Not the end of the story, just the name of the chapter. No worries.
Also, sorry for the wait, but this is officially my longest chapter so far, so hopefully that makes up for it.
The loud buzz of his phone vibrating against his desk startled Kendall. He was so engrossed in the paper he was writing he had forgotten about the rest of the world. Shifting around on his bed, he reached for his phone seeing the text was from "Creepster" and he smiled.
The feeling he got made him pause. Was this okay? It had only been a few days since he ended things with Jo, and he wasn't sure if it was okay for him to move on this fast. Letting the guilt crept over him slowly, he opened the message to see what it said.
His excited mood's sudden shift to uneasiness made Kendall a little lightheaded. He looked down at his phone, [Wanna get some dinner?]
He didn't know how to respond… How could he go with Alex to dinner if he was still feeling guilty about Jo. Well, not even Jo. He knew that that was the right thing to do, but he felt guilty about the prospect of moving on so fast…
At the same time, what was he feeling guilty from moving on for? He shouldn't feel guilty about being able to get past being treated like crap. He should be able to do that.
Then again, he would feel horrible it Jo was able to just move on right away. Does the way she treated him really justify him doing that to her?
Kendall's inner turmoil continued like this for a while until he was just mindlessly staring down at his phone. He let out a deep sigh and responded to the text.
Kendall was a black hole sucking in all of his attention. Logan was trying to study for some mid-term, he couldn't even remember which one because of how intoxicating Kendall was while he was focused on his paper.
Soon Logan realized he was staring at his roommate. He was glad that Kendall hadn't realized, he didn't want things to get any weirder. Since he and Carlos broke up the other night, Kendall had been a little awkward, probably because neither he nor Carlos would tell Kendall why they had decided to take a break.
Logan thought that it made his roommate feel like he needed to pick sides, and he knew that meant that things between them would be strained, but they hadn't been bad. It was probably because Carlos was being weird to Kendall, not that Logan could blame him… But, Carlos' distancing himself from Kendall had pushed Kendall from his corner and into more neutral territory.
The thought about sharing Kendall with Carlos gave Logan a weird feeling. He didn't like the idea, but wasn't sure why. Was it just that he didn't want to share Kendall or that he didn't want anyone else to be more important than himself in Carlos' life?
He tried to pull his mind back to his notes, to refocus. He was in college to get a degree, not a husband, so he needed to focus more on his studies, but reading about different injuries and how the parts of the body heal or develop just brought Carlos back into the forefront of his mind.
Each time he'd get to an injury that Carlos has had he'd picture that cute face, and remember the boy showing him the scars from it, or rushing him to the hospital because it happened while they were together. It was the thing that terrified Logan about his boyfriend ex-boyfriend the most, but also something that he loved. Carlos was so adventurous and spirited, he never stopped, he never hesitated. He contrasted Logan's methodological approach so well and they complimented each other so well. Logan got a warm feeling in his chest just thinking about it.
Then he looked up and saw Kendall looking down at his phone. He felt a sharp pain replace the warmth that had just blossomed. He had pushed Carlos away. He had, because he has some sort of feelings for Kendall. The problem was he would never really actually figure those out without actually talking to Kendall about them…
He knew he needed to tell Kendall, but that was the most terrifying thing he could think of. What if he got shot down? He would probably get shot down. 'It's too late now. I gave up the security of a love that I knew I could have because of this. I have to do this. I have to go for it and tell him. I have too. I just need a few moments of courage and I can do it. Just enough to say it. Then I can return to my nerd shell and leave the bravery to the real heroes.' Logan thought to himself.
He mustered up all of his courage, took a deep breath, placed his notes down on his desk, and turned to look at Kendall…'s empty bed.
"Seeya Logster!" Was the only glimpse of Kendall he got as the door closed.
Logan's courage faltered and he was instantly unsure if he would be able to build up that much determination again. Despite that his nervousness was alleviated and he let out a sigh of relief.
Through bloodshot eyes she saw him walking up the sidewalk outside her window. He flipped his golden hair. She longed to run her fingers through that hair one more time.
The tears started to come back as Jo began to think about how she would never get to brush the hair out of his face and gaze into his soul-filled eyes.
