The Hill of Swords: The Twelfth night.

Author's notes: And here it is, the twelfth night. A little longer than some of my others, but I've noticed that as authors tend to get into their stories the chapters end up expanding, so I've had to shrug it off as an inevitable result of my prolonged writing. Let's see, this will end up the "Charming Faerie Inn" segment. A brief note to one of my reviewers who was so disappointed by my last chapter:

Cryogon0, rejoice! I too have been waiting for the chance to write Shirou's visit to Louise's home. It shall happen in the next chapter, maybe the next two if I need to. And yes, featuring prominently in it will be Karin, the Heavy Wind. For those of you who have no idea whom I'm talking about, either hunt down a translation of the book, or wait eagerly on the edge of your seats for the next installment.

In regards to the little mini contest, I've settled on the names I'll be using. I probably won't go back and change everything till the completion of the second arcs. Here they are though:

Arc one: To Be Drawn. A play on both the summoning aspect and the drawing of a sword, this one took me a while to come up with, and I ended up using my own choice for it.

Arc two: Promised Blades. Inspired by techlology's suggestion, which I'm assuming was based off the song "Sword of Promised Victory", right?

Arc three: Distant Utopia. Logan Murder of Crows gets recognition for this one. It just fit perfectly for my planned third arc.

Now that that's done with, a few notes of interest in this particular chapter.

First off, I decided that one of the main comic elements of Familiar of Zero was the romance/sexual situations that Saito invariably brought about due to his own healthy adolescent male perversion. I was looking to add comedic elements myself to this chapter, but found Shirou didn't exactly lend into the original scenario too well. And thus was born the growing legend of Shirou's prowess. Poor Shirou.

The defining aspect of this chapter though is of course the interaction between Shirou and Henrietta. I'm actually really happy with the way this scene turned out. That and the piece at the end, when I got a chance to play Shirou and Agnes' pasts against each other. Honestly, the similarity there is just too much for me to resist.

The last part that I'd like to call attention to is the dream sequence at the end. I think that too many people play off Shirou's origin as something negligible or unimportant. They treat it as something to just be noted casually in the background. Well, I hope my attempt at describing the scene shows just what I think of that train of thought. Shirou gets called several time in the game on his strangely warped personal nature. I hope this gives an idea into just how I see Shirou, canon or not, coming to be as he is.

And oh yeah! You can't help but feel a bit sorry for Shirou in this chapter. He keeps trying, but he just can't fit the food scene in, no matter his efforts... Once more, poor Shirou.

Got an opinion that's different? Feel free to tell me about it in reviews. Just want to call something on your favorite part, or maybe just offer a suggestion? Also, feel free to review as well.

Now, enjoy the story.

*Story Start*

"Well Shirou," Jessica said with a look of surprise on her face. "I stand corrected. It looks like you really can cook!"

"I know you mentioned it before," Louise agreed, looking down at the plate in front of her with an expression of equal surprise as Jessica. The three of us were stationed in the back, waiting for the last hour to pass till the store opened for the days business. It had taken me three weeks of toil, but I'd finally earned my moment in the kitchen. And I must say, so far the outlook is good for repeat encounters. The pink haired girl took another forkful and placed it into her mouth, as though to affirm the revelation she had just a moment ago with the last fork. "But I certainly didn't expect it to be on this level. This is nearly as good as your tea," she complimented me.

"Thank you, sis," I told her dryly. Jessica also looked at Louise with an amused expression. Louise seemed to realize that she had just implied that she had never eaten her brother's cooking despite the fact that the two of us hypothetically lived together and ran away together. Rather than try to backtrack or make an excuse, Louise just rolled her eyes and kept eating.

"You two realize you're not fooling anyone, right?" Jessica asked, glancing between the two of us.

"What ever do you think she means little sister?" I asked Louise, affecting a shocked look on my face.

"Why, I don't know, big brother," Louise said, a look of equal fake startlement on her face. Jessica puffed up her cheeks in annoyance, glancing back and forth between the two of us. Just as I had predicted on our first night here, there wasn't a worker in the inn that really believed the two of us were actually related. After a few days working here I'd expected some kind of confrontation about it, but none ever came. The impression I got was that we weren't the only two who had some kind of history behind us working here. I'd noticed some of the girls here with a few tell tale signs of past violence. One of them, Mary, a kindly though restrained girl, had scars all up and down her back. Her costumes always had to provide full coverage to keep them from the eyes of the customers, but I'd caught sight of them by accident a few days ago. It seemed the rule of the Charming Faerie Inn was 'no prying'.

Well, for everyone except Jessica. At first I thought it was because she was the unofficial manager of the girls, and was desperate to know so that she could prepare in case we brought down trouble in the form of other angry nobles searching for us. Then I thought it might be because she was trying to be a shoulder to cry on in case Louise needed help adjusting to the commoner lifestyle.

And then I realized that Jessica was just an insanely curious busy body.

"How did you get the meat so tender?" Louise asked, ignoring the pouting Jessica as she continued to eat.

"Well, I'm glad you asked," I said, even as I finished serving myself and sat down. "The trick is that after the original cut, you have to first…."

"So were you the chef at the manor before you two ran away together?" Jessica interrupted shamelessly, leaning in and eying the two of us desperately for some sign of recognition at her accusation. She had taken to doing this recently. Jessica would wait till I was in the middle of something, and then make an accusation, trying to get some kind of reaction out of me so that she could try to piece together what Louise and mine relationship really was. It seemed that was what was really eating away at the city girl. Louise was easy to figure out, but her inability to place precisely what I am had nearly driven Jessica to chewing her nails.

So far I've been accused of being a mercenary, a sister's fiancé, a stable boy, a butler, a tailor for some reason, a wondering circus performer, a gardener, and a bartender. Now I could add chef to the list.

"As I was saying," I continued as though she hadn't spoken, causing Jessica to start fuming. "After the original cut you have to take the meat and…"

"Please!" Jessica interrupted again, leaning forward and clasping her hands together in supplication. "I promise I won't tell! I just have to know!" the scorned girl nearly cried as she begged.

I had continued talking even as she spoke, paying her no mind. "…and then once you've finished that step you have to lay it out carefully and use a little…"

"If you tell me I'll let you have my body!" Jessica finally offered, leaning back and tugging at her low cut blouse provocatively in a move that was vaguely reminiscent of Kirche. Despite myself I broke off my explanation so that I could raise an eyebrow at Jessica. I'd come to learn that city girls in this land were a lot more direct than country girls, even considering how direct country girls could be, but this was just pushing it. Then I noticed Jessica's eyes darting back and forth between me and Louise. It appeared she was just offering to try and provoke a reaction out of Louise. If Louise got indignant, then Jessica was apparently prepared to finally mark me down in the 'lover' category. If the pink haired girl didn't react, then it was likely that Jessica would finally be able to write me off in the 'attendant' option instead.

Louise carefully hid a small smirk using a sip of wine to cover her mouth. "Oh no!" she said, affecting an innocent look. "You don't understand! My brother is just too much man for one woman! He could never be satisfied by just you alone!"

Jessica gaped at my Master, and I sighed, sinking my head into my hands as I did so. "This is because of what I said about your sweater, isn't it?" I accused the pink haired girl, sounding betrayed. Ever since we started working at the inn, Louise had for some reason began practicing her knitting again. It brought to mind something she said before, about how her marital skills used to be equated with her magic skills; Louise had come along way with her magic but still had far to go when it came to her domestics.

So when I had come into the room one night, all unaware, and found what looked like some kind of strange yarn composed tentacle monstrosity apparently attempting to devour my little Master I had reacted by attacking it with Derflinger. After the dust had settled, she had explained that the strange abomination was supposed to be a sweater. I had explained that sweater or not the Root be damned thing had nearly won the battle anyway. Louise hadn't taken me pointing out that little fact very well at all.

"Why, my dear brother, I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, a satisfied smile on her face as she turned back to her plate.

"I already have enough of those rumors floating around about me back where we came from," I complained, not willing to let it go before I had the chance to gripe properly. Siesta had never quite forgotten Louise's love potion offer. The maid was shrewder than she let on most of the time. She had known that Louise had insider information on me, and managed to come to the conclusion that the reason Louise had offered in the first place was that her addled mind had decided I'd like that kind of thing. She'd even gone as far as offering to convince her cousin, the one she exchanged letters with that was trying to convince her to use the love potion on me, to join in just as long as Siesta herself was the one I settled down with in the end. It had taken me half a day to convince her that I really wasn't interested.

Unfortunately it appeared that Kirche had heard some of the conversation, and I had it under very good authority from my scaly insiders that the Germanian red head had upped her attempts to get Tabitha interested herself. I blessed the Root and made an offering of a sacrificed orc that had wandered to close to the castle that the Gallian girl hadn't caved in yet. I was planning on bribing Sylphid to somehow interfere with the ongoing negotiations in order to nip that little plan in the bud.

Guiche had initially made some problems, spreading rumors to a few of the other boys, but he was exceptionally easy to deal with. It had only taken one 'incentive' training session to shut him up.

