Chapter 12: All Is Not Forgotten

by buffygirl52789

Dawn's POV

I don't know how I managed to sleep through everything, but I did. All I know is that when I woke up today, I knew exactly who I was. When I ran out to share the good news with Buffy, I found her comforting a crying Willow while Faith slept on the couch. Giles took me aside and explained what had happened. I refused to believe it at first about Tara, but then I went up to her room and all of her favorite things were gone. She didn't even say goodbye to me. She's just gone.

And it's all her fault. I don't know why Buffy's comforting her. She did this to herself, she drove Tara away by using too much magic and we all know it. Tara deserved better and now she's gone. Am I ever going to see her again?

Xander and Anya seem to have disappeared. Three guesses what they're doing. Angel's just sitting in the living room staring out the window. Giles said he's going to take Faith back to LA when the sun goes down. Once again he's doing what he does best: leaving. And now that all of this is over, Giles is probably leaving too.

Why does everyone keep leaving me?

I think I might have liked it better when we didn't know who we were. At least we all stuck together.

Willow's POV

I didn't know it was possible to hurt this much.

She's gone. She's really gone. And it's all my fault.

I'm not sure how this happened or when it started, but I know it got out of control. I knew that the magic was taking more and more power over me, but I did nothing to stop it. I even embraced it, and I'll admit, for a while it felt so good. But now it just feels dirty.

I finally pull back from Buffy, wiping my eyes. She stares at me with sympathy, despite everything that had just happened, everything I had put her and everyone else through. I don't deserve her either. "It's done. I'm finished," I said with as much resolve as I could muster. "No more magic."

Buffy nodded solemnly. "I'm glad you see that now."

I rise to my feet shakily, needing all of my strength to move. I can still feel the after-effects of the spell, the raw energy still running through my veins. I might talk a big game, but I know that I have a long battle ahead if I want to quit. You can't just stop something like this cold turkey. But I know I have to try. For Buffy, for Tara, and most of all for myself.

My eyes find Faith, still sound asleep on the couch. "T-tell her I'm sorry," I manage to say, knowing that I couldn't face her myself.

"I will," Buffy replies.

I glance at Angel for a second before turning my eyes back to my best friend. "I think I'm going to go lie down." I think about apologizing, but I can tell from the look in her eyes that nothing I could say could even begin to make up for the past few days. So I just turn and head up the stairs, unable to see through my tears.

Buffy's POV

Willow leaves and it's just Faith, Angel and I in the room. I glance out the window and see that the sky is starting to darken. In an hour or so it will be sunset, and Angel and Faith will leave for LA. The feeling of dread that I have come to associate with saying goodbye to him starts up in my stomach.

"Are you okay?" he asks quietly, breaking the heavy silence.

I consider that for a moment. "I don't know." I walk slowly across the room, sitting down in the chair next to him. "I don't think anything is ever going to be the same again," I admit out loud. No one had come out of these past few days unscarred. I realize that I haven't seen Spike since he had encouraged me to leave Faith in her altered condition. He's probably down in the basement, sulking. Part of me wants to go after him, but that would mean giving up a few of these precious moments I have left with Angel.

"Willow has a long road ahead of her. It's not going to be easy to give up magic when she's become so dependent on it," he says warily.

"I'll help her. We all will," I say, more confidently than I feel. "We'll help her get through this."

"Is Dawn okay?" he asks, concerned.

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "Dawn and Tara were very close. She's probably really pissed at Willow right now. But she's just a kid. She doesn't really understand."

"All she knows is that someone she cares about left her. She's bound to take it a little personally," Angel rationalizes.

I nod, thinking of Dawn upstairs in her bedroom all alone, probably hating the world. "I should go talk to her."

He hesitates, and I wonder if maybe he wants me to leave the room about as much as I do. In the end he doesn't say anything and we just sit in silence.

"I never really got to thank you. For coming, for everything. I definitely owe you one," I said sincerely.

"Nah, you don't owe me anything. Sure, this was all a little more than I'd bargained for, but I would do it again in a heartbeat." He grimaced. "Sorry, poor choice of words."

I think back to the kiss we had shared less than 24 hours ago, and all of a sudden a question comes to my mind, something I'd been contemplating ever since our memories had returned. "It's weird," I blurt out suddenly. He looks at me expectantly. "Well, I mean, this whole thing has been weird...but what's really weird is that even when I couldn't remember my own name...I remembered you."

His eyes meet mine. "Yeah. Weird."

Deep down I know the answer. Maybe Angel is such a part of who I am that even the most powerful spell can't truly make me forget him. Maybe we share such a connection that it can never be broken. But it can never be anything either. At least not in this lifetime. Just longing glances, semi-awkward moments, stolen kisses, and memories. Memories. I had never really realized how important they were until I didn't have any. It's given me a kind of new appreciation for things.

