Friday September 19

Sipping at her glass of cool water, Carrie settled into the love seat on the front porch and pulled her feet up beneath herself. With a long sigh she sat back and watched the lightning illuminating the sky, the heavy downpour of rain bringing a little relief to the uncomfortable heat. Rick had left a little over an hour ago, waking Carrie and apologising that he had to go, that they needed back up at the quarry. Abraham and some others had been there since the previous afternoon keeping an eye on things, doing what they could to ensure that the herd didn't break out should it become riled up by the bad weather. They all knew that a storm created perfect conditions for Walkers to become active, the sound, wind and changes in light giving more than enough stimulation. They thought they had been prepared, that things would be alright…judging by the way Rick got up to leave in the middle of the night that was no longer the case.

Unable to go with him or do anything from within Alexandria, Carrie had no choice but to try and go back to sleep. He had asked her to stay back, to be with Carl and Judith should anything happen, for God knew any number of things could go wrong. The herd at the quarry could break out, a tree could fall and bring down a panel of the walls. She was needed most at home right now, but that didn't make staying back any easier.

The bed was enormous without Rick there beside her, without the touch of his body or the occasional snore that passed his lips. After his abrupt departure she had tried to go back to sleep, but his absence made her feel strange and uncomfortable. It was silly to feel this way, she was a grown woman after all, but she missed having him there with her. Since she had moved in to this bedroom they hadn't needed to spend the night apart, she hadn't slept alone. He didn't take watch during the night, and usually went to bed before she did. Even Judith wasn't there beside her, instead sleeping through the storm from the comfort of her crib. Carrie longed for her to wake up and need comforting, for her to be scared of the thunder and insist on laying in her arms.

But that was unlikely to be the case. Though it had raged for hours now it seemed like the storm might be dying down. Thunder still rumbled in the distance, but the rain was easing and the flashes of lightning were becoming further and further apart. With any luck it would be gone before the morning arrived, leaving them with a beautiful clear day…the type of good weather that might see them returning to Washington.

As this thought occurred to her, Carrie gave a heavy sigh and took a sip of her water. She knew that Rick had no intention of returning to Washington to meet with Richard and his group, and she didn't blame him for it either. Though she had given them their assurances that they would do whatever they could to direct the herd north with Richard's help, there simply wasn't going to be enough time. The bad weather had raised the stakes, making it riskier and more unpredictable than before. If the quarry was damaged by the storm, if those trucks started shifting downhill…changing the route the herd took was too risky at the last minute. Perhaps if they had talked about this weeks ago things would have been different, but Richard's group had delayed their meeting by another week.

An enormous crash of thunder came out of nowhere, big enough that Carrie physically felt it. It was quickly followed by a low rumble that grew, and then there was a brief silence before the thunder sounded again. The rain grew heavier now, beating down on Alexandria and making her worry about those who were on watch, about the horses and chickens who Maggie had been worried about. It was a relief to suddenly feel cold rather than hot, yet despite this she opted to go back inside, feeling that now she might be able to go back to sleep.

Her heart lurched as she entered the house and heard the sound of Judith crying, feeling awful that she had left her up there alone. How long had she been crying for? How long ago had she awoken alone in her room, frightened by the storm that had roused her? She was sitting up in her crib when Carrie rushed back in, her face streaked with tears while her lower lip wobbled with each whimper. Apologising profusely she reached into the crib, bringing Judith into her arms as the thunder rumbled again. Though she was upset it seemed Judith was displeased with her, wailing and pushing away from her chest as she looked around for Rick instead.

"Dah-d," she wailed miserably, shuddering for breath.

"It's okay, it's okay," Carrie said urgently, regretting that she had actually wished for this. As her efforts failed she started to feel quite out of depth, this typically being one of the moments that she deferred to Rick, asking him to take over. She and Judith may have developed a wonderful bond, but she was still unable to compete with Rick's experience.

As Judith continued to cry Carrie started pacing the bedroom, talking to her and lightly bouncing her. She did everything she knew, making sure Judith had her duck to cuddle and reassuring her that Rick would be back later. She swayed and bounced and sang, even tried to make her laugh, but it seemed nothing would quell the fright she felt about the storm. Despite her efforts to sing and talk the storm was louder, the rain becoming so heavy that she couldn't hear herself think. As she despaired over Judith's crying she suddenly thought of Maggie next door, wondering if she was okay. Had Glenn also left to go to the quarry? Had Michonne? What if Maggie was all alone next door with a newborn baby in the middle of a raging storm?

Once she got Judith back to sleep she would go next door and check on her, happy to brave the wind and rain to ensure that she was alright. There was nothing she could do to help out with Herschel, but perhaps she could maybe…Carrie laughed to herself. Eugene would be of greater help than she, and he stoutly refused to hold his self appointed Godson unless his diaper was clean and his stomach full.

Judith's wailing had eased into quiet sobs of discontent, but still she refused to let Carrie properly cuddle her, instead sitting stark upright on her hip as she waited expectantly for Rick to return. Sharing her wish Carrie gave a heavy sigh, feeling dejected when Judith's foot brushed against the curve of her belly. She was now getting a startling insight into her future, namely one without Rick in it. They knew that every day they lived was a blessing, one that mostly stemmed from luck that could run out at any minute. If one day they were without him, what would become of them? The thought of becoming a mother without him by her side was unbearable. She didn't think she was capable of doing this alone…it would be hard enough to raise Carl and Judith without their father, let alone a third child who would never know him.

A short while later she heard footsteps in the hallway outside, but she knew better than to get her hopes up that it might be Rick. Instead she looked out and watched the shadows moving, and though she knew it was Carl there was still a part inside her that was afraid, that remembered how suddenly Pete had turned up that day. Even now there were still moments when she came around a corner or looked up from a book and expected to find him there in front of her. She would be afraid to look up, afraid to face him even though she knew that when she eventually did look up no would be there.

Just like those times the moving shadows in the hallway materialised into a silhouette she knew well, one that walked with the heavy shuffle of a teenager awoken in the middle of the night. Carl appeared in the open doorway and looked in, straightening the bandage over the right side of his face. He blinked slowly, and Carrie knew that just like Judith was he was looking for Rick.

