Title: No Ådvanced Warning
Åuthor: Darkstarspanky aka Carter
Summary: SG-1 gate to a planet with Ancient technology. With this technology, they get themselves into a rather...interesting situation.
Rating: PG (language, mostly)
Spoilers: Anything that happened previous to "Heroes I & II"
Årchive: If anyone actually wants it, let me know first.
Disclaimer: Not mine...yadda, yadda, yadda...I only own the SG-1and a shipload of tapes...
Åuthor's Note: I'm trying to be a good author and give you another few updates during my holidays…I hope you guys liked the last chapter, and thanks to Spaceman546 and Sci Fi Fan Gillian who reviewed! Well, this chapter should hopefully be better than the last! Still don't have a beta, so once again, any grammar/spelling errors are mine, and mine alone!
Sam's POV
Teal'c walked into the "room" we were in (if you can even call it that) to tell us the journey was going much quicker than expected, and that we should arrive in a few days. That made me a little happier. Now I don't have to be stuck on this damn ship with Jack for another week or so.
"Well, that's good news. Now we don't have to wait as long to meet the rebels that are rebelling against the rebels."
"Carter, do you always have to say that? Every time something like that gets brought up, you come along with that mouthful."
"Yes, I know, isn't it great?"
At least I can actually say it. I bet you'd get tongue tied if you tried it.
"I heard that."
Damn it! Where is that brick wall I was supposed to be thinking of? My last line of defense has left me…and now I'm left with unguarded thoughts susceptible to Colonel O'Neill's prying…mind?
"Don't worry; I can only hear your thoughts when you broadcast them. Otherwise I'm not even paying attention."
"Oh, I see how it is. My thoughts aren't important enough for you to know?"
"Uh…I didn't think you wanted me to read your thoughts. I mean, they are after all, private. Unless there's something I should know about…"
"Heh…no nothing at all. There is absolutely nothing going on in my mind…that you should know about."
"Yeah, okay, I know when you're lying…and this is one of those times."
'I still hate you.'
'It's nice to know you still care.'
'Isn't it though? Most people have trouble trying to find out my outermost thoughts…and you can find out my innermost thoughts just by…reading my mind. Those damn technologically advanced Ancients. They need to die…'
'I hate to break it to you, but the Ancients are technically dead. That would be why some of them ascended…'
'Right. Gee, thanks. I used to have my intelligence…and now thanks to you…I have nothing. My life has gone down the toilet. Just take away my doctorate in astrophysics because I'm sure I can't live up to it now. We can just change the name to Jack O'Neillon the certificatebecause you seem to be more worthy of it than I am.'
'What the hell are you on, Carter? I've never known you to be so…dramatic. Seriously, are you smoking something? Because if you are, when we get back to Earth I can take you to a nice clinic and no one has to know about it.'
I just stared at him. We've gotten very strange since we were turned into teenagers. Not that we weren't already strange. We've just gotten…stranger. I guess it makes life more fun though.
'No, Sir, I'm not on drugs. I'm not smoking anything. I don't even smoke cigarettes. I think I'm still suffering the effects of the NyQuil that we never stole from Daniel and never consumed.'
'Right. You just keep telling yourself that. Eventually, you might come to believe it. I doubt it though.'
'Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sir. I'm glad you think I can overcome any problems I might have. It's nice to know that you're behind me 100.'
We failed to notice that Daniel had come back into the room. We were just standing there, looking at each other and having a conversation inside our heads. When I looked over at him, he was staring at us with a look of utmost fascination. It was actually kind of funny.
Without looking back at Jack I thought, 'Sir, we have some company. I think we should cut the telepathy business for now.'
'Right, okay. I guess we'll have to continue this very interesting conversation later.'
"Hey, Daniel. What's going on?" Jack asked.
"Nothing. What were you guys talking about? Or…thinking about for that matter."
"We were just talking about how Carter thinks you're one big, sexy, hunk of man."
