Kaichō wa Maid-sama! 2005 © Fujiwara Hiro
Lala Magazine under Hakusensha Publishing
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Chapter 11: Walk Home Alone
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There was a small piece of paper stuck inside her locker. Rooftop at lunch break, it said. Misaki stared at it for a moment, wondering who in the world would stick it in there. (Not Takumi, that's for sure.) The words were written in bold letters using a thick black permanent marker. She didn't recognize the handwriting.
She frowned on it, momentarily forgetting that she should be changing her shoes now if she didn't want to be late for her first class that Monday morning. The message didn't strike to her as a threat or anything similar to what she usually received from some bitches. It wasn't a question nor a request, though. It was a statement, on which she had the absolute power to choose whether she was going or not.
Misaki puffed her cheeks and exhaled. She crushed the paper in her hand then threw it on the trash bin. There were a lot of things she needed to do first and that included putting her shoes on and attending the morning classes. Going to the rooftop was not on her top priorities right now; she would think about it later. Besides, she could see her husband walking towards her, smiling brightly as if he was being paid for it. And that pretty much made everything else in her mind vanish in an instance, bringing her back to their magical trip to Hokkaido.
For Misaki, their mini weekend getaway felt like surreal. It all seemed like a dream. Just a tiny dimension created in the back of her mind. But the way Takumi smiled at her now proved otherwise.
They have spent their last day in Kamikawa, a small town two hours away from Sapporo. They visited Mt. Showa Bear Park and tried the famous Usuzan Ropeway where they saw the majestic view of Lake Toya and the surrounding nature. They went to eat the best ramen in Japan. Then, they were back in Tokyo late that night.
Back to reality.
But everything that had happened was constantly on rewind inside her head. She could still taste the delicious parfaits in Shiroi Koibito Park that they've shared. She could still feel the cool summer air in Otaru. She could still hear their unintentional confessions echoing in her ears like the way it echoed in the bathroom and she could definitely feel the searing hot kiss they've shared after that. And the other little kisses after that.
The magic was still lingering on them, further convincing her that it wasn't a dream. She hoped it won't go away and stay forever.
Takumi stood close to her and lightly poked her tummy with his index finger. "Put your shoes on properly," he said with an amused twitch of his lips.
"I'm trying." She struggled as she balanced on one foot and tried slipping the other in the shoe without falling down. She grabbed his arm for support and his hand automatically closed on her elbow tightly. Once she'd finished, they let go of each other at same time like they were perfectly synchronized.
The couple walked in the hallways to their homeroom along with the other students noisily chatting around them. This was a daily routine, yet somehow, it felt different. It felt like they were new people. Not that the students were staring at them or anything; no one was even bothering to glance at them because they were now a normal occurrence in Seika. It just felt like it after they affirmed their feelings for each other. It sounded silly but it was like they were reborn into new persons, complete and fuller.
Misaki flinched the slightest as she remembered something about Hokkaido. She tugged at Takumi's sleeve with a scowl on her face.
He looked down on her as they walked. "Yeah?"
"I forgot my phone charger in the hotel," she said, pouting childishly.
"Eh?"
"I thought I've put it in my bag..."
"Is your phone drained now?" He asked.
"Ten percent remaining," she blew out her air. She wanted to look at the photos she took in her phone last night before going to sleep with him in his bedroom (that in a mutual, unspoken thought became their bedroom). But then she realized she had forgotten the charger in the hotel and her phone was barely hanging there.
"Power bank?" He kind of suggested.
"I don't have a power bank," she blew another sigh.
"Well, I can't lend you mine. We don't have the same connector," he mumbled. He put his hand on top of her head just for a jiffy—an affectionate gesture she'd grown used to— and stuffed his hand back in his pants' pocket. "Well, let's go buy your gadget needs later," he smiled crookedly. "Akihabara. It's a date."
Misaki laughed softly. "You're crazy. We've just arrived from a trip."
"Oh, no. That's not quite right. It's an extra date," he smirked. And before he turned the aisle to his seat in the classroom, he leaned down on her ear and whispered. "Because every day with you is a date."
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Curiosity got the better of her. Misaki managed to slip out of Takumi's sight to go to the rooftop, telling him she had to go to the comfort room.