"Everything okay?" she asked in concern. The only time he came into their room at night was when he wasn't feeling well, or that one time a nightmare had seen him slipping in to bed beside Rick. He was gone before the sun rose the next morning, not realising that Carrie knew he was there.

"Yeah," he muttered around a yawn. He peered into the bedroom as his brow furrowed, and Carrie anticipated his question before he asked it.

"He's gone out to the quarry," she said regretfully, having hoped Carl wouldn't know until the morning. He would only worry otherwise.

"Oh," he muttered, as disappointed as Carrie expected. Still rubbing the side of his face he started heading towards the stairs, but then he stopped and looked around. "Who else went?"

"I don't know. Probably Daryl too."

"And Michonne? Glenn?"

Though she knew he cared about their well being, she also knew the reason for his concern. "I don't know. Once I get Judy settled I'm going over to check on Ma-"

"It's alright, I got it," he waved her off.

"No, you shouldn't be going out," she said anxiously, wishing he wouldn't just brush her off. "It's dark, and raining."

"You shouldn't be going out either."

Moments later he was gone, the glow of light downstairs indicating he was looking for his jacket by the door. As Judith's crying started again Carrie's anxiety grew, and she wished she knew what to do. Carl shouldn't be going out there at night, she was certain Rick wouldn't have let him. Still bouncing Judith and trying to comfort her, Carrie went over to the window and pulled back the curtains. Just visible outside was the beam of a flashlight that went up the pavement, the only indication she had that Carl was alright.

She wished he hadn't gone, that she had insisted on going herself. She ought to have followed him downstairs, she ought to have insisted and made him listen. What if there were Walkers out there? What if the walls had come down and no one knew? Even if the worst hadn't happened, what if he fell over? He did still occasionally lose his footing when he wasn't concentrating, and his steadiness would be affected by the dark night and the harsh weather. If he fell over and badly hurt himself, would he be able to get back up? She imagined him laying there in the rain all night, forced to wait until the morning for someone to help him.

Only when she saw the beam of his flashlight returning did she breath a small sigh of relief, her anxiety easing until she felt sheepish. She never used to think the way she did now...she never used to torment herself with the worst possible scenarios of a situation. But these days she often felt like it was the first place her mind went, especially where Carl or Rick were concerned.

"Maggie's fine," he said when he returned. Though his pyjama's seemed a little damp his hair and face were relatively dry, indicating he had made efforts to keep his bandage out of the rain. "I went in and everything was quiet, Carol's jacket was on the hook."

"Thanks," she said with a heavy sigh. "If Carol's there, then Glenn and Michonne must have gone to the quarry."

Carl nodded in agreement as he came inside, reaching for his sister who was still crying. Having learnt not to take it to heart, Carrie was just relieved when Judith stopped crying for her old brother. She put her head on his shoulder and clung to him, whimpering until her eyes started to close. Feeling tired herself now, Carrie yawned and then lay down on the bed, propping herself up on one elbow while she watched Carl. A few minutes passed in silence while Carl swayed back and forth with his sister, rubbing her back in wide, soothing circles.

He was going through one hell of a tough time right now, having to accept that Rick couldn't be around as much right now while also digesting the news of the pregnancy. When he came home yesterday evening things had felt awkward and strange, even between he and Rick. None of them were quite certain about what to say or do now that Carl knew, their difficulty made even greater by the fact that they couldn't openly talk about it. In a rare treat Daryl had joined them for dinner last night rather than stay on watch, though his presence there meant that they couldn't address the elephant in the room. Nevertheless Carrie stood by her request that news of her pregnancy remained a secret, even if it meant that they couldn't freely talk about it yet.

Impatient, Carl came to the bed and began lowering Judith down into the centre, remaining strong when she started to cry again. He refused to let her cling to him, firmly telling her that it was time to go to sleep, but like it often did his resolve began to crumble. Carrie watched in amusement as he gave in, rolling his eyes as he lay down beside his sister and settled his head onto Rick's pillow. He tried to put his arm around her, but as she rubbed her eyes and started to cry again Judith gave him a harsh rejection. With a heavy sigh she turned her back and moved towards Carrie instead, dissatisfied with her brother's lack of enthusiasm. Not taking no for an answer, she wrangled her way into Carrie's arms and finally settled with her head resting on her bicep. While at first it was a lovely way to embrace her little girl, she knew that in a few minutes her arm would start to go numb...she had no idea how Rick managed to let her sleep with her head on his arm or shoulder, how he tolerated the numb hand that must develop.

When Judith closed her eyes and began sucking her thumb Carl too gave a heavy sigh, grunting to himself as he started to get up. When she realised what he was doing Carrie felt a pang of disappointment, realising for the first time that she had hoped he would stay a little while.

"Don't go," she said quickly, cringing when she realised how awkward that sounded. "I mean...you don't have to go...if you don't want to."

There was a pause, Carl's face cast in the shadow of Judith's night light. "I...Is something wrong?"

Carrie hesitated, her heart pounding as she realised she was putting herself out there...this was her reaching out to him, hoping he reached back. "Nothing's wrong..." she started before trailing off. She sighed softly, being bravely honest. "It's just...it's kind of lonely without your dad."

There was another pause, and then slowly Carl laid back down beside Judith. "Yeah, I guess so." He got comfortable, plumping up Rick's pillow before laying his head on it.

"I got used to sleeping beside him. It's strange being alone."

"Yeah, I got used to him too. I could hardly sleep the first night in my own room."

Carrie smiled, glad that he probably couldn't see her face clearly. "Neither could your dad...he was awake the whole night checking on you."

"I know. He checked on me twice!"

Carrie chuckled now. "Actually, he checked on you three times. It would have been four, but I stopped him."

To her pleasant surprise, Carl also laughed. "He still does it you know. Every night before he goes to bed he comes in, and then usually in the middle of the night too."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he usually catches me reading," he grinned.

Sharing his amusement, Carrie moved onto her back and gently readjusted Judith, glad when she allowed her head to be placed onto a pillow rather than her arm. She stretched out and looked up at the ceiling, feeling infinitely less lonely now. It was nice having the kids there beside her, listening to Judith sucking her thumb and Carl's slow breathing. She had noticed over the last few months that he slept very differently to Rick, that he was either flat on his back or sprawled out on his front, usually with half his limbs hanging off the bed. Rick on the other hand slept on his side, only occasionally found on his front or back. It made for quite the difference when sharing the bed with Carl, for although there was more than enough space for the two of them, she was rather conscious of keeping her arms and legs on her own side, of not hogging the sheets.

