Chapter 12
Sam didn't have any luck finding Angela. Sasha did the best she could and followed the scent to near the main office of the motel and found a bunch of overturned trash cans. It looked like someone had been thrown into them and he could only guess that she had been in a fight or she just made a point. Sasha didn't give any indications of a threat but continued along.
Sam was confused when Sasha suddenly stopped and started whining. She kept circling and whining and sniffing. It then occurred to Sam that the dog lost the scent. Looking around he could see that it was fairly public. There was the possibility that she got into a car or something and he became worried. Something was going on or she was that pissed that she hitchhiked and was probably venting her frustration. He found that almost painful.
Suddenly his phone rang and he answered it, "This is Sam."
Hi. Um sorry about running off earlier.
"Angie? Where are you?"
I'm still in town. I figured that I would need a few things and I can surveillance. I did mean that I would do that.
"I know," Sam replied. "I know that. Dean… he's just concerned as am I…"
I know. Just… It'll be okay. I just need to take care of things and I'll be back.
Sam sensed that there was a lot going on that she couldn't or wouldn't say. He didn't like it but then again if he thought about it, he wasn't exactly forthcoming with his thing with Ruby and yet he suspected that she knew more than what they had talked about earlier. He replied, "Okay. I just wanted to…"
Family discussion when this is over. Okay? And you better get back to the room before Dean gets back.
"One of these days you're gonna have to tell me how you do that."
I know you both. Besides it's what I would do if it were either of you.
Sam gave a slight smile at that. She was right. "Okay. Just… be careful okay?"
That I promise.
With that reassurance, Sam headed back to the motel with Sasha. The pup seemed relieved that they were going back even though she was doing her job, whatever that might have been. The thing was Sam wasn't prepared to spend the rest of the day and all night sitting and twiddling his thumbs. Along the way, had a thought and it was related to what his suspicions about the phone call he received from Angela were. He had to know once and for all so he made a call.
About twenty minutes later there was a knock at his door. A look at Sasha and her posture told him that it wasn't a threat. He opened the door and there was Chuck standing there and looking very uncomfortable. Chuck asked, "You wanted to see me?"
"Yeah," Sam replied and let him in. "Thanks for coming."
"Yeah, sure," Chuck replied. He looked at Sasha who trotted up to him and sat, looking expectantly at him. Tentatively he reached down and patted her on the head. It was better this time around.
Sam observed Chuck and noticed how much more comfortable he was around Sasha than in the beginning. It had to be a puppy thing or something. There was no easy way to say it though so it came out a bit nervous, "Um… I was just wondering how much you know… About me."
Chuck looked up from his petting at the taller man. He heard the dog give a slight whine. "What do you mean?"
"Have you seen visions of me? When I'm not with Dean?"
Chuck thought about it and realized what Sam was getting at, "Oh. You wanna know if I know about the demon blood."
Sam felt like he had been exposed. "You didn't tell Dean," he replied more of a statement. He left out deliberately Angela since he felt like the world would end if she knew.
"I didn't even write it into the books," Chuck replied, "I was afraid it would make you look unsympathetic." The explanation sounded lame since he was dealing with the real deal and not something he thought popped into his head one day.
"Unsympathetic?" Sam felt a bit indignant at that.
"Yeah, come on, Sam," Chuck defended, "I mean, sucking blood? You gotta know that's wrong." He paused and looked at Sam and could tell that he knew and it was a battle waging inside of him. There was also something else and now it seemed the right time to say it, "I didn't tell her."
Sam looked at Chuck. He didn't ask but he wanted to know since she had spent more time with Chuck. She had a way of extracting information through casual conversation. She could have easily found out. "You didn't tell her?"
"She didn't ask," Chuck replied, "And… I get the feeling that you want to tell her."
"She… won't let me," Sam replied as he ran a hand through his hair. "I tried once and she said that I wasn't ready for that conversation."
"Well Absolution does things with a purpose in mind. That I wrote in if she was ever written in at all," Chuck countered gently. "I… I don't know that much about her really. All I get are disjointed parts that don't make sense until I get to the part of the story that it does make sense. I didn't even know Absolution was a 'she' but I always suspected it and sort or fantasized it being the girl in the painting and… you know."
