Cross My Heart

Author's Note: Hi again! I know it's been over a week since I last updated, but life kind of got in the way. I have exams to prepare for in the next couple of weeks, so until Christmas holidays start, I can't guarantee rapid chapters. In fact, there is a good chance that I won't be able to update for the next two weeks. Sorry, but I have to pass school so I can go to college.

Anyway, this chapter is just some good ole' KandaChloe interaction. Don't like it? I don't care. It fits with the plot, so it stays!

Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter and all the previous chapters! I enjoy your comments and hope they'll continue coming!

Disclaimer: Chloe and the plot are mine. If I owned everything else, my life would be much better!


Chapter 12: Härteübung

Twack. Twack.

Kanda glanced over at the clock sitting on the bedside table. It was not five minutes past three in the morning, and Bellerose was already at it again.

Twack. Twack. Crack.

Having a room close to the training area was both a blessing and a curse, it seemed. Kanda let out a sigh and leaned back against the wall. Bellerose was just releasing stress, he told himself. Who in their right minds "released stress" at three o'clock in the morning?

Kanda knew exactly what was bothering the red-haired girl. Waking up to a self-created massacre, no matter that it was akumas, would disturb anyone no matter that two weeks had already passed since the incident.

Twack. Twack. Twack. Thud.

Kanda was already in the hallway before his mind even registered the fact that he was moving. His feet led the way to the training area, and he could hear a combination of heavy breathing and curses as the "twacking" started up again. The punching bag that had not gotten a lot of use in recent weeks had obviously become Bellerose's personal scapegoat judging from the streaks of blood covering the off-white canvas and the way it hung awkwardly from its chain. The Japanese exorcist silently made his way over and watched Bellerose.

The red-haired girl stared at the punching bag, as if it would suddenly come to life and start talking. Her face twisted into a scowl after a moment, and she launched into a furious salvo of punches and kicks. The attacks continued until the poor chain holding the punching bag up finally snapped after enduring many nights of continuous abuse. Chloe glared at the fallen punching bag. She must have really wanted to keep hitting it.

"How long do you plan on watching, Kanda?"

Kanda pushed off the pillar he had been leaning against and walked over to where Chloe was standing. She slowly turned until she was facing the Japanese exorcist as he approached. Her blue-green eyes stared straight through Kanda, past the training area, even past the Order itself. No matter how many times Kanda insisted that he had no emotions—that he didn't care about anyone—he couldn't stop the worry that filled his mind at Chloe's haunted expression.

He wanted to see the Chloe Bellerose that had tricked Allen out of his money, that had lied to Lavi, that had joked with him despite facing certain death. The girl standing before him was not the Chloe Bellerose that he knew. She was the broken teenager Chloe Bellerose was never meant to be.

"I'm a monster, Kanda."

Chloe stared down at her hands, just like she had done that fateful day. Emotions Kanda couldn't recognize played across her face until only shame remained, and the red-haired girl wrapped her arms around her thin body as if to conserve what little warmth she had left. She was trying to ignore the feelings plaguing her mind and losing miserably.

Kanda had never comforted anyone. His sole purpose in life was to fight, not to console. He couldn't die, but he couldn't feel either. He was the real monster, not her.

"Since when did you become such a weakling, Bellerose?"

Chloe flinched at Kanda's harsh words. Her gaze slid to the floor, but Kanda hadn't missed the flash of anger in her blue-green eyes. It was a bit of the old Chloe Bellerose breaking through the façade of the scared girl in front of him. He continued pushing.

"You said that you weren't going to let her take any more innocent lives, and here you are cowering in fear. Some protector you are!"

"Shut up."

Kanda smirked. Chloe's words were spoken in a voice barely above a whisper, but they were still firm. He was getting through.

"The Order doesn't need cowards. You should leave now while you still can."

"Shut the hell up!"

That had done it. Kanda couldn't help but wince as Chloe drove her arm into his throat with all her strength. He hadn't seen her move at all before he found himself pinned against the wall. Chloe's eyes were blazing with anger, and she glared at Kanda for a few moments before taking a deep breath and releasing the Japanese exorcist.

"I want to protect people. I'm not going to give up and leave," the red-haired girl said. "I just don't want to lose myself again. I couldn't take it if I hurt the people I cared about because I went berserk."

"You can't protect anyone if you can't trust yourself and everyone around you, Bellerose. And if you ever go berserk, I'll personally kick your ass until you come to."

