Chapter 12
Thanks Again
"Uh," I let out a groan as I splash cold water onto my naked face. I looked up into the mirror. I was a mess. I was beginning to get bags under my eyes, and I just looked tired and out of it. Oh how I felt out of it too.
I can't stand it. I can't stand it anymore. The past few days have been really hard for me mentally. I've just been fustrated with everything. My father has turned into a liquid, and I'm unable to grasp, let alone hold onto him and his problems.
I don't remember ever moving away from from the mirror, but I found my self standing in front of my father in his room. This is the first time I actually got to see his face since the last time I saw him at his desk with his blood shot eyes. He's kept me shut out for the while, not speaking to me, not seeing me, not listening to me. His eyes are the same, but his demeanor seemed changed for the worse. He was like a zombie. He was obviously physically alive, but totally dead at the same time. Seeing him like this was killing me. I didn't want to lose him.
"Dad," I tried to keep my voice strong, but when it came out I could feel it waver, frail and weak. I looked back into his eyes. He seemed to be looking back into mine, but I could tell he was looking straight through me, like I wasn't there. He seemed to be engulfed in his own little world where only his greif exsisted and ate at him day by day. "It's not your fault, so stop it-" I choked on my own voice, and tears were slamming against my eyes wanting to be shed. I tried to keep myself composed, and seemingly strong. "Just stop being like this," I couldn't hold the tears back as they all crashed against my barriers. They spilled.
As I cried I couldn't think of anything else to say to him. I doubt he was listening in there anyways. He hasn't said anything back to me and still stands not moving, just staring.
It was heartbreaking to finally come the the realization that I coudn't do anything. I was powerless in this situation now. I've already done all I could to breach his walls, and try to lead him back, but I knew he wasn't going to move anymore. He was a large boulder stuck to its spot, unwilling to move under any amount of force.
"I'm sorry, Asami," I guess I should've been elated to hear those words, to hear him talk to me, to hear him apologize, but it wasn't him. He took strides towards me, and I was shcoked to know I was acutally scared of him at that moment. With every stride he took I took one back. Before I knew it I was past the threshold of his room, and he stood inside, the corridor seperating us. We stood for seconds that seemed turned into minutes.
I tried to search for him, but was cut short when he closed the door on me. Any connection I was still trying to grasp seemed to be cut like scissors to a string, but I wasn't going to give so easily. I walked away from his room, but I wasn't going to give up on him just yet. He was the only family I had left. I would get my time with him soon, rather he or myself likes it or not, but I just needed a break from all this.
I went to my room, and got my phone. I wasn't quiet sure what to do, but I knew I didn't want to be in the estate right now. Before I knew it my fingers were over Korra's name in my contacts.
Um...Do you mind if I stay over at your place? I asked. It took only a few moments for her to text back.
No, not at all, but is something wrong Asami. Why do you want to come over? -Korra
I just need to get out of the estate for a bit that's all... if your still suspecting I'll just tell you when I get there ok. I gave a wry smile for knowing she was still probably going to probe me for answers.
Ok see u soon... hurry up :)- Korra
I don't know if it's a Korra thing, but she was really good at bringing up the mood, even through text. I was glad to know she was there for me. She was there to pick me out of the mud, and she was the only one that has ever done it while everyone seemed to walk past me. I was really happy I had Korra.
I packed all that I thought I would need for the night and the morning, and made my way out the door without giving anyone a notice as to where I was going. I doubt my father would really notice, but this was to get my father off my mind for the time being so I didn't worry about it, or more like try not to worry about it.
I walked over to Korra's in my sweats, and my coat. It was cold, and dark except for the street lights that helped my find my way to her house. I made my way up the steps to her door, and rang the door bell.
"Korra! Door." I could hear a womens voice yell. 'Probably her mom' I thought, and then I just remembered that I've actually never met Korra's parents.
The door was quickly pulled open, and I smiled when I saw Korra. Her eyes were bright as always, and she wore her crooked grin. Her hair was out facing different directions, like she was either just wrestling, or just got up from a long nap.
"Hey," she smiled and reached for my bag. I pulled them back out of her reach, and she gave a small pout. I smiled mentally at it. I coudn't quiet place it, but I was just crying a few moments ago, and now I found myself smiling at every aspect of Korra. She could just do that to me.
"I think I can carry a bag by myself, Korra," I smiled back and walked into her house. I walked in to meet her parents. Her father had a strong stature and broad shoulders, while her mother was slimer.
"Asami, these are my parents, Seena and Tonraq," she gestured to them. "Mom, dad, this is Asami Sato."
"It's nice to finally meet you. Korra can't ever shut up about you," Senna smiled and laughed because she caused Korra to blush. I gave out a small laugh too. I wonder what she tells her parents about me. I hope it's nothing about my problems or anything. I didn't want to come off as a person with a lot of problems and that's sad a lot because I did have a lot of problems, but I'm still trying to escape sadness. I don't want to be like my father.
"You're right Korra. She is pretty," her father smiled wide, and caused Korra to blush more feriously. I smiled, and remembered I wasn't even wearing make-up anymore. I blushed. Did she tell her parents I was pretty? I mean I did try to look nice most days, but I didn't think she would necessarly use that word to describe me; more like smart; nerdy; obsessed with work maybe?
The enviroment felt really good. Refeshing just like Korra's scent. Well I was in her house. I just couldn't really place it. Everyone has that vibe and feel to them, and Korra's family was just up lifting, and I was really grateful for it. I needed to be helped up from this mess, and Korra was always there to help. I liked it.
"You can put your stuff over here,"she waved me over, and I followed her into her room.