"My mom didn't like it much when Dad worked the graveyard shifts. She used to let me sleep in the bed with her. I think she missed him too."

Carrie's heart warmed, for Carl didn't often bring up his mother with her. "That's sweet."

"I guess so."

"Did you miss your dad when he was gone at night?"

Carl shook his head. "No. Mum didn't like it so much, but I did. He was at work while I was asleep, so I didn't miss out on seeing him." There was a brief pause, and then he continued. "He'd come home in the morning and have breakfast with us, or he'd come to my school assembly if it was on. And at night if Sha..."

There was no doubt whose name he had been about to say, nor why he had trailed off awkwardly. Rick had told him about what happened between Shane and Lori, making sure that he heard it from him and not someone else like Ron. She didn't know exactly what he had told him, for she hadn't been privy to the conversation or Carl's reaction, and she wondered exactly how much he knew.

"At night if Shane..." Carrie said, prompting him to finish his thought.

Carl flexed his jaw for a moment, but then reluctantly continued. "At night if Shane was finishing when Dad started, he would stay back a bit longer so Dad could be late. Dad would stay back and read with me a bit."

"What did you guys read?"

Carl shrugged, picking at his fingernails now that he was less comfortable with the conversation. "I dunno. Sometimes I had to read out loud to him, like for my homework or something. Dad didn't really like reading out loud."

"Yeah, he doesn't like reading to Judy very much."

"He did read the first Harry Potter book to me…and we went to see the movie too."

To her disappointment silence resumed now, the atmosphere still feeling a little uncomfortable in the wake of mentioning Shane. Nevertheless she tried to relax, to put them both at ease. It was unusual for she and Carl to feel awkward and uncomfortable around one another, for aside from his bad attitude of late, they'd been getting on quite well. Thankfully they had managed to bond over Pete's attack, both of them content to stay at home while they both recovered in their own ways. Now the news of the pregnancy had made things a little strange again, though she had anticipated it to a certain degree.

As if reading her mind, Carl brought up that very subject. "You can't feel the baby move yet, can you?"

This was more of a statement than a question, but regardless it made her smile. She was glad he was asking about the baby, that he was interested.

"No," she said softly, wondering if she should explain a little more. "Sometimes I think I can feel movement…but then I fart and it goes away."

There was a brief pause of disbelief before Carl laughed, the joyous sound enjoyable to hear over the sound of the rain. She could feel him shaking a little, just able to make out the way he raised his hand and brushed it through his hair as he laughed. "Are you still feeling sick sometimes?" he asked, sobering now. "My mom didn't get sick much, only when we were cooking meat."

"I'm feeling okay," she assured him. "Thanks."

"So this is why you don't go hang out with Rosita anymore? Because you can't drink alcohol?"

"I do hang out with 'Sita. All the time."

"It's just, I heard Rosita say that she thought you were mad at her when you stopped coming over. She was worried she upset you."

She could tell by the tone of voice what he was getting at, that he wanted her to tell Rosita the truth. He'd brought that up the previous afternoon, insisting that they immediately tell their family about the baby. Thinking about what he said she wondered if Rosita had really said that, if she was really concerned about something she said. Much like Abraham, Rosita had the tendency to speak her mind and use somewhat colourful language, particularly after a few drinks. Had something been said that Carrie might have taken the wrong way?

"I'll tell her soon. When I'm ready to," she reiterated.

Getting the hint, Carl changed the subject. "Do you…do you have names yet?"

"No. I haven't started thinking."

"I wish Mom had told someone what she wanted Judy to be named."

Carrie didn't want to entertain the idea of not being around for her baby, but there was no denying they needed to prepare for that. "I'll make sure I tell you and your dad. Maybe you could help us come up with ideas? We could start a list on the refrigerator or something."

"Yeah, cool," he said, sounding like he meant it. "Just a heads up, Dad won't like names that can be shortened. You know like Rachael to Rach, or Cooper to Coop."

Unable to help herself, Carrie laughed at the hypocrisy. "His name is shorted, so is yours and mine…so is Judith's."

"Have you noticed he never uses Judy? He always calls her Judith."

"Unless he calls her Judy Pie," she reminded him, both of them giving a soft laugh of amusement. Carrie loved that Rick called his daughter by that name, loving how sweet and affectionate he could be with her.

"I remember Herschel saying once that she was so cute he could eat her all up, I think that's where Dad got the name from. That joke's not as cute these days…"

"No, it's not," she agreed morosely. There was a brief pause, the weight of the world beginning to make itself known in that moment. "I wish I knew Herschel. I wish I knew all of your group."

"Even my mom?" he joked.

"Yeah," she replied seriously. "I wish she could see you and Judy…so does your dad."

"I'd only see half of my mom," he quipped, barely withholding his laugh.

Though she tried not to show it, Carrie was cringing at this light hearted joke. She knew that Carl made jokes about his injury as a way of coping, a way to protect himself from ridicule by saying it first, but Carrie couldn't stand it. Rick tolerated it and laughed for Carl's sake, to be the captive audience to his humour that a dad should be, but Carrie just couldn't bring herself to do the same. It was too soon for her, the circumstances of the injury too difficult to joke about yet.

"Sorry," Carl muttered, remembering that she didn't like those jokes.

"It's okay," she tried to lie, but her voice was a little too high pitched for him to believe her. To her relief he changed the subject, but quickly she was wishing he would go back to the eye jokes.

"You never talk about your group," he commented. "You ask us about ours, but you never say anything about your own."

"No, I don't really."

"Why?" he asked tentatively, continuing a moment later. "Is it too hard on you?"

"No. I just…" she started, struggling to put her feelings into words.

How could she explain the disconnection she felt towards the people she had started out with? Those people existing to her in vague recollections, even Wade who had saved her life early on, even Shannon who she had loved so much. It wasn't them that she recalled most clearly from the days before meeting Rick. It was Granger's group that she remembered, the ordeal she endured for the people she cared about…she remembered the months of being alone on foot after Terminus, being lost in the woods and covered in Walker guts to protect herself, barely surviving.

