Well guys here is chapter twelve. Thank you so much for all the reviews I was worried a lot of u would have given up after the length of time it took me to update but I'm so glad u have decided to stick with it. This chapter gives more of an insight into why Meredith and Mark's marriage fell apart.
Chapter Twelve: Avoiding
A week had passed since Meredith had kissed Mark and had fought with Derek and she had still not spoken to either of them.
"You know you're going to have to talk them sooner or later" Alex told Meredith as the 5 interns sat at their usual lunch table in the cafeteria.
"Yep and I would rather later" Meredith retorted picking at her salad.
"Mer you know how I said to take your time and make the decision that was best for you, well I didn't mean wait forever and avoid the whole thing" Izzie said.
"I'm not avoiding" Meredith stated.
"Yes you are" the 4 others chorused at her.
"What aren't you avoiding?" Derek asked finally deciding that he had given her enough space. It had been a week surely that would be enough time for her to cool off.
"I'm not avoiding anything" Meredith said glaring at the others so they didn't argue.
"Can we ah talk?" he asked.
"Yeah um how about dinner tonight? I can come over to the trailer and you can cook for me or we can go out?" she said finally deciding that she had hidden for long enough.
"Okay I'm off in about an hour, I can cook and you can come over when you are done here" he said giving her the McDreamy smile.
"Okay well I finish at 6 so I will be there by 7" she told him.
"Great see you later" he said before heading back to the patients he had to see.
"Why did I agree to that?" Meredith groaned once Derek was out of earshot.
"Meredith what on earth are you getting yourself into?" Cristina asked.
"I have no idea" Meredith confessed just as her pager beeped. "See ya guys" she said as she got up and ran to answer the page.
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"You paged" Meredith said as she approached Mark at the nurse's station.
"Yeah I did, in here" he said as he led her into an empty room.
"Ah Mark there is no patient here" Meredith acknowledged looking around.
"I know, I figured since you're avoiding me I would page you, you never ignore a page" he said cockily smiling at her.
"Mark, I am busy you can't just page me because you want to talk" she exclaimed at him.
"I know I'm sorry but I don't have much choice when you are very good at hiding" he replied.
"Well what do you want?" she asked agitated.
"Meredith you kissed me, and usually I wouldn't mind that but what does it mean? You kiss me yet you are still seeing Derek and I just need to know where I stand. Am I wasting my time being here?" he asked.
"I don't know Mark, I'm sorry but I don't know what I am doing, I love you I really do but I can't forget what you did. I need more time Mark and as for Derek I don't feel for him what I feel for you but I like him. I just need to know that you won't hurt me again Mark, I need to be able to trust you" Meredith told him.
"I understand, you have a decision to make, but Mer I won't wait around forever but I am willing to do whatever it takes to have you back. If there is a fight for you I'm in" he admitted before leaving her standing in the empty room alone.
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Meredith arrived at Derek's trailer just before 7. Her thoughts were still on what Mark has said. He was right she had to make a decision but she wasn't sure how.
She opened the door to the trailer – a brilliant smell hitting her immediately.
"Derek, it's me" she called out as she entered.
"Hey" he said greeting her with a soft kiss to her lips. "Hungry?" he asked.
She nodded as he passed her a glass of red wine. "What did you make?" she asked as he seated her at the table.
"It's just a chicken carbonara, I just quickly whipped it up" he replied placing a plate in front of her.
"Yum" she said as she took a bite of the creamy chicken.
"How was your shift?" he asked avoiding the topic of Mark.
"It was okay, I scrubbed in on a valve replacement with Hahn then caught up on charts" she answered sipping on her wine.
"Fascinating" he said mocking her.
"Hey, we can't all be hot shot neurosurgeons who make their own hours" she laughed throwing a piece of pasta at him.
"It will be you some day Mer, you're an excellent surgeon, you will be better than your mother" he said sincerely.
Meredith froze at the mention of her Mother. She had visited her at the home earlier in the week and she hadn't even known who she was, she had called her a nurse.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Meredith asked. "I'm sure you didn't want to discuss my future as a surgeon" she giggled.
"Don't get upset but the other day you said that your marriage problems weren't all Mark's fault and I was hoping you would tell me what you meant" Derek said looking into her eyes.
"I knew it was only a matter of time" Meredith replied with a small smile. "At the beginning of my last year of medical school I ah found out I was pregnant, we didn't plan it but we wanted that baby so much. I was 5 months along and there were complications and I lost the baby" Meredith admitted, tears escaping her eyes.
"Mer I am so sorry" Derek said moving around to her and hugging her close.
"Mark moved on so easily, he acted like it never happened. I couldn't do that. And then my Mom got sick and it was hard. I started working more and I pushed him away" she said sobbing.
"Wait your Mom is sick" Derek said realising what she had said.
Meredith nodded her reply. "Early on set Alzheimer's, it has progressed quickly, most days she still thinks I'm 5 years old" Meredith confessed.
"Oh Mer, you could have told me. You've been dealing with this on your own?" he asked.
Meredith nodded as she snuggled into his chest. "It's okay I'm here honey" Derek soothed as he stroked her hair. He realised there had been more to Meredith's pain then she had let on.