That part was true as she went there before taking the stairs leading up to the rooftop in haste; she wanted this to be done as soon as possible. But still, she felt bad about lying. Really bad, like someone just poured a bottle of acid in her stomach.
Okay, so that wasn't entirely a lie. She just didn't tell him about some bits of information. And there was a difference between the two, right?
Misaki knew better than hiding something from his husband. Especially now that they both knew their marriage is not a joke anymore. But she just couldn't bring herself to say it to him, it felt like she was too deep into this bullying shit and something's gonna go wrong if she told him about it now. But wouldn't there be more trouble if she'd kept her silence?
She kept up her pace as she climbed the stairs, trying to bury the guilty pit forming in her chest. She didn't know how much she'd been keeping from him until she opened the door to the rooftop where they used to have lunch in secret.
Standing there were four girls from her class. She immediately recognized them as the ones that kept holding a meeting on her husband's desk every single chance they could.
Misaki suddenly felt cautious. Her mind geared up for possible scenarios that might happen there.
But they didn't look hostile. As a matter of fact, they even looked embarrassed. They didn't look her in the eyes and that made her feel less wary.
The two parties stood face-to-face for immeasurable amount of time.
"Okay," Misaki said slowly, "What do you want?"
"Um..." The girl with bleached hair bit her lip. She was Erika, Misaki remembered.
Of course she knew them by names, it's just that their names was enough to piss her off so she never said it out loud nor even think about it. She sighed, "What is it?"
"Ayuzawa-san," the girl looked at her sheepishly. "Well, before anything, thank you for coming up here."
"I didn't know it was you guys, so..." Misaki shrugged carelessly.
The other girl, Suiren, stepped up. She was the most no-nonsense girl in the group. Her usual stoic face was soft and on the verge of crumbling. "Misaki," she whispered, like she was afraid to speak out her name. "... I'm sorry."
Misaki blinked. She tilted her head, slightly confused. "What?" She wasn't sure she heard her right.
"We're sorry for everything we've done to you."
It took several minutes before she could process what they've just said. "Are you saying you're sorry for bullying me?" She almost laughed at the absurdity of it. If they were just going to be sorry for what they've done to her, then maybe they shouldn't have bullied her in the first place. Pathetic. She would've bitching on them about it, but the look on their faces prevented her; they were seriously sincere.
Erika nodded slowly. "Yes, but more than anything..." She nudged Suiren's elbow.
Suiren drew a deep breath and pointed to Misaki's still bandaged arm. "We're so sorry about that. We didn't mean it."
"Whoa, hold it right there," Misaki held up her palms and frowned. "You... That day, you were the one who threw the rock at the glass panel?" She couldn't believe her gut instinct was right.
"It wasn't on purpose, I swear!" Suiren shot out; her usually steady voice was shaking and frantically increasing with every word. "We were... we were just playing around and-and I wasn't looking when I threw that rock and I didn't know it could break the window so easily and I didn't know you were—"
"Okay! Okay! I got it, Suiren, I got it," Misaki cut her off from bursting into full-on panic. She stepped towards her and held both of her wrists, preventing it from pulling her own curly brown hair. "Calm down, please."
Suiren grimaced painfully. Her friends huddled close to her. They patted her back, smoothing her hair, trying to soothe her in every way they could. They looked so worried about her and Misaki thought that even if they were such bullies, they still have human hearts.
"Can you forgive me?" Suiren sniffed and stared at her with teary eyes.
Misaki let go of her wrists and resumed her position a step away from them. She briefly closed her eyes and drew in a supply of oxygen. This was more awkward than she'd imagine. She'd imagined this to be a heated verbal war the moment she stepped into the rooftop, which she thought was so much better than this encounter full of snuffles and tears.
"I really can't say I forgive you," Misaki said softly, "because I honestly didn't think too much about it. I knew it was an accident, I just didn't know it was you guys. I'm not really holding a grudge on that."
The girls hung their heads miserably.
"But don't worry, I won't tell the teachers. It's all done now. Alright?" She added quickly
"Thank you." They smiled albeit small and shy.
But with that, Misaki knew everything that had happened between her and these girls was over. She thrust out her hand, palm up like she was stopping traffic. "Let's call it quits here," she grinned.
