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Walking into the room with Toby at her heel, Poppy was once more awestruck by its size and beauty. There were windows everywhere with silk drapes tied to the side. Nearly every window had some sort of lovely view, one with a waterfall right outside and on the other side, a splendid garden with a grand marble fountain in the centre and yellow and orange flowers. The bed stood against the wall in the centre of the room, the bed frames made of carven wood with an intricate vine design and other complex patterns.
Turning, she saw herself in a mirror. The dress she wore was a brilliant royal blue colour, with long layered sleeves and fine embroidery along the collar and the hem of the dress. She had never seen herself look so regal and beautiful, and a part of her wondered if it was simply the choice of clothing that gave Elves some of their mysticism. At that moment, her own reflection enchanted her and she could not help but sit on a stool before it and brush her hair with a silver and gold comb.
She heard someone clearing their throat and faced the source of the sound. It was a young male elf, tall and broad shouldered with long brown hair adorned with an intricate metal crown. He was incredibly handsome and Poppy felt her cheeks pool with blood at the sight of him smiling towards her with courtesy and offer his arm. "I have come to escort you to dinner. My Lord Elrond would be honoured to dine in your company," the ellon said.
"Yes, sure," Poppy said, standing and accepting his hand. He wrapped her arm around his as Poppy had seen in pictures when she was a girl. "What's your name?"
"Lindir," he responded. "And I have heard yours is Pengwen, is that correct?"
Poppy blushed and felt her stomach turn. "No, it's not," she replied. She could see the embarrassment across his face and giggled. "It's...it's Meldis."
"Meldis? I apologise for my mistake, it shall not be occurring again," Lindir said.
She wanted to tell him that he was always welcome to call her Poppy, but in that dress, she looked much more like a Meldis. "Lindir," she began, earning his attention. "Do you happen to know who else will be joining us for dinner?" Poppy had to know if she would see Merilien again.
Lindir looked away for a brief moment in some thought before turning towards her. "Your entire company shall be there, as well as the lord and lady of Imladris. Why do you ask? Were you expecting something else?"
"No, no, not at all. I just...was wondering if my friend would be there. We had a bit of a, um, spat? Maybe?"
Poppy pursed her lips together in confusion and noted Lindir also was seemingly unsure of what to say. "I...I apologise...?" he said hesitantly.
"Well, it wasn't so much of a spat as it was that she just left! And I don't know if she'll be at dinner or not and I'm hoping she will be because, pardon me, but I have questions," Poppy stated, nearly scoffing.
Lindir could not think of anything else to do except smile shyly at her and gently shrug. "I suppose we shall both see."
The young woman laughed lightly and shook her head in resignation. "I suppose we will."
The ellon was quiet as he walked her to the dining hall where other Elves played the harp and flute to entertain guests. He would greet her few comments with polite nods and soft smiles towards her, and it wasn't long until Poppy noticed how bashful the ellon was as they passed other Elves which he greeted with the same soft voice and silent gestures as he regarded her. Walking through the halls, Poppy's breathed hitched with every turn they took, each one more open and adorned than the last. With every moment she remained there, the more surreal it seemed to become to her. The elegance and class of the Noldorin Elves was unlike anything she had ever witnessed, and to be treated like such an esteemed lady was nothing she had ever foreseen for herself.
The dog, as well, was placed on a comfortable pillow and given a plate of food with meat mixed in. Poppy nearly laughed when she saw Toby's coat had been cleaned and perfumed, and he wore a metal collar like the crowns the Elves wore on their head. And as if he had been born for the part, the dog stuck his tongue out and sat still as he was catered to and fed meats, fruits, and desserts to his heart's desire.
Poppy could see the rangers sitting by Elrond's side, Arahad taking his place on the left side of Elrond and a beautiful, silver haired elleth sitting on his right. Poppy, uncomfortably enough, found herself in front of her father although she avoided eye contact with him. Nowhere to be found was Merilien, much to Poppy's disappointment and worry. No matter how many people sat at the table, it felt empty without her.
"Where will you be heading now?" Elrond asked Arahad.
"North. When we found the two women, the orcs had been taking them northward towards the Misty Mountains. I have a strong suspicion, Elrond, and I need to know if the orcs are creating strongholds across the mountain range."
"Why the mountains? There is nothing there," the elleth said.
"My Lady Celebrian, several points along the mountain provide strategic position for incoming assaults. Good cover from armies, and good vantage points whether facing east or west," Arahad explained.
Elrond's face twisted into a scowl and he set down his glass of water. "You are suggesting then…?"