Sam said nothing about that. He had read the books and noticed how it seemed that she just popped in like for convenience's sake. It did mention that she was there along for the ride but there were no details. No wonder she thought it amusing and probably a relief. That didn't matter though. This really didn't answer his burning question of whether or not she did know. "Does she know? Have you seen that?"
Chuck could tell that it was important to Sam that he know about what he knew. The truth would have to suffice even though it would probably not satisfy Sam at all. "I don't see her like I do you and Dean. I do know that she is a warrior and that is what I've seen. She knows what it means to be one. I'm sorry if that isn't what you want to hear."
It wasn't and it frustrated Sam. His and Angela's relationship was there but it felt aloof. It was like she was wary about something or she sensed something was off. She didn't bat an eye because he was talking to Ruby or even when she saw him pull that demon with his mind. It made him wonder at times if he pushed her away and she was respecting that but waiting there just in case.
Better that she find out from someone she trusts than someone else.
As much as he disliked Sacha, the vamp was right. He just couldn't bring himself to tell her or even ask her opinion. Yet talking with Chuck, he could see how easy it could have been if she had been nosy about what he knew. He replied, "It isn't but… I'll handle it."
"Better you than someone who knows and will use to turn you against each other. It would probably be… I don't know." Chuck shrugged his shoulders. "She would want to know. She likes to help."
"I know. The whole thing… It scares the hell out of me. I…" Sam took a seat. It was hard to describe it. "I mean. I feel it inside of me. I wish to God I could stop." He looked out the window feeling forlorn.
Chuck continued to study Sam even as Sasha got up and put her paws on his knee and lean in. Chuck could see that the dog seemed well aware of the feelings in the room and watched as Sam gave a sort of hug and rub on the dog before she sat completely down by him. "But you keep going back."
"What choice have I got?" Sam looked at Chuck.
There is always a choice Sam. Sometimes the best choice is the hardest and even then not everyone is happy.
Sam knew that conversation had a purpose and he thought about that often too when she made her decision to do things that seemed reckless. "If it helps me kill Lilith and stop the Apocalypse…?"
"I thought that was Dean's job… and hers. That's what the angels say right?"
Sam blinked at that. Dean never told him about that. It was a new thing to digest as he replied, "Dean's not… He's not Dean lately." There was no better way to put it. "Ever since he got out of hell, he… He needs help."
"Isn't that why she's here? She's supposed to help Dean."
"Angie…" Sam shook his head. He wasn't sure of what to think. "Angie… she scares me. I mean I'm scared for her. I get the feeling that she… she might let the whole thing swallow her whole… because she wants to protect me and Dean."
"Isn't that what she is supposed to be? So you gotta carry the weight?"
"Well he's looked after me my whole life," Sam admitted.
"And her?"
"Angie… I can't explain it. It's like she belongs with us and yet something is trying to take her away. She's been there like Dean and… I can't return the favor."
Chuck had crossed his arms over his chest. "Sure you can. I mean… if that's what this is. I know it may be hard for Dean to accept that but would she?" He posed the question since it was becoming clear that Angela meant something to Sam and he had trouble explaining it. He took the seat across from Sam.
"What else would it be?"
"I don't know," Chuck replied as he shook his head. "Maybe the demon blood makes you feel stronger. More in control."
Sam thought about it as he suffered Chuck's scrutiny. That wasn't it. He shook his head as he replied, "No. That's not true."
Chuck leaned forward, "I'm sorry, Sam. I know it's a terrible burden, feeling that it all rests on your shoulders."
"Does it? All rest on my shoulders?" Sam felt his throat convulse as he swallowed. Absently he reached for Sasha and rubbed his fingers on her ears.
"That seems to be where the story is headed."
"Am I strong enough to stop Lilith tonight?"
"I don't know. I haven't seen that far yet." Chuck looked down at the table and sort of scratched the table. "But… if Absolution is real as what you have found out so far, then you would know that… she can and will fight Lilith… to the death if necessary."
"I can't let that happen," Sam shook his head in a definite negative. "Not her. She's had enough crap, about five centuries worth…"
"And she's died and come back," Chuck interrupted. "It is her story Sam and one I can't see like yours but… I think she knows how Dean feels and she knows how you feel. You ask the questions but not the one she wants you to ask."