The girls nodded and Suiren pulled back her manicured hand to slap her waiting high five, smiling softly that Misaki thought she was actually pretty.
Before her hand landed against hers, however, the door flew open and a certain human with blonde hair came out.
"Misaki, are you—" Takumi stopped short as he took in the girls' frozen forms. Misaki's back was on him but she was looking at him with wide eyes. Suiren's hand was spread out, aiming towards his wife. "Hey, what's going on here?" He said; his voice alert, hard and sharp.
Without any warning, he yanked Misaki away by her arm, forgetting that it was healing.
"Ow!" She yelped. But Takumi was too busy glaring at their classmates to notice that he was gripping her too tightly. She felt the mending skin broke again and bleed under the bandage.
"What are you doing?" He demanded pointedly at Suiren. Apparently, he mistook the situation.
"Takumi, it's not what you think," Misaki quickly jumped in, holding on to her husband and looking into his eyes seriously. "Everything's cool, okay?"
"Yeah, we just came here to apologize," Erika said.
"Apologize for what?" Takumi frowned. He looked back and forth between Misaki and the girls.
"For all the things we've done to her until now."
"What?" Takumi's frown was dangerously deepening as he looked directly at the girls. "What kind of things?" He asked slowly.
"Nothing!" Misaki interjected, her voice jumping a few octaves. "It's nothing, Takumi."
No one listened to the president as Suiren mumbled, "Uh, things like..."
With a kick of her heart, Misaki knew she had to keep them from spilling anything in Takumi's face. Standing behind him, she furiously waved her hands, silently motioning them to shut the hell up.
Unfortunately, they didn't see her zipping her mouth and drawing her fingers across her neck.
"Like dumping garbage in her locker," Erika said.
"Trashing her books," the other girl, Mei added.
"Pushing her in the comfort room."
"And spreading rumors."
Misaki could only bit her lip nervously as she watched Takumi's expression morphed into something dark and cold.
"And for the accident in the hallway last week. We're so sorry for what happened. We never meant to harm her."
"What...?" He breathed like he was going to breath fire next.
At that moment, Misaki understood why she didn't want Takumi to know about this. He looked angry. The usual cheerful tinges in his eyes became killer glints, his lips were set in a thin line and she could tell he was gritting his teeth behind. The aura emitting from him was so unfamiliar it made her skin crawl.
"Why would you do such things to her?" He asked alarmingly calm.
The girls didn't respond and embarrassedly looked away. It was obviously out of jealousy, Takumi could see that. But he just couldn't wrap it around his head that something like this happened in real life. Especially to his wife.
"Takumi, come on, it's already been apologized for," Misaki insisted in a small whisper, pulling at his sleeve like a kitten. She was answered by a cold, cold stare from him that sent shivers down her spine.
Suiren spoke: "I'm sorry for all the troubles we've caused you, Misaki, Usui-kun. It won't happen again. We won't bother you anymore."
The girls moved sullenly towards the door.
"Please stay away from her," Takumi said in that same cold tone. He looked at them like he was going to slice them with a butcher's knife. "I /mean/ it."
The girls nodded, "Okay." And they were gone, leaving a huge hollow between the couple.
The door closed. Wide gap of cold silence stretched over the warm breeze of summer. Misaki felt like a shooting target as Takumi aimed his glare at her.
"You didn't tell me any of these," he accused.
"I didn't tell you any of this because it didn't matter," she said quietly, afraid to make one wrong move.
"What do you mean it didn't matter? They almost killed you, Misaki." Her name sounded foreign coming from his hard voice. It scared her.
But she didn't stand down. She took a deep breath and steadily returned his blazing gaze. "It was an accident," she pointed out softly. "And that is the reason why they wanted to apologize to me. They didn't mean it."
"That's not the point," he snapped. "They've been bothering you for God knows how long but you never told me anything."
The thin string holding her in one piece broke inside her.
"Because you told me to ignore them!" She yelled, her eyes narrowing into slits.
"Not to the extent of getting yourself killed!" He yelled back at her.
And who could've believe that? Takumi and Misaki yelling at each other. Even to themselves, it felt surreal. But the frustration between them was just too much and yelling seemed like a good idea.
