14. The king
Darkness.
He heard voices in the far distant. Loud, agitated voices.
Darkness. Cold.
Voices again. Who was it? What were they saying?
Darkness. Cold. Pain.
Burning, piercing pain spreading. Unbearable.
Darkness. Cold. Pain. Confusion.
What was happening? '….Miracle …. still alive ..…dragon's breath ….. no chance'
Who were they talking about?
Then….. calm and light.
Merlin felt aware of himself out of a sudden again. The pain that had overpowered everything had subsided a little. His eyes still closed he tried to make sense of what had happened. He shifted to be more comfortable. Pain immediately engulfed his whole body. He groaned.
'Just stay still.' Merlin's heart, battered and pounded as it was, missed a beat….and another one. His brain tried to process what he had just heard.
'Merlin!' There it was again. It could not be. How ….?
'Merlin!' A strong hand gripped his shoulder firmly, but gently at the same time.
Merlin had forced his eyes open to make sure that he had not been fooled by his ears.
'Arthur?' he whispered questioningly.
He stared at Arthur with wide eyes needing a moment to take in what he saw.
'Arthur!' He repeated in complete shock and surprise, a bit louder this time.
The bright light that surrounded them almost blinded him, but it was definitely Arthur.
'Am I dead?' He asked in confusion.
'Not quite, old friend. But so far you have done a pretty good job of getting there.'
Merlin was not sure whether this was good or bad news.
'What is this?' gesturing at the brightness that enclosed them.
'You are the one with magic. Surely you can figure it out.' There was slight sarcasm in Arthur's voice and a slight smile was playing around his lips. Merlin could sense that he was trying to cheer him up.
'Magic.' Merlin felt it more consciously now. 'We are surrounded by magic?'
'It is what 's keeping you alive at the moment.'
When Arthur saw Merlin's confused expression he explained further.
Merlin had been found by a passing knight. The sword was still wedged in his chest and he was bleeding profusely. Recognising the sorcerer the knight had raised the alarm. When Niniane arrived there was not much life left in Merlin. The blade was close to his heart and its magical properties had quickly done their damage. She had tried to use her magic, but the power of the sword had been too strong.
Then Gwen and Gaius had reached the lake. At the age of ninety Gaius hardly travelled anymore, but nothing would have kept him in Camelot when the news had come. Gaius and Niniane had slowly removed the blade from Merlin's body. Whatever they tried though, the bleeding would not stop. Gaius had quickly come to the conclusion why: the sword was forged by a dragon's breath. They knew what that meant.
'All we can do now is make him comfortable.' He had comforted Niniane. Against their expectations Merlin had clung on to his life throughout that night and the following day.
In the meantime the word of Merlin's condition had spread. Sorcerers had started to arrive at the lake of Avalon from all over the kingdom. They started holding a vigil by his side and chanted healing spells. As they grew louder and more intense something miraculous happened. All the magic they procured seemed to bundle together into a giant luminous ball that finally descended on Merlin to cover him completely.
Merlin looked at Arthur in astonishment. 'How do you know all this?'
First he hesitated, but then he simply said: 'I am always here, just like the breeze. I see and hear everything.'
'You saw me coming here all those years?' His blue eyes darkened with sorrow.
Arthur just nodded as he could not speak. Seeing Merlin appear year upon year at the lake had been heart breaking to watch and he had yearned so much to be able to tell him that he was there and could see and hear him.
'Why are you here now?'
'For someone almost dead you are asking a lot of questions.' There it was again, the banter. Merlin's mood lightened and he smiled despite the pain that crippled him.
'You needed me.' Three words that meant so much.
Merlin grasped Arthur's arm. 'Arthur. There are some things that I never explained to you.'
Arthur sat down next to Merlin. 'More revelations?' There was a bit of teasing in his voice.
'I must …..tell you.' Merlin had thought about this for so long.
And then it all poured out of him:
Uther's death, Dragoon and Dolma, saving Gwen from Morgana's magical clutches, poisoning the witch for the sake of Camelot, Mordred ….. there was so much Arthur needed to understand. And now, Merlin could finally put all the facts before him.
The king was very quiet when Merlin had finished. 'You did all this…. for me.' The immensity of what Merlin had done and sacrificed was overwhelming.
'And yet I could not save you in the end.' Merlin went through the anguish of losing Arthur all over again. His body was shaking with physical and emotional distress.
'Merlin.' Arthur spoke very softly now. 'Stop… Please.'
'You cannot take the blame for something that was foretold for centuries.'
Merlin lifted his head: 'You know about the prophecy?'
'The Once and Future King' Arthur nodded. 'I was told'
'The sidh?' Merlin knew his answer was right.
They sat in silence for a few minutes each lost in thought. They both felt the intense strength of the bond between them, the love between brothers that they had shared since the first day they had met. They were two sides of the same coin and the thought uplifted and reassured them.
Finally Merlin spoke again.
'There is one more thing…'
Arthur looked at him in a rather amused way: 'How many more secrets can one man have?'
'The dragons….' Arthur's face dropped. And so Merlin told his tale of Kilgarrah and Aithusa.
'A dragonlord, indeed.' Arthur mumbled. There was respect and admiration in his eyes. Of course Merlin beating the dragon at the battle of Camlan suddenly made much more sense. 'You are a man of immense power, Merlin.' And he felt humbled that Merlin had chosen to be his servant and friend rather than his enemy.
Merlin smiled. He felt relief and a sense of satisfaction. Arthur knew everything now and there were no more secrets between them. How long had he waited for this moment!
'The sword that hurt me…..Aithusa must have forged it.' Merlin wondered, unable to find a different explanation.
At the thought of his wound Merlin became conscious of it again and winced.
'It is time for you to go now.' Arthur squeezed Merlin's arm affectionately.
'Go where?' Merlin was slightly alarmed. 'Could I stay … a little longer?'
Arthur was shaking his head. 'There are so many who love you and still need you out there.'
'I will be here when the time comes.' Merlin's voice sounded determined, but he realized that his promise might be only wishful thinking on his part.
'I am counting on it.' Arthurs said hoarsley.
They did not need any more words. Their embrace was heartfelt and honest.
'Remember the breeze and you'll know I am here.' were Arthur's last words before he disappeared into the light.
Darkness.
'There is possibly one thing that might save him.' Gaius did not sound too hopeful though.
