"Mikan-sama," A voice called, making the woman turn away from the beautiful scene that is her private garden. Upon seeing the visitor, the empress smiled.
"Ruka-san," Mikan returned, "what a pleasant surprise. Is His Majesty with you?"
Mikan frowned lightly when the man's eyes hardened before going back to its gentle state.
"Am I not allowed to visit you without His Majesty with me?" Ruka asked, teasing her.
"Of course not!" Mikan exclaimed, pouting her lips. "It's just that you don't actually visit me, not anymore that is."
Ruka looked away guiltily, pushing his golden hair away from his face.
The brunette laughed lightly. "Don't be like that, I was just joking."
The blond took a steadying breath before answering. "No, you're right. I never visited you after…" Ruka coughed. "After you gave birth to Ryuu-sama."
"Ah, yes. It was around that time. Why is that? I actually waited for you; I wanted my male best friend to see my son." The empress asked, reaching for the man's arm and taking him with her as she started to stroll around the garden.
"Excuse me, Mikan-sama," Michiko interrupted, making Mikan turn. "I think it's better if I go now. If that is alright with you?"
Mikan blinked, "You can stay here with us." She answered, making Ruka's hopeful gaze turn into a disappointed one. "But, if you want to, then you can go."
The attendant nodded before leaving the two of them alone. Ruka sighed in relief as the woman disappeared from their sight. He doesn't want anyone other than Mikan hear him out.
"So, about my question, are you going to answer or not?" The brunette asked.
Both were silent as Ruka tried to form words in his head, constructing his explanation. After what seemed like hours, he finally spoke. "Because at that time, I can bear to see him."
"Hm? Can't bear to see who?" Mikan asked.
Ruka sighed in frustration; really, this woman is going to make him say it out loud. He pulled the empress to a stop before looking straight to her eyes. "Do you remember what I told you nine years ago? When we were just fifteen?"
"Well I talk to you every day back then, so I don't really remember which one you're talking-"
"I love you." At Ruka's words, Mikan stopped talking. "I love you, Mikan."
The empress blinked before starting to pull away from him.
"There, now you remember." Ruka simply said, releasing her arms from his hold. "I stopped visiting you then because I love you. Because I can't bear to see you holding a child you had with another man. Because even now, it hurts me to see Ryuu-sama and Sayuri-sama because they both remind me that you're not mine. What a cruel woman you are, you actually wanted me to see them."
Mikan shook her head as if trying to banish his words from her memories. The woman turned and slowly walked to a bench and sat down. "But on my wedding day, you said you're over me already." She said in a confused voice. "You said as long as I'm happy, you'll be happy for me as well."
"There! I'm glad you said that. Now I actually came here to ask you something." Ruka walked towards Mikan before kneeling in front of her. "Are you happy? Tell me honestly, are you happy here?"
At the question, Mikan's face was slowly stripped of emotions until it became perfectly blank even when a tear escaped her eye. Sorrow and despair seized her as she realized that none of her time in the palace actually made her happy besides the birth of her children.
Ruka sighed as he sat on the ground and leaned his back on her bench. He looked at the crying woman and his heart clenched, almost choking him. He sighed again as he took one of her hands and held it, trying to at least lessen her sorrow.
"She's in so much pain." He thought, looking straight at the figure hiding behind a tree to their left.
"Nobara-sama, Luna-sama is here to see you." Hanako, Nobara's attendant informed.
The blue haired woman looked up in surprise, "Luna?" she repeated. The other consort very rarely leaves her palace aside from occasional visits to the emperor or to the empress. "Let her in."
Hanako left the room and came back with the strawberry blond woman by her side.
"Nobara-sama," Luna greeted, bowing to the mistress of the palace.
"Luna, take a seat." Nobara studied the other woman as Hanako poured the tea. Luna came to the palace four years after she did, making her the other woman's elder. "So, what did you come here for?"
Luna accepted the tea offered to her and quietly took a sip before answering. "It is Fumino-sama's birthday soon, I was wondering if I could ask for your help in order to prepare a banquet for her."
The quiet woman picked up her spoon and started stirring her tea. "Mikan-sama is the one who arranges that banquet. If you want to help, I suggest that you go visit her palace."
"Yes, but I just thought since Mikan-sama has not been feeling well lately, maybe we should take on the responsibility for her."
