Hello Sweet Doves! Thank you all for your reviews! They helped me get through my own heartache about what I was writing and pushed forward to this chapter. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Enjoy Lovelies!

Songs: I Can Still Feel You by Collin Raye, Never Let Me Go by Florence and The Machine.


Days ticked by slowly. Emma had been as far west as Michigan and as far south as Pennsylvania in the past week, following lead after lead and coming up empty. Regina slipped out of her heart a little more everyday, and with her essence, Emma's sanity also fell away from her tortured mind. Determination became obsession, and even Henry questioned whether or not Emma actually felt Regina's lifeline or if she made it up in order to protect herself.

He believed a little less everyday in the hope that his adoptive mother still lived, and Belle and Felicia helped the boy grieve and adjust to life without Regina as he watched his birth mother deteriorate before his eyes. Emma hadn't slept in three days, and probably hadn't eaten in at least that long. Belle lost track after a while of what Emma had and hadn't done. She drank coffee, studied her maps and files, and listened to Regina's message at least a dozen times a day that she saw. Her heart broke a little more everyday, knowing she felt exactly the same way when Ruby slipped away from her.

Except Ruby had been alive and well and physically in front of her. Emma's torment came from the unknown. There wasn't a body, no proof of life lost, and that single fact pushed Emma forward when she lost grasp of Regina's essence moving within her. She believed each time it slipped away that it only returned as long as she still believed in Regina's still beating heart.

"Emma?" Belle called from the porch and crossed her arms over her chest against the chill of the cool night air.

The Savior had returned an hour ago from another failed lead. Luckily, Henry had already fallen asleep hours ago and was spared his mother's after-midnight tirade of marking a giant black 'X' on the location and trolling through her files for another location to search. She thought Emma had took off again when she went outside, but after 10 minutes of not hearing the car start, Belle came to check on her.

Emma stood on the curb at the end of the driveway, head bowed, phone pressed to her ear. Belle wondered how violently Emma might have reacted if she deleted the message. She shook the thought away and descended the five steps off the porch. Emma needed to sleep before she completely lost her mind.

"I feel you," Emma whispered, and Belle's jaw clenched. How could she possibly have saved Emma from her own mind, from what her heart and soul told her was reality? She believed until she no longer felt Regina move inside of her, and there wasn't a damn thing anyone could have done to change that.

"Emma," Belled tried again as Emma lowered the phone and saved the message. "You need to sleep."

"I can't," Emma whispered and tucked her phone safely into her pocket. She wavered and barely caught her balance as she turned around to face the librarian.

"How much longer do you think you can continue looking for her in your condition? You can barely stand upright," Belle chided her lovingly and silently pleaded with her eyes for Emma to listen to her.

"No, I mean, I can't sleep, Belle. I want to sleep. So very badly. I know everyone thinks I'm going nuts, but I really just need to sleep a few hours. It's making me crazy because I can't focus." Emma finally admitted, and green eyes pleaded with blue in the fluorescent street light for help.

"Then let's put you to bed," Belle said and held out a hand to her. Emma took it but gave no indication she meant to move from her spot.

"I can't sleep, Belle. I keep having this nightmare. Regina…" she choked on a sob and allowed Belle to pull her into an embrace.

The smaller woman's cheek rested on her shoulder as she stared up at her tortured friend. Her hands held Emma's back tightly, but Emma's hung limply at her sides. It was a start, Belle thought. At least she allowed the small comfort. The last time Belle tried to hug her she'd been shoved away roughly a moment before Emma stalked out the door and left for her latest mission.

"She's strapped to a table and hooked up to this machine. They're torturing her. I know it. I don't think it's a nightmare. I think I'm seeing what Regina is seeing and feeling what she's feeling. It's like they're sucking the life out of her, and every time they do, I feel her less and less inside of me. They're killing her. They're taking her from me. They're taking us." Emma babbled into Belle's hair. Her eyes were open and distant and haunted.

"Would it help it I held you? I could stay awake and wake you up if it looks like you are having the nightmare," Belle suggested gently. If she were honest, she needed the comfort of holding someone as much as Emma needed the comfort of being held. She ached for Ruby and her heart which was encased in Ruby's chest. She trusted the wolf implicitly, but she still felt the absence of the organ.

Emma nodded after a few silent moments, and Belle led her to the house with a firm arm around her waist. Belle lowered her to the couch, knowing she'd not even looked at her bed since the first night they stayed in Salem. Emma had gone there at first when they settled down for sleep but emerged about 20 minutes later, unable to tolerate being surrounded by Regina's scent and her big empty bed.

