Two chapters since I'm late posting this!


Chapter 12: Phone Calls

"Rain. Please talk to me-" But I cut him off.

"I'm not going to mention anything regarding you, I just need someone to listen to me for once." I just needed something to stop my anxiety and guilt. Someone to understand. Something to just keep me grounded in the present.

"Is everything okay?"

"No." The cold rain caused a shiver to run down me. Both Finnick and I noticed the low temperature just now.

"Let's go inside." I followed him, seeing for the first time the interior to his home. It represented him well. The floors were marble instead of my hardwood, the walls a golden creme colour, and accents of blue in the dining room to the left of the entrance. His study was open and had dark purple walls, dark wood and light floors and paintings. The living room held a classic yet modern feel with leather couches and fine detailed decorations. It was pleasant and still looked like he had lived in it. Mine still looked too brand new.

"It's... There are so many people counting on me for things. I don't know if this is what I want to do." it was somewhat along the lines of the truth, a little twist here and there as to what I was talking about: my prostitution.

"Well if it's not what you want, what is?" We were making tea currently. I wanted Seneca right now, but tomorrow was the tour date. I couldn't leave or Snow would have my head on a silver platter. It was all too much.

"I don't know any more. I just want to be happy, but I want my family to be happy. And if it is at the cost of my own-"

"Either way, you're wondering if it's worth it." he stated exactly what I couldn't, but was able to combine all my thoughts into one.

"Can I..." This was difficult, but I didn't want to spend another night knowing my father hated me, my mother didn't know who I was, and April hated that I never told her anything anymore.. She shouldn't see me like this. "Can I stay here tonight?" My eyes were burning again as they had earlier, and down my face I felt a warmth from tears.

"Sure! Sure, it's no big deal." He swallowed some of the mint tea. "I'm just wondering if it's awkward, or-"

"For right now, I really don't need any drama, arguments, or heartbreak I just need the only other best friend I can think of to help me work through this." my spoon stirred around the honey and sugar in my own cup.

"I'd be honoured to be that friend."

"I made a mistake, telling someone something..." My father about Sen, "and I feel horrible and awful. I just don't want to live like this anymore." My emotions were overwhelming around me. I was angry, happy I was with someone, confused on what to say next, and conflicting in myself whether to let this man back in my life or not. "I don't know why I came here of all places." I said laughing at my own pity. "How do you do it?" My half chuckle half sob sounded strange in such a quiet house.

"Well, for one thing, I don't have a family to rely on, Mags is my only family. I don't have any siblings, or cousins to talk to. Annie's gone. Umm..." Hearing this acknowledged me to the fact he had it worse than I did. "I lost you, so now it's just me and the ocean."

"You don't have Ms. Minty panties?" I thought back to those months ago when I first came to this house and met her. "Sorry-" shouldn't have said that-

"Who?" this smile of his wasn't familiar.

"A few months ago I came here to see you, but some woman answered the door and spoke to som man named 'Finnie.' I assumed it was you."

"I had some Capitol people staying at my house for a week or two for their honeymoon. They wanted to see what Four was like, so I offered my house as their getaway. I was in the Capitol for that time."

"Oh god. Oh no..." because I had made the assumption it was him that woman was talking to, I took revenge by sleeping with Seneca. But it wasn't even Finnick that time. Oh my god...

"What?"

"I... made a mistake... A huge mistake..." If I had stayed here that week, Fin would have come back, and I could have avoided the hatred for him, the emotional damage, bringing Seneca into this, and wouldn't have needed that time in rehab.

"You can shower here if you want. I might help you relax and detox from everything." The silence for the past two minutes were deafening, but I couldn't bing myself to say anything after that discovery. He wasn't who I thought he was. But I was exactly that.

"Thank you Finn..." I gave him a quick touch on the shoulder while using him to hoist myself of the couch. He had his heart in the right places, he just struggled to show it sometimes.

The hot water off the shower felt amazing the second I stepped in. It surrounded me in a cloud of warmth and moisture as my eyes and relaxed every muscle in my body. The steam helped sooth and calm my stressed and cramping shoulders.

What have I done? How could I look at Seneca the same way after this? He had been my excuse for being impatient, hate filled, and impulsive. Was there still a chance for Finn and I? I can't think like that. Not after everything Sen and I have gone through together. I had an entirely different personality when with My Capitol boyfriend. Was that a bad thing?

Opening my eyes I noticed I was on the floor of the shower with my knees to my chest. I was crying and the water was pounding over my face, blurring my vision. There was a knock at the door from the only other person in the house.

Clearing my throat, I answered over the sound of the water.

"Yes?" it was probably muffled.

"I've got some clean clothes for you when you're done. A t-shirt pants and a sweatshirt if you needed it at all." He paused. "Did-... did you need anything else?" I thought of what else I may need. I was only spending the night, and tomorrow was the tour, so there wasn't much needed if I was returning tomorrow. "Like underwear-?"

