Feel like I've lost a lot of you. Moving away from the danger/action/hurt thing to concentrate on relationship. Hope I'm not boring anyone.


"Hey."

He squinted up at her in the bright sunlight. "Hey luv."

"You know you have Emily really worried."

Cal let out a sigh. "Damn. I'd meant to call her but got…distracted."

Sitting down on his left, Gillian followed his gaze. They sat in silence for a few moments as both took in all the damage from the fire. It wasn't a complete loss but it would months before it would be livable again.

"Would it do any good if I berated you for leaving the hospital too early?"

"Nope." He'd checked himself out that morning. A good chunk of his body was tender, which he could deal with but his right arm still hurt like a bitch. It probably would for the next couple of months, so it didn't matter where he was.

"Didn't think so." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

Cal had built a BBQ pit in the back yard a few years back and had arranged several park benches around it. Mostly Emily used it with her friends but now Cal and Gillian sat together, quietly staring at what was left of his home.

"You going to be okay?" Gill's voice was quiet.

He took a deep breath, inhaling her scent, finding it calming. "Just things Gillian."

"It's more than that."

Leaning his cheek against her head he felt their fingers interweave and wasn't quite sure who initiated it. "At least they caught the little bastards." His voice was heavy as he said it and she could tell he accepted some of the responsibility.

"You were just doing what we do Cal. Unfortunately we hit raw nerves all the time."

"This raw nerve almost got my daughter killed."

There was nothing she could say to that, so she didn't even try.

"Maybe it would be better to hang it all up and teach."

Gillian tried to envision it but couldn't quite do it. "Cal Lightman verses hundreds of college students?"

Cal was quiet for a moment. "And one sociopath."

Cringing, she couldn't comment.

"Fair point though," he acknowledged, letting out a breath.

There was something she wanted to ask him but she had no idea how he'd react. The thought of it put her on edge but there was no way to approach it subtly.

"Something on your mind Gill?"

God, she hated when he did that. "Why do you ask?"

"Seem a little tense."

"Of course I'm tense. We're sitting here staring at your gutted house knowing that things could have gone a lot worse." Her voice caught as she felt the sting of tears. A lot worse. He and Emily could be dead.

She felt his fingers tighten in her own as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. "Didn't happen though."

His mind kept replaying that night and it was true. If Emily hadn't lured him into the kitchen, they would have been at point zero. The Molotov had hit right in front of the couch. They wouldn't have had a chance. Inadvertently a shudder ran through him.

Gillian lifted her head and looked directly at him before raising a hand and gently touching his face. She decided to come right out with it. "I wanted to ask you something Cal."

"Yeah luv?"

He looked tired and in pain and she thought it would be best if she could get him away from here. "Do you know where you're going to stay?"

Cal looked at her and then past her. To be honest, he hadn't even though about it even though it should have been a priority. "Uh, hotel for now. Maybe rent somethin' nearby. Want to be close to supervise renovation."

Nodding, she took her lower lip between her teeth for a moment before coming right out with it. "How would you feel about staying with me?"

He went quiet to the point of where she wasn't sure if he'd even heard her. The gaze continued past her to something inward, something she couldn't be privy to. "Is that a good idea?" Cal's voice was so soft that she barely heard him, but the tone held nothing but fear. His running away voice again.

No. She wasn't going to do this again. Damn him.

Pulling herself straight up, the hand on his face became firm and was quickly joined by her other one as she insisted he meet her eyes. "Yes, I do think it's a good idea. And I'll tell you why. We have spent years staying behind our self-imposed lines, years denying feelings that I know you have too and I am bloody sick of it! You know something? Neither one of us is getting any younger and there's going to be a time when we're both going to wake up and realize that it's too damned late and I, for one, do not want that to happen. I do not want to wake up all old and shriveled and find that the one man I wanted I couldn't have because he and I were both completely chicken shit!"

Cal's mouth dropped open as his whole face went slack.

"This is what I want and I will not accept 'no' as an answer. You got that?" She gave his head a little shake. "We're going to go now and you're lucky that I don't just turn right around and take you back to the hospital." She had a sudden thought. "Or would you rather go back to the hospital? It's your choice."

She watched as his face lost its slack and went through a myriad of emotions: anger, sadness, annoyance, amusement and then it just eased into fatigue. He didn't have the energy to fight. He didn't have to say anything. She knew she'd won, for now.

(BREAK)

When they got back to her place, she took it upon herself to search through his bag to find his pain medication. Whether he'd admit it or not, she knew he needed them. She came back to the guest bedroom to find him staring at her, his expression soft but a little confused.

"What?" Gillian handed him the two oblong pills and glass of water she'd brought which he took them without argument.

"Don't know why you'd do this."

"I think you do."

"You're a glutton for punishment."

"Maybe, but I see you. I see the wonderful man you are despite your many faults."

"Didn't have to emphasize the 'many' part."

"I thought we were supposed to speak the truth."

Cal's only response was a noncommittal grunt.

"Get some rest. I'll give Em a quick call to let her know you're okay." Gillian turned to leave before she heard his low voice speak her name. She turned back to him expectantly.

"Thanks darlin'."

Smiling, she paused a moment to watch as his eyes closed before she pulled the door shut behind her.


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