"So wait," Jessica interrupted again, standing and pointing at the two of us triumphantly. "That means…" the brunette trailed off, her eyes widening as she realized that the declaration was inconclusive. It could mean that Louise wasn't involved with me, but had been around me long enough to know about my supposed sex life. But then again, it could mean that Louise was involved with me and was just trolling for another partner to throw into the mix. The city girl fell back onto her chair, gritting her teeth and emitting an audible growl as she started to pull on her hair, trying to figure out just which of the two options it was.

I sighed, taking another bite of the meal I had prepared. It looked like no one was interested in me explaining the cooking anymore. Pity. I was just getting to the good parts.

*Scene Break*

"Stupid Jessica," I muttered as I lugged the half full sack of garbage and scraps out the back door of the inn. "Just because I won't tell her whether or not Louise was serious about the threesome crack. My cooking was freaking divine! If the Water Spirit itself were to walk in here, accompanied by the anthropological incarnation of the Root and Zelretch himself I could have confidently walked up, slapped down a plate, and all three of them would have bowed to me." Grumbling under my breath, I emptied the bin out into a larger dumpster.

It seemed a little strange, for a medieval town to have a dumpster in it. Initially, I had been more than a little put off by the strangely modern convenience. Curious, I had asked Louise about it. It seemed as though where in modern Japan, the garbage was collected and assembled elsewhere to either be recycled or buried, in Tristain it was all dragged off to be burnt. It was a public works that had been set into motion nearly a century ago by the current princess' great grandfather, and the collection and disposal of the garbage was a way to both supply employment to second sons of nobility who had no chance of inheriting anything worthwhile, and a duty to assign other nobles who just happened to piss off the wrong person. For those poor upstanding nobles the pay was remarkably well, often enough for the young men or women to go off far away after only a year and pretend they never had to do it in the first place. For those who got assigned to the task because of a personal vendetta, it was the most demeaning and hated task in the country.

As was my habit my eyes traced the alley's length as I exited the back door of the bar. Though the Charming Faerie Inn itself was a relatively clean and respectable establishment, the location that it was located in was marginally less clean and respectable. Most of the trips I took out to empty the garbage and retrieve wine were peaceful and quiet. But there had been two or three times where some drunkard or vagrant had been lingering behind the store. It had been common for these trips to have been run by Scarron himself before my arrival. Ever since I joined the staff, it had fallen to me to handle it. In the beginning, Jessica had apparently been a bit worried about my ability to handle myself, so she had accompanied me. That lasted until the first time one of the customers who had gotten a little too drunk and grabby in the store proper had tried to linger in the back for a second chance at one of the girls.

Jessica had managed to stop me before I had to toss him into the dumpster to be taken care of later, but unless the poor slob knew a good water mage, he wasn't going to be healed up anytime soon. After that, Jessica had insisted that I not carry Derflinger around with me in the shop, and the few times that Louise had gotten in trouble had made sure to stand between me and the floor proper until Scarron managed to calm things down.

She made sure to keep a mop nearby just in case I slipped by her. I think it was as much the threat of having to clean up after myself as it was the pure amusement I found from watching Scarron take care of things himself that had spared a few of the more persistent offenders in the past.

Not seeing anything particularly interesting, I went about my business. It was while I was locking up the wine cellar after retrieving the next load needed that I noticed the cloaked figure hovering on the edge of the alley. They were heavily shrouded in a thick dark cape that concealed them completely.

I casually put down the cask of wine that I had placed over my shoulder, and put my hand on Derflinger. Though I wasn't allowed to wear it like I normally did in the store, I drew the line on leaving it up in my room. I had compromised with management by keeping it carefully wrapped in thick cloth as I carried it with me.

"Can I help you?" I asked the robed figure calmly, making no threatening moves but remaining firm as I regarded them carefully.

"Excuse me," the robed figure said, its voice muffled as it emerged from the depths of the hood. "I'm looking for the 'Charming Faerie Inn'. Is it perhaps located nearby?"

"Indeed," I affirmed, regarding them carefully but answering politely. "This is the back alley behind it. If you exit the way you came, and take a right turn, then you will come across the entrance proper."

"So this is indeed it?" the voice raised, sounding relieved. When it was a little louder I began to realize that it sounded familiar. Using a quick bit of reinforcement to my eyes and ears, I peered more closely at the shadows of the hood. "That is a relief," the figure continued. Yup. Definitely familiar. The figure raised its head a bit more, and then seemed to recognize me as well.

"Good evening, your highness," I greeted her politely. "This is a strange place to be running across you."

"Ah!" princess Henrietta's voice sighed in relief. A clatter emerged from the front of the alley, and the robed figure tensed. Moving quickly, she darted till she was hiding behind me, using my body to shelter herself from being seen from the street. Voices raised in excitement echoed down to where the two of us were. "Mr. Servant," the princess of the realm said, her voice soft, "is there a place nearby where I can hide?"

*Scene Break*

"Will this do for now, your highness?" I asked as I led the still cloaked Henrietta into the small attic room Louise and I were currently living in.

"Yes, it should," she responded, finally lowering her hood. Her hair, a dark shade that hovered between being brunette and black and ended up looking almost purple in the light shone briefly in the candlelight as she did so. Beneath her robe she was wearing a dress of pure white, which must be a nightmare to keep clean in a land that lacked things like bleach and laundry machines. One more example of the decadence of high society I imagine. "Thank you, Mr. Servant," she said, offering me a smile. Her smile had improved since the last few times I had seen her. It seemed that every time I met Henrietta, she was sad. The first time, she had been regretting the formality that Louise was showing her. The second time, she was regretting a letter she had sent to a lover. The third time, she had been weeping over the same lovers thrice dead corpse.

This time however, the smile was firmer, and full of genuine relief. Definitely an improvement over the last three.

"Please, your highness," I assured her. "Call me Shirou, or perhaps Emiya if you wish."

"Ah," the princess murmured. If anyone else had said it in that tone it would have been a gasp, but princess Henrietta was apparently too well raised to properly gasp. "Yes, that is right. Your name was Shirou Emiya, was it not?" she asked, sounding uncertain. I didn't blame her. Yes, I had introduced myself, but it was a while back and only an act done in passing. It's no surprise that she hadn't been paying particularly close attention at the time.

"Indeed," I confirmed, trying to remember all the lessons on etiquette Louise had spent her time drilling into me. "If you would remain here, I shall go gather my Master so that you can meet with her properly." I bowed as I spoke, and when I straightened started to head towards the door.

"Please, stop," Henrietta entreated me, sounding panicked in her effort to keep me from leaving. I drew to a halt, surprised. "It is not Louise that I came here to see," she continued, her voice well paced as she explained.

I regarded her for a moment, bit back my initial response which was probably too direct, and tried again. "If I may be so bold, if you're not here to see my Master, then may I assume that it was myself which brought you here?" I asked. She had come seeking this inn specifically. It stood to reason that the only ones she knew here were Louise and myself, and if one of those two was ruled out, the other stood to be the one she was looking for.

"Yes," Henrietta affirmed. She glanced down, appearing demure yet still maintaining the aura of true nobility. It was something I had noticed before in this world. Yes, there were a good number of those so called 'nobles' who were nothing more than pigs with wands just begging to be put down like the swine they were. But on occasion I had found that some of these 'nobles' actually carried themselves to a higher standard and strived to personify the ideals and dignity that their entire class was supposed to have. My Master was one of them. So too, it seemed, was Henrietta. "Forgive me for troubling you so, but I have found myself in need of a bodyguard that is not associated with the palace until tomorrow. From Louise's reports, I had been able to affirm your location, and you were the only one upon whom I could rely upon."

I knit my brow and regarded the monarch carefully. "I am not opposed to the position," I admitted, knowing full well that I could handle being a bodyguard easily. "But I'm afraid that my obligation remains solely to that of my Master, Louise," I reminded her. She grimaced delicately; though I wasn't quite sure how a grimace could be delicate she somehow managed to pull it off. "Unless you can give me compelling reason not to, I shall have to first ensure that my absence would not be an undue strain upon her."

"I would prefer not to trouble Louise Francoise with something so trivial," Henrietta dissembled.

"Not good enough, your highness," I told her, folding my arms and standing resolute. She blinked in surprise at my blunt assessment of her excuse. "I've told you before, that my only loyalty lies with my Master. If you cannot give me a better reason, than I shall promptly take this decision to her so that she can make it as is appropriate."

I had thought that my rude tone of voice would throw the princess off. Instead, Henrietta smiled warmly at it. "Indeed," she murmured, sounding content at my reasoning. "If only more amongst the castle were as steadfast in their loyalty as yourself," she commented, sounding a bit bitter. "Very well. Investigations have been underway as to precisely how the…" she hesitated, "kidnappers," she finally settled on as the descriptive term for the dead that had lured her away from her palace, "managed to penetrate past the guards enough for them to make contact with me. All evidence points to a particular person."

"Then why have they not been arrested yet?" I questioned, eying her carefully. She grimaced.

"Due to this person's position," and I got the impression that it was a high position indeed, "the evidence gathered would be insufficient in the courts to properly justify his arrest."

"And you want me to take care of him, off the record?" I finished, cocking my head as I did so. Henrietta smiled warmly at my offer.