Emma and Regina hadn't bothered setting up a guest room, figuring their family would never have been able to visit them because of the barrier. So, the two extra bedrooms had been turned into other things. One was a work out room for Emma and the other served as Regina's new study, which meant she and Belle had been crashing on the sofas in the living room.

She snagged the comforter she'd been using and propped herself on pillows on the arm of the bigger sofa. Emma handed her the t.v. remote from the coffee table and then hesitated, unsure how Belle wanted to work this. Belle wasn't particularly physically affectionate to begin with, barring Ruby and Henry, so Emma floundered now that the moment had arrived to actually cuddle up to the reserved woman.

"Emma, come here," Belle ordered and pointed to the small space between her and the back of the couch and then patted her chest. Emma understood what she meant.

Awkwardly, she wedged her body between the tiny librarian and the plushy black leather. She laid on her arm, keeping it tucked beneath her for about five seconds until her shoulder immediately ached. She pushed herself up, and Belle huffed in frustration.

"Damn it, Emma, just hold me," she ordered sharply and then softened when Emma's eyes fell. "It's okay, Emma." She touched her shoulder and tugged it gently towards her.

The blonde slid her arm beneath Belle's back and then wiggled until her body felt comfortable before lowering her cheek to a thin shoulder. Belle pulled her arm free and wrapped it around Emma's back, forcing her head to her chest. Emma's breath caught as renewed affection for the fierce former princess swelled in her chest. She'd never really been comforted by anyone except Regina and her mother that one time after her and Regina's pretend fight at the diner when they had attempted to trick Cora.

Emma's other hand rested awkwardly on her thigh, and after a few silent moments of adjusting to their intimate position, she tossed it carefully around Belle's waist. Her hand moved to her ribs, splayed flat across her side, dropped to her hip and then clenched into a fist that rested against her side. Belle set the remote on the coffee table and touched Emma's forearm with light fingers.

"Emma, you can hold me. It's okay," she assured her clearly distressed friend. She rubbed her arm, and Emma's hand slowly relaxed, pressing into her side.

"Sorry, I'm not used to cuddling with anyone but Regina," she said insecurely, and Belle brushed a hand over her hair.

"Neither am I. I mean, with Ruby, not Regina, but I trust you and I think I need this, too." She explained and then fell silent. They breathed quietly into the dark, nothing else needed to be said.

"I'm not sure I'd ever cuddle with Regina, not even under these circumstances," Belle admitted suddenly. Emma winced.

"It still bothers you, doesn't it?" Emma said needlessly. Of course it bothered Belle. She'd been held captive and tortured by her lover's best friend for three decades.

"She's not that person anymore. I know that, but yes, it bothers me. I still wake up with nightmares sometimes. I understand the deprivation of resources, keeping me weak and disoriented, but I never understood why she felt the need to… you know," Belle huffed and tensed in her arms. Emma pressed her hand into her side in a show of support. Belle remained ignorant of Regina's sexual abuse at Rumpelstiltskin's hands.

"Sometimes, if I wake up in a strange place or it's still dark outside or even if I have kicked the blanket off in my sleep and feel cold, I have an anxiety attack because I feel like I'm still in that place. It's not nearly as frequent as when I first regained my memories, but it does still happen. I'm working through it with Dr. Hopper and Ruby." Belle explained to her. She struggled to understand her sudden need to divulge all of this to Emma, but once it had been said, she was glad that she'd told her. She felt a little lighter. She loved Emma, trusted her, and believed that Emma would listen even though Regina was her true love.

"It didn't have anything to do with you, Belle. I know that doesn't justify it or make it any better, but what The Evil Queen did, she did to hurt Rumpelstiltskin, not you." Emma said, hoping her words helped ease her friend's struggle.

"I figured as much. What he did to her was much worst than what she did to me, wasn't it?" She asked, her tone telling Emma that she understood exactly what she was asking Emma to do. She sought understanding and achieved that only with the whole truth. It was a simple yes or no question, nothing that demanded details or betrayed Regina's trust. She already knew Rumpel's actions led to her captivity and subsequent torture, but she needed outside confirmation.

"Belle, that doesn't make her actions okay, nor does it lessen what you went through. What you're going through. I understand that, and so does she. She's only spoken about what happened between you and her and her and Rumpelstiltskin once. She refuses when I ask her about it. Everything else is an open book, but not those two things. She doesn't want to accept it and move on. She wants to torture herself with it because she knows it still bothers you. I've given up on trying to get her to move past it. She won't until you completely forgive her, and if you never do, we both understand why."