"Shannon was a little younger than you when she died," she began, the familiar ache in her chest reminding her of why she didn't like to talk about Shannon. "We used to play cards a lot. She wasn't very good at telling jokes like you are, she always started laughing before the punch line."

"When did she die?"

She cast her mind back, trying to recall time lines in the days when they struggled to keep track of the days and weeks. "Not quite a year ago, I think."

"That's not that long ago."

"No. But it feels like a very long time."

"It's kind'a weird…we've only known you for a couple of months."

"Almost seven months."

Carl made a sound of disbelief. "Feels like longer. I still remember the day we found you. You looked like a Walker."

"That's because I was wearing one," she quipped. "I remember you giving me a toothbrush, and a comb…it felt so good to brush my teeth. I'll always remember you giving me that. Do you remember sharing your MnMs with me at Silverpine?"

"No. Sharing candy doesn't sound like me."

She chuckled, for in fact Carl was rather generous with sharing his candy. "You did."

They fell into silence as the sound of rolling thunder caught their attention. As they listened to it Carrie looked down at Judith, seeing from the soft glow of the night light that she was now fast asleep, her tears for Rick forgotten. She started to feel a little cold, and when the heavy rain started up again Carrie sat up and pulled the comforter over them, making sure to share it with Carl. It was one thing to hog the blankets from Rick, for she enjoyed the way he tugged them back when he felt cold, but she felt a little more generous towards Carl.

She was glad that they continued to talk for a little while more, enjoying his company the way she had been over the last few months, but it wasn't to last. As the minutes passed their voices grew heavier with sleep, and when Carl fell silent Carrie turned her concentration to the concern she felt for Rick and their group. She knew there was no point in worrying about them, that it wouldn't help them even if they were in trouble, but it couldn't be avoided. Long after Carl had fallen back asleep Carrie lay awake thinking about them, hoping that the quarry had held steady through the storm, that everyone was safe and warm inside the cars.

She had to have fallen asleep at some stage, for when she was first aware of movement in her bedroom her eyelids were so heavy she could barely open them. Conscious of someone's presence she listened as they bustled around the room and then went into the bathroom, the sound of the door closing ever so softly indicating that it wasn't Carl getting up, but that Rick was home. Though they occasionally clashed when it came to sharing a living space together, he was considerate when she was sleeping, perhaps a habit left over from his days of coming home late while Lori was sleeping. She kept listening hard, and the sound of the toilet flushing in the downstairs bathroom followed by feet on the stairs assured her that Daryl too was home, that he was going to his attic bedroom to get some sleep.

When Rick came out she listened as he removed his duty belt and set it onto the dresser, and when she heard the sound of his clothes being discarded onto the floor she didn't protest. The mess could wait until later, for now all she wanted was him. With his half of the bed occupied he slipped into the small space behind her, and she quickly moved over to give him a little more room, sharing her pillow with him. It was with a heavy sigh that he lay down and put his arm around her, a sigh that Carrie echoed. She breathed in the smell of his body, judging that he hadn't been exerting himself. There was no need to ask how things at the quarry went. The fact that he was home, slipping into bed as clean smelling as when he left indicated that things were alright.

"What's wrong with Carl?" Rick muttered, nuzzling the back of her neck as he settled.

"Nothing," she assured him. "I missed you, so I asked him to stay."

"Mmmm'kay," he muttered.

"Have you got enough room?" she asked, noting how much space the kids were taking up. "You warm?"

The sound of affirmation he made was barely discernible, and he didn't respond at all when she asked again. With her assurance that Carl was fine he had fallen asleep almost immediately, his body against hers dead weight with exhaustion. Nevertheless she revelled in it, taking in the peacefulness of the moment. Right now she had everything she needed, her family all together exactly where they belonged, safe and sound.


Sleeping heavily, Rick had to be awaken twice that morning, Carrie intruding on his sleep first at nine o'clock, and then at ten. Though his reception of her was less than welcoming, he eventually managed to haul himself out of bed, his body aching with exhaustion. He was no longer used to being hauled out of his bed in the middle of the night for a fence breach or to take a shift on watch, particularly given how he'd taken a step back in the wake of Carl's injury. These days he had the luxury of going to bed at a reasonable time and then sleeping through the night, of being with his family. However things had changed last night, the magnitude of the storm prompting Abraham and those at the quarry to call for back up. Things had started going pear shaped, the only thing holding one of the trucks up on the quarry being some heavy duty chains and a tractor. Were it not for the efforts of Abraham's crew Rick was certain the herd would have broken out in the middle of the night…with them unprepared it would have been disastrous.

The majority of the fuss had concluded by the time Rick and the others made it to the quarry, and with the trucks looking to hold for the time being they remained as a precaution. They needed as many people there as possible, they had to be ready to enact their plans at a moment's notice. It was only an hour before sunrise that more people had turned up, relieving Abraham's crew and those others who had been there throughout the night. Exhausted, Rick had made just enough time to debrief a pyjama clad Reg and Deanna before going home and collapsing into his bed, almost immediately falling asleep.

He'd been worried when he came home to find Carl asleep in the master bedroom, for given how much he enjoyed the newfound freedom and privacy of his own bedroom he ventured into Rick's only when something was wrong. Glad that Carrie was awake he had asked her about it, and her answer had warmed his heart. It was nice to know that she missed him when he was gone, but even nicer to know that she had asked Carl to keep her company and that he had acquiesced. Though he hadn't said it to her, truth be told he had been worried about how news of her pregnancy would affect Carl. He'd worried that it would further affect his poor attitude to her, that it would make things worse.

While he tended to reassure Carrie that Carl's bad attitude was just him being a teenager, it had in fact worried him. He wanted them to get along, for his son to accept her as a more meaningful part of their family, not just a member of their group. But thankfully things seemed to be okay between them, or at least that's how it seemed on the surface. Surely Carl wouldn't have spent the night in Carrie's room if he was feeling less than amicable towards her.

