Voyagers!: Tunnels of despair and tracks of hope

Chapter 12

Voyagers Headquarters – Present day

After a filling breakfast, Jeffrey and Phineas roamed the complex around Voyagers Headquarters. Phineas pointed out his old classes and other places of interest like the gym, grand library, and science and computer labs. He excitedly demonstrated to Jeffrey the equipment in one of his favorite areas–the cosmic training sector. It was where they simulated flights to prepare Voyagers for time barrier breaking trips through space. Jeffrey tried a few simulations and joked that he got pushed straight into the deep end.

As lunchtime approached, Jeffrey suddenly realized that Phineas had avoided giving him a tour of the most important sector–The Omni Control Center. While certain areas were restricted, Bobby Peters would've gladly bypassed the rules and showed them around the facility. Jeffrey decided to take action and wandered off in that direction while Phineas found himself subtly and discreetly flirting with Voyager Susan as they passed the courtrooms.

"If you want me, Bogg. You probably know where to find me." Jeffrey called out. "I want to see where it all happens, the omni room."

"Yeah, sure. Go on ahead. I was saving the best for last." He sighed and waved him off, and then stared longingly at Susan. She gave him her famous serene and mysterious smile and rubbed his arm.

"Phineas, go see him, it's been a long time. He's one of your best friends and he cares about you. He was your Shadow, your observer. But he was much more than that. You know how much he helped you."

"The man saved my life twice, maybe more! So of course I know, I'm just…"

"Embarrassed? Over what? You've done nothing wrong."

"You're always so clever, Susan. When I first came here, Bobby tried to help me come to terms with certain things about my past, but I didn't listen. I can just hear him now telling me it's coming back to bite my as…ah, uh, tuba!"

Susan smiled gently. "We all have rough spots in our past, Phineas. Some much more painful than others, I know I do. But we don't have to succumb to them our entire lives. Our lives have a true meaning now and that's what drives us forward. A friend once told me in Rome, a farmer doesn't put his hand to the plow only to look back on the things behind, he keeps moving forward."

"That's very true."

"She and others like her were persecuted and harassed and ultimately torn apart by lions from the Romans. From my people and their brutal ways." Susan replied, her eyes shining. "All because they had a strong faith…they had a true purpose, and so do we. Our endurance is what keeps us strong."

Phineas leaned against the door jamb, mesmerized by her eloquence. He desired to kiss and comfort her when he saw how saddened she became. He refrained when he noticed some council members reviewing court notes at their judge's chairs. A display like that could turn into grounds for dismissal from his field duties.

"I agree with that. I know endurance kept me alive. All right, I'm going. Maybe we can have dinner tonight, just the two of us?" He winked.

Susan kissed his cheek. "That sounds lovely, but I think by later today you'll be back out in the field. That's your gung-ho nature, Phineas. You can't fight it. Can I give you a little more advice?"

"Anything, Susan. You've already made me feel ten times better."

Susan grinned. "Go back to early 1904, find Francesca, make sure she connects with Dominic on a romantic level and never let her out of your sight so you can discover the meeting place of the faction. In fact, the OCC just enhanced their Chronological GPS system. Did you get the name?"

"Yeah, umm, the Un-Gilded faction, I believe. I remember that jerk Thomas raving about it when I had him in a headlock in the subway."

"Perfect. Once they type enter it in the system it will draw up any information regarding their whereabouts and practices."

Phineas gaped at her. "You're kidding me?"

"No, sir. And you always thought VHQ was an ineffective organization." She chided.

Phineas shrugged. "Well, that's because I didn't understand more than half of it. You think a seventeenth century peasant kid from a muddy peat bog is gonna know the concept of a computer, let alone a GPS tracking device?"

Susan playfully shoved him away. "If a slave-girl from Ancient Rome can learn, so can you."

Phineas chuckled and made his way down the hall. "You got me on that one, Susan. Thanks for all your help."

"Any time, Phineas. I'll definitely take a rain-check on that dinner date."

"You definitely got it."

~Oo~

Phineas bustled through the control room, he chatted with some of the staff, and finally came in front of Bobby's office door. He put his ear to it and heard Jeffrey's voice. The door slid open and Phineas stumbled inside.

"Don't forget our high range of security systems here, Phin. I saw ya on the camera, mate. Caught yourself in the nick of time. Welcome back ya old bloke!"

"It's good to see you too, ya big Aussie!"

Bobby rushed over and embraced him. Phineas was filled with an overwhelming feeling of warm nostalgia. As he pulled away, his gaze caught Bobby's desk and he noticed the green file. Phineas looked at Jeffrey and then realized why he'd pressured him with all the questions about his past.

