Chapter Twelve: To Confide Or Not
Harry's haven was wrapped up in silence, as it was still too early for people to be up. Those who were awake did their tasks quietly, not wanting to disturb their comrades from resting. Inside the small room just right around the hall, a young man groaned softly. His back ached and his gut felt strange. In the dark, he blushed, as he thought of the flesh inside him. He didn't pull out. For some reason, the idea that they had been joined throughout the night made him happy.
He had not thought that he would have any energy left when he had returned from a mission last night. It was not that he had done anything dangerous last night – he had more or less acted as another pair of eyes and a scout. Bill, Hermione, and Professor McGonagall had done the real work of solving yet another riddle left behind by Albus Dumbledore. Hermione, with McGonagall's guidance, had unlocked a secret passageway hidden beneath a mass of ruins, of which it was rumored to have people worshipping Hydra. They had come across a vault then, of which Bill's expertise in curse breaking had been very useful. Tonks and Remus were the ones to step into the containment room first, and were quite surprised to find it opening into different areas. It was a labyrinth. A strange sphere-like structure stood in the middle of the 'main' room.
Tonks was uneasy about exploring the other parts of the labyrinth, and so they had returned with only the spherical object. Harry, having acted as a watcher throughout the entire time, had his nerves strung up to a high degree. He had excused himself and had gone straight for Severus' room, with the intention of getting some rest. However, the night had turned out differently for him.
Harry shivered upon remembering the gentleness that Severus had shown him. What do I do? He thought worriedly. I don't want to wake him. He pressed his cheek against the warm flesh of Severus' arm. He must be tired. But it was quite uncomfortable for him. Uncomfortable? It's more like torture. He closed his eyes, and pushed back, very slowly.
"Nnnnh..." Harry heard Severus grunt.
"Ah!"
All of a sudden, Severus curled up around him and used his weight to push him further into the mattress.
"What are you doing?" Severus murmured into his ear.
"What do you mean, what I'm doing?" Harry muttered. "What are you doing still inside of me? Get off – Hermione might come to wake us at any moment."
"Hmmmm." The non-committal response faded. Severus sucked fiercely on the flesh at the back of his neck.
"Se-verus ... ah…."
Hermione knocked on the door at a time that was later than usual. He stopped brushing Severus' hair and went to open the door. She looked quite tired, but she still managed to give him a toothsome smile as she set down a tray of breakfast on the end-table.
"Did you have a good rest, Harry?" she asked somewhat curiously. "You look somewhat ... out of it."
"Huh?" He gave her a blank look.
She raised her eyebrow. "Well, if you're still tired, you can sleep." She yawned. "I'm getting some sleep now."
"You'd stayed up?" He felt slightly guilty.
"Don't give me that look." She waved her hand dismissively. "The sphere was just too interesting for me to have left it alone with Professor McGonagall. But we haven't cracked it yet. We're all getting some shut-eye, and have a look at it again later."
"You didn't leave it on its own, did you?" Harry frowned.
"Of course not. Moody's keeping an eye on it for now. Fleur and Gabrielle will watch it later." She tilted her head to one side. "The thing made you feel ill at ease?"
"Somewhat."
"That's interesting." Though she was tired, she had that expression which told Harry that she was going to investigate the matter.
"Hermione, get some rest. You might miss out interesting stuff if you fall on your face later." He grabbed her elbow and walked her out. "I'll be right back," he said to Severus, who looked at him with a bored expression.
As they walked up the stairs, Harry noticed that Hermione was looking oddly at him. "What?" he asked her, curious.
"What's that on your neck, Harry?" Soft fingers peeled his collar.
"Huh?" He paled. Swiftly, he caught her hand before she could expose his neck to the sunlight coming from the window.
They stopped. Hermione's eyes were wide with amazement.
"Harry, is that a love bite on your neck?" she asked slowly.
He blushed but did not answer.
"Harry!" she squealed. "You ... Snape ... you had..." She turned bright red. "You love him." She continued to stare penetratingly into his eyes. "How far did you go ... with him?"
He could not help it – his cheeks colored even more.
"Oh my god." Her eyes sparkled. "Wait – how did you...?"
"Hermione." His voice was plaintive.
His friend let out a soft yelp and pressed her hands to her flaming cheeks. "Harry!"
"Please don't tell Ron."
"Of course I won't tell," she said firmly, "but that love bite is quite obvious if you're not careful. The others may take a while to find out about who'd given you that but not the twins, or Remus ... or Tonks."
"I'll use a charm," he muttered.
As he walked back to Severus' room, he wondered if he should tell Hermione that the spells holding Severus immobile were weakening. He was quite deep in thought that he had not realized that Hedwig was flying toward him. A greeting call brought him to his senses and he belatedly held his arm out for her. "Hedwig, what brings you here?" She bit at the hem of his sleeve and started tugging at it. Harry looked at her askance, and uncertainly entered the room with her on his arm.