His eyes widened in surprise.
"…What…?"
I smacked Jack hard on the arm.
"OW! What was that for?!"
I just stared at him, then turned to Daniel.
"No, Daniel, we weren't talking about that. We all know you and Janet are perfect for each other…"
"Yeah…the doctor…and her patient…"
We both started snickering at that point, since we both knew that Daniel and Janet had been seen around base…making out in the supply closets. And in his lab. And in her office. Discreet couple, aren't they?
Daniel's face showed a look of relief. I think he forgot about the earlier prank…and how he told us about the base pool…that included my father…and how they were all betting on my love life. I'm still pissed about that by the way. Next time I see my father, I shall have a little chat with him about this.
'I don't think he got the reference to the "doctor and patient" thing. Otherwise he would have freaked out by now.'
'Either that, or he's grown up enough to where the idea of people knowing about his…romance…doesn't phase him?'
We both laughed at that. Because in the eight years that Jack has known him, and in the seven that I've known him, there has never been any indication that he would ever get over someone knowing what he does in his private life. Of course, when you're doing stuff like that all over the base, it's kind of hard to keep it a secret. What if Daniel acting like that is all just a front, and he really doesn't care. That little Nothus! AH! There's that word again. No more Latin! I am on strike from my brain!
'How can you be on strike from your brain? I may not be smart…but even I know that's not possible.'
'I don't know how I can be. I just am. And we've gone over this. We all know that you're smarter than you let on. So no more pretending. At least in front of me.'
'I don't think I can change that habit. It's just too much fun trying to convince the entire base that I'm an idiot…who has managed to make Colonel in the US Air Force by his accomplishments in the line of duty only.'
'It's not fun for me when I have to convince the entire base that I'm smart, a woman, and a woman who can prove herself in combat.'
'You don't have to prove yourself anymore. We all know you're smart, beautiful, and someone who could kick my ass at any given moment.'
"Uh…guys…you're doing it again."
"Oh! Sorry, Daniel. What were you saying, again?"
"Nothing important. Just that the ship is about to blow up because I accidentally set the self destruct. I thought you might want to know."
"Daniel! That is not funny! We can't help it if we get lost in our own minds sometimes."
"That is a phrase I never thought I'd hear from Jack O'Neill." Daniel said in mock surprise.
I just looked at the two men. They were behaving like children. Oooh! This should be fun to watch. Now all I need is some popcorn. Wait…the last thing that Jack sent me…did he say I was beautiful? Why am I worrying about this? Oh, jeez, I need to get a life. I feel like I did when I was a kid and my parents had grounded me for setting stuff on fire. How was I supposed to know that being a pyromaniac was a bad thing?
They were still arguing about this a few minutes later, so I decided to break it up.
"Guys! Sir, Daniel! Stop acting like little children! We're going to be stuck with each other for at least a few more days, so can we please not do this now?"
They both sighed. I could tell I had gotten to them. Maybe they can stop acting like the inner children that they have. And in Jack's case, maybe he can stop acting like the child he appears to be at the moment. Knowing them as I do, though, I can tell you right now they won't stop. It's just their thing. Argue about a moot point, and keep arguing about it until the thing is so dead it's decayed and sitting as a pile of bones on their front lawns.
Okay, so that didn't really make much sense. But that's okay. I never really make sense anyway. Especially when I'm talking to myself inside my head. Then everything becomes incoherent and stupid sounding. Like it does right now. Brilliant. It makes me think of Jell-O…ah how I miss that nice blue color…and…wait…why does that remind me of Jell-O?
A hand was being waved in front of my face. I looked further and noticed it was attached to an arm. Which was attached to a certain handsome colonel we all know and love. Just…in the strictly platonic way. Nothing more. I swear. Hit me with a lie detector if you don't believe me.
