Chapter 11
It's Christmas! Finally, I am back home and with my family again, the only problem is that now I am all awkward with Adrian and everyone has noticed. My mum is giving me one of her all-knowing looks, dad just looks uncomfortable, Christian thinks it's hilarious, probably because mum told Lissa and Lissa needs to tell Christian everything and Aunt Lissa has her I am sorry your feeling this way look on her face every time she sees me. The only two people who haven't noticed are Andre and Adrian, and that's mainly because Andre is like five years old and doesn't care, plus I am out rightly avoiding Adrian.
It was a couple days before Christmas now and I was at the fully decked out gym that the court had to offer, I was running on the treadmill and trying to organise my thoughts, god knows they needed it. I couldn't avoid this forever, it wasn't fair on Adrian and it wasn't fair on me, I was already feeling guilty and horrible about what I was doing. I ran until I couldn't feel my legs and was pretty much going on adrenaline, packing up all my gear, I walked out of the gym into the biting cold and made my way back home for a much needed shower.
"Little Lina, have I done something to offend you?" Crap! I didn't this now! I turned to find Adrian leaning against the wall of the gym smoking.
"Why would you think that?" I squeaked, squeak? That wasn't me at all! Come one Karolina, where is the Hathaway spirit.
"Because you have barely spoken to me since you arrived back home, usually we spend some time together, not to mention you have been quiet, you are never quiet. You can see that I have reason to worry." So he has noticed. Damn.
"Maybe I am reflecting. I am allowed to reflect, it's Christmas after all." I was deflecting and he knew, I watched as he stalked toward me, eyeing me like prey. Oh no! That could only mean one thing. "Don't you dare Adrian Ivashkov! I know that look, if you even think about using compulsion on me I will beat you down." I found the Hathaway spirit, but I saw the look of hurt in Adrian's face.
"I would never use compulsion on you Karolina, you know that, what is up with you?" I felt guilty; I ran my hands up my face and through my hair and sighed.
"I know, I am sorry, I just... I need to go, I am all gross and sweaty and I have a lot on my mind okay. I'll talk you later." With that I ran off and left a stunned Adrian in my wake.
(Line)
After a scolding hot shower, that not only cleansed my body but also cleaned the guilt off of me, I walked out into the kitchen to find my parents whispering to each other, this was my no means odd, what was odd was that they looked at me and the turned away guiltily, my parents were never guilty.
"Can I help you?" I asked with a quirk of the brow, surprisingly it was my dad that replied.
"Lina, are you okay? You have been quiet and well Adrian just stopped by, he told us what happened and he is worried." I sat down at the counter and put my head in my hands. My dad came to sit next to me and rubbed my back.
"Daddy, I don't know what to do!"
"About your feelings for Adrian?" My mum added, of course she knew, my mum tended to know me better then I knew myself. I nodded; I couldn't do anything else but nod. "How do you feel about him? Because I know that there are feelings."
"I like him, like him a lot, more than I ever liked Alex. But it can't happen."
"Why not?" Dad asked softly, I faced him and gave him the 'really dad, isn't it obvious'
"Are you kidding me? He is older, you guys, you guys!" My parents looked at each other and smiled, they were doing that thing where they had a conversation with their mind. I hated that.
"Lina, we are hardly going to tell you that we forbid this, especially because of what happened to us, plus we have been watching you for a while now, we have gotten used to the idea while you were still trying to work out how you felt. Sweetie we will support you in everything you do, honestly I am kind of glad its Adrian because I know that he will protect you and that he cares for you. I couldn't let my little girl date just anyone." My dad said, I smiled, and he always knew exactly what to say to me. My mum just nodded, obviously having nothing to add to my dad's speech, which is odd for her; in fact this whole situation was odd usually it's my mum doing all the talking and my dad being the moral support.
"But I have been so weird around him lately; he is going to hate me." I sulked; I had never sulked in my life. This was just getting ridiculous. It was my mum who spoke up this time.
"Sweetie he will just be glad that you are talking to him, he has been so worried that he did something wrong. Plus he could never hate you. No one can hate you. Not even your ex-boyfriend hates you." I laughed, took and deep breathe and nodded, I could do this. I had to do this. "Make sure you wear a coat, its cold outside." I rolled my eyes at my mum, kissed my dad on the cheek, walked to the door and rugged up, preparing myself both for the cold weather and what was about to happen.
The walk to Adrian's place wasn't long; we all lived very close together, which was good for me because my most immediate family was really just a hop, skip and jump away. Right now however, I was freaking out and wanted the walk to be slightly longer. Once I reached the door that could potentially lead to my utmost embarrassment, I knocked and let out a breath. This was it. The door opened within seconds and I jumped at the speed of which opened and suddenly I was faced with Adrian, I swallowed and stared dumbly at him for what felt like hours.
"You going to come in or are you just going to stand out there looking like a stunned fish? Personally I would prefer it if you came in, you may like winter but you're going to get sick." The first move was made, I forced my feet to move forward and entered him little unit. "Lina?" I looked over to Adrian and saw that he was looking at me with concern, concern that I hadn't noticed before. I launched myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck, I needed this, contact with Adrian made everything better. "I knew you weren't okay, Lina what's wrong?" He rubbed my back until I was ready to reply.
"I am okay, I promise. I just had a lot to think about, something hit me in the last few weeks of school and I needed to consider it before I could talk to you about it, and now I don't even know how to talk to you about it, because it's really weird and I don't know how you're going to react; I could show you but then you might freak out further and I am so confused." I had thought a lot about my feelings but I hadn't thought at all on how to tell him about them.
"Lina you can tell me anything, you know that. I may be an arse some of the time but your still my princess Lina." I chuckled, princess Lina, I hadn't heard that in a while. I took a deep breath and leaned in.
When my lips touched his, I felt all warm and fuzzy, when his arms wrapped around my waist to pull me closer I felt even better, I felt safe and happy and like a current of emotion was running through my body. But when he started kissing me back, I freaked out, this was what I wanted but it suddenly hit me how much I wanted it and what I would do if he freaked out, the logical part of me that recognised that he was kissing me back for a reason was non-existent. I broke the kiss, stammered a goodbye and ran.
I ran all the way back home, when my parents asked me what was wrong I merely shook my and went into my room. What had I done? My mind was in overdrive, I had ruined everything. I turned onto my stomach and let out a scream into my pillow and after everything that had happened today you would think falling asleep would be the least of my worries.