Knowing he had another long day ahead of him, Rick stepped into the shower and woke himself up, thinking ahead as he yawned widely. They were enacting last minute plans to do another dry run of their plan, everyone not already at the quarry set to leave within the hour. While he knew it was the right thing to do, Rick couldn't help but feel unsure of his decision to leave out Richard's group, to intentionally go back on the plans they had made. The agreement reached was that they would meet again on the next clear day, that Richard's people would help with the herd in exchange for Alexandria sending them in a particular direction. While the appeal of extra help was certainly something to consider, Rick knew that it wasn't going to happen. There simply wasn't enough time, particularly after the storm from last night. The risk was too great.

Judging by the clear blue sky outside the window, Richard's group would be going back to the Washington Monument today, would be waiting there for Rick and his people. What would happen if Rick didn't turn up? Would they believe them when they said they didn't have enough time? If Richard found out Rick never had any intentions of including them, their potential trade relationship would be tarnished from the outset. His choice to evacuate the quarry sooner rather than later could burn a bridge their community desperately needed. Was that worth it?

When he finished up in the shower and dressed he made a half hearted attempt to make the bed before departing. Still securing his duty belt around his waist he came out into the upstairs hallway and looked around, noting the sound of familiar voices coming from Carl's bedroom. The relationship between Carl and Enid had been in the back of Rick's mind lately, for although on the surface there had been no change in their status of friends, they had indeed become closer in the aftermath of Pete's attack.

Much like with Michonne, Enid had been one of the few people Carl would happily spend much time with, slightly less self conscious with her than anyone one else. It had been a slow start for him resuming the friendship, and it was clear to all that Enid was nervous to confront what had happened to him, but in the months that passed they had become close again. But although nothing seemed to indicate they were taking things further than just being friends, Rick still found himself irrationally worrying about what they got up to. It had prompted him to instate a rule that the bedroom door be left open when they were upstairs, though a part of him knew that he was being overbearing, and unfairly so. Just because Enid was a girl, that didn't mean he had the right to treat her any differently to Mikey.

But were they…had they ever kissed again? Carl had told him about his first kiss with Enid, shyly recounting the events and then posing some tricky questions to him. That had been months ago, and as their friendship grew Rick wondered what else might be happening between the two teens…what were the rules for this type of thing? There was nothing wrong with a couple of teenagers kissing, if that's indeed what they were doing, but that didn't mean they were doing anything else. Carl would tell him if something else happened…right? At this Rick knew it was wishful thinking. As a teenager he had been close with his dad, but there was no way in hell he would ever tell him what he did with girls. His only comfort was that he doubted Carl would have the self-confidence to take a step like that, not now at least.

Without knocking Rick pushed the bedroom door open and went inside, looking at the two teenagers who were in there. Carl lay down on his front, his chin propped up on his hands as he watched the television screen, praising Enid was who skilfully evading capture on whatever Playstation game they were playing.

"Hi Rick," Enid greeted him politely, though she didn't tear her eyes away from the television.

"Hey," Carl added, he too not looking up.

Rick rolled his eyes to himself, knowing that he was overreacting when it came to Carl and Enid. "Was everything alright last night?"

"Yeah," he nodded, sparing him a glance this time. "Judy was cryin', that's all."

"Well thanks for stickin' around, for helping Carrie out."

"She asked me to stay."

Rick nodded. "Well, thanks."

Hitting the pause button, Enid lowered her controller and turned to him. "Are you going to the quarry?"

"Yes," he said, and she cut him off before he could continue.

"Can I come too?" she asked eagerly, her eye alight with hopefulness.

He shook his head in apology, noting that Carl too was disappointed. On one or two occasions they had allowed Carl and Enid to accompany them out to various locations, both of them eager to not only help with the work, but to get outside the walls of Alexandria.

"I'm sorry, not this time. We might be opening it today."

"So, you need extra help then?" Carl pressed, sitting up and looking at Rick properly. "You'll need-"

"Someone to take care of things back home?" Rick cut him off. "Someone to look after you sister?"

Carl paused. "Can't Carrie do that?"

Rick narrowed his eyes, knowing what Carl was getting at, that she ought not be leaving due to her pregnancy. "Can't you also do that?"

Getting the hint, Carl backed off that train of thought, but he wasn't done. "What if Enid and I cou-"

"The answer is no," Rick said gently, and though his tone of voice was friendly Carl knew better than to continue pushing. "I'll see you later."

Carl dejectedly said goodbye, actually going to the effort of giving him a quick wave before Enid hit play and resumed their game. It was exactly the kind of farewell Rick preferred, for although going outside the walls was a risk to his life, he hated the notion of extended farewells every time. They couldn't live life on a knife's edge any more than they already did…sometimes it was better to say goodbye as if one was merely going to the store like in the old days.

His stomach growled as he came downstairs and smelled the aroma of cooked eggs and toast, and he smiled to himself when he realised Carrie must be making breakfast. Daryl and Glenn sat at the kitchen counter with a mug of coffee each, the former's chin resting in his hand as he watched Carrie bustling around near the stove.

"Good morning," he said to them all, pressing a kiss to Carrie's cheek before opening the cupboard to fetch a coffee mug. "Sorry for being an asshole when you woke me up."

She muttered something under her breath, but clearly he had been forgiven. "Breakfast is nearly ready. Not even burnt this time."

"Well, I thank you," he smiled, pouring himself a cup of coffee before topping hers up. "What a treat."

"Treat or not, you better watch this one" Daryl began gruffly, gesturing to Carrie. "You got a borderline pervert here."

Carrie sighed, looking at him over her shoulder. "I said I was sorry."

"Now this, I want to hear," Rick muttered, topping up Daryl and Glenn's coffee before returning the pot to the cradle.

"She comes in to wake me up this mornin', an-"

"You asked me to wake you up!" Carrie interjected, pointing to the note they had left on the refrigerator.

"Didn't ask yah to take a perv."

"Well since when do you sleep naked?" she protested.

Rick burst out laughing, loving the look of dismay on her face. Judging by the twitch in the corner of Daryl's mouth he was trying not to laugh too, clearly only teasing her. "She ripped those sheets clean off me, and there I was in all m' glory."

"I said I was sorry," Carrie said emphatically, meaning it.

"Sorry ain't gonna bring back m' dignity."

