A/N: Sorry for the huge gap between updates. My computer froze and I lost the entire original version of this chapter and had to re-write it from scratch. I then sent my PC in to have it looked at and it took almost a week to fix. I'm not completely happy with the re-write but at this stage I just want to post what I have and move on with the story. I hope the pace is not getting too slow for everyone, and for that reason I have held back until I have the next chapter to post alongside as a double update. Thank you insanekitty19, hifield, Cry 4 Me and MissMayHem85 for reviewing my last chapter. I hope you are all still keen to keep reading after my absence. As a side note, if you want to poke holes in my knowledge of brain surgery in this chapter, then you probably won't have to look very far!

Ronon POV

"Ronon, you're just in time," Dr. Carson said as he appeared beside me. "I'm about to go over Sara's x-rays with her." He tucked a large envelope under his arm as he turned and began to walk. "Come with me," he called over his shoulder. I followed him in silence through the main hospital ward and then further on to a private room off to the side. There, I saw Sara propped up on a bed in the corner, surrounded by Shepherd, McKay and Teyla. They looked up as Carson and I entered the room and I saw that like myself, the three of them were dressed and ready to go off-world. I had not seen Sara since the sparring session in the gym the evening before, and I inclined my head towards her as she gave me a small smile. I took up position behind the others as I waited for Carson to start talking. He pulled up a stool and switched on a light connected to an illuminated board beside Sara's bed. "I assume you don't mind me going over this with everyone?" he asked her. She shook her head and he produced an x-ray from the envelope he carried and clipped it to the top of the board. "Alright," he began, "As Rodney and I suspected, the transmitter is attached to the occipital bone of the skull. The area of the brain that affects the memory is situated just above this in the cerebral cortex." He circled the area with a pen. "It appears the transmitter has extended small barbs to secure itself to the skull. From what I can see, one of these barbs has hooked beneath the occipital bone and is now pressed up against the cerebral cortex. Thankfully, the barb does not look to have pierced the brain tissue." He turned from the x-ray to face Sara, "Otherwise, we would most likely be looking at far more severe side effects than just memory loss."

Sara nodded her head and seemed to accept this news calmly. I found it difficult to believe she could be so impartial, and wondered how much of her composure was for the benefit of those around her. "Is there anything you can do for her?" I straightened up and asked.

"There is," Carson replied, "But it will require fairly complex surgery." He turned back to Sara as he continued. "If we lift the skin over the area, the transmitter itself should be fairly straight forward to remove. It's this barb here," he indicated the area on the x-ray, "That might prove more difficult."

"Is it necessary to operate?" Shepherd cut in. "I mean... is it possible if we do nothing her memory will return on its own?"

"To be honest, I can't be entirely sure," Carson admitted. "The fact the transmitter has been in place for over seven months and Sara has not regained any memory at all during this time, even despite its deactivation, would indicate probably not."

The room fell silent. "How do you plan to get the barb out?" Sara asked.

"Laser surgery," Carson replied. "Atlantis has the very best of advanced technology, as well as a team of highly skilled surgeons. The operation would not be without risk, but if you chose to undergo it, I am confident we can offer you the best possible chance of success."

Shepherd cleared his throat to speak. "I've already talked the possibility of an operation over with Dr. Weir," he told Sara. "Atlantis has agreed to give its full endorsement if you wish to go through with surgery. Whatever you decide to do, we want you to know that you have our backing."

Sara was quiet for a moment and I watched her think things over. "How long would the operation take?" she asked Carson.

"The transmitter looks to have four barbs, it would depend on how easy these are to extract," he explained. "I'd estimate you'd be looking at around two hours under anesthetic."

"Do you think removing the transmitter and these... barbs is all that is needed to bring my memory back?"

Carson shook his head slowly. "I wish I could tell you yes, but to be honest there is no way to know for certain. Even if we remove the transmitter and all four barbs, there is still a chance your memory may not return - or perhaps that it will return only in part."

