A/N: Guys, I am so sorry it took me forever to update this. I lost touch with the Harry Potter fandom for a while but after finally watching Deathly Hallows 1 again earlier today I managed to squeeze this update out of my brain. It is not much and goodness knows when I am going to do the rest, especially with NaNoWriMo just over a week away, but I do intend to finish this eventually. It is currently my only on-going piece and deserves a beautiful end. I hope you guys have stuck around all this time, as I have been a crappy author and ignored you all. Leave me some reviews if you're still here. I love you all. ~Cissy
Chapter 12
The weeks went by quietly. Hermione remained at home but was working all the same. The stress of not having to see Ron made her feel comfortable and as her baby bump steadily began to grow, the idea of being pregnant actually grew too and she began to enjoy looking at herself in the mirror in the mornings. Seeing the ever growing bump and the knowledge a small human being was actually growing in there was something she still could not quite comprehend. It was one morning when she stood in the kitchen making herself a glass of juice that she felt something she had not experienced before and her hand shot down toward her stomach. She felt it again.
"CISSY!" she called and looked around. Narcissa had not left the flat since their evening with Molly and Ginny and spent a lot of time doing research work for Hermione, which actually send her out into the society in a way that she had never done before. Being part of something was new to her but she enjoyed it. Hermione's hazel eyes darted around the empty kitchen and living room. "CISSY?"
"What is it, darling?" Narcissa said as she came walking in, clutching a scroll of parchment and a quill. Her eyes found Hermione's and she noticed the terrified expression. Quickly she crossed the distance between them. "Are you all right?"
"I-I don't know," Hermione stammered. "I just felt something." Her eyes narrowed and suddenly she grasped Narcissa's hand and placed it just to the right of her bump. "HERE!"
Narcissa held her breath and recognised the distinct feeling under her hand as something she had once experienced herself. Her eyes found Hermione's and the corners of her lips curled up. "Oh Hermione, it seems he or she in there is having a little play about. And judging from this they quite enjoy making their presence known!"
"It's kicking?" Hermione looked bewildered and now placed both her hands on her belly. One of her hands covered Narcissa's and they both waited in anticipation to feel another movement. Her face lit up when she felt another sharp kick on the right side of her bump and she smiled. "Oh God, it's the first time I have actually felt it."
"You're twenty weeks," Narcissa answered. "Some women feel them a lot earlier but some babies can be a little quiet. When is your scan again?"
"Tomorrow at two. You're still coming, right? Did you manage to reschedule that pre-trial meeting with Harry and Kingsley?" Hermione asked and Narcissa nodded. Their schedules were busy, with Narcissa doing most of the work outside the flat and Hermione communicating by Floo Powder and owl. It was surprising the neighbours had not wondered why there were at least six to ten owls arriving every day.
"Have you decided whether you want to know if it's a boy or a girl?" Narcissa curiously asked and Hermione knowingly grinned. "You have, haven't you?"
"I think I'd like to know," Hermione smiled. "Ginny keeps saying she thinks it's a girl and Harry eventually gave in and they had a scan because he thought she was having a girl and it's another boy. I don't know, I think I am just too curious. By the way, did you hear Harry and Ginny are naming their second one after Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape?"
"Really?" Narcissa's eyebrows shot up. In recent years the true story of the sacrifices made by Severus Snape had seeped into the Wizarding World and many people now saw him in a different light. "That boy had some big shoes to fill. That is going to be tough."
"Being Harry's kid always is."
The tapping sound on the window interrupted their conversation and Hermione looked up to find a ink black owl sitting outside the glass. She smiled to herself. "That's Minerva's personal owl," she smiled as she walked up to the window to let the animal in. "She invited us to the Manor in Scotland next week. I think the thought of becoming a grandmother of sorts had excited her."
Narcissa could relate to that feeling. She had never in her wildest dreams thought she would get another chance at it all. She had made mistakes when Draco was a little boy. She had never been the mother she had hoped she'd be. She just never had a chance. And she regretted it to this day. Her son had missed out because of the life she had chosen. And she hoped that one day he could truly forgive her for that or better yet, that she could forgive herself. But the idea that she could raise another child, with someone whom she had watched suffer before her eyes, filled her with hope. There was an innocent child growing inside Hermione and she watched in adoration as the brunette's body changed. She would give this child everything she never got to give Draco. She would try and make things better because Narcissa knew, deep down, that she could never make them right.