Daniel was still standing there. They had apparently stopped arguing while I was conversing with myself. Good. Now I don't have to separate them and chain them to a wall…or something. This should be an okay trip after all. But if they start it up again, I swear that will be the last time they ever speak.
"Can we just not bring up my personal relationships, please? I mean, Janet and I don't want it to be broadcasted all over the base."
"But we aren't even on base at the moment. And, what do you have to worry about? You aren't in the military, only she is, so you don't have to worry about the regs or anything." Jack said.
"Yeah. So, if everyone knew you two were gettin' it on, no one would care. Except those nurses in the infirmary who are quite smitten with you." I said, while giggling.
He had the decency to blush. Daniel always was the shy one, wasn't he? It wasn't like I hadn't already known about their relationship before this past week or anything. She had told me the minute he had finally scrounged up enough courage to ask her out.
"…I think I'm just going to go now…and hide myself in shame." Daniel said as he walked out of the room.
"I can't believe you used the phrase 'gettin' it on' to describe Daniel and Doc. That is so…high school. And 70's."
"I know, isn't it great? It's so retro that it works."
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"
"Am I sure? No, never! Am I okay? Probably not. So…all I have to say is…I'm not okay…I promise." (Å/N: It's a song by My Chemical Romance…I was listening to it and I just thought I'd add it somewhere.)
He just kind of stared at me for a few moments. I had just given him the indication that I'm crazy. Well, I would have to say that I am for putting up with this for the past seven years. But then again, aren't we all crazy in our own little way? Of course, I'm just crazy in a big, messed up kind of way. Something no one fails to notice.
"Right. Okay. I need a drink."
"No, you don't. That's what got us these lovely hangovers, remember?"
My head was still pounding, and there was that nice little sensitivity to light and sound. And here I thought Tylenol was the cure-all for hangovers. Well, at least the headache part of things. Maybe I should have bought Excedrin. Damn.
"Oh, I remember all too well. Why did we get drunk again? And why did we use NyQuil?"
"I don't really remember why we got drunk, and I don't remember why we used NyQuil, either. My throat burns, and I have a hangover."
It's true. Since NyQuil is supposed to be used for getting rid of cold symptoms and stuff, if you have too much of it, all the other ingredients can cause problems. Well, since we consumed at least 20 times more than the regular recommended dosage, we could say that the side effects are a little more…prevalent? It was my dumb idea to use NyQuil to get drunk. For that, I think I deserve a slap.
Teal'c came back in and we had a nice little chat for a while. Something along the lines of:
"Are you feeling unwell, O'Neill?"
"If you think a roaring headache is unwell, then yes I am. There's also a lesson in this: don't get drunk off NyQuil. Ever."
"Not that he gets drunk anyway." I said.
"Should you not rest till your symptoms subside?"
"I guess I should…but no. I don't want to," he looked over at me, "someone might try and prank me."
I put on my best innocent face, "Who? Me? I would never…unless you pranked me first."
"Tell me something I don't know."
Ah…yes. The incident with the slime. Then my retaliation with the green Jell-O. Good times.
"Hey…what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"
"Wrong. What doesn't kill you makes you feel pain."
"Oh. When did they change it?"
Good job, Carter. Play dumb. Show him how frustrating it is.
"Ugh, are we still on this?"
Damn him! The one time he chooses to be smart, it has to be when I'm trying to play dumb. Life sucks, it really does.
I turned around and decided not to talk to him. If he's going to be petty and childish about it, then I just won't talk to him. The irony is, that I'm being childish as well when I'm chastising him for doing it. Oh, well.
'Idiot.'
'What? I thought you just…thought…the name idiot to me…'
"Of course I didn't…I would never…how could you think that? I mean…just…that is so horrible. I can't believe you would think that I could ever think or say that about you…or to you for that matter.'
'Thanks, Carter, it's nice to know you care.'
'Of…course? How could I not?'