Sam thought about it as he mulled it over. He knew he was getting stronger. Ruby had indicated as much. He could take on Lilith and he knew better than the last time. Yet the sticking point had to do with Angela. He didn't want to see her hurt any more than he had.
"Hey do you do that all the time?"
Angela looked down from the sky she had been looking up at. She sensed something was out of place on the air and it had nothing to do with the fact that she now knew what fugly she was dealing with and the fact that Lilith was coming. It was like something was wrong… with Sam but it wasn't distress like the physical danger kind of thing. She couldn't quite place it.
She had been musing at that when she dropped by the house. Charlie had motioned her to come to the backyard since that would shield them and any conversation they may have. Charlie's interruption broke her out of it and she looked down, "What?"
"Do you space out like that all the time?"
Angela pondered about it and then replied, "Um… it's something that happens when I sense something."
"You don't have to treat me like a baby. I'm ten you know," Charlie replied. He was holding a wooden statuette of a hawk. He rubbed his fingers on the grooves.
Angela smiled at him. "No you're not. I forget because I had to take care of another kid that I didn't want to grow up too soon." She paused as she thought of Hibah and the complete trust and love that little girl had for her. Now this kid and his grandfather were exhibiting the same thing for her to protect the kid. "I do space out when I sense something and usually when it has something to do with someone I care about."
"The tall guy with the long hair."
Angela blinked in surprise, "What?"
"The guy you were talking to before you left Chuck's house earlier." Charlie fondled the carving like it was delicate bird. "He is worried about you. I could tell."
Angela sighed and her lip twitched, "I know. They both are and it isn't easy with everything that is happening and going to happen. I'm just afraid that a rift that began so subtle will grow and…" She shook her head as if not sure what to say.
"He likes you," Charlie said.
"Of course they do. We're family."
Charlie shook his head. She was completely missing the point. "Not what I meant," he muttered to himself. Louder he said, "Then why do you feel like you have to keep them at arm's length? Why not tell them about me?"
Angela raised her brow as she looked at Charlie, "Why would I do that?"
Charlie shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Maybe it's because they are your family and you look like the kind of people that tell everything especially when you have a problem."
"You're pretty perceptive and sounds like a bit nosy," Angela replied with a slight smirk. She had her arms crossed over her chest as she looked down at him. It made her jacket flare a little but that did little to hide her chakram.
"I learned to observe." Charlie then looked at her waist and noticed her chakram. He pointed at it, "What's that?"
Angela looked down at her waist. She looked up and around. The elders hadn't arrived yet and she didn't want to start this without a backup plan. She then replied, "It's my chakram." She took it off and held it out for him to see. "Careful, the edges are very sharp."
"Neat." Charlie took the weapon and looked at it. The engravings were interesting since he had never seen anything like it before. He pressed his finger gently on the edge and could feel how sharp it was. The design itself down to the color of the metal was unique. He had never seen anything like it before. "So you actually use this?"
"I do when I have to… and my friend Sam knows how to use it too."
"Cool. You taught him right?"
"Not exactly," Angela replied with a slight smile.
"What? Some spirit possessed him like my dad and taught him how?" Charlie sort of chuckled when he said that even though it hadn't been a good experience with what had happened to his dad.
"It wasn't a spirit. It was a god. My… adoptive father."
Charlie looked at her to see if she was kidding, "You're serious?"
Angela gave a slight nod. She accepted her chakram back and held it in her hands. She ran her nails on the edge and explained, "Hapi is an Egyptian Nile god. He is also a warrior god. He took me in and with his wife Satet, they trained me and one of the ways was how to use this. They called me daughter along with their daughter who is my sister."
Charlie listened to the story. It was strange but no stranger than the fact that he learned what had happened to his dad. He had grown up on the stories and his mom told him about meeting the warrior angel that would come to protect him. It sounded ridiculous and yet he found himself believing it was the truth. "So, those two guys you travel with… who are they to you?"
"Brothers," Angela replied automatically. She put her chakram on her belt and secured it. "Isn't that what your mother told you about me? That I am shared by all?"
"Something like that," Charlie replied with a nod. "So Grandpa and the elders going to help my dad?"
"Yes and I will keep you safe until it is done."
"And afterwards?"
"You live your life the way you want, with what feels right and go on to do what you are meant to do."