Sara didn't reply, and Carson got to his feet. "I'll give you some time to think things over," he said. "There's no hurry to decide. We can operate if and when you feel ready." He patted the back of her hand as it lay upon the bed sheet and began to pack away the x-ray and clip board.

Shepherd straightened up and addressed the others in the room. "Right, looks like it's time for us to move out," he said. His eyes met with mine and I knew included me also.

"I'll be with you in a moment," I said as the three of them began to leave.

He nodded. "We'll be in the gate room."

I approached Sara's bedside and waited as the room emptied out. "So, what do you make of it all?" I asked when we were alone.

She shook her head. "I'm not really sure. I hate not knowing who I am, but the thought of surgery scares me."

I nodded. "Carson said there is still a chance your memory could return by itself," I reminded her.

"Yeah," she agreed. "But you heard him. I haven't remembered a thing the whole time the transmitter has been in place, so it seems unlikely." She thought for a moment, "What do you think?"

I was hesitant to give my opinion either way. The operation might concern her life, and I felt the decision should be up to her to make. "These people seem to know what they are talking about," I said.

She nodded. "I agree," she said, and then, unwilling to let the subject drop, she rephrased the question, "But do you think the operation is worth the risk? What would you do?"

I shook my head. "I can't make that decision for you," I told her. I tried to imagine how I would feel in her position, and I realized that no matter what had happened on Sateda, my memories were the only part of my people and my home world that I had left. I could not imagine how it would feel to lose them. "I think it must be hard not knowing where you come from." I told her.

She nodded. "I feel so frustrated at times. It's like I'm living in limbo, waiting for something that might never happen. I feel like I can't move forward until I can move back first." She smiled, "And now I know I'm not making any sense," she said.

I smiled back at her, but didn't reply. This was something she needed to work through herself; anything I said would only complicate things. She lifted her hand and brushed her hair back from her face. "Okay," she said with a sigh, "I think I'm going to let them operate."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. I hadn't expected her to come to a decision quite so quickly. She turned to look at me, and I saw the resolve in her eyes. I knew she was set in her decision and it was unlikely that she would change her mind. "I understand," I told her.

We both fell silent for a moment, and I was conscious of the minutes passing by while the others waited for me in the gate room. I saw Sara glance towards the door and I knew she was aware of it too. "I don't have to go," I told her. "Shepherd will understand."

She shook her head. "There's nothing you can do. I'll be well looked after here."

I knew what she said was right, but it didn't make it any easier to leave. I nodded, and reached out to squeeze her hand gently. "Good luck," I told her.

She smiled, "You too."

I left her bedside before I could hesitate further. On my way out of the infirmary I sought out Carson. He was talking to one of his medical staff as I approached. "You got a minute?" I asked.

"Certainly," he replied as he broke off the conversation with his colleague. "What can I do to help?"

"If this operation goes ahead, who's going to be in charge?"

"That would be me," he smiled, "Although, I might add, my team are more than capable of performing the operation without my assistance."

I held his gaze for a long moment before I spoke again. "Just so you know," I told him, "If anything goes wrong, I'm gonna hold you personally responsible."

To my surprise, he nodded his head. "You have nothing to fear," he said. "Should Sara decide to proceed with the operation, I promise you she will be in the best possible hands."

I put my hand on my hip and held his gaze for a moment longer. "I have to go," I said, "But I'll be back to check on her later."

"Very well," he replied. "You can trust me to do my best by her until then."

I gave him a curt nod and left the infirmary.

XXX

"You did well today," Shepherd told me as we stepped out of the gate back onto Atlantis.

