Later that day when Greg was frantically cooking Spike worked out that he had invited everyone over for team togetherness, Spike just wanted to go to sleep but he knew Greg was trying to help so he went along with it, he knew they were all worried about him and he wasn't denying it he was down but he also knew he had all right to be.
It was around 7:30 when everyone had arrived Greg also invited Winnie which Spike was finding awkward, he kept relaying the moment when he told her he loved her in his head, everyone was overcompensating for him, every move he made someone was watching and it was beginning to get on his nerves but he let it slide until Sam just come out said it to him.
Spike was in the Kitchen putting some of the dishes into the dishwasher when Sam walked in, pretending to get a drink; Spike knew he was pretending because everything had been laid out on the table in the back Garden.
"What do you want Sam?" Spike turned around in a huff
"Just getting a drink" he said eyes furrowed
"You know there all outside, so stop pretending your not in here to check up on me" he said as he slammed the dishwasher door shut.
"woah buddy, were just worried that's all, you've had a rough two days, we understand" he smiled
"Don't pretend you know what it's like Sam, you have no clue, your all following me about all the time just leave me alone" Spike began to shout
"Spike we just don't want you feeling like you can't talk to us, we don't want you thinking there's other options"
If Sam hadn't pissed him of before he really had now he was full on shouting "You think I'm going to kill myself? Are you being serious? It's hard Sam really hard and I don't know where I'm at right now but you honestly believe I could kill myself?"
As Spike stormed out Sam grabbed Spike's arm "I didn't say that Spike"
Spike ripped his arm from Sam grasp and carried on walking, he shoved past the team who were listening from the hall way and stormed out the front door, he wasn't going for a walk he just needed some air, he stopped at the banister and gripped it tightly as his knuckles turned white he was breathing hard trying to calm himself as he looked out onto the road, it was dark only the street lights making it visible.
The team were stood inside still when Sam walked out he looked deflated and when he saw Boss he went to apologize.
"Boss I'm was only trying to help him" he looked sincere
"We know buddy we all are, it's going to be hard but we'll get there"
Sam just smiled at him.
"Guess I better go talk to him" Greg said as he handed his drink over to Ed before Winnie spoke up.
"Actually Greg, do you mind if I go?" she said as she ducked her head shyly.
"Be my guest" Greg said a little curious
She walked out past them all looking at the ground, she felt a little embarrassed but as far as they knew it was just a friend helping a friend they all knew they were close, although as far she knew it was just friend helping a friend.
Spike was still standing at the banister looking out when he heard the door open he didn't bother turning he didn't want to know until he heard her voice, he turned then.
"You alright?" she asked genuinely concerned
He just scoffed shaking his head.
"Right, sorry" she said, she looked out too decided she would wait for him to talk it took a whole 5 minutes but he did.
"I don't really know what to feel at the moment you know?" he continued looking straight
She turned her head to face him before she too looked straight ahead "No, not really but I've never been through what you've dealt with"
He smiled a little just the corner of his mouth she noticed it though "It's not nice, I can tell you that much."
"I figured" She let out a little huff of laughter
"I can understand why you all keep checking up on me, I just wish you'd stop I need some space"
"I know Spike, were just worried, you've been through a lot" She caught his eyes watering up before he ducked his head and gripped the railing again.
"I just can't get it out of my head that I'm all alone, I have no one Winnie, I know that I have them, I do, I appreciate that but when I go home it's just me no family, no one."
That threw Winnie off, she didn't really know what to say to that because in a way he was right, she knew no one would mind if he rang them whilst of work but she also knew he would never do that because they had their own families to deal with, he felt they didn't need his baggage as well.
"You see?" he said when he realised he'd shut up her up.
She didn't realise she said before it was too late but she decided she didn't mind he needed to know "You have me Spike"
He just shook his head as he turned to her a little frustrated "No I don't Win-"
She was kissing him the way she wanted it this time, it was safe she knew he wasn't going anywhere Spike wrapped his arms around her waist and she had her hands in his hair, it was a slow but passionate kiss they didn't feel the need to rush, they pulled away and for a long while just stared at each other before Spike who was still holding her hips pulled her back in and was kissing her again.
They stayed this way for a long while before the heard the door opening and separated just in time, if Greg noticed anything strange about their behaviour he remained silent about it, he looked at them both and noticed Spike did seem a little better.
"You good, out here?" His voice was soothed
Winnie answered "Yeah, we were just about to come back in" she turned to Spike and caught the glimpse of humour in his eyes they both knew they were nowhere near ready to come in, but they didn't want everyone else to know either.
As they walked back in they headed to the back garden where the team where sat, not talking, Spike felt a little bad he knew that was his fault when he walked through they were all looking up smiling, Sam jumped up.
"Spike, I'm sorry"
"Don't sweat it man, I know" he gave him a reassuring smile.
The team sat in Greg back garden having general chit-chat, Greg looked over at Spike and saw he seemed a lot more relaxed, he still wanted to talk to him though he felt he really needed to open up, he didn't like the way Spike kept quiet and silently dealt with his problems, Greg knew something went down with Spike's Ma but wasn't sure what.