"What dignity?" Glenn questioned in good humour. "Everyone of us has seen your ass. I've seen more of you than I ever wanted to."

"You have?" Rick questioned, curious to hear this.

"Yeah. Back when he had that boil Michonne used to squeeze for him."

Daryl shrugged. "No one told you lot to watch."

"You do have a cute ass," Carrie teased, looking at Daryl affectionately. "We all think so."

Dismayed, he turned to Rick for support. "You gonna let this slide, man? Control your woman."

"Wish I could," he muttered, sipping his coffee. "Eggs are burning, by the way."

Swearing, Carrie spun back around and took the pan off the stove, muttering under her breath as she hastily stirred the eggs.

"I'm gon' have mine to go," Daryl said, drinking the last of his coffee and then pushing the empty mug towards the sink.

Given the long day ahead of him, Carrie seemed not to mind that he was lazily discarding his empty mug for her to clean up. She buttered some toast and topped it with some scrambled eggs, gladly passing it over to Daryl and Glenn on a couple of napkins. With a hasty thanks they took their breakfast in one hand and departed together, Daryl saying goodbye to Judith and nudging her with his boot when she didn't respond. She followed them over to the door and waved them off, knowing that if he had his crossbow she wasn't allowed to go with him. While Judith stood at the door and watched him leave, Rick turned his attention back to Carrie, gratefully accepting the plate of toast and eggs she had prepared for him.

"Thank you," he said gratefully, taking Daryl's place at the counter. "Was everything alright last night?" he asked, though not for the first time.

"I told you, everything was fine," she assured him as she started to tidy up. "I asked Carl to stay a bit, that's all."

"Good," he muttered, digging in to his breakfast.

"We got to talking," she smiled. "Carl and I."

"About?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Just stuff…the baby."

"Oh yeah? What did have to say?"

"He asked if it was moving yet, if we had any names picked out."

Rick gave a low chuckle, this not being something he was looking forward to. Though he and Carrie got along quite well, he wasn't so sure that would be the case when it came to choosing a mutually agreeable name for their child.

"It was nice," she added, her voice sounding wistful. "He and I haven't talked like that for ages."

"You two should hang out today, let him stay home from school," he suggested. "You're not coming to the quarry, right?"

Carrie hesitated, knowing that this was a sore point for the both of them. "Do you need me there?" she asked in concern, knowing that today was potentially risky. "At all?"

"No," he shook his head. "It's your plan, your strategy, but we can do it without you."

She seemed torn, obligated to work alongside the people who were carrying out a plan of her making, but there was no denying the risk for her was greater. "If you don't need me, then I'll stay."

Though he was relieved he tried not to make a big deal of it. "Okay," he said, continuing to eat. "It's pantry day, right?"

"Yeah, Judy and I are going now. You want me to get something for you?"

He paused, considering his answer. Some Coca-Cola might be a nice treat at the end of a long day, but it was strictly rationed. "Maybe some more powdered eggs?" he suggested, gesturing to his plate.

As he thought it might, Carrie's face lit up. "It tastes alright?"

"It's good," he assured her, stretching the truth only a little. There was only so much you could do to make powdered eggs taste like the real thing, and the fresh eggs from their chickens were too precious to use on an indulgent breakfast. Nevertheless he knew what that compliment meant to Carrie, that she was glad to have done a good job.

"Powdered eggs then. Maybe some Coca-Cola too?" she suggested. "It'll be cold by the time you get home."

Finishing the last bite of his toast, Rick smiled, wondering how she knew what he was thinking. "Get Pepsi instead. Carl likes it better."

Before he could reach the dishwasher Carrie took the plate from him, content to handle the clean up so he could get to the quarry. "I'll see what I can do," she said softly, her eyes drifting shut as she leant in to kiss him.

He accepted her kiss gladly, allowing his hand to brush against the front of her lower belly. They'd overcome an important milestone yesterday, and so far it seemed the news of her pregnancy had gone down well with Carl. It was a great relief to the both of them, and though she wasn't yet ready to tell others until the quarry was taken care of, it was at least something they could look forward to. Ready to go they departed, walking hand in hand with Judith between them, her slower pace holding them up somewhat. Nevertheless Rick didn't mind, glad for the extra minute or so the delay gave him with his family. Too soon they reached the intersection by Jessie's house, and it was there they had to part ways.

"I'll see you tonight," he said, kissing her on the cheek and then doing the same to Judith. "Be good for Mom."

"Be safe out there."

He left without further delay, neither he nor Carrie in the habit of extending goodbyes longer than necessary, and he joined the rest of the team down at the south gate while she headed to the Pantry. As he waited for the last few people to join them Rick looked around at those who were there already, confident in the group of people who had volunteered. The day they held the meeting in the church he knew that those who volunteered were going to need some work, that even after all the months his group had been in Alexandria working to prepare them for the world they still had not seen what was out there. But in the three weeks that passed those who had raised their hands had come a long way. Just being outside the walls working to move cars and put up a wall had been enough to acclimate them to their surroundings, to give many the opportunity to enact the skills Rick's group had been slowly teaching them for the last few months. As he looked around at people like Anna and Barnes, people he wouldn't have even considered many months ago, he was confident that today they could handle themselves out there.

"Is this all of us?" Lana asked, coming over to him. She had been standing with Reg and Deanna for the last little while, talking with them at great length about their plans for that day.

"A couple more to come," he said as he looked around, sharing her urgency to depart. "We're waiting on Annie and Heath, they shouldn't be far."

"That's all?" Lana queried. "No Carrie?"

Rick turned to her, surprised by the way she sounded both pleased and disappointed at the same time. She'd made no effort to conceal her mistrust of Carrie, her disdain and refusal to follow her lead having been made clear to all. He knew she would be glad that Carrie was sitting this out today, but why did she simultaneously sound disappointed?

"She's busy at the moment," he lied, interested in her reaction. "She'll probably meet us at the quarry."

Lana managed to keep her face free of much reaction, and simply nodded her head. "I just spoke to Reg and Deanna. They're all up to speed on the plans."

Rick tilted his head a little, somewhat annoyed by the initiative she had taken. Was Lana getting to big for her boots, too comfortable stepping into roles of leadership in his community? Or was she just trying to be well organised and prepared? He chose to believe the latter, concerned that he began disliking her purely because Carrie did.