Her eyes stung. She had been crying so much that her throat was sore, and she was having trouble breathing. She felt like she was drowning. She thought she was drowning in her emotions.
"please… please k-Kendall… don't let me drown…" she murmured, running her hand down the windowpane. But he couldn't hear her. He didn't even know she was watching. He just kept walking, and soon he was out of sight. He had once been her knight in shining armor, but now he was just Kendall Knight, and he wasn't going to come save her from drowning.
At that, Jo leaned off her bed and opened the minifridge, pulling out the vodka. 'If I'm gonna drown, I might as well do it in something that takes the pain away…' she thought taking a swig from the bottle.
She should be angry. She should at least be frustrated. Logan hadn't talked to her in days. But Camille was just too excited to have him ask her to hang out. Logan needed someone to talk to. He needed someone and she was the one he thought of. She was his first choice. The fact that Logan needed her was overwhelming and replaced the overwhelming feelings of dejection she had felt mere moments ago, leaving those to just be whelming.
She was out the door faster than she could respond to the text that she was on her way. Camille was especially boosted because Logan had recently changed his status on facebook, no longer listed as "in a relationship". Was that what he wanted to talk about? It must be. The fantasies of him telling her he had finally realized that he was attracted to women too, and was in love with her, not Carlos.
The fantasies moved her feet faster. It felt like she was being lifted off the ground, floating to him. She was floating, and it was marvelous.
She was about halfway there when she got a text from Logan; [Thanks, I could really use a friend right now. 3]. Wait…friend? Suddenly she wasn't floating anymore. She was dropped into a dark abyss, she could almost hear the splash as she mentally sank down beneath the current of the fantasies that carried her moments ago.
She struggled to get her head back above the surface, but her heart was still submerged in doubt. She convinced herself that there was still a possibility. All she needs to do is talk to him. That's it. She's done waiting. She's going to tell him how she feels and he's going to either love her or she's going to move on. What's the worst that could happen?
She began to walk towards his dorm with a new sense of determination. "Logan Mitchell, you better not let me drown," she said to herself.
[Sure, I would love a nice, friendly dinner! I'll come to you and then we can head to the d-hall.]
Alex stared at her phone for more than a few moments before she figured out how to process this.
"Friendly"? That was intentionally placed. But why? She could only think of two possible reasons. One, she had pushed too hard and actually creeped him out, or two, he was just not ready for a relationship and making her aware of this.
She knew it was probably the latter. Why would he agree to go to dinner with her if he was creeped out? But still the thought was running rampant in her mind. Had she pushed too hard already?
No. No no no. She refused to be that crazy girl. She was not going to worry about a relationship before it even happened. She was just going to be his friend. Just friends. She could do that. Friends with Kendall. Friends with those green eyes. Friends with that great sense of humor, that cute hair-flip, that strong personality, that beautiful heart.
Okay, this might be hard. She couldn't picture him any other way than holding her heart. She couldn't get loving him out of her mind. But she knew she had to try, so when he knocked on her door, she put on a smile and gave him a, "Hey Bromigo!" and they left for the dining hall.
Everywhere. That crooked smile kept creeping into every single thing he saw. Who would think that that would be what haunted him about Logan, but Carlos could not stop seeing it everywhere.
'Okay, this is ridiculous! I either need to find a way to move on and get him out of my head, or figure out a way to help him figure out whatever it is he needs to figure out.' Carlos thought to himself when a triangle on a sign turned into Logan's dimpled grin.
How does he do that? He can't exactly trust his own plans. We saw how that turned out last time. But how can he ask Kendall for advice on this? He don't even want to talk to his best friend right now. Knowing it's not Kendall's fault, doesn't really make it easier. Every time Carlos thinks about the blonde it makes him frustrated and hurt. What was it that Kendall could give Logan that Carlos couldn't?
He decided he was being silly to hold a grudge against Kendall for this, and he knew he needed help, so he texted him asking him for help on a plan to help Logan move forward in his decision.
Kendall must have taken that as a plan to win Logan back. But either way it worked, [turn it around on him. Whatever happened, how he made you feel, make him feel it. If you want him back, after he did it to you, he should want you back when you do it to him.].
The advice seemed perfect to Carlos. He knew exactly what he needed to do. He just had to find someone who would help him show Logan what it's like to see someone you love with someone else…
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