Both women fell silent and chewed on what Emma just confided. She readjusted her head on Belle's chest and sighed.

"Belle?" The librarian hummed as she pulled from her reverie. "Why is Ruby so mad at me?" Emma asked, unsure if she wanted to know the answer. She knew that she intentionally fought her sleep, but the conversation and tight embrace soothed her almost as much as a nap would have.

"It's an irrational anger, Emma. Don't worry about it. She blames you for Regina's disappearance. If she hadn't have left Storybrooke that day to be with you, she probably would never have been alone and in a position to be ambushed. Also, I think there are some lingering emotions about you pushing her out of the way instead of letting her take the bullet for Regina herself." Belle added, partially suspecting Emma received her lover's irrational anger for the abuse she suffered at Cora's hands and heart.

"If she had been shot, she wouldn't have been at that party and probably wouldn't have been kidnapped. Cora never would have taken her heart, and Hook never would have… Fuck." Emma clenched Belle's side almost painfully as the realization washed over her. No, the anger wasn't rational, but her actions set in motion the series of events that led to Ruby's rape… one similar to what Regina had suffered at the hands of Rumpelstiltskin when he'd taken her heart and forced her to watch him brutalize her in her own mirror.

The strong women she'd come to accept as her family were so profoundly and irreversibly screwed up.

"She has a right to be angry," Emma said and sniffed, unable to catch the tear before it rolled onto Belle's chest. Belle swallowed audibly.

"I can handle her being angry for those reasons as long as she keeps letting you in. She needs your love to help her to put herself back together, and if she can only do that while being angry at me, then so be it. She's family, and I won't abandon her no matter how pissed she gets at me." Emma quietly vowed, confident in the fierce honesty behind her words.

"Rumpel did that to her, didn't he? What happened between Hook and Ruby? Except it was probably worst for Regina because Rumpel knew exactly what he was doing. Hook didn't know." Belle said before she thought better of it and then clamped her mouth shut. She shouldn't have put Emma in the position to divulge anymore information about Regina's past.

"Belle," Emma whispered, her tone a cross between compassion and frustration. She wanted to help Belle understand, but answering her questions outright violated Regina's confidence. They'd probably already crossed that line in regards to both of their partners by saying what they'd already said.

"Don't say anything, Emma," Belle quickly soothed her friend. "It's okay. I don't need to know any more than I already do." She pressed a quick kiss to Emma's forehead and then settled into the pillows and reached for the t.v. remote. Emma smiled at the shy librarian's constant consideration of others. She was truly the most forgiving and compassionate person on the planet.

Emma grinned when Blanche's dulcet Southern Belle tone and Dorothy's irritated rumble filtered into the quiet living room. Regina had them all addicted to watching the sitcom during sleepless nights. Between the warmth of being tucked into the sofa, the comfort of the body beside her, and the familiar sounds of the laughter from a live studio audience, Emma finally drifted into a fitful slumber.

Regina woke to a cool damp cloth being pressed to her forehead. The gesture was soft, almost intimate, and her eyes lulled open, fully expecting Emma or Ruby to be in front of her eyes. A scruffy beard and harsh male features slid into her blurry vision. She lashed out, pulling her head from the towel with the little strength she had left. How dare that bastard touch her like this? Physical torture she knew how to handle, but intimate gestures of captors led to more sinister things.

"You know, this will end more quickly if you stop fighting it. Why are you clinging so tightly to your magic?" The male voice asked, and she tried to identify it. Neal.

"Are we in Storybrooke?" She asked and coughed from the dryness in her throat.

"No," he clipped and moved away from her. She heard the whine of the machine and closed her eyes against the pain. Gathering spit, she swallowed twice before speaking again.

"Then I have no magic. It's tied to Storybrooke," she rasped and then chuckled as she realized how futile their efforts were. Morons.

"Oh Regina," he laughed and leaned over her, bracing himself on his hands on either side of her head. "It's there. That machine, it's designed to find magic. So, if you don't have magic outside of Storybrooke, what is it telling us you have? Hm?"

She held her tongue and braced herself. She suspected what they read was in fact her true love for Emma Swan and wanted to keep that fact to herself as long as possible.

"Emma is coming for me," she spat and then grinned. "You have no idea who you're dealing with." She raised slightly off the cold steel table and jerked against her restraints, gnashing her teeth at his face. Her stumbled backwards at the sudden aggression, and she laughed coldly as her head thumped against the table.

