45. You are not allowed to burn down the Minister's home. On the other hand, if being Penguin Enemy Number One doesn't work out Red can always be a damn good lawyer. I still can't figure out how you managed to prove them innocent and pin it all on the Minister. Especially considering the video evidence of them doing it.

M had never seen such a one sided Case before in her Life.

No matter what the Prime Minister said or how much evidence he threw onto the field- including video evidence-

Red always seemed to have a legal and logically way or countering the man.

It was sad really, The Prime Minister was nothing more then a mild annoyance to the Russian man acting as a Lawyer for her Agents.

Red had to admit he was quite amused watching the prune shade man sputter and spat in rage as he was dragged away by the Court Officers. Really Red didn't see why the man was so upset, he was the one who Insisted on bringing the matter to Court. Smiling politely to the Judge, Red stood and ushered his Clients out the door.


46. Red is forbidden to be his own lawyer. We would never get him convicted.

"Never? "

"Never. "

"What about- "

"No."

M couldn't help but roll her eyes as the Russian sulked under a cloud of depression while Rockgut rubbed smooth circles onto the smaller's back.


47. Red is to stop telling people to relax during high speed chases. Not everyone is as used to be shot at as you are.

"Would you Nimrods relax already?! You're panic is distracting. "

"Excuse me, we're being bloody Shot at! "

"And?"

The Russian asked in mild annoyance as he skidded around a curve on two wheels.

"You're going well above the speed limit! Slow down before you kill us all! "

"I'm not going to kill us! I know exactly what I'm doing. Now get the Hell off the floor and back into your seats before I shoot you myself! "


48. The Commander is not your Mother and you are to stop referring to him as such.

Nigel hated lectures. As a child He was forced to sit through multiple from Agent Dylan though none of his had ever gone on as long as the Commanders:

Nine hours. Nine Bloody Hours of sitting silently in the same spot without being able to move an inch.

Where was Red and his Chaos when Nigel needed it?

"Nigel, are you paying attention? "

The Commanders voice cut through his thoughts like a hot knife through butter. Without really thinking the Spy answered.

"Yes Mother. "


49. You are to stop writing Red asking him to kill people who insulted you.

a). It doesn't matter if he doesn't mind, stop writing before he takes it seriously

b). I thought I already talked to you about encouraging his antics

M couldn't help but stare at the letter when had amused the Russian lounging before her only moments before.

God Above...

What the Hell where her Agents thinking? Sure it was one thing to hate someone but it was another to Actually write Enemy Number One, asking him to kill those people for them.

The fact Red didn't seem to mind at all and actually seemed to be considering it only made her worry more.


50. Q is to stop walking around HeadQuarters in a bathrobe and slippers. Do that at your own home not HQ.

It had stared out as a dare between the Quartermaster in his insane Russian friend. At first Q had been embarrassed walking around in nothing but a fluffy house robe and slipper before his colleagues.

Like he thought they would, many ended up laughing at him and he had fled to the safety of his Lab. He had called the other to tell him the dare was off but somehow the rouge had talked him into doing it again, this time ignoring the whispers and laughter. It wasn't even, Q had always been self aware, though the more time he spent dressed like that the less he liked the idea of returning to his usual stuffy uniform.

Before long it became a natural sighting to spot Q wondering the base in his rob and slippers and while The Commander usually would have ignored it, Q's state of dress was distracting some of the other Agents; who would rather stare at the man then do their work.


51. The Commander is not your Grandmother and you are to stop referring to him as such.

"Red, what are you doing in my house?"

The rouge hair Russian glanced up, peeking at him from underneath the red hood of his cloak.

"Mother asked me to bring you pastries, Grandma."

He could feel his eye twitch as the Russian villain skipped towards his dinning room table.

"You don't have a mother Sova. Nor am I your Grandma."

The rouge only answer was taunting smile as he plucked an apple off the table's fruit tray.

"What are you doing here Sova?"

That smile only grew as the younger man tossed the apple into the air right as the Kitchen door was knocked off its hinges.

BANG!

The Commander could only stare as the body of escaped terrorist, Jahir Beluga, fell to the floor with a single bullet hole between his eyes. Without missing a beat the Russian dropped the gun back into his picnic basket before catching the apple with his now free hand.

"I'm just here to catch my wolf."

Humming to himself, the rouge took of a bit of his apple, ignoring the Commander blanch stare with well practiced ease.


52. Red is never to bring his Acorn Muffins to Headquarters again. They were delicious, yes, bit I'd rather bot deal with another riot for the last one.

"You did this on purpose didn't you?"

A golden eye flickered to the dark haired man behind him as a smirk slipped onto his lips.

"I don't have an idea what you're talking about, Rockgut. All I did was leave a basket of pastries out."

It would have been more believable if the Russian would at least stop smirking but Red fount it highly amusing how quick the Agents turned on each other for just a muffin.

"And the other basket you brought with you?"

"I figure You, Nigel and I could use something to snack on while we enjoyed the show."