Chapter 12
Tim saw Gibbs striding back across the base toward their barracks. He swallowed and increased his pace. It wouldn't do to be late for a deserved dressing down. The run had calmed him down and he could acknowledge that he'd gone off mostly without cause. It was the same kind of ribbing that always happened. He just took it too personally. Hopefully, Gibbs would accept that he knew he had been wrong. Little fights happened all the time. No reason to send him back. He'd even apologize to the guy if necessary...and mostly mean it.
He went into the barracks.
"Gibbs, I flew off the handle. I know it. I shouldn't have lost my temper."
"Forget about that, McGee," Gibbs said, looking more serious than Tim had ever seen him. "We have a much bigger problem. The brass knows that you lied."
"Oh." Tim felt his heart sink. It had seemed like the only possible option at the time, and he had hoped that his story was enough like what had really happened.
Obviously not.
"Lied about what?" Tony asked.
"We have a big problem here, McGee."
"What's that, Gunnery Sergeant?"
Gibbs looked frustrated.
"Why do you always do that?"
"It's better not to maintain the illusion of camaraderie when you are my commanding officer, Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs. Then, I don't get taken by surprise if you decide to send me back. Gunnery Sergeant."
"What's going on?" Tony asked.
"This a lot more serious than that," Gibbs said. "They're talking court martial and, in a time of war, if you're convicted, you could be executed as a traitor. This goes way past worrying about going back to the world."
Tim swallowed.
"You have a chance here, McGee. You tell me what really happened and maybe, depending on what the truth is, you'll have a chance of getting out of this alive. Maybe."
"Yes, I lied, Gunnery Sergeant."
"And stop calling me that, McGee!"
"May I sit down?"
Gibbs rolled his eyes and gestured.
"Is someone going to tell me what's going on?" Tony asked, impatiently.
"McGee is going to tell us both. Right now. Aren't you, McGee?"
"I lied. I wasn't behind the others when the landmine went off. I was ahead of them."
Tony laughed a little. "That's it?"
"Why were you ahead?" Gibbs asked.
"Because we weren't running from an ambush. I was running from them."
Tony furrowed his brow. "Why were they chasing you?"
Tim took a deep breath. "They were going to kill me to keep me from getting back to base."
He saw Tony look at Gibbs. Just saying that wouldn't be enough, of course. They wouldn't want to believe him. He was going to have to tell the whole story. The story that he had hidden and had tried to pretend had never happened. His first meeting with Ziva.
"Why, McGee?" Gibbs asked. "Might as well tell us everything."
"Don't have much choice, do I?"
"No, you don't."
Tim cleared his throat. "It started as a regular recon assignment. We'd had a few skirmishes and beat the VC units back pretty handily. No casualties, but it meant that we were all on edge. We were making our way through some heavy elephant grass and it was raining. Like it always is."
As if it had happened just yesterday, not more than a year ago, Tim could see the whole horrific event again.
The moment when he had seen men turn into monsters.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"How much longer will we be in this stuff?"
"Rain, grass, leeches. How much better can it get?"
"There's someone in the grass! Catch him! Get the little gook!"
They surged into the grass and dragged their resisting captor back. Sergeant Larson took one look and started to laugh.
"It's a woman, you idiots!"
"They use women, too."
"Well, then, kill her and get it over with. We need to get back."
Tim looked at the woman. She had a petite build and a mass of frizzy hair which had been pulled back into a manageable ponytail at one point. And when she looked at him, he noticed her frightened eyes.
"Wait! Sergeant, wait."
"What, McGee?"
Tim swallowed. He didn't draw attention to himself generally. He didn't like to remind them of how much they didn't want him there.
"She's not Vietnamese."
"No, I am not!" she said very quickly. "I am not your enemy!"
The others looked at her and laughed again.
"You're right. A round-eyed woman. About time. I'm tired of seeing all these zits running around. Sarge...may I make a suggestion?"
Larson looked at him and then at the woman who was struggling to get away from the two men holding her.
"She's pretty feisty, Sarge."
"No," Tim said. "She's not one of them, and she hasn't done anything. Just let her go."
"We have no guarantee that she's not part of the NVA or VC. Commies are everywhere. She just looks different. The zits all look alike."
"We're ahead of schedule. Why should the Americals be the only ones who get to benefit? We take more risks than the soldiers."
"And she's here and willing."
Tim looked around at the other squad members. It was like they'd suddenly been replaced by aliens.
"Why should soldiers have all the fun?"
Tim thought that he and the woman came to the same conclusion at the same time. She started to struggle to escape even more and started to beg them to let her go. She got in a good kick right in the groin and got a punch to the face that left her dazed. Tim tried to stop them.
"No! You can't do that! This is not what we're here for!" he said.
"Oh, come on, McGee. No one will know. You want to go last? You can even do the honors." Larson laughed. "You'll be a double veteran."
"No. Have you guys gone completely crazy? This is wrong!"