I nodded. The trip off world had not involved the wraith, but we had encountered instead a number of hostile villagers who lived hidden in a mountainside settlement. Although Shepherd had tried to negotiate with them, in the end we resorted to firepower to ensure our return to the gate. While we were away, Carson radioed through to inform us that Sara had requested he proceed with her operation. This was no surprise to me, but I was taken back to learn that he planned to do so almost immediately. I turned to Shepherd. Now that we were back at Atlantis, I was keen to check on her as soon as possible. "You mind if I head out to the infirmary?" I asked.

"Not at all," he replied. "The rest of us were planning to head down there soon anyway. We'll get cleaned up a bit and meet you there."

I didn't wait to hear more. I strode through the corridors and made my way towards the hospital. Carson looked up as I entered the main ward. "Well, hello again," he said. He did not appear surprised to see me, and I guessed he had been forewarned of my arrival.

"How is she?" I asked.

He gave me a broad smile. "I'm pleased to inform you that the surgery was a success," he said. "The procedure was shorter than we expected, and we managed to remove the transmitter and extract all four barbs without complication. I ran through the details with Sara when she regained consciousness about half an hour ago, and at the moment she is currently resting again."

"Can I see her?"

"Certainly, but try not to disturb her. She needs plenty of rest if she's going to make a full recovery." He pointed towards a doorway and I walked through to see Sara asleep on a bed in the middle of a tiny room. She was hooked up to a number of machines and a drip was fed into the back of her right hand. I stood over her bed and looked down at her. Her head was partly obscured by a thick white bandage, and she for the first time since I had know her, she appeared frail and small.

Carson came up behind me and checked a couple of the machines she was linked to. "Considering the nature of the surgery, she's doing extremely well," he told me, his voice low. "All of her vitals are stable and she appears to be resting soundly." He looked up as Shepherd, McKay and Teyla appeared at the small window outside the room. "Excuse me," he said, as he left me alone and went to tell the others of Sara's progress. A few minutes later, he returned to the room alone. "It's possible she might sleep from now right through the night," he told me. "In fact, it would be best if she did." He paused for a moment, "What I'm trying to say here is that you're waiting to speak with her, then you're probably going to be in for a very long wait. If you have other things you need to do, I'd recommend you go about them and I'll send word to you the moment she shows any sign of waking."

"Thanks," I said, "But I'll wait."

He raised his eyebrows. "Very well then," he conceded. "There's a chair in the corner if you need it."

I glanced at the black leather recliner and smiled. "Thanks," I said, and on impulse I reached out and slapped him on the back, "For everything."

"I can assure you, it was my pleasure," he replied professionally, but I could tell by his smile that he was pleased by my words. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have rounds to get back too."

I watched him leave the room and then I dragged the chair out of the corner and placed it beside the bed. A moment later I sat down and began to wait.

Sara POV

I opened my eyes cautiously. My head ached and my throat felt dry, but I certainly felt better than when I woke the first time after surgery. I lay in the semi darkness and tried to guess what time it was. If the near silence around me was any indication, it was probably late evening or early morning. A needle was inserted into the back of my right hand and I lifted my other to feel the bandage on my head. It started just above my eyebrows and covered most of my head, my ears included. My throat seemed to feel drier by the moment, and I turned to see if there was a glass of water on the bedside table. I paused in mid-movement as I suddenly noticed Ronon, asleep in an armchair beside the bed. I had not seen him until now because I was seated so high up and he was slouched down in the chair. I was so shocked to see him there that for a moment all I could do was stare at him. His head was tilted back and rested upon the top of the chair, while his long legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankles to rest against the metal railing of the bed frame. His hands lay loosely in his lap and the steady rise and fall of his chest indicated he was resting soundly. How many hours had I been asleep for? Had he been there all of that time? I pondered this as I looked up and saw Carson enter the room.

"Sara," he smiled, his voice low due to the silence in the ward next door. "I'm please to see you're awake." He approached the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty," I ground out, surprised by how hoarse my voice sounded.

"That's to be expected," he told me, and reached to pour a small glass of water from the jug at my bedside. "Here," he said, "Mind you sip it slowly. Give your system plenty of time to adjust."