"I didn't want to make you worry, I can take care of myself!" Misaki lashed out.
The echoes of their raised voices in the open air were so different from the echoes of their confessions in the hotel's bathroom. Here, every word sounded hollow and ominous, and every time it bounced back to them, it felt like a punch.
Takumi shook his head slowly, as if clearing his mind. He sighed exasperatedly and ran his hand through his hair, messing it up more. He looked at her, his killer eyes considerably tuned down, and held her gaze with no intention of letting her look away. "Misaki, it's not about whether or not you can take care of yourself. I know you can. But I am your husband," he talked softly, almost tired. "We're sharing one life now. Knowing that you're keeping something from me is like half of my own body is doing something I'm not aware of."
Misaki bit her lip and suddenly found her shoes interesting. She felt like crying which was very annoying because she wasn't usually like this. She was never like this at all. But since he came into her world, she became nothing but an emotional wreck ball. And the way he said his words hit her pretty hard. He was right; he was her husband and it was their life now. They weren't separate islands anymore. She knew it was wrong to keep things to herself.
But still...
"And worrying is part of this relationship," he continued as if he'd just read her mind. "Don't think it's a bother because it's not. It just shows that people are not alone and that someone out there cares. And I care for you, Misaki. I really do, so, so much that you won't understand. Please let me worry about you. Okay?"
A twirl of colorful confetti danced around her as various emotions flared in her chest. Her heart swayed. Her knees shook. Her lip trembled. I'm sorry, her mind said but her tongue was all tied up like a useless piece of flesh. She could only nod like a scolded kid.
The bell rang. It took a few seconds before they could react.
"We better get back to class," Takumi mumbled. Then he turned his back, hands in his pockets, and walked back down the stairs without waiting for her.
There was a shadow on his face and Misaki knew he was still upset. She let out a frustrated whimper as she wiped the moistures in her eyes with the heel of her palm. The pain in her chest was hurting more than her gushing arm.
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Takumi wasn't talking to her.
That was crystal clear as they trudged their way home. Gone were the warm, protective hand around hers and the slow, exact pace of their walk as he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked a few steps ahead of her. Misaki thought she'd never felt so miserable in her life.
The sunny day had turned dark and gloomy, just like how she felt. Heavy rain clouds gathered above them and the wind was picking up. She didn't know if Takumi had forgotten that he'd promised to go to Akihabara that afternoon or his mood was just too ruined to go there.
Either way, Misaki didn't say anything. She followed him wretchedly. She stared at his back, feeling as if he was drifting farther and farther away from her that she wanted to grab his shirt and hug him.
"Hey, Misaki."
She jumped a little when he suddenly stopped and looked at her. Their eyes met and she blushed.
"Y-yeah?" She cleared her throat.
"I'll drop by the grocery today, we're out of food for dinner," he smiled weakly. "Why don't you go ahead?"
Misaki blinked. Didn't they always do shopping together? Wasn't that an unspoken law? What, was too pissed off with her that he didn't want her to come? Hey now, that stung.
"It's going to rain really hard," he said reasonably, looking up the sky. Then he reached out his hand and ruffled her hair affectionately. "Don't wanna get caught up in that, do we?"
He smiled her favorite crooked smile that melted the thorn in her chest instantly and somehow made her feel less choked, but still uncertain, still hesitating.
In the end, she just sighed and nodded dejectedly. "Okay," she replied in a hushed whisper.
"I won't take long," he promised. He pulled his fingers from her hair gently and turned to the opposite corner of the street.
Misaki watched him go until he was gone. With another sigh, she walked home alone.
•••
Dropping her school bag on the couch, Misaki changed into a comfy pair of shorts and a big shirt, and plopped down on her bed. She hadn't been sleeping on it for a few nights now and the smell was kind of unfamiliar. Like she didn't belong there anymore.
Misaki stared at the ceiling, replaying everything that had happened that day in her head. She wanted to slap herself as well as her husband, but she also wanted to apologize to him for keeping her big mouth shut the moment she needed them to be ranting about the issue.
She looked at the bedside table, at the music box he gave her and she wanted to cry.