"What is this? Jeffrey, you lied to me when I asked why you wanted to know about my past. He's been telling you everything, hasn't he?"

Jeffrey looked at his sneakers. "Yes. I wanted to know and Bobby wanted me to know."

"Jeffrey, I can't believe you'd betray me like that!"

Bobby stepped between them. "Now hold on a minute, Phin. It was my decision to tell the boy, I felt it was vital since your outburst. He has a right to know your history just as much as you have a right to know his."

Phineas paced beside the window that overlooked the rich valleys beyond the Headquarters. It was as if they were on planet earth itself, though a far less populated earth–cleaner, brighter, and purer.

"Vital? It's the past! It's dead and gone. That was my personal business and for me to tell, not you, Bobby!"

Bobby closed the file firmly. "Phineas, normally I would've let you tell him, but in this case, I did what I thought was best. You said it yourself in your nervous breakdown. You claimed you killed a man. What is Jeffrey supposed to feel about that? How is he supposed to view you? I told him so I could clear the air."

Jeffrey hurried to his partner's side. "Bogg, it's true. He defended you. He told me that regardless of what happened you were a wonderful Voyager and a truly great man and dear friend. Don't prove him wrong."

"Let me guess, he gave you the old, diamond in the rough nonsense." Phineas grumbled.

Bobby stared calmly at him. "Actually, it was the pearl in a clam, Olivia was a diamond in the rough, Drake's the one bad apple, and Susan is a rose among weeds."

Phineas suddenly laughed, feeling less irritated. "You and your cornball analogies! You must have a book of them."

"They work every time and I do have tons." Bobby said proudly.

Phineas rubbed his forehead and slid into a chair. "I'm sorry for keeping this from you, Jeffrey. I think now that you know, you can understand why I don't talk about my family." His eyes clouded with tears.

"I feel terrible, Bogg. All this time I keep talking about my parents and how great everything was and you never said a word. You suffered so much from your parents."

"Don't ever feel bad. I love hearing about your life, Jeffrey. It makes me feel good. You knew all this about me last night, but you came and hugged me, told me…told…" His voice cracked. "You told me you loved me and that I wasn't useless and worthless."

Bobby felt a pang of sadness staring into the same lost, round eyes–defeated momentarily–but still alive with hope. The eyes he stared into when he found young Phineas battered on the rocks and half dead.

"Because you aren't worthless, Bogg! I was saying the truth. I think…no, I know I'd be lost without you." Jeffrey hugged him. "The Voyagers would be too. You've done so much for everybody, all the adventures we've had and the people we've helped. Think of them."

"I do, Jeff. All the time. But I didn't do it alone. I have the greatest partner in the world."

Phineas shared a meaningful glance with Bobby. In Jeffrey's Shadow report, it was discovered that Jeffrey had planned all along to run away from his aunt's home. However, his decision eventually led him to a life of crime, drugs and within fifteen years, catching a horrible disease and dying alone in a shelter in New York City. They needed an immediate intervention for that night, the same night Phineas crashed into his room. It was Bobby who made the final decision to send Phineas, though the Voyager had no idea that he was chosen for the job of rescuing candidate Jeffrey Jones from a sordid and miserable life.

Phineas patted Jeffrey's back. "I know people call me modest, and I don't expect praise, but sometimes…just a little, I need to hear those things. Every so often despair in the back of my mind threatens to consume me. I can hear my father's insults and cruel words. And my mother, how she just stood there and let him hurt her children, telling us that we probably deserved it half the time. I can understand her pain now, how she was powerless to stop him even if she tried. There were times she did, but it honestly wasn't enough. She was just as embittered as he was toward us. I can forgive her, I can even forgive him. But after all this time, I can't forgive myself for what I did and for leaving Emilie."

Jeffrey rubbed Phineas' shoulders, realizing how much courage it took him to admit those things. He wished there was just one word he could say that would take all of his pain away, but true comfort often involved silence, and a listening ear. Before Phineas came into the room he and Bobby had been discussing an idea he had, and now he was determined to see it through.

Phineas bent over and rubbed his hands on his face. The relief that flooded him was immense and when he rose up, the tension, fears, and anger were gone. His mind felt clear.

"I'm ready to go back, Bobby. I'm ready to save the subway system and Francesca and I promise I won't fail."

Jeffrey took his arm. "We won't fail."

Bobby shook his head, but smiled. "You are two of the most resilient Voyagers I've ever seen. I have to admit, a lot of these blokes here get lazy, but not you boys. All righty then. Let's get on the GPS and track these goons down!"