"Unfortunately, no," she turned it down. "In these times it is better for him to be properly prosecuted as an example of those who would conspire against the crown." She paused and then glanced to the side sheepishly for a moment. "Besides, I have already promised his life to another," she murmured. Before I had a chance to follow that line of thought she continued. "Instead I have arranged a similar disappearance, and arranged for his actions to be watched carefully."

"Which explains why you're out and about by yourself, and why you can't have a guard associated with the castle," I finished, nodding slowly.

"Yes," Henrietta confirmed, and then gave me a worried glance. "Is this sufficient enough reason for you to assist me, Shirou?" she looked nervous now. I don't know why. Even if it wasn't I'm almost certain that Louise wouldn't hesitate to order me to do so in an instant. She'd probably come along as well. Still, even with just myself along, the danger was minimal. I could handle a squad or two of men easily, and the princess herself was no slouch when it came to magic too.

I rubbed my forehead and sighed. "Yes, it is sufficient, your highness," I assured her, but continued before she could say anything. "But understand that I'm only doing this because your plan is already underway. In the future, if you have not first confirmed my presence with Louise, then do not count on it being available," I told her, my voice firm and unrelenting. Henrietta lowered her eyes and nodded, excepting my rebuke easily despite her royalty. In fact, she looked quite pleased by it. If this whole ruse was designed to root out the disloyal, than I guess her appreciation for my own loyalty was appropriately high.

"Very well then," she agreed. Standing, she removed her covering robe and turned her back to me, her fingers busy on her dress. "Then there is no more time to waste here. Is there some of Louise's clothes which could be used to make me appear as a commoner?"

Answering verbally as her back was turned I confirmed it. "Yes." Now that I had committed to this act there was no more time for delaying. Moving quickly I began to root through Louise's belongings, trying to find something appropriate. Settling on a plane blouse and skirt I turned back to the princess. She had already disrobed nearly completely, having nothing more on then her white lacy undergarments. With no regard to her own modesty she turned to me and accepted the bundle I offered her.

I paid her near nudity no attention either. This had effectively become a combat operation in my mind, and the first sacrifice to combat is almost always modesty. I shucked off my apron as well, and moved to unwrap Derflinger so that I could wear it properly. I grimaced a bit as my finger brushed the hilt and my runes shown once more. I really needed to do something about them. They were just too conspicuous.

Luckily, even as I finished unwrapping the sword I spotted something just barely peeking out from Louise's belongings. With a curious glance, I tugged it free. It appeared to have been another attempt at a sweater. Made out of course blue wool it looked as though my little Master hadn't quite managed to remember or correct all her techniques yet, because it more accurately resembled a long blue tube then an actual garment. It appeared as though she had managed to get both the sleeves together and then forgot whatever stitch it was that let her change her angle enough to make the rest of the sweater proper. It was strangely heavy, and the ends of the arms were loose, while the front itself had appeared to be open as well.

I narrowed my eyes in consideration, before deciding to give it a try. I slipped both my arms into the sleeves from the open end, and once they were through all the way hooked some of the loose weave around my middle fingers. The end result was that it covered both of the backs of my hands with enough cloth to effectively block the light of the runes out. With a glance down I managed to locate two loose threads at the front, and used the conspicuous things to tie the strange garment closed. The end result was rough looking, but gave the appearance of a peasant whom had simply managed to find a utilitarian use for an otherwise irreparably damaged piece of clothes.

I turned back to Henrietta. She had donned the clothes I had supplied her, but come across a bit of difficulty herself.

"It is rather tight," she commented, sounding uncomfortable. I didn't blame her. It looked tight.

"I'm afraid that your build is a bit more…" I paused seeking a proper way to say that the princess was stacked, "developed," I settled on, "then my Master." I regarded her carefully, and then offered some advice. "Take of your bra and leave the top few buttons undone. That should be more comfortable."

"Is that entirely proper?" Henrietta asked, even as she moved to obey. I looked around for a hair tie, found an appropriate one and went behind the princess so that I could set her hair up as she finished changing.

"No," I admitted bluntly. "But if the guards are too busy staring at your cleavage than they're even less likely to remember your face."

"Indeed," Henrietta nodded, not looking at all embarrassed about the deception. It seemed that her upbringing might have been a little less sheltered than Louise's despite the fact that it was in a palace. She turned to me and I studied her disguise. Not only was she more developed in the chest than Louise, she was also taller. The end result was that her breasts were rather prominently displayed, and that her skirt was high on her thighs. Combined with her hair being up in the ponytail I had placed it in and the princess now looked more like a common city girl who was trolling for company. It seemed like I would be more likely to have to fight off male attention that guard attention. "Then let us not linger here any further," Henrietta commanded. I nodded my response.

*Scene Break*

"Will this room be suitable, your high…" was as far as I got out before Henrietta shot me a stern look. "Ann?" I finished, using the princess' nick name instead of her title.

"Yes," she assured me, even as she glanced around. "This will be most adequate."

I could see why. This place was a heap. If I was out and about looking for a princess, it certainly wouldn't be in a room barely bigger than the attic one Louise and I shared back at the inn. This place was filthy, the window barely able to shut properly, and the only light source in here was a lamp that was so soot stained that I couldn't help but wonder exactly what they were burning in it for fuel.

"Very well then, Ann," I answered, shutting the door behind me as she swept into the room easily walking the small space carefully and checking the beaten up old furniture that was provided here. The only thing that didn't look like it was going to fall apart in here was the bed, and that was mainly because all four of the legs on it were already broken off. I moved over to the lamp, brining out a small box of matches as I went. Even the one light source, as small and shaded as it was, was enough to adequately fill the room.

As Henrietta took a seat on the bed, I pulled one of the rickety chairs from its place in the corner and stationed it nearby and facing the door. Still, even as I started my vigil, I found myself glancing over at the princess as she sat awkwardly near me.

Honestly, I was impressed.

We had been stopped on the way over her no less than three times. At the first one, I had been willing to put on a little show, cast down eyes, proper deference, stuttering fear in their presence, the typical response of a poor tired commoner in front of an armed noble as he made his way home with his girl.

Henrietta on the other hand had a completely different plan. Truthfully, it probably worked better than the one I had come up with. When we were about to come across our first road block she had surreptitiously ordered me to wrap an arm around her shoulder. When I complied she had then wrapped her arms around me and began to shamelessly seduce me. That alone would have probably been enough to divert suspicion away, but the moment the guards had began to finish the persons being checked in front of us, she had brazenly slipped one of my hands down into her shirt between her breasts.

Needless to say, not a guard there remembered our faces. I wouldn't be surprised if they could recall the exact number of scars on the back of my hand though.

That kind of a cool head under fire, combined with her absolute dedication to her task that fueled her even to give up her body for her cause was what had caused my respect to notch up a few points. I had probably been the only one there who had actually glanced at her face while we passed, and though she was wearing a mask of passion, her eyes spoke another story entirely.

Her blue eyes had been as sharp as a knife in the moonlight. There was definitely steel in the princess. I was surprised by that. So far nothing I'd seen of her had been particularly promising. That wasn't to say that I had thought her a bad person or somehow ineffective as a leader. I had just assumed that mediocrity had been the name of her game before tonight.

As I made myself comfortable the soft patter of rain on the wooden window casement began to pick up. "Will we be remaining the night here, Ann?" I asked, settling down for the guard duty I was expecting to have to hold for the rest of the probably sleepless night. I might be able to half doze later if I need to, but I was guarding pretty much the top brass in this country. Better to try and do it all conscious.

"Yes," she answered, her tone hitching. I glanced over to see if she had noticed anything in particular to catch her attention, but instead found her slumping over with her arms folded against her chest as she glanced over at the window occasionally.

"Is something the matter?" I asked, regarding her carefully. I hadn't sensed any assassins nearby, but I was willing to admit that there could be some properly concealed. Henrietta was the water user, so maybe she had some spell that could use the ambient water to detect something I couldn't.

"It is the rain," Henrietta admitted, sounding embarrassed and refusing to meet my eyes. "Ever since," she paused and shudder went through her, "that night it has brought to mind the memories of those who died for my foolishness." She grimaced, sounding ashamed of both her actions and her childish fear.

"Ah," I acknowledged, making no judgments. "Sometimes things will linger like that for a while," I consoled her, and she glanced up at me in surprise.

"Truly?" she asked, sounding relieved that I was familiar with what she was going through and wasn't about to judge her summarily.

"Yes," I acknowledged, turning my attention back to the door. "Given enough time it will pass, so long as you work up the courage to confront it soon enough."

"Ah," Henrietta said, sighing at my lack of an instant cure for her. The rain picked up, the sound of droplets of water striking wood increasing, and she shivered again. "Please," she asked suddenly, as she shrank in on herself further. "Could you do something for me?"

"What is it, Ann?" I asked politely. She glanced down, flushing in shame before she answered.

"Could you hold my shoulders tightly till it passes?" She knew the request was the kind of thing that a kid would give their parents when the child was woke in the middle of the night by lightning, but apparently she was still desperate enough for some measure of consolation that she made it anyway.