Ayuzawa Misaki never cried for something as stupid as having your first fight with your husband. But considering that she wasn't even Ayuzawa Misaki anymore... She felt like crying all the more.
It was just one little thing but it sure made a big dent on her.
Misaki kept berating herself until her bedroom door flew open, effectively making her jump ten feet up in the ceiling.
"Takumi!" She yelped like someone pinched the soles of her feet.
Standing by the doorframe was her husband, slightly drenched from the rain she had just noticed pattering loudly on the roof and windows. He was breathing laboriously like he'd ran the Olympics. His hair was glistening and droplets of water fell on his shirt. He looked agitated with his wide eyes.
Misaki approached him worriedly, wondering if he even dropped by the grocery because he couldn't possibly go there and shop and go back home in just less than ten minutes.
"Takumi, what's wrong?"
"I need to go," he breathed. Then he hurriedly turned towards his own room.
"Go where?" She followed him confusedly, entering as Takumi stripped off his wet shirt. But she was too occupied to notice it and it wasn't like she hadn't seen him (half) naked. Heck, she slept on his bare chest every night!
Takumi slipped into a random T-shirt and faced her. "Mom called. Grandmother is in the hospital."
Misaki blinked twice. "What? Why, what happened? I'll go with you," she said at once. She was about to go back to her room to change when he caught her uninjured arm. He pulled her back to face him.
"No, Misaki. Please stay here," he said softly.
Her heart sank again. But before she that reaction reached her face, Takumi saved it.
"I'm not sure when I'll be back. Mom seems pretty upset and my dad's on business trip, I might stay with her for the night. And you," he sighed and touched her cheek with his cold palm, "I need you stay here, rest up and be ready for the exams tomorrow and in case I couldn't get back in time, I need you to be there to explain to the teachers. Can you do that for me, Kaichou?"
She bit her lower lip and stared at him with huge amber eyes, briefly hating him for making sense. She could certainly excuse him for the exams if ever. It wouldn't be a problem. But she also wanted to be there for him and his family, their family; she was family even before they got married, wasn't she?
Seeing her hesitation, Takumi cupped her cheeks with both of his hands and looked deep into her eyes. "Please?" He persuaded in his most irresistible voice that Misaki had to grit her teeth and lock her knees to avoid falling further.
She blew her lungs out in a long, depleting balloon sound and nodded defeatedly. "Okay. Fine."
"Thank you," he murmured. He took a jacket from his closet and Misaki walked him to the front door.
"Will you be alright?" She raised her voice over the torrential rain outside. They could barely see anything from the sheets of water angrily falling down the sky. The wind wasn't as strong but it was still cold.
"Yes, don't worry, I'll be fine. I'll get a taxi," he replied. "Lock the door, okay? I'll call you, I promise." He kissed her forehead and pecked her lips then he vanished through the gray rain with a red umbrella.
Misaki stood there until she heard the faint clanking noise of metal gates in the midst of loud raining. She closed the door and leaned on it, touching her lips absently.
Her husband didn't seem angry anymore. But there was still a small hint of sulking radiating from him. Well, at least he kissed her before he went off. That made her feel a little relieved.
And then she realized her phone was dead.
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Misaki stopped pacing in the middle of her husband's bedroom and dropped the textbook she was reading on the bed. She glanced at the digital clock hanging on the wall, 9:16PM, it said. She took her phone, pushing the button aggressively and then nearly threw it across room when she remembered the battery was drained.
It was hopeless trying to review (not that she needed to) while thinking about Takumi, his mom and grandmother. She was dying to know what was going on in the hospital, or if her husband even arrived there safely. She couldn't sleep, especially not in this situation. Besides, the empty house was so eerily quiet it scared her.
Misaki sat on the bed, kicking the book over the edge, and thought about how fucked up her day was. Her husband got mad, left her alone twice and now went solo on a mission they should've been doing together.
But didn't she do that to him, too?
Ugh, Misaki gripped her shirt in her tightly closed fist and let her back fell on the bed. She laid wide awake. In her eyes, random scenes from her recent life danced on the plain, white ceiling.
Takumi was there. In the house. In the school. In the park. Everywhere.
She wondered if he could see her like this, too.
