain, but I thought that was probably an act. Even before what had happened last night, we were close enough friends that I was sure she'd have been more curious about it.

I returned my focus to the headmaster quickly. "Me, sir?" I said, immediately cringing at the dim response.

"Horace has had great things to say about your brewing prowess, my boy," Dumbledore said, his tone kind in a way that felt foreign to me. My only previous interactions with the headmaster had been when the Marauders had managed to get me into trouble. On those occasions, the headmaster generally looked at me with disappointment before accepting that it had been all my fault and giving me detentions. I wasn't quite sure what to do with this side of the man.

"He scarcely has enough time to brew them all himself," the headmaster went on, "so he suggested that you may be able to help. The time you spend with him could go toward an advanced apprenticeship if you'd like."

I'd have accepted the work as my duty to the Order, having willingly joined them expecting that there'd be some kind of work involved. I'd have even looked forward to the opportunity to practice my brewing and hopefully learn some more advanced potions. The idea of an advanced apprenticeship though, floored me. To gets months' head start on my apprenticeship made it an opportunity rather than a duty. "Yes, sir," I said immediately. "Thank you," I had to add.

"Excellent," Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling in a way that I'd never seen before.

He quickly proved that I wasn't unique in his favor as he began to assign tasks to the other students. Longbottom would get an opportunity similar to mine, though in Herbology. He seemed as eager for it as I was for mine, which gave me an odd, unwelcome sense of camaraderie with the Gryffindor. Ferris would be working charms with Flitwick. Potter and Black were doing something undefined with McGonagall – probably something to do with their being unregistered animagi. Lupin, conspicuously, was not given a task. Surely Dumbledore didn't want to talk about his being a werewolf in front of everyone.

Regulus was revealed as a spy, to which the room at large looked at him. I, having known this already, took the moment to look at everyone else. None looked overly friendly toward the young man, but not outright hostile either. Sirius actually looked worried, proving that he may have some form of heart, at least for family. Hermione wasn't looking at Regulus either, but everyone else. Her expression looked annoyed as her eyes met mine for a moment.

But then the scrutiny for the spy passed and Hermione's face cleared instantly as others began to look in her general direction again. It was chilling the way she did that.

"Excuse me, sir," Potter said in his typical arrogant tone.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked indulgently of his favorite student.

"I think I speak for all the students here in saying that Wilkins there was the one who brought me in on this," he said, and Severus wanted nothing more than to hex him for putting everyone's focus on Hermione. For her part, Hermione barely looked interested by what he had to say about her. "So I was wondering, what exactly does she do for the Order?" Potter continued.

Dumbledore glanced back at Hermione, and I could swear he'd forgotten her existence until she'd been mentioned. "Miss Wilkins is serving as record keeper for the Order," he supplied, which explained why she was sitting apart from everyone else. "I asked her to broach the subject with the rest of you as she was the first student to join."

I studied her curiously along with everyone else, but I couldn't see the slightest sign that she didn't completely agree with the headmaster's assessment.

"Record keeper?" Potter asked skeptically.

"Indeed. She is highly organized. Perfect for the job," Dumbledore nodded as though it was perfectly natural that the best duelist in the student body was being utilized for her ability to read and organize notes.

This was some sort of cover, I was sure, being aware of some of her other duties that Dumbledore had already given her, such as flirting with Death Eaters and dancing with half the boys in sixth and seventh year while she "planted seeds" and "tested the waters". I desperately wanted to know the meaning of this subterfuge within the Order itself. I would have thought that, here at least, she wouldn't be lying and pretending to be less than she was. And Dumbledore was evidently encouraging, if not enforcing that very behavior.

Suddenly, I couldn't wait for the meeting to be over so that I could question her about it.

Before letting us go, we were each asked to take a watch, hair clip, or pendant from a bowl of identical, generic pieces. I chose a watch, since I didn't already have one, and watched in surprised fascination as it transformed before my eyes, becoming a fairly simple black metal with a white face and roman numerals. I couldn't help but smile a little. It suited me perfectly.

Dumbledore briefly explained that each piece of jewelry was charmed so that he could send us messages, which would become engraved on the item in words that only we would be able to see. This was how we'd be informed of future Order meetings, and other Order-related things.

Hermione, I couldn't help but notice, did not select a piece. But then, she wouldn't need it, would she? She had that journal, which was significantly superior in that she could send messages back and that the messages could be much longer. I also noticed that everyone else in the room took one. Everyone. Even the adults. Which would seem to indicate that Hermione was the only member of the Order with whom Dumbledore had established another form of clandestine communication.

