Organization Cheese

A/N: Hello friends! Loyal readers! How are you on this fine morning? I, ilovefetamorethanyou, am having a lovely morning. Well, as I have nothing more to report (other than the fantastic deal I got on toothpaste yesterday), I shall leave you to indulge yourself in the world of Organization Cheese. Au revoir!

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Disney. (Wait what? No Gossip Girl in this chapter?)

Chapter 10: Laundry Duty

When they emerged from the dark portal, two comments could be heard:

"Whoa."

"So… beautiful…"

"Isn't it?" Cid asked, swiveling his head to look at Leon, the source of the compliment. Leon, however, was not talking about the ominous castle before their eyes.

"Hey, you naughty youngsters! Get your paws offa her, Leon!" Cid scowled, spitting his toothpick onto the ground.

Leon had his arms wrapped tightly around Yuffie and was currently whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Yuffie was blushing and giggling.

"Hey, it was dark in there, and Zexion interrupted our mushy romantic scene earlier," Leon retorted, releasing Yuffie from his grasp. Shrugging, he said, "I decided to take advantage of the situation."

"And I always thought you were cool," Cid said wistfully, shaking his head solemnly, "Now, here you are, being mushy. Ew."

The only response Leon needed to give in order to reaffirm his coolness was a casual hair flip.

"Ahem," Zexion interrupted, "Now, if I may welcome you to the mysterious, otherworldly, and invisible Castle d'Italia!"

"Is that homemade gouda I smell?" Yuffie exclaimed, sniffing.

"Yo, moron," Cid said, (meaning Zexion), "this castle ain't invisible."

"The two keys have been united and the gates officially unlocked. Therefore, the castle can now be seen with the ordinary eye, until the Keybearers seal Castle d'Italia away for another hundred years," Zexion explained, gesturing towards the looming structure.

"You talkin' 'bout Sora?" Cid asked thoughtfully.

"Yes. I am detecting his scent within the castle's lobby, as well as those of a few others," Zexion replied.

"Oooh is Riku with him? His hair is so silky and shiny and smooth and smells like cinnamon buns! Let's go meet them!" Yuffie jumped up and down excitedly.

"That is not our path. We shall be – "

"Hold on, hold on. More importantly: Yuffie, when did you get close enough to Riku to smell his hair?" Leon viciously interrupted Zexion.

"Gasp!" The scandaliciousness was even more dramatized by Cid and Zexion's innocent gasps.

"Uh… I… IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, LEON!" Yuffie cried.

"Yeah, I already know, Yuffie. You were stealing Riku's wallet to look at his ID to see his age, when you so casually stopped for a second to indulge in the marvelous scent of his oh-so attractive hair? And then when he turned around you planted a nice smooch, distracting him while you grabbed his wallet, WHILE you were on a date with Tidus?"

"Geez, Leon, didja have to put it so bluntly?"

"Uh-huh. Sorry, babe. Just say it." Leon turned away

"Aww… come on! So what if I like to toy with the hearts of the entire male cast of Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts? It's all in good fun… the one I really want is you, Leon!"

"Mmmhmm. Go steal someone else's heart."

"Okay, crowd! Let's get to Cloud now, shall we?" Zexion reminded everyone that this was NOT Final Fantasy: A Soap Opera.

"Good idea, man." Cid was already on his fifth toothpick since they popped out of the darkness.

"Hey… where are we, anyway?" Yuffie was quite eager to change the subject.

"As I said previously, outside Castle d'Italia" Zexion replied.

"Oh."

"We must enter via the back door," Zexion held up a silver key which seemed to be splattered with blood.

"Now that's not shady at all," Cid commented, still chewing thoughtfully.


Five minutes later, the quartet found themselves within the dark confines of the mysterious Castle d'Italia.

"So where's Cloud?" Cid asked, looking around. The room was bare.

Zexion merely pointed towards the ceiling.

"Up?" Cid asked.

"Yes," Zexion answered.

"Down?" Yuffie questioned.

"No."

"Right?" she asked hopefully.

"No."

"Left?"

"No"

"East Northeast?"

"UP, YUFFIE. HE SAID UP," Leon yelled, frustrated.

"Just checking."

Zexion began to lead them towards the staircase. Cid glanced at an arrow lit up in the distance as they passed.

"Hey, isn't that an elevator?" Cid questioned, pointing.

"Yes," Zexion answered, "Would you like to take it?"

"Sure – "

"NO!" Leon cried, throwing himself between the elevator and Cid. "It's too easy! It must be a trap!"

"I really don't thin– " Cid began, but was quickly cut off by Leon.