"I was wondering how long it'd take you to mention Emma," he said matter-of-factly and shuffled around the room. "I was waiting before I showed you this."

He held a picture above her eyes. Her heart clenched painfully when she focused her eyes enough to study it. Emma sat on the ground in front of Felicia's house. Her head hung between her knees and her mouth was open in what appeared to be a scream. Emma. Her wrist pressed achingly against the shackle as her hand rose involuntarily with her desire to touch the picture of her anguished lover. A swell of love beat painfully against her chest, and the machine beeped.

Neal and the picture disappeared. She just told him what magic it was he attempted to extract from her soul. Her jaws clenched as she gathered all of her love and clung tightly. They'd not take Emma from her, not like this. She jerked in surprise when something clicked and the whine of the machine disappeared.

"I thought that's what it was." He sounded exhausted, and Regina raised her head. What the hell just happened?

"Neal, let me go. Let me go home to her," Regina pleaded, hoping now that he knew the magic she possessed wasn't evil that she'd be granted an ounce of compassion.

"Home. Magic destroyed my home. My father. My life." He pulled a chair to her head and sat beside her. His arms crossed on the table at her ear, and she jerked from what her survival instinct perceived as a threat. He smiled maniacally at her.

"The Evil Queen. How the mighty have fallen. The Dark One begged, too. It was particularly satisfying to drain him of his magic. Seems he's nothing but a coward without it. A weak, powerless, pathetic excuse for a man. Like you. Nothing without your magic." He stood abruptly and flipped the switch on the machine.

She heard the clicks and whirls as he adjusted the knobs, and her chin quivered as she grappled with her emotions, trying to shut them down. When he played with the knobs, her love for Emma became harder and harder to cling to. He meant to take all of it, and she adjusted her shoulders, determined to hold on until Emma saved her. Emma came for her. She just had to give her enough time to find her.

"How long have I been here?" She asked suddenly. He checked the clips and straps qiuetly, and she feared he denied her an answer. How long had Emma been alone? Had she figured out Mendell's people watched her and Henry yet?

"Today makes a week exactly you've been in this exact location. You've been with us ten days, which is about nine days longer than every other magical being we've drained. it's almost impressive," he complimented honestly and slammed the side of his fist into the red button.

That's why she felt so weak. She hadn't eaten in nearly two weeks and had been given water in distant intervals, enough to keep her alive until her magic was extracted. Luckily, her head wound had been at least packed and gauze wrapped around her head to hold it in place. Otherwise, she might have bled to death.

The cuff around her wrist burned and slurped at her heart and soul, and she forced it away from her love. Anger and hatred flared, wrapping a cocoon of harsh protection around the only thing in her soul worthy of protecting, her love. Fire spread beneath her skin, like a thousand thorns tearing her flesh from the inside out. She struggled, but as always when they cranked the strength on the machine, a small piece of her love slipped away before she adjusted to the amount of anger she needed in order to save it. She felt her heart hardening again and prayed the Emma saved it once more with her gentle kisses and childish tantrums at waking up in the morning and bright green eyes so full of love that Regina nearly sobbed when they floated into her mind.

The fire ceased and her back collapsed to the table. She pulled desperately at her heart and sobbed when Emma's essence moved inside her mind, soothing the terror and fear. She was still there. He hadn't taken all of her. The knob twisted again, and air hitched in her throat, gagging her. He was moving up his timeline. She gathered her energy and locked everything down, praying she hid her love far enough inside to save it from the onslaught.

Fire burned. Pain flashed behind her eyes. Her shoulders jerked from the table. A hollow scream tore from her throat. She hadn't stood a chance against the strength of the magic extraction machine. She fell to the table with a sob.

"Emma," she whimpered, digging deep to find a sliver of her beautiful lover still clinging to her soul. She'd not survive another round. Emma was gone. Her love for her ripped away in the harshest manner possible. Regina cried freely. Her soul felt hollow and empty, but she continued to search for a tiny shred of their combined magic in her heart. She came up empty.

"You have a son," she whined when he adjusted the knob again, her words barely above a whisper. Their love may have been destroyed, but her love for Henry and Ruby and Granny and Belle remained. She still had reasons to fight and survive. She and Emma might have rebuilt their love while Regina helped her take care of their son. She bought time with her last ditch confession.

"What?" Neal whipped around and stalked to the table. He grabbed her throat and forced her eyes to his.

"You have a son," Regina repeated and gasped around the fingers cutting off her oxygen.