I was beginning to suspect that she'd kept more secrets from me than I'd previously recognized.

We students were then dismissed, presumably so that Dumbledore and the elder members could discuss things to which we were not privy. I started toward the door slowly, waiting for Hermione to catch up.

"Miss Wilkins," Dumbledore's voice sounded quietly enough that he was obviously speaking to her alone, but not trying to conceal it from everyone else.

"Yes, sir?" she inquired.

"I apologize, my child, but you'll need to stay a bit longer," he explained kindly. "As record keeper, you'll have to be here until the very end."

I stared at Hermione in disbelief. Dumbledore's favoritism of her was readily apparent – at least to me – but I'd not expected this. He was allowing her to stay behind for the "adult" portion of the meeting.

She glanced at me and gave an encouraging smile and nod, which I took as a dismissal. With a small sigh, I left the room, wondering if she'd tell me about it later.

As it was already nearly curfew, I retreated back down to the common room with Regulus. We didn't speak. Despite being of the same house and both members of the Slug Club, we'd never really talked much. Reg was a popular Quidditch player and member of a highly respected pureblood family. Not to mention that he was a Death Eater this year. We had nothing in common.

Or, we hadn't. We were both members of the Order now, and I couldn't help but recall the contrast between the way the vast majority of the Order had looked at him and the way Hermione treated him. It was clear that Hermione had some sort of soft spot for the younger Black. It might have been pity for his unenviable position as a spy, but I was pretty sure that she'd have said something to him in this situation.

Considering that we weren't exactly private, I wasn't sure what I could safely say though. So, I ended up saying nothing.

When we got back to the common room, I gathered my homework and settled down in a corner seat to wait for Hermione's return.

After working, undisturbed, for more than an hour, it occurred to me that I'd not been bothered much in a while. Not by anyone in my own house or even the Marauders. When Lucius even looked at me anymore, his expression was always thoughtful or calculating, but never malicious or derisive as I'd grown accustomed to over the past couple years. Was that Hermione's doing? It seemed most likely, but had she done it directly or indirectly? Did she actually go around telling people to leave me alone?

I really hoped not, as that would irreparably damage my pride. I doubted that she'd need to resort to such measures though. She was good with subtlety. Everyone knew by now that we were together. No doubt that strong of a connection would make others think twice about angering Hermione by antagonizing me. Admittedly, it did bother me a bit that everyone was so frightened of her and thought so little of me, but there really wasn't anything to be done about that. Hermione was scary when she wanted to be. And sometimes when I was pretty sure that she wasn't actually trying at all.

I waited for Hermione until well after everyone else had gone to bed. When midnight had come and gone, I finally gave up and went to bed myself. I was a little worried that she'd not come back, but I figured that perhaps she'd just decided to go to sleep directly in the Room of Requirement and skip the nightmares tonight. I was disappointed, but I tried not to let it bother me. Too much.

~.~.{o}.~.~

At breakfast, Hermione sat down at my side as she always did, as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

"What happened last night?" I inquired when she didn't even look at me.

She flinched slightly when I started talking, and looked at me curiously while I watched her wand appear from her sleeve and swish in her lap to silently cast a muffliato almost negligently as she asked, "What do you mean?"

It irked me a bit that she was better at that spell even than I was now.

"I waited until long after everyone else had gone to bed, but you never came back last night after the meeting," I explained, my tone a bit more harsh than I'd intended.

"Severus, I'm so sorry," she said with evident sincerity – not that it was possible to be certain with her. "I was completely distracted by the time I left the headmaster's office."

So she'd gone up to his office after the meeting? Merlin, he really did favor her. "So where did you go?" I pressed, receiving the expected answer.

"I was in the Room of Requirement."

I stared at my plate for a moment, trying to decide if it was reasonable to be upset with her. She had warned me that her life was complicated and that I may not want to get involved in it, I recalled. Getting angry with her already for something like this didn't really seem fair considering that I'd gone into it claiming to be okay with it.

"Severus, I really am sorry," she said again, her hand closing lightly over my forearm where it rested by my side.

The simple touch spread warmth through me instantly and I cursed myself for having such a profound weakness for her at the same time that I wondered if I'd ever be able to truly be mad at her.

"What were you doing?" I wondered, letting most of my anger go.

She grimaced and I recognized the look instantly. This was going to be one of those, "I'll explain later" or "I'd rather not talk about it" things. My frustration returned tenfold.

Just when I was reaching for my fork, her hand closed over mine. "Come with me," she said hopefully when I looked at her.

