Chapter XII: Everything is Downside-Up!
Alice let out a yelp of surprise, as a sudden jolt hit her. Her ragged undergarment seemed to grow larger and larger, and she nearly dropped her mushroom pieces.
If I keep shrinking at this rate, I'll disappear altogether!
Dropping the piece she'd bitten, she hefted the other piece up in both arms and hurriedly took a bite.
There came another jolt, and she found herself rising higher. Alice Kingsleigh let out a sigh of relief...
Then a stunned gasp as she continued to grow...
Up, up, up she went! Higher and higher! Branches and twigs snapped and whipped around her, and more than one leaf found its way into her mouth, only to be quickly spat out again.
Unfortunately, and needless to say, the undergarment did not survive the sudden growth spurt.
SHHHHHRRRRRRKSH!
Alice blushed a deep, violet-red, a shade that would have made a beet look like the White Queen's shawl. Her head poked out above the treetops, and she was glad the branches and leaves were about her. Her hair looked like a blonde, unkempt bush by this point, and a nest had found its way onto her shoulder.
A nest holding a cluster of eggs...and a very upset pigeon.
"EEK!" the pigeon shrieked, and let out a warning, avian hiss. "BACK! BACK, SERPENT! BACK!"
"S-serpent?" Alice stuttered.
"SERPENT! SNAKE! AS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW! BACK, I SAY, AND KEEP AWAY FROM MY EGGS!"
"I'm not a snake!"
"Sure, you aren't. And I'm the Knave of Hearts! SERPENT! SERPENT! SERPENT!"
In her fury, the Mother Pigeon began to fly around Alice's head in circles, beating at her with her wings and trying to scratch her. Alice shut her eyes tight, letting out an indignant groan and trying to shake the pigeon away with her right hand. (She didn't dare move her left, for fear of upsetting the nest on her shoulder.)
"Leave me alone!"
"SERPENT!" the Mother Pigeon screamed, and then went on to herself, "Ooh, how I loathe them! No matter what I try, there's no getting away from them!"
"Wh-wh-what are you talking about?"
"Oh, please," the pigeon hissed. "Don't insult my intelligence! I've tried everything I can think of: roots, banks, hedges...as if it wasn't enough trouble laying and hatching my little eggs, it seems I cannot escape from those snakes! I haven't slept in seven weeks!"
"I see," Alice said sympathetically. "I'm so sorry you've been annoyed."
"Annoyed, indeed! If they aren't trying to eat my eggs, they're trying to swallow me! It's MADDENING!"
So I can see...
"And NOW," the Mother Pigeon went on, "just when I've taken the tallest branch in the tallest tree in all of the Tulgey Wood, and just as I begin to think I'm free of them...!"
She sniffed snootily in Alice's direction.
"But I am not a serpent."
"Oh, indeed? Well, what are you, then?"
"I...I'm just a little girl..."
Realizing the irony in this response, Alice blushed again. The pigeon let out a shrill cackle of laughter.
"Little? LITTLE? Oh, now, THAT'S a good one! And I suppose you'll say that you don't eat eggs next?"
"Well...actually, yes, I have eaten eggs..."
The pigeon hissed again and resumed her attack.
"But I'm not hungry right now!" Alice almost shouted, trying to shoo the angry bird away again. "Besides, even if I was, I only eat chicken eggs, and I don't like them raw!"
The Mother Pigeon stopped briefly, eyeing Alice skeptically for a few moments, before letting out a huff of frustration and then settled down in her nest.
"Well, then, put my nest back, and be off with you!"
"With pleasure," Alice muttered, and did as the pigeon asked. Then she looked down, blushing even deeper.
Finally she saw what she was searching for: the mushroom piece she had dropped. It was barely the size of a baby's fingernail, and she very carefully reached down and picked it up between a finger and a thumb and licked it gently.
THOOP!
She found herself back to her normal height...and still stark naked.
Thankfully, she was behind a bush.
Well, now what...?
As if in answer, she felt a rough hand tap her on the shoulder. With a pitiful, wordless squeak of fright and embarrassment, she turned around.
There was nobody there.
But a blue dress and a lovely white apron were before her, along with stockings, striped in black and white, and black pointed shoes, along with a red hair ribbon.
Just like what I wore when I first got here.
Alice touched the dress lightly.
Someone must have found my dress and cleaned it...no...this isn't the same material...it's brand new! Someone made me a new dress!
Without another thought, the little girl hurriedly put her strange (but much appreciated) gift on. She straightened her hair as best she could and exited from behind the bush.
"Whoever gave me this," she called out. "If you are still there...thank you."
No reply.
Alice put the pieces of mushroom in the pockets of her apron (just in case) and closed her eyes. Having long lost any sense of direction, she used the same method she had used to pick which mushroom piece to nibble to decide on which direction to go.
...8...9...10...Left it is!