Kanda nearly laughed after he said that. Such motivational words were out of character for him. However, the meaning was not lost on Chloe, and she cracked the first true smile Kanda had seen in weeks. The shadow that had fallen over her for fourteen long days was beginning to lift.

"I'd say thanks, but you wouldn't like that, would you Kanda?" Chloe asked as she turned to leave the training area.

"Che. Do what you want," the Japanese exorcist replied.

"Well, thanks for your help, Kanda-sama," the red-haired girl said with a smile.

She suddenly stopped and glanced over her shoulder at the Japanese exorcist.

"And thanks for trying to protect me from Charlotte. I don't know what I would've done without you, Kanda."

Kanda felt his cheeks growing warm and looked away. He was blushing like a hormonal teenager, not a battle-hardened exorcist. It was embarrassing!

"By the way, Kanda, I think you look really cute when you blush," Chloe added with a laugh.

Kanda glared and lunged towards the red head. Chloe had anticipated his move, and she was already halfway down the corridor before Kanda had even left the training area, leaving the Japanese exorcist fuming and flushing behind her.


The next few days were uneventful. No new missions were handed out, and even the Science Department wasn't as busy as usual. Well, until Inspector Leverrier returned from Central for the first time in a month.

Kanda noticed as he went about his day that Chloe had mysteriously "disappeared" when the inspector arrived, and he quickly found out the reason why.

"The inspector called me into Komui's office to follow up on my report about the latest mission," Lavi stated as he flipped through some volume Bookman wanted read by the next morning. "He was really interested in what happened to Rouge-chan."

Kanda frowned and lowered his chopsticks.

"What did you tell him?"

"I told the good inspector that Chloe took out the rest of the akumas and the Noah that attacked you, and that she ran over to help you afterwards, which was why she was covered in blood."

The Japanese exorcist was surprised. He knew Lavi embellished the truth at times, but the Bookman apprentice never lied about what happened during missions. It was like the boy was programmed to always tell the story exactly as it happened without adding extraneous details or leaving important facts out. However, Kanda decided that maybe his image of the red-haired boy was not as complete as he thought it was. But, those thoughts could be sorted out at a later time.

After talking to Lavi, Kanda found Allen and Lenalee, who both told him a similar story. If Leverrier was checking to make sure their stories corresponded with each other that meant the inspector knew the exorcists weren't telling the truth. The only ones the inspector hadn't met with were Kanda and Chloe, but it was only a matter of time before they were sought out for questioning as well.

Kanda made his way back to his room as the sun began to set. He had a feeling all of his usual haunts were being watched, and he didn't want to have to deal with Inspector Leverrier and his questions.

When the door was closed and securely locked behind him, Kanda flopped down onto his bed with a sigh. His abdomen still ached from his near-evisceration even after nearly three weeks, and deep breaths pulled at the slowly healing wound. Komui had been concerned when Kanda told him that the curse wasn't healing him as quickly as it should have been, and it was all Kanda could do to escape from the Science Department and its infernal tests. Kanda knew exactly why he wasn't already healed.

The curse would either heal him instantly or slowly. Rapid healing only occurred when he was facing off against Noahs or akumas alone, but his body was completely worn out by the process. The slow, steady healing rate was what Kanda truly preferred. It put no real strain on his body or the lotus, and, while he was in pain for a longer period of time, he didn't have to worry about his body shutting down from fatigue.

Kanda closed his eyes. He just wanted to curl up and sleep until his body was completely healed. Too bad fate didn't want to comply with the Japanese exorcist's wish.

At the precise moment Kanda managed to doze off, he heard a light knock on his door.

"Kanda, you in there?"

The Japanese exorcist remained as still and silent as possible. Lavi wouldn't dare try to open the door if he got no answer.

"Whatever, I'll leave it under your door."

Kanda heard a gentle rustle as something was shoved through the small space between the floor and the door. He waited until Lavi's footsteps had faded to get out of bed and knelt down in front of his door. The piece of paper the red-haired boy slid under the door was decorated with bunnies of all shapes and sizes, and Kanda contemplated ripping it up on the spot when he saw something scrawled across the bottom of the paper in Lavi's trim script.

"I found an interesting book that Yuu should look at. It's in the library's records section near the Bell to Cleo documents. It's got a picture of a rose on the cover, so it shouldn't be too hard for Yuu to miss. Have fun!"