~()~
Walking into the midwife clinic the next day Hermione did not feel like an outsider anymore. She had been for sixteen week check-up on her own but today Narcissa was with her and they sat side by side in the waiting room. Narcissa flicked through a fashion magazine with interest whilst Hermione let her eyes wander around the room and stared at the other women's bumps whilst trying not to make the dreaded eye contact. She felt better and more secure for not being alone this time. When Narcissa's hand found its way on her bump and gave it a loving caress, Hermione found some of the women look her way with feigned interest but nobody seemed startled by the idea Narcissa and Hermione were a pair. Narcissa looked younger than she was, and her almost classic appearance worked in Narcissa's favour, Hermione thought. And in hers too.
"Hermione Granger?" the secretary called and Hermione stood up. Narcissa followed and the blonde witch followed the young brunette into a room at the end of the corridor. There, on a chair with little wheels, sat the woman who was Hermione's midwife. Gillian Turner was a woman with black hair and intense green eyes and a husk, somewhat deep voice. She gestured for Hermione to get in the chair and then her eyes found Narcissa standing apprehensively in the doorway.
"Come in," Gillian invited her. "We encourage partners to be part of the whole process. Sit down beside Hermione and, well, do whatever makes you feel comfortable." She winked as Narcissa made her way around to the chair. "Within reason of course."
Narcissa sat down on the stool beside Hermione's chair and searched for the brunette's hand.
"How have you been feeling?" Gillian asked as she flicked through Hermione's notes. Then she looked up. "You said that at sixteen weeks you had not felt anything. Any movement yet?"
"Yesterday there were a few kicks," Hermione said and felt like she was positively beaming. Feeling her baby move had been a magical experience. She glanced at Narcissa who was suspiciously eyeing up the scanning machine to Hermione's left. "Things have been more relaxed since I decided to work from home. I am not as tired as I was in the beginning though my appetite has gone completely haywire. Cissy says I eat at any given time of day, even in the middle of the night. And it feels like I grew loads in the last few weeks!"
"Fantastic," Gillian answered and then she glanced at Narcissa as if to make a judgment. Her eyes lingered on their linked hands. "When you first came here you told me you had not spoken to the biological father of the baby. It stressed you out, you said. How are things now?"
"He knows but I have been very clear that if he continued to be a prat he will not see this baby. He knows that I have met someone else and he has accepted this fact. His mother and my best friend have been an amazing support and I would be nothing without Cissy's help," Hermione answered and felt herself glow on the inside when Narcissa squeezed her hand.
"Very well," answered Gillian and she put her notes down and began rubbing her hands together as if they were cold. "Let's have a look, shall we? Just roll up your top and I'll have a look and see how everything's developing."
Hermione pulled up her shirt and revealed her beautiful bump to Narcissa and Gillian before lying back in the chair and folding her arms behind her hand. Narcissa watched in a mixture of anticipation and nervousness how Gillian placed her hands on Hermione's belly before feeling and pushing down in certain places and eventually measuring the length and width of her belly. She made some notes and seemed satisfied by what she had found. She smiled when Hermione's eyes found hers. "All perfectly fine on the outside, Hermione. You're measuring in just perfect for this stage of your pregnancy." Her lips curled up and she reached for the wand attached to the small screen. "Shall we have a look inside?"
"Let's see if it's playing football in there," Hermione grinned and she glanced at Narcissa. "You ready to see our baby for the first time?"
Narcissa looked slightly pale and she nodded. She had never done anything like this before and the experience was overwhelming in many ways. The tears burnt deep behind her eyes and she struggled to look at her lover without crying. She squeezed Hermione's hand as Gillian picked up a plastic bottle and squirted some thick see-through jelly on Hermione's bump before placing the wand in the middle of it to spread it out. She turned on the screen of the machine and for a few seconds it remained blank and then suddenly an image appeared.
"This one is quite hard to miss," Gillian grinned and she pointed at the perfectly clear yet slightly granule image of a small head and a hand that seemed to be waving. "Looks like somebody is trying very hard to say hello."
"Oh my," Narcissa breathed. Her eyes were fixed on the small screen as the image of a small baby became clearer the more Gillian moved her wand. It seemed to be lying on its side, facing the camera and it appeared to be sucking its thumb instead of waving. What looked like two little legs were happily kicking about with great enthusiasm and there was nothing to suggest there was anything wrong with this little creature.
"A lively little thing," Hermione grinned as she too stared at the screen. To actually see the little human being inside of her was amazing. She felt tears well up in her eyes and swallowed hard. She tried to smile. "No wonder I feel like a football!"
"All seems fine with the brain," Gillian said as the wand focused on the baby's head. "No abnormalities or deformities. The heart beat is powerful and strong." She reached for a button, turned it and a loud noise filled the room. The distinct sound of a heartbeat could be heard through it and Hermione looked at Narcissa and saw the tears trickle down the older woman's face. She smiled.
"A strong heart," she smiled and Narcissa nodded.
"Just like its mommy."
