Maura

It was early Saturday morning. Sunlight streamed in through the window, Jo Friday was curled up at the foot of the bed, cheerfully napping after her morning walk, and Jane was curled up next to me, sleeping peacefully, with the corners of her mouth turned up in a faint smile, while I sat with my back propped up against the headboard of Jane's bed, stroking her hair.

I couldn't have imagined a more perfect moment if I'd tried.

I had Jane. Really, finally, truly had Jane. She loved me, I loved her, and even if we hadn't made love, had not, in fact, gotten past what Jane had called 'second base', the hours we'd spent holding, touching and kissing had done more to satisfy me that all of the lovers I'd had in the last few years combined.

It reminded me of the first few months with Ian, when I was still naive enough to believe it would last. But even that was a pale shadow. He and I were never connected the way Jane and I were. There was no long, and sometimes hard fought friendship, nothing built on bones we'd unintentionally broken, only to carefully nurse until they healed, stronger than before. Jane and I had spent years crawling so deep inside each others lives neither of us could tell where one of us began and the other ended.

I'd once told Jane that I'd been so in love with Garrett Fairfield that it felt like I'd taken a substance, and Ian had been the same, only more so. This felt entirely different. Jane wasn't a substance, she wasn't a quick high that would fade. She was fresh air, clean water and sunshine. Beauty and power and life.

I'm not one given to romantic notions, but that morning I couldn't help myself. Jane felt like forever. She had for so long, and we'd finally taken that last little step, the one I'd wanted so much, and been so convinced would never happen.

I was so proud, so indescribably proud of her for what she'd done. She'd faced up to something about herself that scared her. Risked everything that mattered to her. Her family, her friends, her ability to do her job. And she'd done it all, not because she expected a happy ending, not because she knew I'd be waiting for her at the end, but simply because it was the honest thing to do. Because it was the right thing to do for herself.

I was ashamed to admit how badly I'd underestimated her, doubted her bravery. I'd spent so long thinking she would never be able to face up to what she wanted that I'd almost talked myself out of the possibility of being with her.

I was also surprised to find that I'd misjudged what she'd be like in bed. I'd expected her to be fierce, and aggressive, perhaps because of her assurance that she'd be 'the guy' in a relationship with a woman, or maybe because she was so strong and bold in every other area of her life. What I'd found last night was a tender, somewhat shy lover. At times, she'd touched me so carefully I had wanted to promise her I wouldn't break, but I'd been too afraid of scaring her, or making her feel inadequate when the truth was that I'd wanted every kiss, every touch to go on forever.

Just sitting there with her, I felt overwhelmed by how lucky I was, and by how close I'd come to missing out. But I also felt slightly embarrassed and woefully unprepared. Jane was the first woman I'd ever really considered a relationship with, and I'd so thoroughly dismissed the idea that she'd ever be willing to be with me, that I'd ever bothered looking into the mechanics of the issue.

Of course, as a doctor, I was familiar with all the details of the human body, and as a woman, I had plenty of experience with what I personally found pleasing, but while I was sure I could please Jane, I'd never been one to settle for being adequate when I wanted to be exceptional. Fortunately, a lack of knowledge was something easily rectified.

I leaned over and fished my iPad out of my overnight bag and started making a list of appropriate reference titles on Amazon. If they were available, I went ahead and purchased electronic copies as well. The list quickly grew beyond just books on technique however. I added books on coming out, including several written specifically for parents dealing with their children coming out to them. Some of the titles also suggested certain accessories which might prove useful, and I spent some time researching to make sure I picked the highest quality items available.

I was just finishing up when a muffled groan let me know Jane was waking up.

"What time is it?"

"A little before eight."

"In the morning?" Jane grumbled, looking up at me. "What are you doing up this early?"

"I'm putting together a shopping list."

Jane gave me a look that I'd learned translated roughly as 'I can't believe those words just came out of your mouth'. "Really? Maura, we are not going shopping today."

I smiled at her. "Of course we aren't. I'm sending the list to my personal concierge."

Jane raised an eyebrow. "Your what?"

"Personal concierge. I found a service after the last time I had to arrange a formal dinner on short notice. They do all sorts of things. Meal planning, booking personal chefs, event tickets, travel arrangements, moving, cleaning, or in this case, shopping."