"As you wish," I told her, making sure to keep my tone non-judgmental. I stood from the chair, and moved to sit on her right side. Holding the sheathed Derflinger in my left hand, I wrapped my arm around her, making sure to keep the swords hilt in easy drawing distance of my right hand. It was a position that allowed me to quickly draw if needed to, or even cover her body with my own if a surprise attack came about. Though she glanced at the sheath curiously, she said nothing. Instead the princess leaned against me gratefully, resting her head against my side.

Slowly, she unwrapped her arms from around herself and clenched both of them into my shirt as she let my presence guard her.

"Thank you," she whispered sounding too grateful for the comfort to feel regret at its necessity.

"You're welcome," I answered her simply. I glanced down, and decided to try and distract her by talking to her for a bit. "If it makes you feel any better, I had a similar irrational fear once, a while back," I offered her.

"Ah," she murmured, glancing up at me. "Is that so?" She smiled gratefully, recognizing what I was attempting to do and thanking me for it without words. "If you don't mind, what precisely was it?"

"Lunchboxes," I told her bluntly, already expecting her response and preparing myself for it.

She blinked at me, and then looked like she was trying to decide if I was teasing her. "Lunchboxes?" she asked, looking as though she didn't really believe me for a moment.

"Lunchboxes," I confirmed, nodding seriously. "It dates back to when I was learning the sword," I went on to explain, knowing that there was no way she was going to believe I was being serious without getting the back-story here. "My instructor wanted to end the lessons early that day, and I wanted to continue a bit longer. When pressed I told her that I was out of food. That made her quite upset." Henrietta warmed up to the tale, cocking her head against me so she could watch my face as I explained. "As it turned out, the reason she wanted to stop was because she was hungry."

"She?" Henrietta interjected, seeking confirmation on the gender of my sword instructor. This land was pretty gender biased when it came to certain roles, so it didn't surprise me.

"She," I confirmed, nodding solemnly. "She was a very petite woman, but without a doubt the best swordsman I've ever come across. I was lucky that I was able to receive her instruction." I paused. "Shall I continue the story?" Henrietta nodded, her attention already plucked. She wasn't even registering the rain at the moment. "As I was saying, it turned out that she was hungry. Back then, I was a great deal less wise than I am now, so I assumed the most amusing course of action would be to tease her for it," I winced as I admitted my youthful idiocy.

"How ungentlemanly," Henrietta scolded me, smiling slightly at the image I painted.

"I was leaning towards 'stupid' as the best description for it, but ungentlemanly works too," I confirmed for her, giving a too solemn nod that actually managed to set her to giggling. "It turned out that she didn't really have a sense of humor when it came to such things. She made a rather pointed demonstration of her displeasure known." I winced at the memory. An angry Saber, in full armor, and wielding Torashinai. Quite possibly my most terrifying memory. Ever. "When I showed her that I had packed lunchboxes in an effort to distract her long enough to try and escape, it made her even angrier, and the lunchboxes got worked in to her demonstration." My voice was perfectly bland, though my lip had curled into something that was half a grimace at the painful memory, and half amusement at what in retrospect really was kind of funny.

Henrietta seemed to find it amusing enough at least. She was quivering slightly and looking away in the effort to hide her mirth from me.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up, Ann," I told her dryly. Just a little more. "It took me months before I could eat at anything but a table after that."

The admission was enough to drive her over the edge, and she desperately buried her face in my side again in an ineffectual attempt to conceal her giggling from me. I rolled my eyes. At least she wasn't worried about the rain anymore.

*Scene Break*

It was sometime later, when the rain had finally trailed off, that Henrietta finally pulled herself away from me. She had stopped giggling sometime ago, but made no move to withdraw herself from me so long as it was still raining. I understood.

My own fears, as inane as they were, had taken me a while to get over too.

"Thank you," the princess said to me, smiling warmly as she did so. "Again I was helped by you."

"You're welcome," I told her. Briefly I wondered which she considered the other time. Was it when I helped retrieve the letter with Louise? Or was it when I was instrumental in helping to stop her from being kidnapped? Or when I stopped her from harming Louise? Or maybe when I called her over so she could have her last few moments with the dead prince Wales?

In the end, it didn't matter which she considered the time she was thanking me for.

It was at that moment, before the conversation could really start up again, that someone started hammering at the door.

"Open! This is the royal guard. In the name of the palace we are conducting a search of these premises. Open immediately for inspection," a stern sounding voice called from the other side of the thin rickety door. I grimaced.

"Perhaps if we stayed silent?" Henrietta asked, her previous moment of weakness forgotten. Her eyes were once again like daggers as she began calculating possible plans of action.

"If they have even an ounce of duty in them they're not going to buy that while their princess is missing," I told her dryly. I placed the thumb of my left hand under the hilt of Derflinger ready to use it to break the seal on the sheath so that I could draw. "What are your orders, Ann?" I asked her. If needed I could fight them off and we could escape, but not without me most likely hurting or killing a few of them. It would be hard to get away afterwards, and if Henrietta was identified than I'd be labeled the kidnapper. The lethality of their attacks would increase accordingly, and my own duty to shield her from the attacks would increase their effectiveness.

Henrietta grimaced as she too seemed to come to this conclusion. Her jaw set, and she declared firmly. "Then it can't be helped."

"What do you…?" was as far as I got before my eyebrows shot up. In one smooth motion Henrietta had untucked her blouse and began to unbutton it. Even as she fumbled with the last button with one hand she leaned over me, wrapped one arm around my neck, forced me to the bed, and then unceremoniously shoved her tongue in my mouth. "Mph?" I managed to get out.

I have to admit that I certainly hadn't expected that. Still, even as she began to caress me with her other hand, her uncovered front pressing against me, I understood. This princess definitely had steel in her, if she was so willing to use her body as a weapon like this. Giving into the ruse, I wrapped my own arms around her, placing them on her hip and shoulder delicately.

Sure enough when the guards broke down the door just like at the road block I'm positive that not a guard there remembered the faces of those in the room. They had other things to look at that they'd probably be able to recall in perfect detail at a later date.

Still, another difficulty began to arise. I'm positive the two of them were so engrossed in, how to put this, carefully studying the scene in order to ensure there were no fugitives hiding under the bed that they had probably forgotten to leave in the first place. They lingered watching for so long that I began to contemplate whether or not letting my hands wander would be enough to shock them back into decency, or whether it would just encourage them to stay and watch longer and force us to up the ante.

Finally though, one of them managed to pull himself back together long enough to drag the other one who was still enjoying himself a little too much out with him. The door they had kicked open swung shut behind them. Unfortunately it now no longer had a lock so it didn't properly close.

Thankful that the watchers were now gone, this unfortunately made me aware of another problem that was developing.

When Henrietta didn't stop kissing me immediately, I figured sure, she was just making sure the guards had really left. When the time between them leaving and her not stopping had extended to two or three minutes, I figured, hey, she must be giving them time to clear the floor. When we had the ten minute mark, I was running dry on excuses for her still having her tongue attempting to count my fillings.

Finally, when I was beginning to genuinely worry, she managed to drag herself away from me. Still on top of me, she rested her forehead on mine, staring down at me with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

My own ocular organs and facial muscles were similarly conditioned by this point.

"Ann?" I asked, my voice uncharacteristically soft for me. Root damn it. Root damn it and the Blue finish it off, but it had been a long time since I'd had a woman in my arms that wasn't just there to sleep, or was being carried off a battlefield in pain, or I was just sheltering or guiding. I knew this was a ruse used to safeguard our secrecy, but Root damn it, it had been a very, very, long time.

"Shirou," she breathed, her own voice husky with passion. She glanced down, her cheeks flushing further, before apparently coming to a decision. Her lips found mine again, and then traced their way upwards till they found my ear. "Shirou," she repeated. "Do you have a lover?"

The room was hot. The humidity from the rain, combined with the cramped nature of it, added to the body heat the two of us being in close proximity for an extended period of time had added to it. I could feel the sweat from my own body, combined with the warmth and moisture of the partially undressed one on top of me pressing down. It went to my head, making me feel like my brain had been stuffed with wool, like I should forget the talking, flip over this soft thing on top of me so that she was under me, and pick right up where the two of us had let off.

Instead, I simply laid still and answered her. "Yes," I told her. "I do."

Henrietta trembled briefly on top of me, and then the strength seemed to go out of her. Her full weight pressed against me as she rested. "I see," she said sadly. "At the school? Louise, perhaps?" she asked, her voice tremulous.

"No," I told her honestly. "Back in my homeland."

Tension returned to the princess. "Then you have been separated for some time? Since you were brought here?" she asked, her voice soft with her lips still next to my ear.

Despite myself, I let out a rueful chuckle. "It has been even longer than that since I have been with her," I admitted, my voice laced with a trace of bitterness in it. "It has been years since I felt her touch," I acknowledged. I don't know why. Perhaps it was the wool in my head that forced the confession out of me. Perhaps it was the endless battles, with none of the comfort of a warm hearth waiting for me afterwards. Perhaps it was just this soft girl that rested on me. Perhaps I just wanted to confide in someone who had already confided in me. Who knows.