Er…I know it was just a phrase…but…ugh. Suddenly I was hit with a wave of nausea. Am I getting sick? Or…cue suspenseful music…am I pregnant?! I hope not, and I don't think I am…because…ahhh!! If I were…it would be wrong. Just, completely, utterly and verily wrong.
"What're you thinking about?"
Crap. I forgot I wasn't alone to wallow in my thoughts without fear of someone else overhearing them…in my head…through telepathy. Damn Ancients.
"Uh…nothing. I'm just not feeling well all of a sudden. I'm nauseous, and I have a really bad headache. I don't think it's from the NyQuil."
He put his arm around my waist, for support I guess. He led me over to a crate to sit down. When I looked over at him, I saw a look of intense worry etched on his face. As soon as I sat down, I felt a little better. I honestly don't know why I'm feeling like this. I mean, I would sense if there were a baby, right? Sometimes a woman just knows…and considering I've had all these special things happen to me, you'd think I would know if something like this happened.
Oh, God, I'm rambling. Please stop me before I say something stupid…I mean…think something stupid? Damn. Too late.
"Are you sure you're okay? I mean, you look really pale…and you said you weren't feeling well."
"I'll be fine. I mean, as soon as I sat down, I started to feel better. Thanks."
I gave him a small smile of reassurance. I don't suppose that helped him feel all that better about my condition. It was then that I realized that I've been on this ship longer than I thought. It's already been about 5 days. I guess that's why Teal'c said we'd be there in a little while. I'm an idiot.
"Still, I think you should take some Tylenol and lay down. Just in case you're getting sick…"
He didn't have a chance to finish that sentence. And if he did, I didn't hear it because my world went black again.
I guess I awoke a few hours later. I could sense the presence of three people, but I couldn't see them! I've…gone blind. Well this sucks. It really sucks. Then I noticed that Jack was lying on the ground next to me. Only because I was feeling around with my hands, and I ran into him. Well, more like stuck my fingers in his eye socket…or was it his nose? Oh, well.
"Jack! Jack!"
I started shaking his limp form. What the hell has happened to us? Seriously, this fainting thing is getting so old. It got old the first time it happened. This is what, the third or fourth? It's happened so many times that I've lost count.
'Carter, what the hell is going on? I can't see anything! And I know it's not because my eyes are closed. I know they're open.'
'I'm not really sure, Sir. As far as I know, we're blind. As for the reason, I'm not really sure.'
Great. Just great. We're in the middle of nowhere, blind, and…well, those are the only two I can think of right now. It was like we'd been hit with a Goa'uld shock grenade. And we all know how much fun those are.
"Well, so what are we going to do now? We aren't going to be much help in rescuing Bra'tac and Ryac if we're blind." Jack said.
"I don't know…I honestly don't know."
I sighed. This is kind of freaking me out. What's going to happen next? I'm going to ask this again, why the hell are we blind? God must hate me. Ugh. Just then I got a flash of something. But it wasn't the interior of the ship. It was…
Å/N: Hello all! Haha! Kind of a cliffy! Though I bet you guys figured it out. I think my story has become a little too predictable…dang. Well, okay, I hope this chapter was still good though! Leave me a review if you liked this chapter, hated this chapter, have any suggestions…whatever. Thanks and…HÅPPY CHRISTMÅS! Or…happy belated Chanukah…Kwanzaa…or…just…how 'bout happy holidays? I hope everyone is well, and those who are off school for now, I hope you have a great break! Oh! And, the phrases from the last chapter, "Nox" means "night", "ego amo tu" means "I love you." (though I'm not entirely certain on the structuring) and "Nothus" means "bastard." haha. And yes, I know they've switched quite quickly back into the easy banter and stuff. It'll be explained later! I promise! (Since when have I let you down on a promise? Except the posting of chapter 11...but with school and all…sorry!) Er…sorry for the LONG author's note!!!!!
Later,
Darkstarspanky aka Carter