Arahad nodded, his face pale and grave. "The Watchful Peace has come to an end, Lord Elrond. His armies are assembling once more, and there is reason to believe that what he needs is hidden in those mountains."
Elladan and Elrohir gave one nod towards their father, whose brow raised in alarm and fear. "Father," Elladan began, "we have also received word from King Thranduil of large spiders encroaching on his lands and orcs taking refuge in the ruins of Dul-guldur. Something is preparing an attack, but it is biding its time."
Elrond and Celebrian stiffened and looked briefly at each other. Celebrian's thoughts drifted to her children first, her bold boys who would no doubt wish to go on a hunt for orcs and their daughter who prepared to leave for Lorien soon. Elrond, however, could think of little except the war that had defeated that evil and brought peace to Middle Earth. Now, it appeared the peace had come to a close.
"Speak truth to us father," Elrohir added. "Could it be possible that evil has returned?"
In his heart, Elrond felt a faint shadow of dread spread across him upon the realisation that peace was now coming to a close. "Something far greater than any evil you two can imagine," he replied frankly. "And if what you say is true, Arahad...the orcs shall surely infiltrate the mountains until it is found and then nothing shall be able to stop him."
Poppy's eyes widened in concern and worry. King Thranduil had told the western realms of his troubles with incoming darkness spreading across his forests. The Elves have been increasingly retreating north, their boundaries tighter and more fortified than they had ever been. And there is where Poppy was headed, unarmed and untrained in battle.
"Do not concern yourself with those talks," Vorondil said towards Poppy. "There is nothing you can do."
Poppy, however, continued to dismiss him and instead focused on her food. Someone must have informed the cooks that she did not eat meat, for her plate had not even the faintest smell of it but an assortment of vegetables and fruits instead, and other foodstuffs such as bread, potatoes, and oats. Glancing up, she caught a glimpse of Vorondil who then looked down at her plate. It was then she realised it had been her father to informed them, but said nothing of it.
Vorondil sighed and pushed his plate aside, wishing more than anything for his daughter to speak to him. "You do not have to forgive me," Vorondil whispered to her. "All I ask is that you find it within yourself not to allow the bitterness I caused you to live in your heart forever. I cannot go back and fix my mistakes, I can only try to mitigate the harm I have caused for your future."
"If you'll excuse me," Poppy said.
Elrond noticed the girl stand and leaned back on his seat. "Is there something not to your liking?" he asked.
Poppy shook her head. "Not something," she replied. "Someone. But thank you for your hospitality, Lord Elrond and Lady...um…"
The silver haired elleth smiled kindly. "Celebrian," she said.
Poppy's face turned an unnaturally pink hue and she cleared her throat. "Lady Celebrian." Having already made a fool of herself by not remembering the name of the Lord of Rivendell's wife, Poppy hurried off towards the room she was given. It was a large place, but she was confident she remembered the way. Behind her, the small dog ran up to her heels and followed his favourite person.
Vorondil stood, although held back by Gaeron. "Leave her," Gaeron advised.
The man pulled away, however, and shook his head. "She is my daughter, I will not leave her again."
Lord Elrond did not say anything of what was occurring on his dinner table, but was able to gather more than plenty of information. The mortal girl was the daughter of a Dunedain ranger, and clearly angry at him. And as any father would, Vorondil pursued his child in search of forgiveness or at least a semblance of acceptance. Lord Elrond would not dismiss it as unimportant matters, for the relationship between father and daughter, from his experience, was always of utmost importance to both the father and the daughter.
Briefly, Elrond glanced at Poppy and couldn't help but think of his own daughter. He humorously thought to himself how fortunate he was that he had no conflicts with his daughter, for the girl was fierce and strong. He was sure when that day came, if ever, his hands would be far more full by his frustrations with her than anything hiding in the Misty Mountains.
Poppy yelped at feeling a hand on her elbow and jumped back, startled. Then, she was angry. Her father-no, Vorondil, stood before her. He looked like a broken man and his eyes already pleaded with hers to please give him a chance to speak. "Poppy," he began. "Will you hate me forever?"
"No," Poppy replied quickly. "One day I will die."
"I am sorry for what I did to you and your mother. I won't try to justify myself, I won't fight against you. Just allow me to apologise to you even if you choose not to forgive me."
Poppy shook her head and scoffed. "She never married, you know. No man wanted her, who would want a penniless woman with a baby? You did that to ther. You ruined her life, you ruined our lives. I never had friends because other children's parents didn't want them spending time with some bastard girl. I barely had my own mother because she worked so tirelessly to keep me alive and fed, because you weren't there to help. You were off swinging some blasted sword at goblins and orcs and prancing around on horses like the dainty nitwit you are!"