"No. I'm fine thanks." I shut off the shower and quickly dried my body with the towel laid out for me. It smelt clean and similar to lilies. I then opened the door to find him leaning on the frame with the clothes. He looked as tired as I felt, but he still had a smile in his eyes upon seeing me. "Thank you."

"I found this by your coat. It must have fallen off your neck when you took your scarf off?"

"No. my pocket."

"Where did you get it-?" I'll just stop him right there.

"Thank you for the clothes." and I shut the door in his face.

A few minutes later I felt sorry for doing that, so I made my way down the stairs to see him finishing his dishes from our earlier conversation. He was only asking simple things, I was just pestered too much from the earlier week and too tired to answer properly.

"Hey, you have a phone here right?" he looked at me confused.

"Yeah, don't you?"

"Yes, but I left mine in the Capitol and my dad keeps his eye on the house phone at all times. Can I use yours to call someone?" Finnick wouldn't know what I was talking about, but I knew he'd give me what I wanted.

"Sure." he slowly made his way to the phone, drying his hands before grabbing it and handing it to me.

The first person to call was dialed out of habit. It rang as I moved myself from the bathroom to the hall near the banister. Finnick was doing dishes so he wouldn't hear my conversation. Just as the phone picked up, I heard the sink shut off.

"Seneca Crane." his response whenever he answered the phone. I didn't respond at first, gathering my voice again. It was nice to hear him again after a few days. I had called him before telling my father, talking about what was going on with the trades up there, how the weather was here and our daily routine of the past week from each other. "Hello-?"

"Hi. It's me..." He'd know who it was.

"I've been trying to call you this whole week! I thought you were dead somewhere, god." I laughed but it let my stuffed nose show. "What's wrong?" already he knew why I had been calling him. My throat clenched up and closed. It was straining to speak any further.

"My dad hates me."

"What? I'm sure he doesn't-"

"No I told him about you, and he was yelling and screaming in front of April. I didn't know what to do..." Clearing my throat helped vocally, but I couldn't keep my eyes from tearing up. Everything was falling apart.

"Did this happen just now?"

"No. no... It happened yesterday."

"Did you tell your father how well we do know each other?"

"He said it didn't matter, and was still furious. He thinks you're taking advantage of me-"

"I'm not-"

"I know, I know." Never once did he use me or force me to do anything or be anything. Everything we did was a joint effort and relationship.

"Did he at least like your necklace?" I let a sad laugh escape.

"Troy tried taking it from me," after I told Troy, he argued the same things dad had. And when he saw me fondling my necklace he asked to see it. I said no, but he insisted saying Seneca would be nothing but someone who wanted sex and to buy me things. After that he tried grabbing my necklace only to break it from my neck and throw it on the floor in his spite and anger. "And in the meantime... he broke it." The symbolism in Troy doing that shown me he was unhappy with his own relationships if he was rude enough to try and break mine. A hiccup shook me.

"I can have it fixed next time you're up-"

"I just don't know what to do, Sen. I thought they'd be happy to finally see me." Finnick might be listening, so I tried keeping my crying to a minimum. "I just miss you." What I found was myself saying this out of habit, but was it from my heart? I had so much power right now. I could break this off if I wanted. I could confess everything to him and see what he thinks. Or I could lie, like everything else.

"I'm sorry I can't be there. I wish I could. I'll see you in a few days-"

A small creak in the floor notified me Finnick was waiting. If he heard my conversation, then no longer was he a person I was able to trust easily. I thought I knew him well enough to let me keep my own secrets. He was never questioned by me about his as he left me with mine.

"Listen, I have to go okay?"

"I'll see you soon. I love you." Everytime he said those three words, goosebumps and a bush was sent all over my face and arms. Right now, it just made my stomach lurch. I couldn't say it back.

"Goodnight, Sen."

"Goodnight." and I hung up. Finnick was probably wondering who it was I was speaking to. He needed to mind his own business. He knew nothing about me. Why should I let him in now? "If you're going to listen I'd expect you to be quieter." He remained silent on the stairs

"If it has you this upset-"

"This isn't any of your business, you know that-"

"I have always been your friend, Rain. Whether you wanted it or not. If you think for a second that I wouldn't stop caring, you're wrong." There was no hiding my face now from him. He stood the hallways length away and looked at my eyes. "I blame myself for Grey, so I have to fix that mistake."

"Maybe there's something wrong with me if I can' see why people are ignoring me and treating me like I'm no one. All I'd ever done was try and be seen by my parents but my brothers always stood right in front of me. I never got noticed, never picked for anything, never had any friends, and never even had a boyfriend growing up. The games ended up giving me all of that, except the fact my family is still broken." He wanted me to be honest? I'll tell him everything. Everything I still had pent up from returning from the dark days of mine.

"You had people before all this-"

"Yeah, well they're all dead." What is it with these pesky emotions? And why do they always have to express themselves in the most inconvenient ways? I despised all of this. I felt him encircle me with his arms. It was too natural for him to touch me or hold me, and for me to equally want him to. I shouldn't let myself be this happy.

I can't afford it.


So... How was that bombshell for ya'll? What do you think's going to happen next? Let me know!