The clock blinked in seconds, ticking away the time and instead of luring her to sleep, it seemed to hype her up more. Minutes to ten in the dead of the night, Misaki made her decision. She was going to the hospital. Right now.
If Takumi was lurking everywhere in her, then fuck it, she would be his everywhere, too.
•••
Though the heavy rain calmed down to drizzles, it lasted for hours, leaving cold mist low on the grounds.
Misaki traded her pajamas into jeans and sweatshirt. Because she didn't want any more reason to make Takumi scold her, she called a taxi and waited for it to pull at their gates.
She arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later. She didn't know why her heart was pounding so hard when the nurse pointed her to a hallway. She nearly tripped as she rounded the corner and saw her husband leaning on the wall, his phone on his ear. Even from a few steps away, she could see his face scrunched into concentration as he listened to the small device.
She stared him for a second or two, taking in his simple gloriousness; his messy hair, his burning green eyes, the thin line that was his lips, his crumpled shirt, and his ragged jeans. Her throat closed in as the guilt she felt came crushing down on her again. She didn't want to look at him from this distance ever again. She wanted to stand close to him and hold his hand and she just have to apologize to him right this moment or she couldn't live for another minute.
Her footsteps thumped on the white, marble floor, taking her to Takumi with such urgency even herself was surprise.
Before Takumi could recognize her, she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face on his chest.
"Wha-Misaki?!" Takumi exclaimed. "How did you... Wh-what are you doing here?" He held her shoulders and tried to pry her off him but she wouldn't budge.
Misaki just shook her head against his chest. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I'm so sorry."
"What? Are you alright?" He asked worriedly.
She shook her head again. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Please don't be mad at me."
Takumi paused and sighed deeply. He instantly knew what she was talking about. He slipped his phone in his jeans' back pocket and circled his arms around her waist. "I'm not mad," he said softly, as if he was talking to a baby. "I was just upset that you never told me anything about it..."
"I'm sorry."
"Sshh... I know, I know." He caressed her hair gently and kissed the top of her head. "You are forgiven."
Misaki pulled away a little and looked at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Really?" She sniffed childishly.
"Really," he smiled crookedly and pinched her cheeks.
And for the first time that day, Misaki felt the heavy load on her shoulders lifting off and flying away. She smiled weakly in absolute relief and sagged into his arms, putting her forehead back on his chest.
"I'm sorry, too, for making you feel like I was angry at you."
"No, it's not your fault," she said.
He pulled her away a little to look at her face. He didn't say anything, just a look that she could easily read as, let's be open and honest with each other from now on, okay?
"Okay..." she breathed almost inaudibly.
Takumi squeezed her and kissed her forehead. "I was trying to call you but I can't reach your phone," he said, effectively changing the subject.
"It's dead. No charger, remember?"
"Oh. Right."
"How's Grandma? What's happened to her? Where's your mom?" Misaki heaved herself off from him and held his hand.
"Whoa, calm down," he chuckled. "Everything's fine. Grandma collapsed from dizziness. She was doing some gardening stuff in her house, spent a long time bended over her flowers and well, you know, she's old; those sort of things tend to happen. But mom panicked so she brought her here. Grandma's alright now. She doesn't even need to be confined but my mother insisted."
"Oh, that's great," she exhaled. Double relief.
"Mom just went to get some coffee. I'm supposed to wait until she gets back and I'll head home."
"Well then, let's wait for her and go home together."
Takumi smiled, "Of course."
And hopefully from now on, no one's ever going back home alone.
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06 September 2014
おわり
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SORA'S RAMBLING CORNER:
FINALLY~
This chapter was finished a long time ago in my mind, but I was always too exhausted to put it into words after days of filling up my head with kanji (God, the readings are so hard to remember!), and verb conjugations (this will be the death of me, I swear).
Anyway, I have to point out one thing: Sorry guys, I think I messed up the (weather) seasons. In the earlier chapters, I wrote it was late summer but here, it goes back to early summer. LOL! I think I meant to write spring back then since it was the beginning of the school year. But please don't mind that mistake, and any mistake you saw in this chapter. I'll follow from here on.
Thank you so much for all the reads and reviews! My kokoro doki till now :)
Ja, itte kuru ne~