I took his advice and swallowed just a tiny amount. The cool liquid immediately made me feel better and I cleared my throat a little so I could speak. "What's the time?" I whispered.

"It's a little after six thirty, I've just started the morning rounds," he replied. He stepped behind me to check the monitors and I saw him jot down a couple of notes on a small notepad. Beside him, Ronon suddenly stirred and we both turned to look at him. I thought he would wake, but he surprised me by shifting a little and then becoming still again. I smiled. "How long's he been here for?" I asked Carson.

"He and Colonel Shepherd returned to Atlantis late yesterday afternoon," he told me, an amused smile upon his face, "It would be safe to say he's been here pretty much ever since. I told him you would most likely sleep through until morning, but he was quite insistent that he stay." He raised his eyebrows at me conspiringly, "After seeing the man in action, I didn't feel inclined to argue with him."

I smiled. That I could understand. Carson dropped his note book back into his pocket and walked around the bed to where Ronon slept. "Now, do you want to wake the lion, or should I?" he asked

I shook my head gently. "No," I said, "Don't disturb him yet."

Carson looked at me like I had just lost my mind. "I don't think you quite understand," he said. "The man has been here all night. If we don't wake him now, I can assure you, he's not going to be pleased." He didn't wait for me to argue; instead he put his hand on Ronon's shoulder and gently shook him awake. Ronon came around with a start and jerked his legs back from the bed frame as if to stand up.

"Easy there," Carson said, "Sara's just woken up. I thought you might want to speak with her."

Ronon's posture relaxed a little and he pushed himself out of his chair to stand next to me. "How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

I was surprised to find him so worried, and I suddenly felt a little vulnerable under the intensity of his gaze. I could not understand why this might be; I had coped with the operation and everything else just fine until this moment, so it made no sense to tear up now that it was all over. No amount of rationalization seemed about to prevent the lump that formed in my throat though, and I tried to swallow so I could speak. "I feel good," I told him, and broke off as my voice waivered. He must have heard the emotion in my tone, because he reached out and closed his hand over mine. It was such a simple gesture, yet the warmth of his touch not only registered against my skin but somewhere deep inside my chest. I suddenly realized how naive I was to think I had faced the operation alone. How could I be alone when Ronon thought enough to stay by my side through the night? I didn't know why he would chose to do so; I only knew that I was glad that he had. Before I could delve into my feelings more deeply, Carson approached the bed and Ronon released my hand and stood back to allow him room. Grateful for the interruption, I let Carson to roll up the white sleeve of my hospital gown and slip a fabric cuff around my arm.

"I'm just going to take your blood pressure," he explained as I felt the cuff contract around my arm. I waited for a moment and then the band went slack again. "122 over 80," Carson informed me with a smile. "That's looking good." He shone a bright light into each of my eyes." Are you experiencing any dizziness or nausea?"

"No," I told him. "I've got a bit of a headache though."

"I can give you something for that," he assured me. "Now, before I go and check the other patients, do you have any questions you'd like to ask?"

"How long do you expect me to be in here for?" I immediately asked.

"At this stage, I would like you kept here under supervision for at least the next three days," he told me.

"Three days?" I repeated in shock.

He held up his hand to cut off my protests. "Your body and mind both need time to recover from the operation. I want you on complete bed rest until I can be sure we have done everything possible to aid your recovery." His expression softened as he looked at me. "We still don't know if or how your memory will return, Sara. You may recall fragments of things over an extended period of time, or it could all come back to you in a rush at once. Depending on what it is you remember, you might find it very hard to cope. Because we know nothing of your history, I would like you kept under supervision in the interim just to be safe." He looked at me in question, "Is there anything you recall now that you couldn't before the operation?"

I thought for a moment. "Not really. I still feel exactly the same as I did before."