"So long," she murmured, making no move to get off of me. The moment had become something intimate. It felt like the two of us had been cut off, removed entirely from the rest of the world, that the entire universe consisted of nothing more than the two of us and this cheap dirty room.

"She had duties," I said, halfheartedly explaining. Remembering my own, I removed one hand from Henrietta, the one that had moved dangerously close to places on her that it had no right being close to during the heat of passion, and instead placed it on the hilt of Derflinger. "She was a king, you know," I told her, surprising even myself. Why had I said that?

"A king?" Henrietta moved next to me, and I could feel her facing me directly, her eyes inches from my own as they stared up to the ceiling. She studied me curiously, her breath caressing my cheeks as she did so. "Don't you mean a queen?" she asked.

Dear Root, we hadn't even done the deed and we're already exchanging pillow talk about past lovers. "A king," I confirmed the title. "She was the only daughter of the previous king. In her land it is only men who can rule. The king at the time gave her to one of his loyal knights, concealing her birth completely. She was raised as a boy, learning the ways of the sword and chivalry." My voice was soft as I explained the past of my dear Arturia. "When her father died, apparently without heir, there was a task set to determine who would be the next ruler. Concealing her gender, she completed it and assumed the throne."

"And the deception lasted?" Henrietta asked, her voice soft and tired, but still laced with curiosity. I wonder what she felt, hearing the tales of another young queen. Perhaps she saw some connection between herself and my Saber.

"She was naturally small, and her sword work kept her thin of frame," I admitted. "When it appeared that she was not aging, the people declared that she was a holy figure, granted eternal youth as a boy due to her divine nature."

"Yes," Henrietta agreed drowsily. "The people are often quick to declare their leaders holy." I glanced at her. One of the rumors that had begun circulating after the fields of Tarbes was that the princess had won the battle through the grace of god, and that she was a holy leader on their crusade against the vile Albion. It was the kind of political tripe that was good for rousing the population and ensuring civil compliance during crusades. Though at the moment Henrietta's eyes were more sleepy than anything else, they still held a trace of self contempt at the manipulation.

Henrietta finally shifted from where she lay against me. Rather than pull herself away and fastening her blouse, she instead dragged herself down my body till her head could rest against my chest. Turning her head to the side, she laid herself flush on top of me.

"Shirou," she said, her voice soft. "I have one last selfish request to make. For tonight, could you hold me as a lover?"

"Ann?" I said, my voice low, and though it was soft it held a hint of warning.

"Not to take me as a lover," she assured me, still soft. "Just hold me as one for the night. Though I am the princess, I am still a woman, and I miss the warmth of one beside me as I rest." She tightened her hold on me slightly. "Please, forgive this shameless request of mine," she whispered.

I lay still for a moment. I could understand the sentiment. There were times when I too would lay awake at night, feeling very alone. Though I felt my own feelings were a bit different from hers.

Though I was a man, I was also a sword. At times, I missed the reprieve from battle that my scabbard provided me with.

I rolled onto my side, placing my arms around the lonely princess as I did so. She accepted my action, burying herself in my warmth gratefully. Despite my acquiescence, I still had a job to do. Using the sheathed Derflinger, I pushed the still swinging door all the way shut, and then used the sheath to drag the chair I had been sitting on till it was propped against the door, keeping it from opening due to drafts. Finally, I brought the sword till it rested against Henrietta's back, where it could be quick to draw and the large weapon would provide some measure of protection to her.

She sighed as I did so, and I could feel her body relax.

Still, I had one thing left to say. "Your highness," I said, speaking softly and using her title despite her earlier insistence on using her nickname. "In the future, do not rely upon me for this duty as well."

My only response was her nod which I felt against my chest.

And so as the princess slept in my arms, I began my watch, my eyes never leaving the door to our room, my body not forgetting the warmth of the presence beside me.

*Scene Break*

"Is this our destination?" I asked Henrietta as we closed in on the Royal Tanaijiiru Theater. At dawn the sleeping princess had been awoken by a scratching at the window casement. I'm not sure how it had found us, but a messenger owl had located the two of us, and landed on the bed frame near us with a scroll in claw.

Well, until it recognized me anyway. Regardless of the fact that this time I didn't have an ax out, it had taken one look at me, given me a double take, and then dropped the scroll and fled like I was about to come after it.

Honestly, some people could so hold a grudge.

Regardless of my own avian difficulties, with a destination in mind Henrietta had fixed her clothing, blushing lightly as she did so and the two of us had left for wherever it was that this power play was going to end.

"Yes," Henrietta confirmed. All traces of her moment of weakness were gone the moment we had left that small cheap room. Though I was following her a pace behind and to the left, I had little doubt that if I could see her face I would find the daggers in her eyes had returned. "My guard should await us there."

"Will my services be required in the upcoming conflict?" I asked, my voice only mildly curious. Though I wouldn't mind tagging along till the end of it, I had to admit that I was beginning to get antsy. It had been nearly twelve hours since I disappeared without a word to my Master, and I had little doubt Louise was probably tearing her hair out trying to figure out where I had gone.

Whatever Henrietta was about to say was lost as aforementioned pink haired girl made herself known by shrieking, "Princess! Shirou!" and launching herself across the courtyard in front of the theater towards the two of us.

"Louise," Henrietta murmured, and I could hear a smile on her lips. The two girls embraced. I stood behind the two of them patiently, my arms folded as my eyes scanned the courtyard diligently. Approaching from behind where Louise had come from was another figure, one who apparently had been accompanying my little Master why she waited here for some reason.

My eyes raked the approaching person, and it took every ounce of my physical ability not to react in complete abject shock.

Blond hair. Green eyes. A thin frame. The composed stance and walk of a master swordswoman.

I blame the emotional moments from last night, but for a second I thought I was standing before my lost Saber.

Even as my hands clenched unintentionally, my eyes took in the rest of her features. The face was a little too harsh, the hair a little too short, the posture a little too tense.

With an iron act of will that was entirely harder than it should have been, I composed myself. Luckily I don't think anyone noticed.

The blond swordswoman glanced at me, her expression curious. I returned it. Now that I had assured myself that she couldn't be who I had mistaken her for, I was wondering just who it was that had guarded my charge during the night. Apparently she was thinking the same thing as she regarded me frankly.

Despite myself, I gave a small smile. I indicated with my head where I was standing, and then nodded to where she was standing.

She raised an eyebrow towards me, and then gave her own crooked smile.

Without a word, the two of us promptly exchanged our positions so that I was standing beside Louise and the new girl was standing behind Henrietta.

During this process it seemed as though Louise and Henrietta were having a brief emotional exchange. I'd noticed that the two of them tended to do that from time to time, and thus had begun to subconsciously filter out the specifics of each instance.

"In the future, do not hesitate to rely upon me as well, princess," Louise was scolding Henrietta as me and the blond both returned to our proper positions. Despite myself, I raised my eyebrow. The pink haired girl had assumed the "Tohsaka Rin Scolding Position number three": hand on hip, eyebrows narrowed, and finger positioned in an accusing manner inches away from the forehead of the one being scolded. Henrietta seemed a little taken aback by the shorter girl's intimidation tactics. I don't blame her. RIn's scolding positions were to a one very, very, frightening.

"Ah…" Henrietta murmured, not sure how to respond to being dressed down to by a technical social inferior. She slumped down a bit, looking vaguely like a kicked puppy. The blond haired swordswoman behind her raised an eyebrow, apparently not the least bit surprised by Louise's ability to be scary.

"And you," my Master exclaimed, wheeling to unleash her own attack upon me. She seemed to realize that putting a finger in my face would just be awkward due to the height distance, and instead assumed the "Tohsaka Rin Scolding Position number one prime": arms crossed, eyebrow twitching and feet tapping. She pulled it off rather well, and it took me a bit of effort not to glance to the side sheepishly. "What excuse do you have for disappearing with warning?"

Luckily, I had the entire night to prepare a defense. "Princess Henrietta ordered me to do so, and you had given me the previous command to respond with proper deference," I told her easily, shifting all the blame on to both the girls instantly. Louise's eyes narrowed further, and somehow her wand appeared in her still crossed arms, knuckles white as the squeezed. The blond swordswoman took instant note of it, and her eyes began tracking the magical implement carefully, a trace of nerves in her glance. "I've already explained to the princess that in the future she would have to confirm with you before borrowing me," I went on to explain, trying not to grovel for forgiveness to obviously. "The only reason I complied in this instance was because her planning had already included my presence, and I did not wish to further endanger her by disrupting the operation."

Louise's eyes narrowed, but apparently could not find any particularly glaring instances of negligence in my actions. Oh, I knew I'd pay for it later, but it would probably just be a petty prank on me.

During my scolding the plaza we were waiting in was subject to the arrival of a good number of flying nights. I took a moment to study their steeds. So these were manticores? They were large lion like creatures with scaly wings reminiscent of dragons and having long arching tails that resembled scorpions. Strangely enough, rather than keeping their tails arched over their head as the arachnids tended to, the powerful yet strangely graceful creatures seemed to prefer to have them streamlined behind them, trailing them like the way a dragon's tail would. I hazarded a guess that this was mostly due to their avian qualities. It would be pretty hard to fly if the tail was constantly in the path of the wings. The leader moved angrily towards us.