"What is that?"
Angela looked down at the boy. He was being serious and it looked like he really wanted to know that. She blinked and replied, "That I can't tell you. The truth is I don't know. For people the journey is written, not the destination. That is what it means to have free will."
"But… Mom knew you would come and Grandpa said that you came before and would come back. That doesn't make much sense." Charlie frowned a bit at that as he tried to make sense of it.
"They only told you what was predicted to come. There is something out of the Bible that people find comfort in," Angela replied. It was difficult to explain about the whole thing.
"You mean Ecclesiastes and the whole thing about a time and a season and purpose under heaven? I read too. When it's not school stuff, it's other stuff." Charlie grinned a little as he looked up at Angela. He sobered a little and asked, "Are you my angel like they say in that book?"
Angela looked down at him. This was exactly what she had dreaded would happen and she was betting that Zachariah and his dick ass brothers were puzzled and laughing over this. She was not an angel. She was not even close and yet she is called the earthbound angel and the word Malachi meant messenger which was another term for angel. Then there was her name. She picked it when she left behind her old self and didn't even think about it. It had been tied to a memory related to her mother. Now she was faced with a dilemma. Looking at Charlie she sighed and replied, "Charlie, I'm… not an angel."
"What do you mean?"
"I am not an angel," Angela repeated. She cleared her throat and continued, "I am not them. I am a dhampir, a half human and half vampire who happens to have healer abilities and a penchant for managing to cheat Death." She looked at Charlie and said, "So kid, I am not an angel but someone with the capability to keep you safe while we help your dad."
Charlie raised his brow in a frown. It wasn't funny even though it was tempting to laugh. He could see that she was serious. He looked down and thought a little bit and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he said, "You are an angel. Maybe not in the literal sense but you are one."
Angela studied the boy. She had noticed his behavior and when he looked up at her, it looked like he was sporting an older face. It sounded ridiculous in her thoughts but she saw that there was something off about the kid and it had nothing to do with possession. This was something that was different from that, like it was a part of the kid. He had the world written on his face for a brief moment and then all of a sudden it was gone. The assertion though was there as he expressed with conviction that she was an angel. She replied, "I don't think so."
"Like I said. It is not literal," Charlie replied just as firmly as before. His face fell a little bit, "But if you think like that, does that mean you won't protect me anymore after this?" He looked up at her wanting to know.
Angela paused and her mouth opened a little. She didn't know what to say. She was never one to leave anyone to flounder especially if they were important. She tried not to let pride prevent her from doing the right thing. Yet this kid was making it seem like it was one or the other. It didn't make sense to her but it… She looked at him and replied, "I don't know what you see and I probably won't for a long time but if you need help I will come and offer it. It's what I do. I protect those that can't fight for themselves and teach them how to defend themselves for next time."
"It sounds silly and maybe stupid," Charlie replied ever sounding like his ten year old self. He crossed his arms over his chest indignantly. "But you will see what everyone you've helped has seen. He will see it too."
Angela was going to say something when she frowned suddenly and looked around. She looked over at Chuck's house. Something was not right. It wasn't a demon threat. It would have felt different. This was… she instinctively let her hand reach towards her belt.
"What is it?"
Angela glanced at Charlie, "Possibly trouble." She walked over to the fence that separated the two backyards. She looked at it and the area around. She started backing up.
"Wait. Is something wrong? Is Chuck in trouble?"
"I don't know but I have to go."
"Then I'm going too." When Angela paused Charlie explained, "Hey, you're supposed to protect me while Grandpa does his thing. If that means going with you, then… I'm going."
Angela had to concede that. She was supposed to watch the kid but she couldn't turn her back on Chuck if he was in trouble. She sighed, "This is not a good idea but… okay." She put Charlie on her back and held his legs while his arms wrapped around her neck. It was probably easier to go around but the back way was open; she had left it that way.
She vaulted cleanly over the fence and headed towards the back door. She motioned that Charlie was to stay behind her no matter what. She marched into the living room just as she heard the unmistakable sound of Dean's voice shouting, "How the hell are you doing this?"
She shouted as Castiel did, "Dean, let him go."
A/N: Sam has his talk with Chuck and still as blind as a bat with regards to Angie. Keep watching for more on Will You Be My Angel...