"Well, thank you Lana."

Not noticing his tone she quickly departed and started rounding up people, giving the five minute warning for their scheduled departure. From afar Rick watched her, beginning to understand why she and Carrie clashed so often. In many ways they were quite similar, both of them natural leaders when given the chance, and both of them frustratingly stubborn at times.

A few minutes passed before the last people arrived, and Rick was forced to hold his tongue when Annie and Heath arrived with Nicholas in tow. Three weeks ago when he had accepted Nicholas as a volunteer Rick had no intention of actually allowing him to come along, but in the days that passed so many other things had come to mind. News of Carrie's pregnancy, bad weather, the group in Washington. To his frustration Nicholas had simply inserted himself into the work crew, never leaving Glenn's side as if the two had suddenly become tethered to one another. When Rick had brought it up with him Glenn had been adamant that it was okay, that he was handling Nicholas, and it was with reluctance that Rick allowed it upon his request. The fact that Carrie was no longer involved in the quarry evacuation was the lone factor that made Rick accept Nicholas' presence. Had she still been involved she would have pitched a grand fit the moment she saw him.

With the last of them having arrived they began piling into their two vehicles. As he prepared to take the front passenger seat of the Hyundai Rick took pause and looked around, going about his usual routine of double checking who was coming with them. Giving a brief wave to Reg and Deanna he glanced up at the watch tower where Spencer was taking a double shift, confident that Rosita had all of the posts sufficiently covered. Only when Eugene started opening the gate did Rick take his seat in the car and close the door, mentally preparing himself for the world outside the safety of their home.

They departed Alexandria without a hitch, Rick watching in the side mirrors as each vehicle exited before the gates began to close. They drove in silence with Lana at the wheel, Rick trying not to make it obvious that he was watching her from the corner of his eye. He was becoming more conscious of the fact that Carrie's dislike for Lana was rubbing off on him too, and that he shouldn't allow that to happen. It wasn't dislike he felt for Lana, but more a combination of mistrust and pity. Though their surveillance of her group made it clear she didn't want to rob Alexandria, he still felt a certain level of caution towards her, concerned that she might eventually give in to Vetor's insistence. That was where the pity came in, pitying that no one in her direct group seemed to have her back…he knew from his own experience after the Green farm fell that this could feel incredibly lonely.

"Rick, do you copy?"

Concerned to hear Deanna's voice of the radio, he removed it from his duty belt and quickly responded. "I copy."

"I'm afraid you need to come back. Carl's been taken to the Infirmary, he was just in a fight."

Rick looked at the radio in astonishment, and it took a moment for him to comprehend what Deanna had just told him. They'd been gone for only ten minutes, what the hell had happened? Quicker than he to respond, Lana was already slowing their vehicle down and pulling it to the side of the road before awaiting further instructions.

"How hurt is he?" he asked, dreading the answer.

"I'm not sure, I haven't seen him myself," Deanna replied. "But you need to come back."

Rick swore under his breath, grateful to the rest of his group who were already taking steps to accomodate the change of plans. The other vehicle came to a stop behind his, Daryl's bike pulling up alongside the passenger door so they could speak briefly.

"You wan' a ride back?" he asked, gesturing to his bike.

Rick shook his head, stepping out of the car and taking a quick look around. "No, you need to go, we need the bike for the dry run."

"I'll take you back," Lana offered, already directing their other passengers Carter, Mitchell and Sturgess to join the van behind them. "The rest of you should go on ahead. I can catch up later."

The others looked to him for agreement, which he readily gave. "Glenn and Daryl, you're in charge of the dry run. Figure this out with Abraham until I can get back."

"You are coming back?" Glenn clarified.

"Unless you hear otherwise, yes." He glanced at Lana and gestured to the car, hurrying her. "Let's go."

They filed back into the vehicles and then as if there had been no hitch the others departed, the van and Daryl's motorbike passing them before Lana executed a rough U-turn. Rick was grateful to her, for the way she pressed her foot down on the accelerator without concern with conserving gas the way they normally did. They had been ten minutes into their journey, more than halfway to the quarry already, but they made it back to Alexandria in barely half that time. The gate opened in anticipation and they were waved in by Deanna, the streets clear of people to quickly admit their vehicle through the community and right to the Infirmary's doorstep. As he stepped out he spared a quick murmur of gratitude for Lana, and when he crossed the front porch he looked around, wondering who had been involved in the fight with Carl. He had his suspicions, he just needed the confirmation.

Enid was waiting on the porch outside, Carl's hat clasped firmly in her lap as she waited, but Rick didn't spare her a greeting. Inside he found Carrie was pacing back and forth, her face pale and eyes wide with concern, and she breathed a visible sigh of relief when she saw him. She immediately came towards him, her features an insightful gaze into her panic.

"Rick, I'm sorry," she began, trailing off awkwardly as if scolding herself for the apology. "He won't let me in there," she concluded, gesturing to the curtains drawn around one of the beds.

He nodded and brushed his hand over her shoulder as he passed, not knowing what to say in response. Instead he went straight to the curtains and slipped inside, not announcing his arrival or asking for permission. He found Carl laying on his left side, his legs curled up and his arms crossed over his chest as he tried to stop trembling. Denise stood over him in concern, her gloved hands holding some surgical towels in place over his right eye socket. They both looked up at Rick's arrival, both of them as relieved as the other that he was there.

"What happened?" he asked gently, keeping his tone of voice low and even.

"F-fucking Ron," Carl moaned, his voice showing how much pain he was in. His body was taut with pain, his breaths coming in shuddered gasps as he tried to breathe through it. "He doesn't get it."

His suspicions confirmed Rick held his tongue, not wanting to speak his mind in front of Carl. "What doesn't he get?"

"Enid. She doesn't have to be his friend if she doesn't want to be…and it's not my fault if she doesn't," he said bitterly, trailing off before taking another shuddering breath. "He went straight for my face…he planned it."