Hedwig had previously avoided this room, even though her perch was kept inside it. So why was she indicating to Harry, with the slight tugs, that she wanted to go near Severus? Seeing the other man recoil at the sight of her, he paused. It was clear to him that Severus had not forgotten how Buckbeak had attacked him with those deadly talons. Half afraid that his own owl would cause harm to the one he cared about, he pressed the palm of his hand on her chest. Hedwig hooted at him, somehow managing to sound indignant. She nipped softly at his hand. Then she swiveled her head in a fashion that only owls were capable of and stared at Severus with her ochre-colored eyes.
Severus' dark eyes watched her warily.
"I don't know what she wants," he told the Potions master.
Hedwig suddenly swooped down without warning. Harry gasped and unthinkingly, he stumbled toward Severus. He felt his heart stop when she kicked at Severus' hands, which were held up protectively over his head. Then, as though it was normal for an owl, she screamed a greeting and settled on Severus' shoulder. She tucked in her wings, and stared at Harry nonchalantly.
"Hedwig!" he exclaimed in fright. "Don't do that!" he scolded. "Severus?" He caressed the wizard's white face. "Are you all right?"
Severus answered him with a menacing glare.
"I'm sorry. I really am," he apologized with feeling. "I'm sorry." Not caring that the door was open and anyone might decide to peek in, he stooped a little and placed a kiss on Severus' left temple. When he withdrew, Severus did not look as severe as he did several seconds ago.
It took Harry some time to get Hedwig to leave Severus' shoulder. Since she did not fall for her usual tidbits, he actually had to present her with a live mouse. Hedwig had good manners, and had taken the gift outside to eat it. He sighed with relief when she flew off and shut the door quietly. Not wanting to be disturbed, he charmed the door for privacy. He went into the bathroom to wash his hands, and when he came out, he headed straight for the bed and sat down near Severus.
"You are staying here for the whole day?" Severus asked somewhat sarcastically.
"I think so. Hermione did say I can get more sleep."
"All you are doing is wasting your time," Severus said gravely. "You would be better off practicing spells." His stared deeply into Harry's emerald eyes. "My book is a treasure of new spells ... am I correct to assume so?"
Harry winced guiltily.
"Fortunately for you, brat, neither the Dark Lord or the other Death Eaters had witnessed me performing those experimental spells when I used to be one of them."
His heart hurt suddenly. Harry dropped his gaze and looked at his hands. "Severus, the way you created those spells ... how did you ... test them out?"
"The very same way you had."
Harry's head snapped up. The younger man gritted his teeth, suddenly overwhelmed with remorse. Severus touched his cheek. His hand moved to stroke Harry's hair, before pulling him close. Too surprised to pull away, he simply rested his head against Severus' shoulder.
"I have only cast those spells once in my life."
Hesitant hands came to wrap around his body, and Harry responded by pressing himself more against Severus. His lover resumed stroking his hair comfortingly. Though it was quite a contradictory behavior – Severus had hinted that he should go and do something useful – Harry did not point it out, and relaxed into the embrace.
"Severus, why did you do it?" Harry whispered.
The older wizard was quiet for a long time. When Harry was about to give up, almost believing that Severus was not going to tell him, he spoke.
"It was a mistake," Severus' voice, though quiet, was harsh with barely suppressed emotion. "He should not have pursued it – the Horcrux business. I had tried to warn him – he would not listen. All of his injuries, which were apparent when school had resumed, were because of the traps that we had set."
We? Traps? "For who, Severus?" Harry demanded, remembering the peculiar note he had attained on the night of Dumbledore's death.
"The Dark Lord. All were to ensure that he would be turned into a mortal."
"What?" Harry could not believe his ears.
"Regulus Black ... loved ... looked up to his brother. Those were the ways he had tried to make up to Sirius Black. Do you know why I'd hated your godfather? The man was blind to his brother's efforts, that selfish idiot. He had only done it to help him. But I am not answering your question, am I? Why had he called for me?" Severus tightened his hold on Harry, but Harry scarcely noticed the pressure. "He had hoped ... the Headmaster had hoped that I had the antidote for the potion that he had drunk. But there was no antidote. He knew, when I did not speak. Why had I used the Killing curse? I am under oath – not just by Narcissa's Unbreakable Oath, but Lucius' as well. I cannot allow Draco to fall as low as we had. Brutal as it might have been, it was a way for Draco to escape. Professor Dumbledore commanded me to it."
"Commanded?" Harry's voice shook with anger. Professor Dumbledore had not done such thing – at least not in his memory.
"I had been under his tutelage for many years, Harry. Sometimes, the eyes can tell you more things than any spoken word. This is one of the many reasons why the Dark Lord distrusts me."
Silent tears fell. Harry could not tell if those were his, or Severus'.
"What made you work against Vo–"
"Do not speak his name," Severus whispered.
"What ... made you betray him?"
Severus lifted his face and they stared at each other.
"I cannot say," Severus said finally. Pain and anger showed in his eyes, but he only let Harry see them for several seconds. The man closed his eyes and looked away. Still, the rigid expression on his face told Harry that he was suffering from emotional pain.
-oOOoOOo-