"Spinal cord is fine too. Heart beat regular and strong. It looks like this little thing is doing just fine in there" Gillian answered. "Judging from their length, they look like they are a few days ahead in growth but nothing to be concerned about at this stage. Not all babies develop at the same rate and speed. Right, that leaves us with the million pound question." She looked at Hermione and Narcissa and grinned. "Do we want to know what's between the legs?"
There was a mutual answer. "Yes!"
"Let's see if," Gillian's voice trailed off as she moved the wand nearer to the baby's lower parts and she smirked. "Ah yes, here we go." She turned to look at Hermione. "Congratulations, it's a little a girl."
"A girl," Narcissa whispered and looked at Hermione. The brunette stared back at her and both were momentarily lost for words. They were having a little girl. In about twenty weeks' time they would be the parents to another living creature, a little girl. They would have a daughter together.
"I will just leave you to it for a little while," said Gillian and gave Narcissa the wand. The blonde witch took it and for a moment the image on the screen fluctuated. Narcissa seemed startled and questioning blue eyes snapped up to meet Gillian's. The midwife smiled. "You can't do any harm with this, believe me. Just move it around a little and have a little nose about. I'll be back in about ten minutes and will get you a few print outs as well as a little disc with some video footage and the heartbeat, OK? If you need me, my office is right next door."
"Thanks Gillian," Hermione whispered and the two witches watched the midwife leave the room. Narcissa put the wand down and the image on the screen went black. She looked at Hermione and the silent tear continued to seep down her cheeks. Hermione reached up and brushed them away.
"We're having a girl," she smiled and Narcissa nodded in silence. "You get to dress her up in pink dresses and put ribbons in her hair and have her wear all those cute little things you saw in the shop!"
"We're going to be parents," Narcissa answered and swallowed. "I have done this once before. I know that's coming, Hermione. The fear and endless worries and questioning whether you are doing things right. I have made a lot of mistakes. I did not raise Draco the way he should have been raised. I don't want to make those same mistakes again. And yet here you are, seemingly unfazed and…"
"I am terrified," Hermione cut her lover off and Narcissa's eyes widened in surprise. "I am terrified I will not know when she's hungry or when she is sad. That I won't be able to be there when she needs me and that one day I will have to leave her alone, when my own time has come. I am afraid I won't be any good in changing her nappies and that I'll drop her. I am afraid she won't love me or that she'll blame me for not being with her father. I am afraid that I won't be as good a mother as my own mother was."
"You'll be amazing," Narcissa said and leant in. Her lips brushed over Hermione's and then she slowly reached over and picked up the wand. She smiled as she placed it on Hermione's belly and the image on the screen changed and once again showed the inside of her uterus. "Shall we have another look at our daughter?"
They both just looked at the screen in silence and watched in amazement how the little girl growing inside did a near summersault whilst still sucking her thumb. Her legs were wiggling about and she seemed lively and happy. Hermione tried to recognise her own features but the image wasn't clear enough to tell whose nose she had inherited and what the shape of her face was like. All Hermione knew was that she would be beautiful and that she would love her more than she had loved anything else in her life. At this moment she was actually grateful for her times with Ron because this was what he had given her. But she did not miss him, nor did she think it should have been him here with her. Even though he knew about the baby and about Narcissa too, he had not bothered to contact her apart from through Harry or Ginny. She had told them to tell him to grow a pair of balls or piss off.
About ten minutes later the door opened again and Gillian came back in to find Narcissa and Hermione trying to scrutinize the baby's little head on the screen. She smiled when both women turned to face her. She put down her paperwork and took the wand from Narcissa. "Did you enjoy your private little show?"
"She has kept us entertained," Hermione smiled and watched with a sense of regret how Gillian put the wand down. The image on the screen faded and then the midwife handed her a towel to wipe the jelly of her stomach. Once cleaned up Hermione fixed her jumper back down, covering her bump, and swung her legs over the side of the chair. She felt surprisingly fit and energetic.
"Right then. Everything looked fine, your bump is the right size and though your little girl is a few days ahead in her development, I am not concerned. So I'd like you to see me again when you're thirty weeks and if there is any reason to be worried we will do another scan, just in case. But so far you are doing great and I see no reason why that wouldn't continue," Gillian said. She picked up a simple white envelope and gave it to Hermione. "Here are some stills from the scan as well as a video. Enjoy showing her off. You can book yourself an appointment at the front desk and I'll see you in ten weeks."
Hermione smiled and took Narcissa's hand as she slipped off the chair. "Thanks Gillian." She walked out of the room closely followed by Narcissa and made her way to the front desk. She booked herself another appointment and then they stepped outside into the crisp afternoon London air. Hermione took a deep breath and her hand linked with Narcissa's. She turned to look at the blonde witch.