Valar help him, Vorondil thought, even his own daughter thought his riding stance was too feminine. Gaeron was right after all. "I had my duties that I couldn't forsake."
"So you abandoned my mother and your child. Did those duties mean nothing to you? I hope you don't think yourself as noble for choosing to be a ranger rather than a husband and father."
"The rangers of the north are charged with protecting Eriador, and that was always the most important thing to me until you were born. Then protecting you became the most important part of my life."
Poppy shook her head slowly and turned away. "You claim you wanted to protect me and yet here I am, still wounded. Except this time, it was by you. Just tell me the truth, Vorondil. You left because you didn't want to be my father."
Vorondil stilled and felt his bones collapse inside his skin. His stomach turned and his head became light. It was time to come clean, wasn't it? No matter how noble and honest he had wanted to come off, how justified he wanted to his actions to seem, it all came down to the bare and ugly truth: he was a coward. "...I was afraid, you're right," Vorondil confessed. He could not see Poppy's lips purse in pain and betrayal. She had always known it.
"I loved you. From the moment your mother told me you were inside her, I loved you. But you are right, I didn't know how to be a father. I kept telling myself it would come to me and on the day of your birth, I held you in my arms and I...I didn't know what to do," Vorondil said, his head hanging in shame. "You were so small, so fragile, and despite how much I adored you...I was certain I would not be a good father. I figured my skills had always been out there, fighting and protecting our lands. That is how I had believed I would be a father to you for I was too frightened and certain that I could not be a capable father any other way. I was wrong, Pengwen. I was wrong to leave you. I was wrong to never return. I confess to everything I have done and agree that I have wronged you, but I have also always loved you."
And finally it was there: the truth. He was no longer hiding behind false noble intentions, threw away the lie that his duty to the other rangers was of such importance that he could not abandon it, and dismissed his constant attempts to convince himself his actions were somehow justified. Fatherhood had frightened him, and when no paternal instinct came upon her birth, he had taken his leave and thought to father her in some other way. But none of that mattered now. What mattered is that he did not witness her first steps, nor did he hear her first words, and he was absent the first time she danced or fawned over a boy or created her crown of flowers.
Poppy turned towards him and pulled something out of the waistline of her dress where a small fold was just large enough to keep a bulky silver ring. Vorondil's eyes widened at seeing the silver ring in her hand, adorned with one single sapphire gem at the top. She then placed the ring on his hand, opening his palm and setting the jewellery down on it. "My mother told me you gave it to her as a promise, and she gave it to me after that promise was broken. I used to dream I'd see you. You'd walk down the road and you'd know it was me because I had this promise you made to my mum. The promise is broken, it had been for a long time, and I know who you are now. I don't need it anymore," Poppy said softly.
Grief and guilt would not allow him to speak and he closed his eyes in the deepest sorrow as his daughter closed his hand with the promise ring inside. Poppy chose not to forgive him, but she was ready to start letting go. And that, he thought, was enough. Time would not turn back, would not show him any mercy or consider changing the events of the past, so he mourned a memory and braced himself for what was yet to come.
Leaving her father behind, Poppy had considered returning to her room and then considered asking for Merilien. And then she decided she simply wanted to be alone. She clicked her tongue towards Toby and whistled at the dog, who followed her as she walked off towards a new, unexplored direction. She had never been the curious explorer, but she did desire to find a space to think and enjoy the view of the Elvish town.
After a short while, she came upon a large balcony outlooking a great garden and tall waterfalls. The view was lovely and so she leaned against the marble railing and let her skin relish in the breeze and coolness from the water. Beside her, Toby sat and wagged his tail. His view was blocked by the columns of the railings, but he pretended to be looking out into the gardens and waterfalls all the same.
The flowers in the garden were beautiful, Poppy thought and rested her head against her palm, but they paled in comparison to the flowers in Bree-hill. Her thoughts drifted to her mother and Lily Chubb, and she wondered if Lily was happy in Hobbiton and how her mother coped with her absence. It didn't matter how much time had gone by, she always thought of the older woman. Perhaps it was silly of her, but Meggy took a place in Poppy's heart that she didn't imagine she'd ever move from.
Recalling the soft voice of her mother and the way she brushed her hair or hummed to her, Poppy found herself struggling to fight back tears once more. "No-one in the world is better than her, you know," Poppy said to Toby. "I miss her more every day. You know what I want, Toby? I want a spell that draws a painting of everything I see and sends it to my mother every day. Better, I want a spell that brings my mother to me right here and now so we can talk about how dirty that fountain water must be and steal the fabrics while these Elves aren't looking."