One of them tried to grab hold of Tim, but he fought them back, drove the butt of his rifle into the gut of one of the men holding her, wrenched her away from the other and then stood in front of her, aiming his rifle at his own team. He couldn't believe what was happening.
"Get out of here," he said to her.
"But..."
"Look...just get out of here. Now. Don't wait to see what they're going to do next. Go."
He looked at her for just a moment and tried to emphasize how important it was that she got away. She gave him one last look and then plunged through the grass, out of sight.
"Traitor, McGee."
"You're the traitors. You're betraying who we're supposed to be! We don't kill women and children!"
Larson looked at the others and then at Tim.
"So...how determined are you to fire that gun, McGee?" he asked.
Tim wasn't determined at all. He just wanted to get the woman away. She was. He stood down.
"He'll make a report when we get back. The jinx will get us all court martialed. Nothing will happen to him...just like with everyone else."
Tim looked at them. That ugly look was still in their eyes. He couldn't honestly say that he'd never say anything about what happened.
"Maybe he should have the bad luck for once," Larson said. "Instead of raining it down on the good guys...I think that he's going to be the only casualty of a sudden ambush."
Tim didn't wait to give them a chance to do that or let cooler heads prevail. Larson was the sergeant, but he was going along with it. He was up for promotion and he'd be getting back to the world soon. He wouldn't let Tim ruin that. He wouldn't let anyone ruin that.
Tim threw a punch and hit Larson right in the face. Then, he plunged ahead of his team and started to run. The others were right on his heels, but he kept up a fast enough pace that they couldn't get a clear shot at him.
"Get him! Kill the little–"
That was as far as he got. Suddenly, there was an explosion and Tim was thrown forward onto his face in the mud and rain. He got to his feet and turned around.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"A landmine. I'd run through that exact same spot. Didn't have anything happen to me. One of them stepped on it. They were all in a group. Sergeant Larson was dead instantly. Most of the others were, too. The one closest to me and the one furthest behind both were alive." Tim looked at Gibbs and Tony, brazenly daring them to criticize what he was about to say. "I ran back to Bobby. He was the one furthest behind. He had been the nicest to me. He was still alive. I picked him up and started trying to get him to the rendezvous. The other one...Williams. He didn't have half his torso anymore, but he was still alive. He reached out for help. I ignored him. I couldn't have taken two anyway, but I left him there. I tried to get Bobby out, but he was bleeding too much. The shrapnel tore him apart. He died about ten minutes later."
"I don't get it. Why didn't you just tell the truth?" Tony asked.
"That I attacked my CO, that I defended a woman we knew nothing about, that I was going to turn them in for attempting to rape an innocent woman? Maybe they wouldn't have gone through with it, but what did it matter? They were all dead. Every one of them. The only reason I was alive was my dumb luck. If I told the truth, that would be the last thing their families would have known about them...that their sons, brothers or husbands were... It's not my place to destroy someone who can't fight back. ...and everyone knew that Larson never let anyone take point except him. He was always in front. So I came up with a reasonable explanation for how they died and everyone was fine with believing it because I was already known to be a jinx. The only time it actually did some good."
"Some good? McGee, you lied and they caught you lying," Tony said. "That could really be...bad! They aren't going to want to believe this."
"You think they would have wanted to believe it a year ago?" Tim asked. "And they probably wouldn't have wanted it to get around. They would have sent me back. I can't go back. Are you going to send me back now, Gunnery Sergeant?"
"McGee, if you call me Gunnery Sergeant one more time I'm going to wallop you upside the head."
Tim laughed a little.
"That's the story. Do you believe me?"
"It doesn't matter if we believe you, McGee," Tony said. "We're not the ones who can have you executed."
"It does matter," Tim said, getting to his feet. "I care about whether or not I'm going to be accused of treason. I don't want that because I'm no traitor...but I care about whether or not you guys believe me. I've been on your team longer than any other, Gibbs. You guys should know me better than anyone. If you don't trust me...no one will."
Gibbs hadn't said a whole lot up to this point, and Tim wished he would.
"Who was the woman? Or do I know already?" he asked.
"Ziva."
"Your mysterious source?" Tony asked.
"Yeah. She thinks she owes me."
"Sounds to me like she does."
Tim shook his head. "Whether she does or not, all I wanted was to forget all that. I didn't want to remember, and she won't let me forget. She says she has to save my life in order to make us even."
"Wouldn't mind having someone watching my back."
"Don't you get it, Tony?" Tim asked. "I don't think what I did was anything great and wonderful. What I saw in their eyes was worse than...than amputating Jim's leg! I couldn't have just stood there and watched it happen! ...and to be honest, I was worried about what would happen if my dad found out. I'm not this great person you seem to think I am. I just want to get through this and go home."
"Well, I believe you, McGee, but no one else will want to."
"I know that."
Gibbs still wasn't really saying anything. He looked at Tim for a long moment.
