Chapter 12. I'm not quite sure I believe it….
And I've been terrible about updating… My sincerest apologies!
Myrnin.
The voices had stopped for awhile now, but I was afraid to move, afraid that if I moved they would know I was alive and they would come back. No, it was much better to stay still, to stay play-dead.
Claire.
Her name brought back shocking bolts that seared into me, it made me remember. How could I ever even forget? She was everything, my literal everything. I loved her with all my dead heart. I had even told her that much. Why didn't she say anything? Why wasn't she responding?
I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, CLAIRE, I LOVE YOU! I shouted over and over and over. Why wasn't she answering? I loved her! Why couldn't she love me?
Oh right, because she was dead.
Claire. I love you. I love you, Claire. I'll save you. I promise.
I uncurled myself from my little ball and pulled my bloodied fingers out of my torn hair. I could tell I was a mess, but I really couldn't care less. I had to find what I was looking for. I was convinced that this was the only thing that could save her, could save that mutilated, destroyed body. Images flashed back into my mind, her leaving, heading for the stairs, a dark, black flash moving fast, too fast for even my vampire eyes to see and then red, blood red, red blood, red roses, she was dead.
Where was it? Where was that goddamned machine? It was small, so small. Why did I have to make it so small? Ah, so many questions, so little answers, too much time, too much love. When had life become this complicated?
In a box, in a drawer, around the corner and behind the door, it was nowhere. Gone. Vanished. Dead. NO! It had to be somewhere! I wouldn't lose it, couldn't lose it! It just as tied to me as Claire was. Oh Claire, oh poor sweet, innocent Claire!
I mourned for a moment, shaking with grief. Too much emotion, I'd always had it and I always would. It would kill me. Eventually.
But not today and not as long as I had Claire! Which I didn't now, but I would and soon! Grr, rawr, bite, I wanted to bite. Where was it? Why did it have to be so damn small? Oh, wait. It wasn't small, not at all! It was big, huge even, almost as big as Ada's machine. Ada.
I distinctly remember what it felt like to lose her the first time and the second even more sharply. It had been terrible, painful, agonizing in ways that were unknown to almost all because so few had ever caused it. Few had lost control of that madness that hunger and killed someone so loved, so cherished. Sure, it had been an accident, but not in the way that mattered. I had ripped her open with my hands, my teeth. I had killed her and hadn't cared, not for hours, not for days until Amelie came to find me.
I think that's the first time that she was truly afraid of the disease. Before it had been real enough, sure, but only a nuisance, a flitting bug to swat at. It had been years away from destroying anything and vampires are simply terrible at planning for the distant future. Until then it had been a distant future.
I swayed and leaned against the table, momentarily losing myself to the past. Pasts were awful things! It had always been my deepest advice not to have one. Best to forget, to move on, to grow in a sense. Remember the lessons and forget the teacher. Argh, pasts! Who needed them?
Well they were certainly good at reminded, good at reminding pain. Pain.
Claire!
I need to work, work faster, find. Find that machine thing-y. Now where was it? Big, yes. It was large, it was commodious. Which made perfectly perfect sense because you were, well, in it. Well, sort of.
Aha! I found a key of sorts that really wasn't a key.
BTGD, LTGU.
Well what did that mean? B,B,B…B, B,B,b,b,b,b,B,B! Yes, B, Big! As in, big things go down. Down down down down, always down. So down I went, ripping at the carpet covering the entrance to the basement and grinding my teeth while I waited for the hand scanner to go, then jumping, falling, landing, running.
Moving past the really big machine with all its lovely clacks and clanks, I headed towards the back, looking for a hidden door. I spotted it without much looking, I did put it there myself after all, and attempted to open it and OW!
Silver handle. Smart for me, stupid for me, pain for all. Except those pesky humans, nothing worked on them. Well, except for bullets. Those tended to work with rather satisfying results!
Covering my hand with my sleeve I again tugged on the door, relying on my surprising strength to wrench it open. Inside it was dark and dusty and cobwebs hung from every nook and cranny. I held out my fingers to a frightened spider that hung from the rafters and reminded me so much of dear Bob, but it skittered off into the shadows and out of sight.
The state of the room was decay, which really didn't bother me much since my lab went through several phases of it, and most of it contents fit right along with it. All the junk shoved into crumbling heaps and dirty, muddy puddles of disintegrated mass. All except for a shining metal box that shone like diamond among rocks, glowing almost, in the center of the room.
The box was about seven feet in height, just large enough to stand in and about ten feet long and two feet wide. A metal grate closed off the inside of it, but you could see through to the paraphernalia inside.
On one end was an engine of sorts, filled with bubbling green liquid that oozed and burped in a disgusting way and held cables and wire in all sorts of shapes and colors. They were all connected to the center which was magnum hot, kept at the perfect temperature to turn the gold bars that had been placed in there centuries ago into a molten syrup that rose and fell as if pushed by an unseen tide. The other end held a massive control table full of knobs and bronze gears that were purely for looks of course! In between were five red velvet seats that I had stolen from a king some eight hundred years ago in France, I believe. He hadn't been a very good one. Amelie hated him, killed him.
I ripped open the grate without pause and sat down in the seat closest to the control panel and pulled a lever on my right. The machine hummed to life under me and emitted a welcoming whir.
Yes, yes, yes, YES! It was working! It would work! It was going to work! Everything was going to be fine and I was going to save Claire. Again!
I apologize that I haven't updated in awhile and I know this chapter is rather short. Sorry.
And ha, I'm evil! Leaving you with this cliffhanger! Whoever correctly guesses what this machine is get's to request a oneshot!
And please review! Really it's honestly not that hard and I'll really appreciate it! Review and I'll have Myrnin come visit you in the night (wink wink!)
Peace, love and tacos and Myrnin!