"What is the cause of this, Agnes?" he demanded, his mouth a sneer and his voice dripping with contempt. The blond swordswoman, whom I could now label as Agnes spared him an uninterested glance. "I was told that the princess would be here, and yet I don't see…" His eyes had glanced over the group quickly, studying us generally. I took a measure of pride in the disguise I had helped make when he didn't even look twice at Henrietta. I decided to give him a hand, and when his eyes settled on me they found a finger pointing discreetly to the princess. When the guard followed my finger with confusion, he looked closer and suddenly recognized just who the purple haired girl with a ponytail and a very provocative shirt was. "Your highness!" he said belatedly, kneeling.

As Henrietta began to issue commands, the blond girl, Agnes, sidled up to me. She didn't look like the type that got distracted easily, but it seemed her curiosity had finally gotten the better of her. "Are you the one responsible for that?" she asked me, giving a cautious glance towards my little Master.

I raised an eyebrow, not quite sure what she was talking about. "I might have had a hand in it," I answered cautiously. The look Agnes gave me was equal parts measuring and equal parts caution at that.

"Well, you did a fine job with her," she congratulated me, and then left to take care of her own business.

I gave a curious look at Louise, as Henrietta finally approached us directly again.

"Louise, Shirou," the princess addressed us both. Louise instinctively straightened up at being addressed by the royal figure. I maintained a more casual demeanor. "I thank both of you for your assistance. Louise," she addressed the pink haired girl directly. "Thank you for your hard work. Your reports have been most useful, and have been of great assistance to me." Henrietta didn't give her enough time to respond, turning to address me as well. I got the impression that she was impatient to finish something off. Something that was in the theater if her quick glances in that direction were any indication. "And Shirou. Thank you for guarding me during the night." She offered me a brief smile, before glancing once more at the building that was being circled by the knights on their strange beasts.

"Will you be needing any further assistance then, your highness?" I asked politely. She shook her head, and without another word turned to enter the theater, leaving just Louise and I standing in a plaza filled with armed angry looking men.

As she left, I noticed that once more that Henrietta's eyes were like daggers.

"What was that all about?" Louise asked, her eyes twitching with frustration.

"You don't know?" I asked, sounding curious. "I got the impression that you were in on it due to that blond woman." Louise grimaced.

"All Agnes would say was that it was a rat hunt," she explained, stomping one of her little feet angrily. It looked like she had been up all night, and was still wearing her little camisole outfit from the inn. I got the impression there was a story here I was unaware with.

"I got the princess to explain it," I assured her, causing Louise to blink that I apparently had more information than her. "I wouldn't agree to help without her doing so," I explained. Louise nodded, waiting for me to continue. "It seems the princess faked a kidnapping so that she could try and lure out the dissidents responsible for her previous actual kidnapping."

"Ah," Louise said, nodding as she understood. Then she frowned. "That wasn't so hard at all," she complained. "Why couldn't Agnes of the princess have just said something like that?"

"I got the impression it was a pretty secretive op," I said, rubbing the back of my head slowly. "That was the reason I was pulled in. They needed someone not in the palace to keep an eye on the princess while they were waiting for the operation to come together." Louise nodded slowly, and I could see her coming to the conclusion that if they needed someone skilled and relatively unknown, then yes I would fit the bill. "If you don't mind me asking," I started, glancing sideways at my little Master as the two of us began to walk away. "What was the deal with that Agnes girl? Who was she and what did you do to freak her out so much?"

Louise cleared her throat embarrassedly and glanced to the side. "Well, she was the captain of the Musketeer corps," she explained. "They're the ones personally responsible for the safety of the princess. When I heard that she had disappeared in the night," Louise glanced to the side, looking sheepish, "well, I might have tried to steal her horse and then blow up one of her guns," she admitted.

I chuckled, and rubbed her head affectionately. "That'a girl, Master, that'a girl." She grimaced and tried to brush my hand away. "You know," I continued as she tried to fight off my assault on her hair, "I've come to the conclusion that if you could do a lot worse than service to the princess if that's what you choose to do," I admitted. That caused Louise to stop and stare up at me from beneath her messy locks.

"What do you mean?" she asked. A few days ago I was encouraging her to make her own decisions and think carefully over what she chose to do with her life. Now I was admitting that she could be fine just continuing as she was.

"That girl would make one hell of a Master," I admitted shamelessly. From behind us a sudden roar emerged from the building. It was the sound of dozens of pistols being fired within a heartbeat of each other. Louise jumped and glanced back, not sure of what to make of it.

I continued to lead the girl away. She needed her sleep, if she was going to manage to keep up with her shift tonight. Still, a brief cold smile made my way onto my face. Definitely steel in that one.

*Scene Break*

It was three days later, and when I was getting properly twitch in anticipation, that Louise finally had the opportunity to launch her petty vengeance against me.

"Wash faster, Shirou," Jessica scolded me, eying me carefully as she did so.

"Yes ma'am," I responded dutifully.

"You left us in a bit of a pinch the other day," she told me, continuing her lecture as though I hadn't spoken at all. "If you ever want your chance at the stove again, then you're going to have to re-earn it," she shook her finger at me, looking like she was having far too much fun with herself. I guess the fact that I was a more or less ideal worker meant that she didn't have enough opportunities for her to come down on me as the disciplinarian of the inn. Now that she had a genuine chance to, she was going to milk it for all it was worth.

"Yes ma'am," I droned again. Rather than take offense at it, I had decided to go along with her. I figured the more I pretended that I truly was repentant and the more I groveled for forgiveness, the quicker I could be back to preparing dinners. I already had a menu planned up for the day of my joyful return to the stove in the corner. I eyed it greedily. Oh, that stove and I were going to have so much fun.

"Don't let up on big brother," Louise encouraged Jessica gleefully. She gave me a small smirk, which combined with her all black outfit of the day made her look like an evil little imp sent to torment me. "If he hadn't disappeared I wouldn't have had to be out all night looking for him! Stupid big brother," she joined in with the scolding. Jessica had apparently decided that she could set aside her attempts at divining our true nature for the moment and had accepted the assistance Louise was providing gleefully.

"Yes ma'ams," I dutifully acknowledged.

I was in the process of stacking the last of the dirty dishes, when a voice interrupted the two girls' fun.

"Excuse me," they said, and I glanced over at who had snuck into the backroom. Sometimes I'd have to kick out male patrons who got a little too enthusiastic while Scarron was busy. Instead of a loud red faced drunk, I was instead greeted by two small cloaked figures.

Jessica started, glancing over at the intruders. "Oi!" she said, still using her scolding tone. "You can't be back here," she declared, pointing towards the door they had come through in indication of where they should be going.

Even as I prepared to eject the two, the taller one glanced up for a moment. All three of us saw the face within, but only Louise and I recognized it; Agnes. And if the guard was here, then the other figure must be…

Louise seemed to instantly come to the same conclusion. She gave me a quick glance, and I nodded in return. She could take care of them for the moment and I'd follow shortly. Then Louise glanced at Jessica, and then back at me. This time her expression was less business like and more sadistic. I couldn't quite classify it, but it looked vaguely like the "Tohsaka Rin Scary Smile number six". I suppressed a grimace. Nothing good ever came out of the Scary Smile category.

"Big brother!" she gasped, sounding honestly shocked. "What have I told you about bringing your lovers here while we're working?" she shook her finger at me. Two cloaked figures and one inn manager gasped at that declaration. I sighed instead. At last, the retribution comes. Louise sighed exaggeratedly. "Well, if they're already here then it can't be helped," she declared and flounced over to the two cheerfully. Putting an arm around both Agnes' and Henrietta's waists she smiled winningly at the frozen gawking Jessica and my own resigned self. "I'll just take them up to the room and get them ready for you," she winked at me, and led the stuttering and shell-shocked figures away.

"I'll get her for this," I muttered, tossing the cleaning rag away. "By the sadistic Root and the laughing Throne of Souls, I'll get her for this."

"So it's true!" Jessica gasped, staring at me with wide eyes. "One woman ISN'T enough for you!" She stared at me with wide unbelieving eyes.

My eyebrow twitched at the accusation.

"Wait," she said, not giving me time for any more of a reaction. "But that means…" she stopped, trying to puzzle out what this new clue gave her. It meant that I was definitely involved with other girls, which meant that I could just be an attendant. But then again, Louise had said I was too much for one woman. Maybe I was too much for two women as well? And Louise had said she'd get them ready for me…

Jessica began to grind her teeth and pull her hair. I was beginning to genuinely worry for the girl. If she kept this up her head might explode.

With a sigh I realized that there was no way that I was going to convince her otherwise. I might as well just accept the rumors.

"Screw it," I muttered, fastening the sleeves of the abortive sweater that I was still using to cover my runes and picked up a wrapped Derflinger again. I swore I could hear the sword laughing at me.

"I'm sure you will," Jessica muttered, her face red as she tried to figure out just what to make of me again.

"I walked into that one," I shook my head, and left to catch up with Louise before she managed to contaminate our visitors with further lies.