This was the first time I've ever been into it. I wasn't surprised to see that it was blue. The room and its furniture were either different shades of blue, or a color that just complimented blue. The color and feel was really soothing, like hearing the waves over the sand. I was taken aback to have realized there wasn't a guest bedroom like at the estate or anything.
"You don't have a guest bedroom or something?" I really didn't want to intrude into Korra's stuff, or make her sleep on the couch or something because of me.
"We have other rooms, but they're taken up with sparring mats, or bookshelves," she rubbed the back of her neck. "You can take my bed. I'll get the futon," she gave a small smile, and left the room to go get it. At least she isn't sleeping on the couch, and I'll still have her company in the room.
I took a sit on her bed and set my stuff down. I took in more of her room and smiled to myself. It wasn't super big, but it wasn't small either. She had posters, and drawings hung on the walls. A lot of them having to do with soccer.
"Asami," the voice was muffled, but I could tell it was Korra, so I walked over into the hallway. I laughed at the sight of her. She was obviously trying to carry the whole futon instead of easily sliding it on the floor, and it went lopsided and was beginning to topple over her. "Don't laugh, just help...please," I still laughed, but after composing myself a little, I pulled it off her.
"You know it would've been easier to just slide it," I told her as I took it and slid it into her room.
"Uh-umm...yah," she stuttered. I shook my head in amusment. She took the futon from me and set it down on the floor next to the bed. I walked over and laid down in it. It seemed to engulf me with Korra's scent. It felt reassuring like always, and warm.
I turned over to see Korra sitting with her legs crossed on the futon. "Are you okay, Asami," she asked. Her complexion was totally different from the moment in the hallway. She seemed really worried and concerned, and for what? Me?
"I'm fine now. I jus-"
"Are things okay with your dad," she cut in with her brows furrowed.
"Yeah- no- it's just complicated now," I put my head down wanting to avoid her eyes again. They were just too blue, too Korra. I couldn't really bring myself to explain everything that has happened since I last told Korra about it. It was like going back into the pool of non sense after I was already pulled out.
I didn't see but felt Korra settle next to me. I was glad for her support, and before I knew it I was leaning up against her. My head settled on her shoulder. I found myself leaning on her because so many things now, and I wondered if she ever really minded it. She didn't pull away or squirm uncomfortably, but she leaned onto me too. It was good to know I wasn't the only one leaning.
"Are you tired of it," I asked after a few moments of sitting against my only reassurance, Korra.
"Of?" she dragged out the word, and looked back at me. Her eyes seemed to be digging into me, but it felt good. That feeling of, I think it was admiration, swam through my stomach. I looked back focusing on her, her face. I knew she was always cute, but I've never noticed how beautiful she truly was, even if she still had a type of bed head going on.
I don't know how long we looked at each other, but I didn't think I would've minded if it were longer than a pair of best friends would look at each other. Realization hit me after a while, and I put my head down trying to hide my obvious blush.
After I composed myself, and got my rushing blood to a normal level of visibility, I cleared my throat. I looked back at Korra with a more serious expression.
"of-uh- well, of me?" I got it out. I think I was timid to ask her because I was scared of the outcome. It would probably like being hit with a boulder if who you consider your best friend, or even more than that maybe, sincerely says they're tired of you. I would've been thrown under the bus, just like my father has done multiple times, but I always found myself running after it with him. He was my dad after all, but if Korra denied me...I don't really know what I would do. It's like a even tie game on if I were going to run after it, or run away from it. I just didn't want to be hurt again, not again.
She took my hand, "Why would I be? You're Asami Sato, and I'm not just talking about the Sato part even though I love that part about you too, but you're Asami, one of the nicest, and most modest, caring persons I know," she waved her free hand in the air as if it was infinite, and she wore her crooked grin. "Like I said I'm going to always be there if you have to talk, Asami."
She had moved onto the futon now, and it was getting later than late now. We talked more, and the conversations usually turned back to my father, but as much as I tried to get out of it Korra won every time. I did my best to avoid any of the parts that seemed worse for me than others. I wasn't going to be pulled back into the pool, not now at least. After talking for what felt like hours, Korra has basically learned that my father was beginning to neglect me, but I didn't tell her anything about how dead he really was. I don't even think I could've brought myself to say those things anyways.
"I think we should hit the hay, Asami," Korra said as she yawned, and her eyes widened allowing me to look deeper. I don't know, but her eyes were like the cleansing that I needed, like I was pulled from the dirt, and I needed a nice shower. They were her eyes, they were her...
Korra sat up and turned off the lights. I laid back onto her bed, and sat looking up at the ceiling. I laid there for a while just looking into the darkness.
"Thanks again, Korra," I said quietly, still thanking her. I turned over to find Korra sleeping peacefully. I grinned at the sight, and turned back over to try and get some sleep.
"You don't have to keep saying thanks... You're enough," her voice waved over the room, and seemed to echo in my ear. I'm enough... "Night, Asami," I could feel her hand give my hand hanging over the bed a squeeze.
Author's Note:
Just wanted to say thanks to all my readers. If you already kinda have predicted where I'm going with this good luck because I'm not so sure myself...lol thanks for the support.
P.S. I do know or at least have a good idea where I'm going with this fic, but I'm more of a go with the flow, so I just write as I go with probably the vaguest idea in mind.
P.P.S. I just wanted to make a post post script because I haven't done one before so smiley face :D... THANKS AGAIN.
P.P.P.S. I didn't just name this chapter for this note. I wasn't actually planning on this note...it just happened because I thought I could express my gratitude to the readers.