It wasn't hard to see that Lavi was trying to leave a message for Kanda within the actual message, and the Japanese exorcist smirked after a moment. If it wasn't so out of character, he might've actually thanked the red-haired boy. He decided to let Lavi off the hook for using his given name in the note instead. That made things even.

Kanda headed for the library in search of the "book" Lavi wanted him to check out. The Japanese exorcist walked into the large, book-filled room a few minutes later and scanned the shelves for the section Lavi had mentioned. There was no sign pointing Kanda in the right direction, so he was forced to search the entire place until he found the records Lavi had mentioned. Kanda's frustration was about to explode when he finally found the right section and glanced around for the "book." As Lavi had said, the "volume" in question wasn't too hard to find, and Kanda silently approached the table where the "book" was currently sitting near the back of the library.

"Jeez, Bellerose, you've found a hell of a place to hide," Kanda murmured as he sat down at the table.

Chloe shifted slightly but didn't wake. Kanda could see dark circles underneath the red-haired girl's eyes, and her expression was pinched in a combination of pain and exhaustion. There were numerous papers and books lying on the table around her. In her left hand, Chloe loosely clutched a pen, while her right held a chipped black mug.

"Oh, I didn't know you were here too, Kanda."

The Japanese exorcist watched as Lenalee fussed over Chloe. After tiding up the books and papers, as well as removing the pen and the mug from the red-haired girl's hands, Lenalee sat down in the chair facing Kanda.

"According to Bookman, Chloe hasn't left the library at all since she came in yesterday evening," Lenalee said after a long silence.

Kanda glanced over at the sleeping red-haired girl. No wonder no one could find her.

"I'm worried about her, Kanda. Chloe hasn't eaten or slept much since we got back from the last mission, she won't tell Nii-san about what happened, and—,"

"Lenalee."

The Chinese girl stopped rambling at Kanda's soft command, and she let out a long sigh while brushing her short hair from her eyes.

"Kanda, you know what's bothering Chloe, don't you?" she finally asked.

"Why would I—?"

"Because you're the only person she really trusts here. You and I both know that."

Kanda scowled. He knew Lenalee was right, but he didn't want to agree with her statement. The Japanese exorcist glared at Chloe. The red head was too troublesome for her own good.

"Bellerose is Bellerose. She'll work it out on her own," Kanda stated. "Don't worry about her."

Lenalee grinned at the Japanese boy and got to her feet.

"Fine. I won't worry if you carry Chloe back to her room. Sleeping in the library won't help anyone."

The Chinese girl was out of the library before Kanda even fully comprehended what she had said. He scowled and stood up.

"You'd better thank me for this later, Bellerose," he murmured as he grabbed the red-haired girl's wrist.

Chloe weakly struggled in her sleep as Kanda pulled her out of the chair and slung her arm across his shoulders, and her blue-green eyes opened slightly. She glanced over at Kanda with a confused expression on her face as her eyes focused. Once the red head saw who it was, she stopped struggling and allowed her eyelids to slide shut. Her body visibly relaxed as she leaned against Kanda, and she willingly let the Japanese exorcist steer her down the hallways.

As Kanda made his way through the Order with Chloe in tow, he realized something very, very important.

He had absolutely no clue where Chloe's room was.

Kanda scowled but didn't stop walking. He had two options. One was to go ask Komui and risk getting caught by Leverrier. The other was to take the exhausted girl back to his room and hope she didn't kill him when she woke up. Kanda decided the second choice was the lesser of two evils despite threat of potential bodily harm, and quickly headed for his room.

The Japanese exorcist was eminently relieved to find the hallway empty when he made it to his door, and he wasted no time in ushering Chloe into his room and locking the door behind them. Kanda deposited the red-haired girl on his bed, removed her shoes, and let out a long sigh. This was not how he had planned on spending the night.

Kanda walked over to the window next to his bed and sat down on the wide windowsill. He made a point of not looking over at his bed as he watched the sun sink below the tree tops. It was bad enough that he had to bring Chloe to his room, and Lenalee hadn't said to wait on the red-haired girl hand and foot. Not that he would've done that anyway, had the Chinese exorcist asked.

As the moon took its place in the sky, Kanda could hear whispers coming from his occupied bed. Chloe tossed and turned for a good hour without waking, and she muttered under her breath in languages Kanda couldn't understand. He could make out a few words that happened to be spoken in English, but nothing the red-haired girl said made sense. Judging from the urgency in her soft voice and how rapidly she was breathing, Kanda knew that whatever Chloe was reliving in her dreams was not pleasant.