Jane sat up. "You pay someone to shop for you?"

"Yes."

"Doesn't that take all the fun out of it?"

"Normally, yes, but I'd rather spend the day with you."

Jane's face lit up. "I think that might be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."

I laughed and gave her shoulder a gentle shove. "Even better than 'I love you'?"

She grinned. "Come on, Maur. Anyone can say I love you, but you giving up an afternoon of shopping to spend time with me... It would be hard to find a jury who wouldn't take that as proof."

I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "You're terrible."

"On the cheek? Really?"

I raised an eyebrow, grinning at her. "You want me to do better, go brush your teeth. I know what kind of morning breath you get after pizza."

She laughed and got out of bed. "Oh, I see how it's gonna be. You know, some people wouldn't put up with your abuse."

I laughed again, as I sat back and started composing the email to the concierge service. I was still adding a couple of bottles of wine to the list when Jane came strolling back into the bedroom, with a mischievous grin on her face.

"So, this shopping list. Does it have any lingerie on it?"

I looked up at her as I thought about it. "No, but that's a good idea. I'll add your sizes to the email, and have them bring by a selection from La Perla and Claire Pettibone."

"But... I..."

"I don't like the athletic look, Jane."

"Fine. Maybe I won't..." her face fell. "Oh, no. That's not going to work, is it?"

"What?"

"If I cut you off, that means I won't get any sex either."

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "You're just figuring that out?"

She sat down on the bed, sulking. "I never cared that much before."

"Awww, Poor Jane." I leaned over and gave her the kiss I'd promised earlier. "Better?"

She smiled as she started scooting towards me on the bed. "Much." Without warning, she snatched the iPad out of my hands. "Now, let's see what's so impor- Oh, my God!"

"What?"

"You're paying someone to go out and buy..." Her face started to turn red. It was so cute, I couldn't help but tease her a little.

"Non-biological phallus shaped objects containing unbalanced battery powered electric motors?"

"God, Maura, you couldn't just say vibrating dildo, could you?"

"I suppose I could. That is, after all, the popular term for it."

Jane really was just adorable when she blushed.

She looked down at the list. "Okay, but how many do you need?"

"I wasn't sure which one you would like." She looked up at me, and I was surprised to see real distress on her face. "Jane, what's wrong?"

"I don't know how to... I mean, I've never been with a woman before, Maur. I don't want you to be disappointed, and all this stuff..."

I took the iPad away from her and took her hands in mine. "Jane, all of that stuff is because I want to make you happy. I'm as new to this as you are. In fact, I spent most of the morning doing research on how this works. I'm just as worried about being a disappointment as you, and some of what I read recommended those as a way to enhance the experience. I know how shy you can be about asking for things, and I just thought it would make it easier for you if it was available without you having to ask."

She smiled at me again, and I thought my insides were going to melt. "You really are amazing, you know that?" she asked. She glanced over at the iPad. "Can I ask a question."

"Of course."

"Why not just order all that stuff online?"

"Oh, the store is in Brooklyn, off Harvard Street. If I send the request in this morning, we could have everything on the list by six."

"Wow. You know, I could get used to having a rich girlfriend."

I smiled at her. "Should I send the list?"

She glanced over at the iPad for a minute, then looked at me. "It may all end up just sitting in a box somewhere my mother will never find it."

"If it does, I'm perfectly fine with that." I reached up and brushed her hair out of her face, before I leaned in for a kiss. "This is about us, and whatever makes us happy." I kissed her again. "We need to go over to my place today anyway. I'll have it delivered there. Your mother knows better than to go into my closet again after the shoebox incident."

"Can't we just stay in bed all day?"

I smiled as I leaned in to nibble on her neck. "You're the one who wanted to tell your mother about us."

She rolled her head back, moaning softly. "I could send a text."

I laughed as I reached up, cupping her left breast in my right hand. "You could," I said, nibbling on her earlobe, "but your bathtub isn't big enough for two. Mine is."

She let out a soft whimper. "I'll get my keys."

A/N Yes, I went there. Why? Because this is Maura Isles. The woman who wears a speed suit to play softball. Of course she would be shopping for 'accessories' the next morning. Jane's just lucky they don't make silk 'Out and Proud' blouses, or cashmere 'Here and Queer' sweatshirts.