I was surprised and uncertain about what she was planning, but I followed, of course, as she led me out of the Great Hall and up to the seventh floor.

The Room of Requirement looked vastly different than I'd seen it before. It was fairly small, with a beautiful waterfall against the far wall, stunning lifelike paintings of mountains on the side walls, and a mirror running the wall bearing the door.

"Wow," I couldn't help but mutter while she sat down on a large pillow in front of the little pool into which the waterfall spilled.

"Pretty much," she agreed with a small smile.

After a moment more to appreciate the paintings, I moved to the second cushion and sank down onto it.

She looked nervous as she took a deep breath before beginning. "You've noticed that my magic hasn't been quite right since my birthday."

I frowned at the topic, but nodded. I reached out to close my hand around hers since she looked like she could use the support.

"It's worse than I've let on," she almost whispered, her eyes focused on our hands. "Considerably worse. The headmaster believes that it's temporary, and I think he's right…"

"What, exactly, is wrong with your magic?" I asked cautiously.

"I can barely control it, Severus," she said with a shaky sigh. "I've learned to manage some of the simpler spells, but… In a duel, I'd be about as helpless as a first year."

My jaw dropped and I quickly snapped it shut before she looked at me. "This has been going on since your birthday?" I breathed.

She nodded.

"But…" I protested uncertainly. That couldn't be true, because… "I've seen you… With Potter, and…"

"I never actually did anything," she pointed out. "I just let them think that I could."

"I-" I closed my mouth as I realized that she was actually right. She'd been so intimidating… She'd practically begged him to try something. "Oh," I muttered unintelligently. She'd been bluffing. "How did this happen?"

She shook her head helplessly, "I really don't understand it myself. Some sort of rare phenomenon that cause my magic to… shift. It's like I have to learn how to do magic all over again. But it's more difficult this time because I keep trying to do it the way that I learned the first time."

She looked like she was almost ready to cry.

I left my cushion to move around to her side so that I could pull her into my arms. She sighed softly, relaxing against me.

"I'm so sorry, Hermione," I whispered resting my cheek against her hair. "You don't deserve this."

For a long moment, I offered silent comfort with my simple embrace. Neither of us spoke.

"What does this have to do with where you were last night?" I finally asked, since it had seemed like that was what had inspired her to bring me up here in the first place.

"Albus gave me a book with some meditation techniques that he thought may help me. I got completely carried away with them. When I finally checked the time, it was nearly breakfast."

It was the first word that I got stuck on. "Albus?" I asked incredulously. Had she really just called the headmaster by his first name?

"It's from talking to Alek so much," she said with a minimal shrug from her place against me. "He always calls the headmaster Albus because they went to school together, and he never calls me down for it. I suppose I've come to think of him that way."

And she was evidently on a first-name basis with Professor Moody as well.

"Speaking of Alek, you should get going," she added.

It was nearly time for first period, I realized. I drew away from her regretfully, studying her eyes as I searched for evidence that she was going to be okay alone for the next hour. Of course, she would, I realized. This was Hermione. She was good at being alone.

As I looked at her though, my eyes went to her lips of their own volition. After this and the Order meeting, it was hard to believe that Halloween night and the following morning had really happened. So as I leaned toward her, I wasn't at all certain that she'd approve.

She quickly proved my fears unnecessary as she closed the distance between us.

Gentle fingers wound into my hair as her lips parted mine gently to admit her into my mouth and I promptly forgot the Order, her magic, and first period. Nothing existed except for the two of us. Nothing could ever matter the way that she mattered. The world could burn around us and as long as she was safe and happy and mine, I really wouldn't care.

She drew away from me slowly, a content smile replacing the disquiet she'd portrayed before. "You have to go," she reminded me, her voice wonderfully breathless.

I nodded and kissed her softly but briefly one more time before I forced myself to get up. "I'll see you in potions?" I said on my way to the door, the statement somehow becoming a question on the way out. Merlin, I never wanted her out of my sight – out of my arms – again.

"You'd better," she replied with a cheeky smirk.


Oh, Severus has got it bad! If you noticed some minor discrepancies between this chapter and Hermione's side, I'M SORRY! Oversight. I'm going to fix it and update the other side. Nothing big. If you didn't notice them before I mentioned it, you probably don't need to reread anything. If you want to, however, just give me a couple minutes.

COMING UP in the next chapter… Special training, Occlumency, and a revelation about Sirius. Please be patient with me on this one. I haven't even started it yet. Should be up in a week at most.

Again, if anyone is interested in the beta duties I mentioned at the top, please let me know via PM. Everyone else, please don't hesitate to review. I love hearing your thoughts!