Rick swore under his breath, infuriated but unable to do anything just yet. He wanted to go out there and find Ron, to wrap his hands around the little asshole's neck and squeeze until he got the message. Allowing himself this fantasy, he sat down and took Carl's hand, grateful when Rosita came in a minute later. In a plastic tray she carried a small needle and vial, the arrival of which Carl looked upon with great relief. Without wasting time she swiftly administered the much needed pain relief, and ten minutes later Carl lay still and quiet, doing as Denise asked by taking deep breaths.

When she pulled back the towels and observed the damage Rick stood to his feet and looked too, his heart aching for what his son was going through. The wound had been slow to heal that was for sure, but whatever blows Ron delivered had done some damage. It appeared the worst of the bleeding had stopped, but the surrounding edges that were on the brink of healing were open again, likely to require stitching. As Denise cautiously removed the sterile gauze that typically packed the wound Rick didn't allow himself to look away. He wanted to, his stomach turning and his heart hurting when he saw the extent of the wound, but he always looked. It felt like his duty to know exactly what condition Carl's injury was in, exactly how bad it was every time the dressing was changed.

"Does it need cleaning?" he asked, his eyes raking the area for dirt or debris.

Denise shook her head before instructing Rosita to prepare supplies for some sutures. "The bandage was still intact when he got here."

Grateful for the small blessing, Rick resumed his seat and looked at Carl. "What started all this?" he asked, seeking more information.

More settled now that the pain had eased up, Carl answered. "He's jealous of me," he muttered, an observation Rick had made before. "Enid and I were going back to see Carol about something. He just came out and starting hitting me."

"How many times did he hit you?"

"I don't know. I couldn't get him off me, he was just…"

Carl trailed off miserably, once again reminded of how weak he had become in the months that elapsed since his injury. Though on the whole he had recovered well, infections and illness had ravaged him, and despite growing almost an inch taller he hadn't gained any weight.

"Tara was outside the Infirmary, she got him off me. I think she kicked him too."

At this Rick glanced up at Rosita, querying her for more information.

"He hurt his hand," she remarked, her tone indicating she didn't give a shit.

Carl gave a bitter laugh, his mouth twisted into a miserable scowl. "I hope it was the hand he jerks off with," he muttered so quietly Rick almost didn't hear.

Though he echoed Carl's bitter laugh, Rick managed a genuine smile. "That's the spirit," he praised.

Rick stayed by his side as Denise carefully attended to his injuries, and as each suture was applied he watched Carl's face, ready to speak up should he see any sign of pain. But Carl lay still and quiet, his remaining eye closed like it usually was. Having his bandage changed or his wound looked at was the time he felt most vulnerable, the only time he would tolerate Rick holding his hand anymore. To everyone's relief Denise was finished in less than half an hour, a new dressing applied and held in place with a little tape.

"I want you to stay in for the afternoon," she requested. "A little more pain relief and some rest. Then you can go home. Okay?"

"Thanks," he said, readily agreeing with her.

Like always he was a little light headed from the pain relief, and so Rick helped him to the bathroom and then waited outside, his arms folded as he allowed himself a few moments of anger and resentment. Jessie had one responsibility in this community, and that was looking after her children. No one asked her to do anything else, everyone conscious of allowing her and her boys time to grieve regardless of who they grieved for, but Rick was furious with her now. This wasn't the first time Ron had been a thorn in their side, for this was perhaps the third time he and Carl had argued over their respective friendships with Enid and Mikey. All Jessie had to do was keep him away from Carl, and she couldn't manage it. It infuriated Rick to no end, making him want to march over there and tell her in person how much she had fucked up.

But as usual he resisted the urge, knowing that he was too close to the problem to be objective with what he said. He risked making things worse, risked ruining whatever semblance of normalcy Jessie had managed to create for her family. So instead he imagined it, enjoying a brief fantasy in which the Andersons were no longer around, no longer a problem. Like always it was a relief to imagine, even if it would never come to fruition.

"I know you have to go," Carl muttered when he lay back down on the Infirmary bed. "You don't have to hang around just for me."

"I'm staying in for a while," was his automatic reply. Unfolding a blanket he spread it across Carl, knowing that despite the warmth of the day he was likely to feel cold.

"Dad…" Carl began impatiently. "I know you need to. Just go."

Glad that Carl wasn't looking at him right now, Rick held his breath and thought for a moment. Like they had been for weeks now his priorities were at odds with one another, for although he needed to be there for his son, he was also needed at the quarry. This was an operation of mammoth scale, one that had Alexandria's safety riding on it. If this went wrong it could be catastrophic for them. This would only take a couple of hours, he'd probably be home for dinner…probably.

"I'll be ten minutes," he stated, having made his decision despite the dangers at the quarry. "I need to speak to Lana, then I'm coming back."

"Okay," Carl murmured, clearly disbelieving him.

"I'm coming back," he said firmly.

Leaving it at that, Rick straightened the blanket over his son and then left, thanking Denise as he departed. Carrie was gone, no longer waiting outside the curtain, and he didn't blame her for going home. There was nothing she could have done to help. As he fully expected he found Enid still waiting outside the Infirmary and so he forced himself to stop and talk to her, to tell her to go home. They both knew how self-conscious Carl felt about his injury, how he refused to let anyone but a select few see him without the bandage on, and that excluded Enid.

"Have you seen Lana around?" he asked her as she gave him back Carl's hat.

Enid nodded, her demeanour dejected. "She followed Carrie home…I think something happened."

Rick sighed in annoyance, not liking what he had heard. The last thing he needed now was Carrie and Lana at one another's throats, their pride making them argue and undermine each other. He tried to head straight home, knowing he might need to break up an argument before asking Lana to return to the quarry without him, but he found himself delayed a few moments. There were still people milling about, worriedly enquiring about Carl as he passed them by. Though he wanted to get home immediately he forced himself to pause, to reassure the people concerned about his son's welfare. The whole community cared for Carl, and at one stage or another had all been there to offer their help following his injury.

Finally getting away he walked straight home, pointedly not looking into Jessie's house as it passed it by. Jessie and Ron were a problem to handle later, and he knew that was something he needed to properly think about. Just like his father, the problems with Ron had started out small, his grievances against Carl forgivable given his poor home life, but today was something else. He'd attacked Carl without reason, he'd intentionally targeted his weakness to cause pain…Rick would not let that slide.


A/N Next chapter, the action starts!