Truth or dare is never going to end well. It will either be boring as fuck, or will dissolve into a shit storm. Looking at the scheming look on Puck's face I'm pretty sure this will be the later. We or more correctly they settle on rules. I go steal the just opened 30 pack of beer and stash it under Artie's wheelchair. Fuck playing this at anything approaching sober. He notices but says nothing after I promise to share. We settle down in a circle I have Artie on my left which is positive, but Brittany on the right which really isn't. However I have a really good view down Santana's top with her sitting opposite me. I drag my eyes away from her cleavage and force myself to listen to Rachel.
"The Rules for Rachel Berry's Truth or Dare Extraordinare are," she takes a huge breathe and an even bigger dramatic pause, "The same person cannot be chosen more than three times in a row. You can forfeit your dare or refuse to answer your truth but it will cost you one item of clothing each time. As an addendum to that rule shoes socks and stockings all count as one. Finally if you are to lame to ask anything you may ask a never have I ever question, but to do so you must finish a drink. Let the game commence!" Fuck she is keen. It would be funnier if the game she had just described wasn't so terrible. Brittany jumped in to start
"Tina, truth. Are you and Mike's babies going to be Asian too?" Tina just started laughing,
"B you are supposed to give me the option of truth or dare. But yes our babies will be of the Asian persuasion." She and mike giggle and hold hands. Finn is next
"Quinn truth or dare?" I can't read the look on his face.
"Dare." I really want to avoid truthful questions if I can tonight.
"I dare you to swap tops with Artie. Two layers each." There is an evil glint in his eye all I can think is thank fuck I wore a singlet as well tonight. I look at Artie
"You all good with this?" he shrugs.
"It's all part of the game." With that he undoes the top three buttons of his shirt and pulls the sweater vest and shirt off together. He is sitting there in a white thin as fuck undershirt so I hurry up and swap. I just grab the necks of my t shirt and singlet pull it over my head and hand it to him. There is a huge collective gasp when the group sees my side. Up until now I had pretty much forgotten the scars. Suddenly feeling self conscious I pull on Artie's clothes. I feel like a moron in this sweater vest but at least people aren't staring at my scars. I chug a beer.
"Are we playing or are we staring?" I ask. Fuck I wish they would stop looking at me. Puck takes pity on me,
"Trying to call the game off before everyone finds out you're chicken shit Fabray?"
"Nah I just don't want you getting found out as a pussy bitch. Be way to much effort stealing your spot on the team." Mercedes starts laughing at this, puck shrugs it off with,
"We playing or are you bitching cos your jealous of my guns?"
"Noah has a point, we shall endeavor to continue this game." Wow I'm actually happy for Rachel to be speaking.
"Mercedes I believe it's your turn." we turn and look at her.
"Fine, truth or dare Rachel?"
"Oh I am feeling adventurous, dare." Mercedes rolls her eyes.
"Of course you are, here is your challenge, play 7 minutes of heaven with whoever you spin with this bottle." She hands Rachel an empty bottle. The entire circle groans at the enthusiasm on Rachel's face. Right now it looks like only Puck would want to be in a closet with her, well maybe Brittany.
"I don't quite get it."
"You spin the bottle then you and whoever it lands on goes into the closet and has sexy time for seven minutes. Oh and we listen to make sure you do. It's like super fun." ok definitely Brittany after that explanation. Rachel leans forward to spin the bottle, I lean back to grab another beer. Fuck Artie looks odd in my dirty work shirt. It's faded and it should be black, instead it's closer to brown. I'm laughing as I turn back to the circle. I take a swig of beer wondering why everyone went quiet. I spray said beer into my lap.
"No. Just no." Rachel looks sad. This time I don't give a fuck.
"That's fine just forfeit," Mike says. This earns him a slap from Tina. "What? I meant her shoes." she gives him a look but he seems earnest so is forgiven. I unlace my work boots and start peeling off the socks. After 6 weeks of this rubbish I'm used to the smell. Clearly no one else is.
"Outside, Quinn." I follow Brit's instruction immediately as she is using her don't fuck about voice. It raises a few eyebrows. A drunken Kurt makes a whipped noise, hah if only he knew what she had over me. The shoes and socks go upstairs by the front door. Coming back down I look at my friends, even with this rat shit game going on they haven't labelled me as a freak yet. Maybe they can accept my change by the time I tell them.
"Alright then Puck, your turn. Show us how lame you truly are."
"I don't know you seem over dressed. I mean Rachel was totally keen to be all over you so you still owe us another piece of clothes." He is smirking. For fucks sake this game is just turning into an amalgamation of all bad party games. I comply with bad grace, then pop the collar on Artie's shirt. "Game on."