He nodded. "It's early days. Try not to pressure yourself to remember and I'm sure things will return to you if and when you are ready. In the mean time, you have three days of relaxation to look forward to."

My heart sank again at the mention of the time I was to spend in bed. I looked to Ronon for back up, hopeful he might speak up on my behalf, but he just gave me a wry smile. "Sounds like you should listen to the man," he said.

I let out a sigh of exasperation and settled more deeply into the bed. Despite my current headache, three days of bed rest sounded like a cruel form of torture. I shot a frustrated look at Carson's back, but he did not seem about to revise his orders and a moment later he said goodbye and left the room.

"Well, I guess that's that," I groaned the moment he was gone. It wasn't that I didn't feel grateful for all that he had been done for me; I just knew that I wasn't one to sit around idle for long.

Ronon grinned. "Look on the bright side," he said, "It's pretty clear you're not on the run any more."

I rolled my eyes, "I know," I said. "Next time I'll be more careful what I wish for." I pushed myself carefully into a more upright position. "So, how'd it go yesterday?"

"You mean with Shepherd?"

I nodded. "What happened off-world?"

He shrugged. "We met some hostiles and then had to blast our way back to the gate."

I smiled. "Sounds like fun."

"It was," he agreed, and a slow grin spread across his face.

It suddenly dawned on me that he had already begun to form a bond with Atlantis and its people – a bond that so far I did not share – and I felt my earlier feelings of isolation begin to return. It was difficult to fit in with strangers when I knew so little about who I was. For all I knew, my own people might still be searching for me. I felt it extremely disloyal to unite with others and turn my back on my own kind without even trying to discover if they still existed first. For this reason, I held myself a little in reserve as Colonel Shepherd and Rodney entered the room.

"How's the patient doing this morning?" The Colonel asked as he acknowledged both Ronon and I with a nod of his head.

"I'm doing okay," I replied. There was no doubt that the concern he showed for me was genuine, and for that I felt torn all over again. He continued on easily, oblivious to my predicament.

"Glad to hear it," he said. "Carson tells us your prognosis is looking good."

Rodney lifted his hand to his chin and looked at me thoughtfully. "Although he did mention that you still have no memory recollection." He rubbed his chin with his forefinger as he stared at me, and I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or thinking aloud. "Interesting..." he muttered. "I wonder… is it possible the barb has left an indentation on the brain tissue beneath where it rested? This could explain why you still don't remember anything, despite the transmitter's removal." He removed his finger from his chin and waggled it in my direction. "I need to look into this," he told me, "Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back." And with that he spun on his heel and abruptly left the room.

I raised my eyebrows and looked after him as I tried to make sense of what he had just said. Colonel Shepherd saw my confusion and came to my rescue. "Don't mind Rodney," he said with a crooked smile. "He gets this way while he's working on a problem. It might take him a few hours, but if there's anything to discover you can bet he will be the one to find it." He lowered his voice, "Just don't tell him that I said so, alright?"

Despite my earlier feelings of melancholy, I smiled. It was hard to feel sorry for myself around people who were so affable and eager to help.

"Anyway," the Colonel continued, "I'm pleased to hear that you're on the mend. In the mean time, I was hoping to borrow your friend here," he gestured to Ronon, "To help me go over some combat moves with the men in the gym." I watched as he spoke to Ronon directly. "They were pretty impressed by what they saw yesterday and I hoped you might run through a couple of techniques with them while it's all still fresh in their minds?"

I could sense Ronon's eagerness to comply, and I suddenly felt guilty that I had resented him the chance to connect with people again after all he had been through and lost. I settled myself down a little lower in the bed and gave him a smile as he caught my gaze.

"I'll stop by again later," he said, indicating to me that he was leaving. I nodded, and watched as he and the Colonel left the room together. The day was beginning to start up around me and I could hear noises filter in from the hospital ward next door. I lay still for a while as I listened to them, and then I closed my eyes and slept again.