We sat there together in silence as we watched the sun set through the window. Even after it was dark he lingered for a few minutes. Finally, he looked at me, his eyes sad.

"It's time," I say flatly.

He stands up slowly. "I wish I didn't have to leave."

"But you do," I finish. I'm used to this by now, so why does it still hurt so much?

"I'll call when we get there. And I'll let you know how Faith is," he continues, making small talk to avoid the words we both know are imminent.

"Are you going to take her back to jail?" I ask unnecessarily.

He nods. "She's still dangerous. It's really the best place for her."

I glance at her, still sleeping. When she's asleep she looks so innocent that it's almost unbelievable that she's capable of so many horrible things. "Do you think she'll give you any trouble?"

"I can handle her," he reassures me.

I nod. "Are you going to wake her up?"

He glances at her, considering. "Depends. Do you want to say goodbye?"

I remember that Faith had broken out of jail to kill me, and decide that maybe things would be best if we skipped the farewells. "I think it would be best if I didn't."

"I agree," he says. We stand there for a moment just staring at each other. These final moments before we go our separate ways are always the most awkward, because it's a judgement call of knowing if a goodbye kiss would be too much to handle, or if just a long look is best for everyone. Before I even realize what's happening he closes the distance between us, puts his hand around my neck, and kisses me on the lips. The kiss is short-lived, but still intense. He pulls away before things can get out of control and we look at each other for another moment before he turns around and gently picks Faith up off the couch. I wordlessly go to the door and hold it open for him as he exits, giving me one last sad look before heading down the sidewalk and to his car. He places the still-sleeping convict in the passenger seat before climbing in and starting the engine. I stand on the porch and watch until the headlights disappear.

Instead of going back inside, I sink down and sit on the steps. It's a nice night. I probably should patrol, but right now I don't have the energy. I briefly wonder what everyone else is doing. Xander and Anya have probably found a quiet corner in the house and are doing things I'd rather not think about. Spike is most likely sulking in the basement. Dawn is probably upstairs in her room, wondering how everything got so messed up. And Willow...oh, Willow.

I lean against the railing as it occurs to me that just before this whole mess had started, Giles had announced he was leaving. Although it was possible recent events had caused him to change his mind, it was still unlikely. He'd said it himself: I need to learn to take care of myself. With him here it was too easy to pass off responsibility. I was on my own now.

Faith's POV

Where the hell am I?

I feel the cool night air blowing against my face, and there's a wicked crick in my neck from falling asleep in some weird position. I reluctantly open my eyes. It only takes a minute to realize I'm in a car, apparently on the highway. I shift to a more comfortable sitting position and turn to look at the driver. Angel is staring straight ahead, probably thinking about her, since that's all anyone ever seems to do. After a minute he turns his head and notices that my eyes are open. "You're awake," he states.

"Where are you taking me?" I demand, although I already know the answer.

"I'm taking you back where you belong." I see us pass a sign that says 'Los Angeles- 40 miles'.

"So that's it, then? I show up and try to kill your girlfriend, get some weird curse put on me by Willow, who seems to have grown a pair since I left, and you just throw me in the car and drive me straight back to jail as soon as I fall asleep?" I pull my legs up on the seat, not caring that the dirt on my shoes is probably going to get all over the upholstery.

He's quiet for a minute. "Do you remember what happened?"

I do. It's all a little fuzzy, but I remember getting my memory back...and crying and complaining to everyone about how Buffy always wins. Great. That must have made quite the impression. "Yeah, but I kind of wish I didn't." A thought occurs to me. "Why didn't you tie me up or something? What's stopping me from jumping out of this car right now?" We're going at least seventy miles an hour. No normal person could survive that, but a slayer could, and walk away with a bounce in her step.

"I suppose nothing," he admits casually. "But considering how well things went last time, I don't really see what you plan to accomplish."

I hate to admit it, but he has a point. Suddenly the overwhelming urge to just go back to sleep threatens to overcome me, and I doubt that I would even have the energy to throw myself from the moving vehicle. "They probably won't be too happy to see me back at the big house. What's the punishment for breaking out these days?" I say icily.

"You know, I remember a day when you turned yourself in. You were on the right track." He stares at me curiously. "What happened?"

I don't know, guess I just realized that having absolutely nothing to do but think about how that bitch screwed me over for 2 years made me a little anxious. I clear my throat. "Guess I just couldn't get over it. Forgetting isn't easy, you know."

It takes him a minute to respond. "No. I suppose it's not." I curl up on the seat and stare out into the night as we drive along in silence.

The End

A/N: We finally did it! I would like to take a moment to thank all of the wonderful guild members who took the time to contribute to this story: kittybeenbad, vanillagigglez, buffyfan32578, deliriouskris, jamiesgotagun15, and Tara Summers. I think we've created another fic to be proud of. And finally, thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed, I hope you enjoyed as much as we did.