"Our daughter," she smiled and Narcissa nodded. She was unable to speak. Hermione swallowed. "There is someone I'd like to see. There is so much I need to tell them."
"Who?" Narcissa managed to bring out. Her eyes lingered on the bump under Hermione's jumper. She felt an immense sense of pride.
"Andromeda," Hermione answered softly and Narcissa's blue eyes widened. "She has been amazing throughout all of this, Cissy. She has been amazingly supportive and Molly said that when she told her about us she was thrilled."
"Somehow I doubt that."
"Cissy," Hermione pushed and the blonde witch averted her eyes. Hermione tried to catch her gaze but Narcissa's eyes remained fixed on the pavement and Hermione reluctantly gave up. She sighed. She had been close to Andromeda in the last few months. There had been a strong bond between them, even though up till the war they had never known the other existed, Hermione now considered her one of her best friends. "Andy has said she is ready to talk of you are. Now is as good a time as ever."
"I don't think I am ready," Narcissa said and slowly looked up to meet her lover's eyes.
Hermione sighed and her hazel eyes searched Narcissa's face. She sensed her hesitation. "I'll meet you at home then, OK? The Cauldron is just around the corner and I'll take the Floo from there. All you have to do is Floo to Andy's if you change your mind."
Narcissa nodded. "I know." She leant in and kissed Hermione. The brunette answered her kiss and when they parted Narcissa took a deep breath. "Just… Another day. I promise."
"I know," Hermione smiled and let her fingers run down Narcissa's arm. "I understand. I'll see you later."
They went their separate ways as Narcissa decided to walk to the nearest tube station and travel back to Belsize Park whilst Hermione made her way through London on foot and took in the beautiful sights of the city. She loved living here. It was crowded and noisy and yet it had so many peaceful parts. Belsize Park had become her home. She loved it there. But London, London was her everything. She couldn't ever imagine herself leaving. She loved walking through the crowds, hearing their voices, and being reminded what so many of her friends had once died for. They had died for this, for her life, for everybody else's life, and she lived her life to celebrate that sacrifice.
She arrived at the Leaky Cauldron and made her way towards the fireplace. She dropped a handful of Floo Powder in the roaring green flames and stated loud and clear "Andromeda Tonks!" Instantly the pub blurred into the flames and was replaced by the familiar layout of Andromeda's living room. Hermione stepped out of the fire, brushed the ashes of her jeans and jumper and then turned around. The cottage seemed quiet.
"Andy?" she called and there were footsteps upstairs approaching the steps. "It's me, Hermione!"
"I'll be right down," answered Andromeda from upstairs. "I wondered when you'd turn up to show off that bump of yours!"
A minute or two later Andromeda came down the stairs, her hands full of Teddy's toys, and she stored them in a box she kept in the living room. Then she turned to look at Hermione and her face lit up when she discovered the prominent bump. She smiled as she hugged the brunette and when she let her go Hermione could see the happiness in the older witch's eyes. "Hermione, you look amazing."
"Thank you," Hermione smiled. "And I have news too!"
"Bigger news than you telling me you're pregnant and Molly telling me you are seeing my sister?" Andromeda asked and Hermione detected the hint of humour in her voice. "I didn't think there could be anything bigger!"
"Well, maybe not that big," Hermione grinned and placed both her hands on the swell of her stomach. Her face was glowing and her eyes twinkled. "But I am sure you'd be pleased to know that it's a girl!"
"Oh Hermione!" Andromeda exclaimed and she smiled. "A little girl! How wonderful! Does Molly know yet?"
"No," Hermione smiled. "Not yet. But I think Cissy and I will go see her tomorrow. Ginny is having another boy so I reckon she will be thrilled to have another girl to fuss over. And Minerva has invited us over to the manor soon so there will be plenty of people to share the good news with."
She observed the change in Andromeda's eyes now that she mentioned her sister and watched how the dark eyes flashed in the direction of the fireplace. Hermione knew that deep down Andromeda was desperate to see Narcissa. All these years she had been too frightened of being rejected all over again that even after the war she had not dared approach her. Lucius would not have allowed it. But with the divorce finalised Andromeda had held hope Narcissa would have come to find her. She never came. And Andromeda missed her sister, Hermione knew. And she knew Narcissa missed Andromeda too. They were both too scared and too nervous that perhaps too much time had passed for their relationship to be rekindled and for the past to be forgotten.
Just as Hermione was about to speak the flames in the fireplace roared up green and a figure appeared in the smoke. As the dust began to settle Hermione immediately recognised the pale blonde hair. With hesitation Narcissa stepped into the living room and her eyes found those of her sister.
"Hello Andy."