"I can have some gifted to you, if you would like," a voice replied.
Poppy yelped and then turned rigid with mortification. That was not Toby.
Lord Elrond, clearly amused, stood beside her as Poppy tried to compose herself while likely internally dying of the humiliation. It was charming to see that sort of youthful composure again, Elrond thought. "A great view you found," Elrond said. "And you are correct to say the water does, indeed, appear particularly dirty from where we stand. I shall have it addressed."
"I didn't mean to insult your...your home," Poppy stuttered. "I was simply saying that, that I...I…."
"That you wish for your mother to be here," Elrond completed. "Do I frighten you? I hope not. It would be a great pittance."
"No, Lord Elrond. You don't frighten me. Really, at this point with all I've said, there's nothing to be frightened about anymore," Poppy said, resigned.
Elrond chuckled and Poppy momentarily felt her spirit lift with more confidence. "You are a very resilient young woman, I do not imagine one elf is enough to intimidate you."
"Oh, it is," Poppy replied. "Especially an elf-lord. And I'm not very resilient, it's been mostly dumb luck that's kept me alive. And a dog."
Elrond laughed openly then, his amusement with the mortal woman surprising even him. "Dumb luck is often the result of a strong will."
Poppy raised a brow at this, thinking back. She still did not remember a time where her will was so strong, it brought about the dumb luck she had. "I'm not so sure about that," Poppy said. "Perhaps Merilien's will. She's far braver and stronger than I am."
"I imagine she would say the same about you," Elrond replied. "Why are you not with her now?"
Poppy's heart sank and she suddenly gave no care in the world what Elrond thought of her. She would not longer try to seem dignified or majestic, she was simply Poppy Appleby. "Things are...complicated between us."
"Hm. Care to indulge my curiosities?"
She opened her mouth to say something and then closed it. "Do you…" Poppy was hesitant, but she pushed herself forward anyway. "Do you think...have you heard of Elves and Men...I'm not sure what I want to say. I had always thought myself close to Merilien. I called her my closest friend, and she spurned me right after."
Elrond took a deep breath. "I see."
"...Is it strange? For Men to love Elves? For me to love Merilien despite our eventual fates?"
"No stranger than anything else. What we perceive to be strange is merely nothing more than a reflection of our ignorances and our rearing. Nothing in this world is strange, but perhaps everything is strange from a certain perspective."
"What do you mean?"
Elrond looked up in thought, trying to think of a way to explain it simply to a girl from Combe. "Hens do not fly," Elrond began. "Nor do they sing. How strange a hen must seem to a canary, but the hen would likely believe the same of the canary. So which one is strange and which one is ordinary?"
Poppy shrugged. "They're just different."
Elrond smiled at her and nodded once. "Precisely."
"I wonder what my mother would think. Me here with all of these fair folk and crossing Middle Earth with a Woodland Elf."
"I admire the love you have for your mother, but a mother does not command her daughter's heart. And to allow her is to bring yourself misery," Elrond said. Although he thought of his own daughter and silently hoped those words would not bite him on the bum.
"I regret not being kinder to her. I never knew how much she meant to me until I spent so many days without her. Goodness, sometimes I even regret being here because I can hear her crying over me and I can't stand it. I want to be glad that I did this for myself. Now it's been so long and I feel so much guilt for what I did that I'm afraid to send her a letter. I saw you had birds to deliver messages and I...I don't know."
Elrond placed his hand on the girl's shoulder, now sympathetic of her. "We never fully do, I'm afraid. But what I know is that one should not fear the presence of regret, for it is a necessary part of all of us. If were were to remain in its absence, how could we ever know what we truly want or who we truly are? A weapon of the spirit, for although it brings great pain it will lead you ultimately to triumph depending on how it is wielded. You have my permission to use whatever you desire. Write to her, she will be glad to receive your letter. I speak to you as a father, she has already forgiven you."
Elrond bid Poppy farewell for now and promised to have some fabrics arranged for her to take home. That time, Poppy chuckled and agreed. She would like it in a basket and preferably scented, she jested. Looking back towards the garden and the waterfalls, Poppy felt a sense of relief wash over her. She'd write her mother a message tonight on a piece of parchment and send it to Bree. There, surely, someone will deliver it to her.
Walking around the different halls and rooms, Poppy now searched for Merilien with Toby by her side. The dog was able to track them down across how great a distance but did not understand Poppy's command to sniff Merilien out. "Lindir!" Poppy said, running towards the ellon who then turned towards her.
"Meldis," he greeted. "I had thought you were back in your chambers."