"Henry," she choked and then sucked a sharp breath as fresh cool air filled her lungs. "I adopted him 11 and a half years ago. Emma gave birth to him in prison. That's why he calls me mom. She came to Storybrooke because he went to Boston and found her almost two years ago."

A high-pitched cry tore from her throat when he grabbed it again. It was scared and feminine and so unlike The Evil Queen. He faltered.

"Please Neal, tell Emma where I am, and you can get to know him if he wants to know you. Please don't take her away from me," she whispered. Emma was already gone, but he hadn't known that. He was ignorant of the fact that she now fought for her life and not her love.

Her face flushed with heat as he squeezed the breath from her and grunted when he slammed her back into the table. Her still healing head injury throbbed as blood rushed back to her brain, and she whimpered.

"Do you love her?" He asked carefully, his voice neutral. She nodded and gulped air. Her confession startled something inside of him. She was getting through, and the next words broke her.

"That's what your taking from me. True love transcends realms. I don't need to be in Storybrooke to feel it. It's the most powerful magic that has ever existed, but it's not something to be wielded, not in the traditional sense of the word. Please Neal, you don't have to do anything else but tell her where I am. She'll come for me." Regina begged, uncaring how weak she may have seemed.

She wanted to go home. This wasn't who she was anymore. She wasn't a woman filled with enough vengeance and hatred and evil to withstand an indeterminate amount of torture, not like The Evil Queen. Emma destroyed that woman the moment she decided to love her unconditionally. She was just Regina, and she'd reached the limit of her tolerance. She never wanted to be The Evil Queen in the first place, and she certainly feared becoming that woman again, now that she knew how life felt without her. Life with Emma and Henry away from magic. A life that was now built on a love that didn't exist anymore.

Tears slipped down her face. What was the point of going back? She should have let him kill her.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" He questioned her motives, her honesty. He knew how to recognize desperation when it lay before him, and frantic people went to fantastical measures when faced with death. He was close to taking all of her magic, and she felt it. Still, a sliver of conscience nagged the back of his mind. What if she told the truth?

"Ask Emma. She hit you at Granny's to obtain a sample of your blood. Henry is your biological son, and Emma is my true love. Ask her, Neal, before you kill me or you will regret your actions the rest of your life when your son discovers exactly who his father is," Regina warned, hoping her threat scared him. It had.

He leaned over her again, his breath hot on her sweaty face. "You have as long as it takes me to get to Salem and back to live. I doubt they'll bother with you now, but if they do, pretend you're passed out. It's no fun if they can't watch your pain. And if you're lying to me…" He grabbed her chin and throat and jerked her eyes to his.

"If you're lying to me, I'll keep you alive until I grow bored of you or you kill yourself. You understand?" His hand slid over her breasts and stomach, and she knew exactly what he meant by bored. When she was too weak to beg him to stop, he killed her.

Brown eyes slammed shut when rough fingers slid along her thigh beneath her skirt. She held her breath subconsciously when his large hand cupped her crotched and squeezed. He only emphasized his point, she reminded herself. It was a scare tactic. She wasn't actually in any danger of being raped right now, not when his mind reeled with the possibility that he had a son.

"Regina!" Emma shot upright, almost dislodging the bleary-eyed librarian from the sofa.

Belle touched her shoulder with two reticent fingers, eyes wide with the fear Emma wasn't sure where she was. She released a relieved sigh when Emma settled back into their embrace. The blonde heaved into her chest as uncontrollable sobs mingled with the murmur of the television. Belle held her tightly and pressed a kiss to her forehead, knowing words wouldn't have soothed Emma in this moment.

"She's gone, Belle," Emma sobbed and clutched at her side. "I can't feel her anymore. She's gone."

Belle's forehead furrowed as tears of her own burned behind her tired eyes and the spot where her heart should have been lurched painfully. Whether Regina had just been killed or Emma finally accepted her reality, Belle hadn't a clue, but hearing those words from Emma's lips stripped away the last of her own belief that Regina clung to life. Her chest ached for Ruby's embrace, but in the absence of her own true love, she clung tightly to Emma and grieved with her. Tears flowed freely onto tangled blonde hair and flushed chest as they relinquished their iron-clad grasps on their emotions.

Words weren't necessary, nor would they have been helpful. Emma just accepted the loss of the other half of her soul. She was forever changed and faced with a grief that lingered for the rest of her natural life. Belle cried for Regina and hoped her tears weren't also for Emma. It was possible that she'd just lost both women in that moment, one to death and the other to grief.

She clung tightly and prayed at least one of the only two people in this world she considered friends as well as family remained with her when morning broke.