Can't Teach a Crab to Walk Straight
"Maui, how exactly did you ripped Tamatoa's leg off?"
The demigod turned to look at the long haired chief in front of him holding her bowl and raising an eyebrow in curiosity. He swallowed the mouthful of food and smiled wide.
"Glad you ask. It's a great story. Especially since I'm the protagonist of such an awesome tale." His chest swelled in pride and his voice rang with confidence. They were having lunch together more frequently since Moana asked to have her meal times back. Occasionally, she would request a story from him and for an egomaniac like him, it wasn't hard to comply. Moana scooched closer to urge his friend to tell the story.
Maui felt like he was talking to a small girl… well, smaller. He sat upright and put away his food to free his hands. He loves to make dramatic gestures along the way.
Many years ago, a couple of thousands to be less vague, a young and gorgeous demigod sailed and flew and walked long distances looking for something. Something he heard the mortals love. Something so valuable that Maui knew they would adore him if he could offer them enough. The problem was that it was hard to obtain. It could only be found in small pieces in the earth or seabed. If you are lucky enough, you could stumble upon a pebble size piece.
After some time, Maui gave up. Even if he found this precious objects, a pebble would not impress the humans. He needed lots and lots of it and hoarding millions of tiny rocks was not appealing.
Just when he was about to forget about his quest, he heard a rumor. A rumor that spoke of a giant Coconut Crab that had a mountain of beautiful, sparkly and shiny treasure in Lalotai.
Maui rubbed his hands in delight. He was back on the game and stealing from a crab would be a piece of cake. He took his hook and headed for Lalotai.
"Wait." Moana interrupted. "You already knew where the entrance was?"
"Of course I did. I went there a couple of times before I met Tamatoa."
"I see… and why are you referring to yourself in third person?"
"Because it sounds cooler that way. Now, be quiet."
Maui breathed in and resumed his story.
When Maui reached Tamatoa's lair, he gasped in awe. His collection was impressive, filled with not just precious jewels but with rare objects as well. He naively thought the dumb crab had left his wealth unprotected (like some silly girl I know) and filled his pockets with it.
Moana laughed. "You don't have pockets, Maui."
"Ugh, for the love of-! Haven't you ever listened to heroic tales before? It's a figure of speech!"
Moana giggled again. "I'm teasing you! Now, keep going. Things are getting interesting."
Maui rolled his eyes and continued.
Tamatoa caught the thief and hissed in anger but it didn't last long when he realized he could acquire a new trophy: the demigod's magical fishhook. Maui fought with bravery and tenacity but soon was overwhelmed by the greed of his enemy. Caught between a crabby foot and the wall, Maui watched in horror as Tamatoa laughed in victory with his weapon in pincer. Maui refused to let it end like that so he grabbed Tamatoa's leg and twisted it. In pain, the crab let go of Maui's hook and instinctively pull back his hurt limb but Maui hold it tight and did a pull of his own. With a grotesque crunching sound, Maui felt the piece of shell and meat become lighter. He threw it aside, took his hook and a bunch of the treasure to return safely to the world of the mortals.
The end.
Moana blinked twice. "Wow… that was actually more graphic than expected. No wonder the kids don't know the story."
Maui shrugged. "Yeah, I might have given too many details the first time I told this one."
Moana arched an eyebrow and smiled. "You were basically the bad guy from Tamatoa's perspective. You know that, right?"
"Bah. It's in the past now. Hopefully, we'll never see him again."
A question popped into the girl's head. "So… I'm guessing the gold and jewels didn't help much with the humans...?"
The demigod sighed. "Nope. In fact, it gave place to greed, conflicts and trouble. That's why I never returned to that dumb-dumb's lair for more."
Moana bit her lip. She didn't mean sour their lunch and wanted to cheer the mood up again but suddenly a hand ruffled her hair in every direction as she was deep in thought.
"What are you sulking for?" The bulky man laughed. "As long as I have you, it's all I need."
Moana widened her eyes and blinked. "Me?"
Maui's heart stopped for a second. "Er… I meant 'you' as in 'all of you'! Yes! You know, Motunui. All of... uh, the villagers."
Moana sighed in relief. How silly of her to misinterpret his words like that. "You will always be welcomed here, Maui. And you don't need to battle monsters, pull islands out of the sea or bring mountains of gold to be so."
The happiness it brings to hear those words always warms his heart in a way he could never describe. "I know. Thank you."
"~You're welcome.~" The chief sang as she fixed her hair. "Now, how exactly do you pull islands out of the sea?"
"Well, I'm really glad you asked that... but that is a story for another day." He said and ruffled her hair once more. Her complaints were unheard since he was quietly appreciating the current luxury of enjoying good food with friends in a place he called home.
Motunui might not become his most exciting story, but it was already his favorite of all.
Thank you all my readers and reviewers! I send you my most kind regards and love. Please do keep reading and reviewing :D