"Oh? I did not know that Mikan-sama is sick? I visited her last night and she was fine." Nobara answered before looking away from the woman.
"What? I thought she's sick?" Luna asked before she caught herself and barely restrained a gasp.
Nobara turned to the woman and fixed a cold glare at her. "Why Luna, you sound disappointed? Would you prefer that Mikan-sama is sick?"
"O-of course not, Nobara-sama. I was just surprised because according to the report I received, Mikan-sama is not feeling well."
"I see," Nobara said. "Well then, you may go now if that's all."
Luna stood and bowed before leaving the room.
"Report, huh? Now, who would be giving you report from Mikan-sama's palace."
"Mikan-sama," Michiko called. "Please talk to me. What happened?"
The empress came back three hours after she left them in the garden. When her mistress walked into the room, she immediately knew that she had been crying. She was going to ask about it but the empress ordered that her bed be fixed because she was tired and there was nothing else Michiko could do but to obey.
Mikan turned to her attendant. "Do you know how I first met Natsume-sama?"
"Wasn't it on his coronation? You saw him because the Yukihira clan was invited." Michiko answered.
The empress smiled sadly, "Yes, we were invited. But how did I see him when children are not allowed in the pavilion?" she sighed before continuing. "It was because of Ruka."
"Ruka-sama? You knew Ruka-sama even before you knew His majesty?"
"Ruka was also my childhood friend aside from Hotaru. The three of us meet each other every afternoon by the river behind the Yukihira estate. We play and we had fun, it was our routine. Until the day I decided to have him meet my mom because she was curious about the boy Hotaru and I have been spending so much time with."
Mikan turned to the girl and smiled softly. "That was the day I found out he was a prince."
Michiko gasped, "Ruka-sama is a prince?"
"Yes, he is Natsume-sama's older brother, well, older half-brother to be more precise. Ruka is the son of the former emperor, Hisashi-sama's, only consort. Unfortunately, no one else knew that truth because when the former emperor died, when Ruka was only four years old and Natsume-sama was three, Natsume-sama's grandmother, Fumino-sama, banished Ruka and his mother away from the palace and ordered that he shall never be called prince. She hated Ruka's mother, you see. So from that day on, Ruka lived as a normal citizen instead of a prince."
"But why did the former empress dowager hated her?' Michiko asked.
"Because she never approved of her. Ruka's mom is called Juuri, Aihara Juuri. Do you know a clan named Aihara?" Mikan asked her attendant.
Michiko slowly shook her head, "I've never heard of that clan.'
"That's because that clan was annihilated years before we were born. I don't actually know why though. Juuri-san was a woman with a horrible past, a sole survivor in a massacre. Of course, the former empress dowager did not want someone with that background into the royal family. And there was also the fact that at that time, Kaoru-sama still has not been able to get pregnant even after four years of marriage with Hisashi-sama. Fumino-sama was afraid that Juuri-san would get pregnant first and her son would be made crown prince instead of Kaoru-sama's son, that is, Natsume-sama."
"So, Fumino-sama held strong to her decision and she even had the clans supporting her oppose Juuri-san as well. Months after that, they finally made an agreement that even if Juuri-san bears a son before Kaoru-sama, he still would not be made crown prince. In the end, Hisashi-sama got what he wanted, Juuri-san remained as a consort but her life in the palace ended up as a living hell for her because every chance she got, Fumino-sama took it to humiliate her, especially because she did exactly as Fumino-sama feared, she gave birth to a prince first. "
Michiko reached for the teapot on the table and started to pour tea.
Mikan took her cup and sipped slowly. "So back to our past, at the ceremony, I saw Ruka, who was invited as a member of the royal family. You see, despite being banished from the castle, Ruka was still invited to come back time after time. And with those times, he and Natsume-sama grew closer and closer until they came to this point but Ruka was never recognized as the first prince. That's how I first met Natsume-sama; Ruka introduced us to each other."
The empress took a deep breath and leaned on the back of her seat.
"Mikan-sama," an attendant called from outside the room, "An attendant came from Fumino-sama's palace."
Michiko and Mikan exchanged a glance at the attendant's words. The empress smiled and stood from her seat, fixing her robes. At Mikan's nod, the two started for the door.
"Thank Kami-sama she likes me." Mikan whispered making Michiko chuckle slightly.