*Scene Break*

"So that's what you meant!" Agnes was laughing as I prepared the tea. The blond swordswoman had managed to pick up some pretty impressive wounds on whatever task she had been set on after we had separated in front of the theater. Fortunately, Henrietta also know some pretty impressive healing magic. The end result was that the blond was apparently a little sore and slow, but well on the mend.

"Is it entirely appropriate to spread such rumors, Louise?" Henrietta scolded her friend, though it looked like she too found the situation amusing.

"Appropriate? No." Louise admitted, smiling into her cup. "Am I going to stop? Again, no."

"You're right," I told her dryly. "I am a bad influence on you." Louise smiled again, completely unashamed of her assault on my character.

"Surely the legends of your prowess have helped you land a few of the more curious little girls," Agnes cajoled me, red faced with laughter. Louise glanced away and Henrietta glanced down, both of them knowing my stance on partners. Still, I didn't want to spoil the mood. I'd already begun to get a feel for the swordswoman's character. She was blunt, but loyal to a fault. I got the impression that she lived by the axiom 'work hard, play hard'.

"Well, I'm sure it would if it didn't intimidate them so," I admitted, dodging the accusation. I let loose a little sigh of long suffering endurance. "Still, it's a perfectly viable tactic. If they spend all their time speculating on my supposed conquests then they're not wondering whether or not we're intelligence agents in her highness' employ."

"Ah," Agnes acknowledged. She held up a small flask. I nodded and she put a dollop into my cup as I sat down. The two of them had come here in order to indulge in an informal debriefing. Agnes had earlier declared her intention of throwing back a few in celebrations. When I had begun to make tea for everyone she had offered her flask of brandy to spike it with. I had let her put a little in, just enough to give it a bit of a kick but not enough to get on top of the two less experienced drinkers. Agnes and I had simply spiked our cups more generously after I had poured. "I'll admit to that," she said. The woman was positively gregarious. I didn't know if it was just the way she normally was, or if something good had happened recently. "Why, when we were tailing the messenger, I pretended to be a male and had Louise kiss me. They walked right by, never even noticed us," she described the scene with a laugh.

"Oh?" I said slyly, glancing at my Master. She had flushed as red as her hair as Agnes described their ruse. "Sadly, I can't defend my gender too much in this regards," I admitted, letting it slide. I did however carefully store this particular bit of information away. It might be just enough blackmail to keep the rumors about my supposedly legendary orgies from spreading further. "Let me guess," I said, turning back to Agnes. "You've used the low cut chain mail a few times in the past yourself?"

Agnes snorted, completely unashamed. "Yes. You'd be surprised how easy it is to run a man through if they're busy staring at a pair of breasts." The swordswoman unashamedly hefted her pair. They were by no means large, her exercise no doubt helping to keep them that way, but they were certainly noticeable. The two noble girls looked like they were having trouble deciding if they found the conversation embarrassing or amusing.

"Women have all the luck in that regard," I admitted with a sigh. "I doubt I'd have those opportunities if I showed a little chest."

"Oh?" Louise huffed, giving me a small glare. Apparently she didn't find all the talk about using sex appeal to win battles that comforting. It might have something to do with the way she kept glancing from Agnes, to Henrietta, and then to herself, and sighing. "I think that Scarron manages to do well enough."

I grimaced. "Point made, Louise," I told her. Agnes and Henrietta, whom obviously hadn't seen the manager himself while they were infiltrating the inn, glanced between the two of us curiously.

"Never the less," Henrietta spoke up, taking charge of the conversation. She looked a little flush, the strong brandy in the tea beginning to work on her. Louise appeared to be in the same condition, though she could just be embarrassed still from Agnes confession earlier. Agnes and myself had drank a bit more than either of the two noble girls, but I guess either superior experience or superior constitution had rendered us more immune to the effects. "I'd like to thank you, Louise for all your hard work in gathering rumors for me." The princess leaned over and clutched the noble girls hand with one of her own, smiling. Louise flushed in embarrassment.

"Not at all, your highness," she assured the princess eagerly. "I'm just sorry that so many of them are so unpleasant."

"Unpleasant?" Agnes asked, her own duty as a guardian coming into play, as she leaned forward slightly, still sipping her brandy and tea. "What kind of rumors have been spreading?" she asked, glancing at me for information, apparently not-privy to the specifics of Louise's reports. I shrugged. I spent most of my time in the back behind the scenes. I rarely had the opportunity to hear as much from the customers as Louise did.

"That I am a silly girl, and that the planned invasion of Albion is nothing more than my desire for revenge dragging the rest of the country to war," Henrietta sighed. She took another sip of her tea, and looked to wobble a bit. It seemed she was a bit of a lightweight. "I can hardly blame them," she admitted, probably being more honest with us then she would if she wasn't tipsy. "In the end, it is my desire for revenge for Wales that is driving me to do so."

While both Agnes and Louise both looked too shocked to properly collect themselves to assure the princess that no, her desires were no such thing, I shrugged and spoke up. "So? It's as good a reason as any," I point out. The table gawked at my bluntness.

"My desire for vengeance is reason enough to take my country to a war that might result in thousands of deaths?" Henrietta finally voiced, not seeing my reasoning at all.

"No," I contradicted her. "Your desire for vengeance is enough for you to start the war. I've seen enough wars to know that there have been far less ideal reasons for it. But I'd wager four out of five people who join your army will have their own reasons to fight. You'll be going for vengeance. They'll be going for gold, or glory, or patriotism." I gave another small shrug, pouring myself a small tea. "If I were to hazard a wager, I'd say that Louise goes for friendship, and I go for duty," I pointed out. Henrietta glanced quickly over at the pink haired girl, and Louise flushed, looking down shyly and nodding. Agnes gave me her own glance, an approving smile on her face. I wasn't sure if it was because I had managed to assure the princess that those who would serve her would do so for their own reasons, of if my own reason for fighting was similar enough to hers to warrant her agreement.

Surprisingly enough, it was Louise who spoke up next. "You know, Shirou," she said, her own face flushed red with intoxication. She eyed me curiously. "You've told me before that there are three things you'll fight for. I know what two of them are," she didn't elaborate, and I nodded. "But I still don't know what the third is." She was leading me on rather heavily. Apparently my Master wasn't too good at handling her drink.

I grimaced lightly. "Shouldn't we be talking about the rat hunt?" I tried to change the subject, using the term Agnes had in describing the events of three days ago.

"I too am curious, Shirou," Henrietta instead said, glancing at me with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. Briefly I was reminded of the last time I had seen her in that state, and promptly shoved those thoughts away. I guess she was curious to know more about the man she had spent the night with.

"Come on!" Agnes cajoled me easily. "We've already talked about my breasts. Your will to fight hardly sounds so personal after that," she pointed out, leaning back in her seat as she took another drink from her cup. She winced slightly as one of her wounds apparently aggravated her, but the edge had been taken off through magic and liquor, so she paid it no more mind.

With a sigh, I capitulated. "Saving," I explained, shortly. Three heads tilted to the side, and I could almost make out the little question marks that appeared above their heads.

"Saving?" Louise asked. "Like money?"

"Do you mean protecting maybe?" Henrietta tried her own interpretation.

"No. You mean like rescuing prisoners or something, right?" Agnes tried. "So you were a revolutionary back home?"

"Nope, none of those three," I shook my head. "Look, it's a bit hard to explain, alright? Why don't we let Derflinger tell a few dirty jokes, and get this party back in a celebratory mood," I offered.

The sword, which had been propped up as was the custom at the table and had his own brandy laced tea in front of him chimed in. "Thanks partner! I have a couple of good ones!" It sank down in its sheath, apparently collecting itself. "Hey! Have you heard this one? There was a maid, a butler, and these twin noble girls, right…"

Agnes cut him off. "So he said, 'That wasn't my mop,'" she recited instantly.

"Ah," Derflinger sighed, sounding disappointed. "I guess you have heard that one," he muttered. Apparently the swordswoman's interjection had been the punch line.

Louise seemed determined to keep on conversation though. "What would it take to get you to explain yourself?" she asked, apparently willing to acknowledge my reticent, and equally willing to offer something in negotiation.

With a sigh, I rubbed my head. "You never again brining up the damn threesome rumor you keep spreading, and do everything you can to suppress it while we're working here." I cocked my head in further thought. "And more of Agnes brandy. If I'm going to talk about it, then I really would prefer being less sober than I am now."

"Deal!" Louise jumped on it. Dutifully, Agnes handed over her flask. Rather than pouring more in my cup, I instead brought it directly to my lips. It was a large flask, and when I got my hands on it it still had more than half left. When I gave it back, I had reduced that to a quarter.

"Well?" Louise said as I sat for a moment, my eyes unfocused. Henrietta and Agnes had leaned in, expecting a good story.

"Give me a second to figure out where to start," I told her with a grimace. Finally I figured that there was no way I was getting out of this, especially after having excepted Agnes bribe, and decided to just plunge in. "I've told you that I was an orphan, right?" I began. Louise nodded, though it was no surprise that Henrietta and Agnes hadn't known. The princess brought a hand to her mouth, her eyes widening in compassion, though Agnes just cocked her head and waited for more. "I never told you how I was orphaned, right?"

"No," Louise admitted, sitting back with her cup of tea, watching me closely.