"McGee, with me. DiNozzo. Stay here."
"All right, Gibbs."
Tim followed Gibbs across the base to the Marine headquarters. He took a deep breath as they stepped inside the building.
"Wait here, Corporal," Gibbs said.
Tim was surprised at hearing Gibbs use his title. Did that bode well or ill? He stood in parade rest, unable to relax in a situation like this. A court martial. Accusations of treason. At the time, it had seemed like a good idea...or more like the only idea. When they had asked him what happened, he hadn't even thought really. It was just what came out. Use what they had threatened against him as the explanation.
After ten minutes, the door opened and Gibbs looked almost amused at Tim's stance.
"Come in, Corporal."
Tim walked in and saluted, trying not to feel nervous that Major Vance and Major Morrow were there, staring at him.
"Corporal McGee, you lied to the military regarding an altercation in which six Marines were killed."
"Yes, sir," Tim said.
"You have told a new version to Gunnery Sergeant Gibbs."
"Yes, sir."
"And you now claim that this is the truth."
"Yes, sir."
"Do you have any evidence of your claim?"
"No, sir. I would assume that Ziva would be able to verify what I say happened, but I have no idea where she is. I know very little about her. All I have is my word."
"And how much is your word worth when you have already admitted to lying, Corporal McGee?" Major Morrow asked.
"Why lie?" Major Vance asked.
Tim looked at Gibbs for a moment but then focused on the people who were making the decisions.
"Permission to speak freely, sir?"
"Granted."
"I didn't think that I would be believed. I didn't think that there was any value in destroying the reputations of men who were no longer able to defend themselves. ...and I didn't want to be sent home by people who would just be focused on making sure no one knew about it." He kept himself at attention, hoping to demonstrate by his stance that he meant no disrespect in his words.
"I see."
"I'm not a traitor, sir."
"Please wait outside, Corporal McGee."
"Yes, sir." Tim saluted and walked out, hoping that there was something positive coming out of this.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
As soon as the door closed, Gibbs turned back to Major Vance and Major Morrow. He didn't know Major Vance as well, but he trusted Major Morrow.
"Well, Gunny. This is bigger than any of us thought it would be. You regretting taking McGee on?"
"No," Gibbs said firmly. "I haven't had any problems with him."
"I was told that there was a minor...altercation today."
"There was. As soon as he was told to stop, he did. He apologized, admitted that it was his fault. I've had no regrets taking him on. He is an excellent Marine and devoted to doing his best here."
"You believe his story?"
"I have no reason to believe otherwise. I've seen McGee's work. I don't know the men he was with before."
"Sergeant Larson had an exemplary record," Major Vance said. "His squad was known for its skill. Never any complaints. Until now."
"Whether or not he's telling the truth now, the bottom line is this: Is he a risk?"
"No," Gibbs said. "McGee has his own problems, but he's a great Marine and I count myself lucky to have him."
"If Major Vance doesn't have any complaint, you can keep him. For now."
"No complaints, but he had better hope this doesn't go beyond us. If there's an inquiry into it, he'll be the one who takes the fall because he's the only one left."
Gibbs raised an eyebrow but didn't protest.
"I don't make the rules, Gunny, but I enforce them."
"Understood, sir."
"Good."
Major Morrow looked at Gibbs.
"You're getting a new assignment tomorrow. More dangerous than usual. Do you trust McGee to be part of your team?"
"Yes."
"Dismissed."
Gibbs saluted and left.
As he expected, Tim was standing in parade rest, waiting. How anyone could choose to be in that position was beyond his ken. Tim saw him and started to open his mouth to speak.
"Don't make me repeat myself, McGee."
Tim smiled a little.
"What's going to happen?"
"You're all right. For now."
"I'm staying? No court martial?"
"No, but you're on thin ice. Lying was pretty stupid, McGee."
"Yeah. I know. I still don't know that I'd do anything differently...even now."
"I need one thing from you, McGee."
"What?"
"I need your promise that you're being honest with me now, that you're not lying."
"I promise."
"That came pretty fast."
"I know there's no reason for you to trust me after this, but I promise that I'm telling the truth."
"What do you want, then, McGee?"
"I don't understand."
"You're looking for something here. You could ask to be transferred, but you seem to care about staying here."
"You guys have stuck it out with me so far, even as weird as I am...and you haven't died yet."
"That's not saying much."
"If the worst has to happen, I'd rather have us all go down. I don't want to be the only survivor again. If it has to be everyone, I don't want to be the one left."
"I'd rather not have you plan on dying."
"I'm not. I want to live, but I don't want to live at anyone else's expense. When we first got here, we said we'd all go down together. It was a lie. I'm still here and none of them are. They're all gone."
"You promise me that you're being honest and I'll promise you that we'll do our best."
"I promise."
"Then, we all survive or we all go down."
He put out his hand. Tim shook it.
"Deal."