"You're right, you don't think," Leon lashed out, "Come on, baby, we're taking the stairs." He grabbed Yuffie by the hand and dragged her towards the staircase.


"So here we are, another mysterious staircase," Cid growled, "Now what?" he looked at Zexion. "How many are left?

"This is the 49th flight of stairs. Therefore, we have 51 left to go," Zexion answered calmly. Suddenly he stiffened. "I am detecting the presence of another Organization member on the floor above us."

"Who?" Yuffie wondered out loud.

"I am detecting Larxene's scent."

"What does she smell like?"

"Cheesecake tempura."

"Oh…"

"Larxene approaching," Zexion declared.

"ZEXION," a loud, female voice boomed, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO DO LAUNDRY?" A blonde woman in an organization cloak descended the staircase.

"Thirteen loads is a lot, Larxene. Don't forget that Demyx's woolen underwear, scarves, hats, and sweaters need to be washed separately in cold water, Naminé's whites always need to be partitioned and bleached, Axel's reds can't be mixed with Marluxia's pinks, and heaven forbid I shrink Axel's skinny jeans, and your silks need to be taken to the dry cleaner for special treatment, and I have to use special hypoallergenic laundry detergent on my cloak or I'll start sneezing constantly and break out in hives, and Roxas requires fabric softener during both the wash AND the dry in double doses to get that baby-soft feel, Xemnas's cloak needs to be starched and ironed to stiff, ominous, evil perfection, and if I dare mix up Xaldin's and Xigbar's preferred detergent scents I'll never hear the end of it, and Lexaeus – "

"Ok, ok, I get it. Whatev." Larxene waved lazily, "Could you just do me a favor please? Obliterate that horrible scent of cheese from this castle! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THAT WRETCHED STENCH!"

"Umm… I don't think you can do anything about that, Larxene. You and I are both aware of the… project that is taking place on the top floor…" Zexion explained shadily.

"Oooh, what project? Sounds fun!" Yuffie was easily excited.

"Yeah, Zexion, what project? I haven't heard about this!" Larxene remarked.

"Have you been to the top floor?"

"No, are you crazy? The scent only gets stronger as you go up!"

"Well, I can't say much to that. Journey along on your merry way now, Larxene, we've got some business to take care of. Meet you up there." Zexion flashed his dreamy, glamorous smile and started down the hallway, past her.

"FINE, but I'm taking the elevator!" Larxene shouted, obnoxiously.

Yuffie and Cid eyed each other, conveying a message. Leon and Zexion were oblivious to this, as they were already halfway down the hallway.

Just as a 'ding' rang out into the hallway and large reflective metallic doors opened, revealing an… office lounge (?), Yuffie and Cid dashed into it, before Larxene had the chance to protest.

This distinctive noise brought Leon and Zexion to attention as they turned their heads. Zexion jumped, taken aback. "NOOOO!" He started running toward the elevator, arm outstretched. "I CAN'T LET YOU FALL INTO LARXENE'S EEEVIL SCHEMES!" He ran past Leon, who after a glamorous hair flip turned and started running as well.


Back in the elevator, Larxene tried pushing the two characters back into the hallway. "Heyyy, you guys, get outta here!"

"No way, man!" Yuffie bashed the 'door close' button rapidly. "I'm not walking up another 50 flights of stairs!"

"You said it," Cid agreed, chewing happily on his toothpick now.

"YUUUUUFFIE!" Leon had run ahead of Zexion now, since he couldn't go too fast or else the cheese breeze would drastically alter his intricately positioned rock star hair.

"YUFFIE, DON'T LEAVE ME! TRAITOR! I LOVE YOOOUUUUU –"

"LEOOONN! RUN FASTERRR!"

The doors were closing slowly but steadily, however, and as Leon slid on the stone to try and catch the elevator, the metal shapes finally shut.

"Hey, babe. Lookin' good." Leon was admiring his beauty in the metal's reflection.

"Ah, nicely gelled, Mufasa, nicely gelled," Leon cosseted his hair, which he had deemed precious enough to name.

"…Wait a minute… eh! That slide must've rearranged my front two hanging side bang spikes! Ahh!" Leon scrambled to put them back in their proper order, and pulled a bottle of maximum hold 200% effective hair gel to make extra certain there would be no more hair malfunctions that day. To finish it off, Leon also pulled out a can of spray-on hair shine, and gave his head an extra three doses just to make it that much more dazzling.

"Want some?" he offered, turning to Zexion, who then held up a nicely manicured hand.

"No way, dude." He flipped his hair, and the light reflected off of it was practically blinding (Leon had to cover his eyes from The Dazzlement). "My hair is naturally shiny."