"Well," I grimaced, deciding how much to leave in and how much to keep out. "There was a massive fire," I finally settled on. "There had been two mages, both with Servants of their own, that had been fighting it out. They'd been after each other for a while, but when they finally got down to their final confrontation, it happened to be in my home town." That was suitably vague enough, but still making it to the point enough for them to understand. "The end result was a whole lot of flames and explosions. When it was all over, I was the only survivor of the residents who got caught up in it." At ground zero anyway. Fuyuki City while only being a moderate sized town in my home world would have been considered massive in this world. So far the only city I'd seen here to match it was the capital of Tristain. The block I lived on was about the size of a normal sized village in these parts, and had probably three times as many people considering the Japanese tendency to build up and stack households on top of each other. Telling them my town was destroyed would probably give them enough to work within their heads.

"Che," Agnes grimaced while making a disgusted sound. "Flame mages," she said, and the words sounded like an oath in her mouth. Across from her, Henrietta winced slightly. I got the impression that there was some history here that I was unaware of, but didn't particularly care.

"To be fair," I pointed out, a grimace of my own. "Most of it was done by the Servants themselves. We do tend to be a little destructive on our own, though some more than others," it was my turn to wince a bit. "And when Servants battle, it definitely can get very messy." It all depended on the noble phantasms, and whether or not they were anti-personal, anti-army, or anti-castle. Agnes snorted at that.

"As though swordsmen like us could ever deal the sheer destruction that a flame mage could," she argued. Definitely some history here. Besides Agnes, Louise winced. She knew full well that I had destroyed a hill by accident with one attack, and that even if she hadn't sank the invading fleet, there was a good chance I could have done it if I needed to. I didn't bother to argue.

"Whatever the case was, I was in bad shape there. The fire had already claimed most of the town around me, and I was on my last leg," my voice was soft, reminiscent, but strangely devoid of bitterness. "While I was like that, one of the mages, the one who had won found me. He had seen the devastation that he had helped make and the moment he had defeated the other mage he had began to desperately search for any survivors that he could rescue. I was the only one he came across, and even then it was a near thing."

I rested my head on one hand, and took a sip of tea. I wasn't looking at the table any more. Instead, I was looking at a memory: one of my first clear ones. I described it to the table. "It was the expression on his face as he found me. He had been desperately searching for anyone, anything he could rescue in order to atone for his hand in it. When he found me, on the verge of death, the sheer joy in his expression, the absolute happiness in being able to save even one person, well, it stuck with me. I was delirious at the time, badly wounded, confused by what was happening, but I remember being able to think, 'I wish I could look that happy'." I shrugged, coming back to the present. The three girls were watching me carefully, their expressions varied.

Louise was watching me carefully, her cheeks still flushed with the alcohol she had drunk. Henrietta had her eyes fixed on the cup in her hand, her thoughts her own. It was Agnes, who was watching me as carefully as Louise who spoke up.

"Then what happened?" the swordswoman asked. Her own expression looked bitter, but she held a strange half smile of her own as she watched me.

I sighed, and threw back the rest of my tea and brandy, then held the cup out to the blond. She refilled me, and this time I drank the booze straight. "He adopted me, abandoning his own family to do so. He raised me as best he could, refusing to teach me magic until I begged him enough. I think the only thing he wanted of me was that I never end up doing the same as him. But I was still pretty young, so instead of just living a peaceful life like he wanted, I decided to try and be able to save someone just like he had me. A few years later he succumbed to the wounds the other mage managed to give him before he had escaped and died." I took a sip. "I still bear his name: Kiritsugu Emiya."

Agnes grimaced. "So you forgave him? The one who was responsible for the death of your parents and the burning of your home?" she pressed me, leaning forward as she did so.

I shrugged. "Forgave him? I suppose. It was never his intention for things to turn out like they did. He did his best to atone for it, and in the end died because of it. By the end of it there just wasn't any point in holding a grudge against him, I suppose."

There was definitely something here that was rubbing Agnes the wrong way. She sneered at my explanation for my forgiveness. "And the other one, the one who was defeated and got away. Did you forgive him too?" she snorted, glaring at me in contempt.

I smiled again. This one was a great deal less kind that the expression I wore when talking about my father. "No. I tracked him down a few years later and put eight inches of steel into his heart." I took a sip of brandy. "Then I activated the latent magic stored in the blade and caused it to release in an explosion which blew most of his torso into small gory chunks the consistency of morning fog." My smile widened. "His last wordss were shock when he realized he had been killed by a blade he had given to the one who gave it to me in the first place."

"Ah," Henrietta said uncertainly, looking at me askance. "You sound rather," she paused to search for a word, "satisfied with the experience." Agnes looked like she agreed, and her expression had gone from disgust to a kind of happy nostalgia.

"Yes," I admitted shamelessly. "It was quite possibly the most satisfying kill I've ever made. Even to this day, I still get a warm happy feeling thinking back on it."

"I'll drink to that!" Agnes declared happily, pouring a shot of brandy into her own empty cup and raising it to me. I clinked the porcelain against hers and we both threw back our drinks in celebration.

"Now then!" Agnes said, completely missing the contemplative mood that Louise and Henrietta had slipped into at my story. She turned to Derflinger, switching her empty cup with his cooler full one. "You said something about dirty jokes, right?" she asked eagerly, addressing the sword easily.

It only took two of the raunchiest stories I'd ever heard before Henrietta had moved past my tragic revelation of my past and was now blushing to the roots of her hairs while giggling helplessly. Three more after that was enough to drag even Louise from her contemplation, leaving her a sputtering indignant mess as she tried desperately to stop the sword from further corrupting her princess. Agnes laughed uproariously, and I was left wondering just how we were going to get everyone home and in one piece.

*Scene Break*

It took Louise almost no time at all to fall asleep that night. When she did so, it was in a room empty except for herself. After the amount of alcohol that the four of them, five plus sword, had managed to consume, Shirou had been forced to volunteer himself to walk the other two visitors back to the palace. And despite the fact that she really had hoped to stay awake longer than that in order to think about the revelations her Servant had made, unfortunately for her resolve she just didn't have it in her to resist the drowsiness the liquor had instilled in her.

Strangely enough, that night Louise didn't dream of swords and battle for the first time in what felt like ages to her. Perhaps it was the liquor that did it, or perhaps, and more likely, it was Shirou's haunting story of his past that did it, but that night, Louise dreamed of fire and ash.

Words didn't do it justice. Louise had thought she had understood what it must have been like while listening to her Servant's quiet explanation, thought she had comprehended his reluctance to speak of it. She had been wrong. Nothing could have prepared her for this. This was what hell looked like.

Saying there was a fire didn't properly describe the sheer overwhelming heat, the oppressive roasting hotness that weighed down every inch of the landscape. It didn't describe the fierce bright light that scorched the eyes, nor the oppressive smoke that hovered on the ground, that rose billowing into the air, the way it choked the lungs until every breath was an aching burden to take.

To say that he had been the only survivor didn't accurately describe the sheer horror of those who had fallen. She saw bodies, some still living through some kind of nightmarish miracle, who flailed weakly, their flesh having been melted down into unrecognizable shapes. Charred limbs, some of them still twitching, naught left of them but bone and ash, laying freely on the ground, or poking like macabre monuments out of rubbish and wreckage.

And to say that he had been near death didn't describe him either. Louise watched in her dreams as she saw the small boy that would grow into her strong Servant as he walked aimlessly through the nightmare landscape. His own flesh was scorched, blistering in the heat despite the wide birth he gave the still roaring fires when he could. His clothes were charred, sticking to his own wounds grotesquely. His eyes were vacant, lacking even the strength to blink the smoke from his eyes, and the water to tear up and try to protect them. As he walked, the screams of the dying echoed to him, calling for him to help them, or calling for him to join them, or just calling for him to acknowledge them. Limbs reached for him, some just appearing to stretch for him due to the wavering of the heat as they owners of the limbs were long dead. Others still had life in them, trapped in wreckage as they roasted, the parts of them that were free desperately trying to entice the boy to pull them free, or perhaps just come close enough so that they could pull him in.

As Louise looked on, bile rising in her throat, she realized that this, not the day he had been birthed from his forgotten mother's womb, was the day her servant had been born. He had already admitted to having no memories before this. This was the first thing he could recall, the moment that he had came into existence, springing fully grown like some kind of nightmare faerie from the inferno of brimstone around him.

Her servant had always had inhuman qualities to him. It was something she had noticed before in the past. She had wondered before on his absolute ability to think of himself as nothing but a weapon. If he was a weapon, then this was where he was forged, the furnace of a blacksmith that had shaped him long before he had ever picked up his first blade himself.

Similarly, his willingness to die, his eagerness to find the hill of swords suddenly didn't seem so strange anymore. Compared to this, then the quiet of a hill laced with blades didn't seem so sad any more. It seemed almost peaceful. And if that hill were to take him back to his girl in blue, then it was indeed something worth searching for.

When Shirou returned, the soft noise he made managed to stir Louise enough for her to awaken from her nightmare. He made no noise when she chose to sleep by him again, seeking the protection she instinctively attributed to him.