Summer passes. And by mid-fall, my gun shot wound is almost healed.

Rick and I don't talk much, and although it seems easier that way, to deny the way we feel and go on 'living', it's not.

I don't catch him staring at me anymore.

He doesn't try and kiss me either.

Judy is getting big, growing like a little weed - getting more and more pretty with each day that passes. She's grown on everyone, and we'd all do anything to keep her safe.

Carl too has grown, face beginning to mature, beginning to look more and more like his dad. He's happier still.

Everyone's made it another few more months.

I sigh and roll out of bed. And me? I'm just living, wondering why I had to push Rick away. I strap on my gun and knife, and head to the showers. Head pounding with a headache that hasn't really ever gone away, once I'm there, I begin to undress and then let the cold water rush over me.

I take care with what's left of my wound, and then close my eyes to think.

We both basically almost die, and what are we doing? Acting like nothing ever happened, like each of us never cared. Is it really as ridiculous as I think it is? I don't know anymore, and I let the tears of heartache and frustration fall.

I hear the door open and close.

'Shit.' I mutter. I know the showers are walled off, but I can't help but shake the feeling it's going to be a walker.

'Just me.' Rick calls.

'Oh.'

'I can leave. If you want.'

Always the southern gentleman. Always.

'It's fine, I was just about to get out anyway.'

I hear his boots on the floor as he walks over to the shower on the other side of the room. He can't see me; I can't see him. I hear the water turn on, and I hear him sigh.

I shut off the water, and walk over to my pile of clothes on the bench. I sit there in a towel.

'Pretty soon, it'll be too cold to shower in this water.' He calls over the hum and splash of the shower.

'No kidding.'

'Still, it is better than nothing.'

'You're telling me.'

All of our conversations were like this now. We were trying to be 'just friends'. We were trying to be hard to be something we weren't anymore.

I start to get dressed, pulling on my bra, panties, and jeans. I stand barefoot, and topless, hair dripping down my back, and I look in the small broken mirror on the wall, and the forming scar on my left shoulder.

In my own world, I don't hear his water turn off, and I'm surprised when I see him walking behind me in just a towel.

'Sorry, I didn't know-'

'It's okay.'

He keeps his head down and pushes past me, and I start to pull on my socks and boots, while I hear his jeans being zipped up.

I turn and look at him, holding his white t-shirt in his hands. We stare at each other, tension evident as he breaks the gaze to pull his shirt over his head.

'Okay, this is fucking ridiculous.'

I'm surprised by his words.

'What is?'

'Don't do that.'

'Do what?'

'That. Act like nothing is wrong with us. Act like you don't care.'

'I don't care? You can't even look at me, Rick.'

'And who's fault is that? I wanted this-' He motions to himself, than me. 'I wanted there to be an us, and what do I get? I get pushed away.'

'And what, you don't think I didn't want you? I was dealing with a lot, Rick.'

'I wasn't?' He puts his finger to his chest. 'Now what, Gwendolyn? Tell me.'

I bite my lip. 'I don't know.'

He looks defeated as he turns from me and begins putting on his socks. Then his boots. This is the first time we've really talked in months, and I'm blowing it - again.

He picks up his gun - same one he's always had, and without strapping it on, he walks past me.

'Rick, please.'

He ignores my plea.

'Wait!'

'What am I waiting for? Everyday I wait and wait for you and there's no end to it. Do you want me or not?!'

Hair wet and slicked back. Stuble thick across his jaw. Full lips and the most amazing eyes I've ever seen. He stands there, hoping for an answer, waiting, like he says he has been.

What am I waiting for? What am I doing? All I ever wanted is right in front of me.

I run to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, holding him tight. He pulls me back and pushes his lips against mine hard. There's not much speed to the kiss, but the passion, and intensity is enough to almost bring me to my knees. If he wasn't holding me so tightly, I'd swear I would fall.

He breaks the kiss almost too soon.

'Do you want me or not?' He repeats, this time breath short.

'Yes.'

With that being all he needs to hear, he lifts me up against the shower wall. And I'm not sure what happens exactly, but my back hits the sensitive tap, and water starts pouring down on us. Do I care? No. Does he? No.

He puts me down, but doesn't break the kiss, except for when his lips wander down my neck. I can't believe this is happening, but I don't think about it enough to really even doubt the fact that this is reality. He continues to kiss me, down my chest and across my cleavage. He slows down his kisses there, and slowly moves up to my shoulder, gently kissing my wound.

He pulls back and stares and me, breathing heavy. His eyes are shining, brighter than I've ever seen them. There's a hunger behind them, though, and I know I mirror his passion. He's worried he might go too far, that he might offend me, or that I might push him away.

I slip my hands under his wet shirt, feeling his bare stomach. I grab the hem of the wet material, and pull it over his head.

His lips hit mine again, and his fingers have little difficulty unhooking my bra, then unbuttoning my pants.

We stand naked, pushed up against each other, cold water raining down on our heads.

I feel him, hard against my leg, and before he can ask if I'm sure, I tell him I need him, every bit as much as he needs me. He lifts me, and I feel him enter. He closes his eyes, and softly moans. He's beautiful is the heat of this. And I just want to live in this moment forever.

'Rick..' I moan low and soft, in his ear, and it drives him wild. As he build up a rythym, I feel my heart beat quicken, and my breathing become heavy. 'Please, don't stop.'

I run my nails down his back. It'd been so long since I had been with someone, let alone someone his size, it was a little painful, but I didn't care. This was perfect.

Heat rising throughout my body, cries of pleasure getting louder, I let myself go minutes before he did.

'Gwen - Gwen.'

To hear him whisper my name, was more than I could ever ask for.

'I love you, Rick.'

'I love you, too.'