Another hour passed and Chloe suddenly fell silent. Her incessant movements ceased as well, and Kanda got to his feet. He approached the bed and glanced down at Chloe. Her face was pale, and heat radiated from her body. Kanda let out a sigh and located an old, worn out shirt he hardly wore anymore. He also grabbed a small red bowl Lenalee had insisted on giving him for his sixteenth birthday and walked towards the door. The Japanese exorcist made impressive time in gathering cold water from the communal bathroom on the other end of the hallway. After making sure the door was locked behind him, Kanda crossed his room and laid the bowl of water down on his bedside table next to his hourglass.

"I can't believe you got yourself sick Bellerose," the Japanese exorcist muttered while ripping his old shirt into long strips.

"I'm not sick," Chloe whispered as her eyes slowly opened.

"You have a fever, Bellerose," Kanda stated with a scowl. "Last time I checked, a fever equals sickness."

"Shut up."

Kanda folded one of the strips of cloth and dipped it into the water. He allowed it to absorb a good amount of the cold liquid before reaching over and placing it on Chloe's forehead. The red-haired girl shivered and went to remove the damp cloth on her brow, but Kanda grabbed her hand in mid-air. Chloe glared up at the Japanese exorcist and attempted to free her hand. Kanda's grip didn't falter, and the red-haired girl quickly gave up and turned her gaze to the wall. Kanda let go of Chloe's hand and quickly pulled the blankets over her before going back to his seat on the windowsill.

"Why are you helping me?" Chloe asked after a few minutes.

Kanda didn't know how to answer. He remembered asking Chloe the same question before, but he never got a straight answer from her.

"I'm doing it for Lenalee," the Japanese exorcist finally replied.

Chloe chuckled and glanced over at Kanda with a smirk.

"I didn't think you were so whipped, Kanda-sama."

Kanda kept his gaze firmly on the window, which only made the red-haired girl's smirk widen.

"I'm not whipped."

"Are you going to blush again?"

"Shut up, Bellerose. Aren't you supposed to be sick?"

"I'm not an invalid," Chloe said while sitting up.

She picked up the cloth that had fallen from her forehead and placed it in the bowl of water as she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" Kanda asked as Chloe got to her feet.

"Somewhere," the red-haired girl replied while taking a step towards the door.

Chloe staggered halfway to the door, and Kanda managed to catch her before she hit the hard floor.

"You're not going anywhere," the Japanese exorcist said while pulling Chloe back over to the bed.

"Oi, cabron, let me—," (1)

"You can't walk, Bellerose. Just shut up and sleep!" Kanda ordered.

Chloe stood fast and refused to lie down. Kanda gave the red-haired girl a light shove, but she dug her heels into the floor and glared up at him. The Japanese exorcist glared right back and waited for red head to make a move. When Chloe tried to run to the door a moment later, Kanda caught her wrist and pulled her backwards so she would fall onto the mattress. The plan would have worked perfectly if Chloe hadn't grabbed a fistful of Kanda's shirt and dragged him down with her as she fell.

Kanda raised himself up on his elbows after a second and glared down at Chloe. The red-haired girl stared back up at him with wide eyes, and a light flush covered her pale cheeks. Kanda noticed just how close he was to the red-haired girl and felt his face growing warm. Not only was his face mere inches away from Chloe's, his arms were on either side of the red-haired girl's head, and his right leg was sitting between Chloe's legs. Needless to say, they were in a very compromising position.

"I hate you, Kanda," Chloe murmured while turning her gaze away from him.

"Che. Just go to sleep. I'm not helping you if you collapse," Kanda said as he got to his feet.

Chloe quickly rolled over so her back was to the Japanese exorcist and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. Kanda stalked back over to the windowsill, and just as he sat down, he heard Chloe mutter a soft "Thanks, Kanda."

The Japanese exorcist let out a sigh and grinned slightly.

"You're welcome, Bellerose."


(1) Cabron - It's probably my favorite Spanish curse word. (It means "bastard") It also seems to be Chloe's favorite as well, since she calls Kanda one so much...

Härteübung - hardiness training (in German!)

There you have it. Even badass Kanda has a soft side. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you did, let me know, and if you didn't like it at all, I'd love to hear why. I'm off! :)