After the rocky start people forget about playing pick on Quinn. We found out about the gap attack from Blaine, forced Finn to try and skull a gallon of soy milk and Santana had to serenade one of Rachel's neighbors. It was all harmless fun until Rachel truth or dared me. After I don't know how many beers I picked truth out of sheer laziness. "Truth time Quinn. Who in this circle would you most like to have sex with?" I flip her the finger. Just because I want to fuck Santana senseless doesn't mean I want to announce it. So I think, would I rather lose the shirt or the pants. Shirt means everyone will be staring at the scars, jeans mean that I'll be sitting in my undies. I realize I'm wearing the star wars jocks I stole off puck start of last month. So shirt it is. I wink at Santana before slowly unbuttoning my shirt. I know she has mellowed out since earlier, the fucking huge scars on my side gives my coma story some legitimacy. She laughs when I throw it at her. Turning back to Rachel I say, "Yea not answering that one Berry. Just a hint, it's not you." I lean across to get a hi five from Puck. He grins "My turn. Quinn truth or dare?"
"Dare." with Puck there is no safe option. Judging by the grin that split his face I definitely picked the wrong option. "I dare you to jump from the roof, into the tree then backflip into the neighbors pool." there is utter silence. It's easily the most hardcore dare of the night. Puck smirks at me and I realize he is just trying to make me lose my pants. Looks like Santana, Tina and Mercedes all see it too as they start cackling their heads off. I see how this is. I don't have a belt so I start on the button of my jeans. My fly makes a nice loud zipping noise. I finish another beer before I stand up to pull them off. I have a slight sway not sure how many beers I have had, then drop my jeans.
"Thief," puck points and yells at me. "those are totally mine. Wait where are you going?" I've started walking up the stairs to the rest of the house. I'm wearing a plain gray bra and some star wars jocks. While I'm glad they cover my ass, it doesn't leave me with too much dignity. So jumping off the roof is now a matter of pride.
"Can't swim in jeans bro."
I am standing in Rachel's window frame. I'm facing inwards ignoring all the yells from the yard about how I should go back in before I kill myself. I laugh when Brittany asks me to hurry up and turn into a pancake so she can go back into the warmth. Someone asked what the highest mark she'd ever gotten in a test was so she lost her shirt instead of answering. Concentrating on the task at hand I lean out so I'm hanging by my fingertips. I crouch and jump as hard as I can, I really don't want to miss the edge of the roof. I make it, get both hands on it. One hand hits a loose nail so I let go immediately. It's pretty torn up from the force of impact and bleeding heaps from the alcohol in my blood. I hang there with one hand. "Your roof sucks Berry." I can hear general panic noises from below me. I suppose from their perspective this looks bad. I put the other hand back on the roof and pull myself up. Fuck that hurt. Stage 1 completed. I climb up to the peak suppress the urge to yell like King Kong before taking a running jump off the building. This is way easier as I can see where I'm jumping. The branch I'm aiming for is fucking huge, about a foot diameter two meters forward and one meter down from my starting point. I land heavily and hug the trunk to steady myself. I leave a huge blood smear on the pale tree. I'm surprised my hand is still bleeding, it normally would have been half healed by now.
"Quinn? Are you dead yet?" that's puck.
"Not yet."
"Hurry up then."
"Aww is little Pucky suffering from shrinkage?"
"Just jump bitch" With such nice encouragement how can I refuse. I let go of the trunk, take a few steps down the branch and do a round off to handspring dismount like a pro. I knew Cheerios would be useful for something one day. I backflip in the air before hitting the water. I landed in darkness, but surface in blinding light. I'm thinking that it's an awesome metaphor for tonight, entering in dubious conditions and leaving as the clear winner of truth or dare. However the light is more related to Rachel's neighbours having a security light. A big man holding a baseball bat appears at the back door.
"Don't you fucking move. I'm calling the cops you trespassing punk." Clearly I do the exact opposite of what he says. I paddle to the edge of the pool, roll out and start sprinting. I get over the opposite fence to Rachel's before he catches me and walk off listening to his swearing.
I jog around the block staying mostly hidden in gardens. I don't want to be caught in my underwear. I get near the berry house. The neighbour is watching the front and the house is suspiciously dark compared to when I left. I'm fucking tired, reasonably tipsy and way over this shit. I briefly consider punching the man out, then realize that would be assault. I settle for sneaking into the bed of my truck and passing out in there.
I wake up at first light. Big surprise there. Being sober now I realize it's fucking cold, I'm also fucking hungry. I don't really want to walk up to the house and ask for my clothes back in broad daylight. I have to have some options right? It hits me. This is my work car. I have safety gear and hopefully one of my old shirts.
AN So I pretended to work today. Still achieved nothing. Also I had like five emails telling me about alerts, favourites and reviews this morning. Totally set me up for a sweet as day. Thanks Peeps.