"I've been trying to find my friend, Merilien. I haven't seen her in a while and I don't know where she is staying."
Lindir looked somewhat surprised by this. "My lady, she is only one room down from you."
Poppy stood there, trying to decide if it was worth being humiliated. She turned towards Toby, who tilted his head. "I want you to know this could've been entirely avoided if you had just sniffed her out."
"I can still escort you, if you would like," Lindir offered extending his arm.
With a sigh, Poppy accepted the offer and took his arm. Poppy did not speak along the way, although she kept thinking of things to say but figured they were better reserved for Merilien to hear. After all, Merilien was her friend and while Lindir was a wonderful ellon, he was likely not interested in her thoughts regarding what to write to her mother.
Poppy knocked on the door and waited until the door slowly opened. Merilien stood on the other side, her cheeks flushed and eyes swollen and pink. Poppy knew then. Merilien had been crying. Without a word, Poppy forgot about all that she had planned to say and touched Merilien's cheek in concern. "Why were you crying?" Poppy asked, barely a whisper.
The elleth was more vulnerable then and urged Poppy to enter her room. She closed the door behind the woman and let out a sigh. "I want to tell you something," Merilien said and motioned for her to sit. She didn't care if Poppy sat on the bed or on one of the chairs by the small table. She didn't even care if she remained standing, but Merilien would sit.
Poppy sat on edge of the bed. "What is it?"
Merilien sat beside her and did all she could to control her breathing. "I wanted to sail west because I lost everything. It was not only my father who went off to war, it was my brother as well. They both perished. And after we received news of their passing, my mother could not cope with the loss of her son and husband. So she faded. I wanted her to sail west. We would go together, but she could not let go of the Great Greenwood where she had raised her son and married her husband. She could never abandon the trees my brother loved to climb or the kingdom my father died for, so there she remained until her own soul passed to Mandos. And I by her side. After I had lost her, my mother, I decided it was time for me to sail west and heal from these wounds.
And I went. I stepped onto the boat that would take me to the undying lands and then I remembered Mirkwood in the fall. I could not stop thinking about catching the orange and yellow leaves as I climbed the trees, or my mother calling me down for supper. I remembered exploring the caverns of the realm and painting on its walls when no-one was looking. I felt the breeze of the first sun of winter and the last moon of autumn, and how the forest looked covered in snow. I could not forget it, my life there. And like my mother before, I could not abandon it. So I turned back. And then I met you, Poppy. I met you by happenstance, you were the person to find me that day and that was it."
Poppy reached for her hand but stopped, waiting for Merilien to give her consent. Merilien opened her own palm and accepted the woman's touch, even felt relieved under it. "I'm sorry," Poppy whispered. "I...I couldn't imagine so much pain."
"No, you could not," Merilien said, her lips curving downwards as her eyes moistened once more. "Because you are mortal. Here I sit, having condemned myself to another loss that I cannot know how much I will bear."
"But I'm here right now, that's what matters," Poppy said, squeezing her hand slightly.
Merilien faced Poppy, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "I will lose you one day and that will be that. It is over. More grief, more pain, and no-one left that I care for, but I do not know if I will have the strength to leave their memory behind."
Poppy placed her head on Merilien's shoulder. "We both know that isn't true. You'll never lose me because you carry those memories wherever you go, like you carried your family's memory here to show me. I'll be a part of you and live forever there. A person only dies when no-one speaks their names any longer. That is when we truly disappear, so really, I'm an immortal too."
The elleth lowered her head and bit her lip. "How I wish that were true."
"It is true," Poppy said. "You once said that a true friendship can withstand the test of time and space. There is no greater distance than death and time more different than eternity, but they don't scare me at all. You are my truest friend, even death would be hard pressed to break that bond and I've got betting blood in me so I'm willing to stake everything that it will fail. I love you, Merilien. I may not be the smartest woman in the world, but I'm not stupid. I know what fates await us and I'm not afraid. There is no force of nature out there that can move me from you."
Merilien shook her head slowly. "That you speak so confidently about matters you cannot fathom does make you a very stupid girl, Poppy."
"Very well, then I shall be stupid. So long as I am right, stupidity is of little concern to me."
With a soft laugh, Merilien turned towards Poppy and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into an embrace. Poppy, likewise, accepted it happily and as her mother had always done for her in times of difficulty, hummed a song to comfort her.
From the edge of the window, a canary sang.
A/N: And finally, Merilien's motives revealed. So in 2 more chapters, we reach Mirkwood and that part of the story begins.
Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, and favourited. Each one means a great deal to me. It'll take about 2 weeks to update the next chapter.
