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Young Sesshoumaru's Past

"Inu yasha's mother, that's why." Kagome said quietly as she looked at Brianna with a grave look on her pale face. It made sense really, she'd never really thought about Sesshoumaru's former deep hatred for Inu yasha and Inu yasha's mother but then again she hadn't looked at it from Sesshoumaru's point of view. When you really thought about it though, everything made a sad sort of sense. She'd always thought it was being related to a half demon that Sesshoumaru hated so much but maybe it wasn't that, maybe it had been the fact that Inu yasha was a living reminder of the fact that their father had cheated on Sesshoumaru's mother, had loved another. After all how would she feel if her father had cheated on her mother and they'd had a daughter together? She'd likely have hated her father for hurting them all that way and she'd probably hate the woman he was cheating with, likely the daughter too even though it wouldn't have been her fault. It would be like she and her mother and Sota weren't good enough, that her father had gone off looking for better and even though that likely wouldn't have been the case it might have seemed like that. Because he was suppose to be theirs but instead had gone off to be with someone elses. And how much of her life would he have missed while he was off with his other family, how neglected and second place would she have felt in comparison?

Sesshoumaru had so much pride and what kind of a blow must it have been to learn that the man he admired most, his own father wasn't being honorable or truthful? Miyoga had said that the former Lord of the West had loved Inu yasha's mother a great deal but that was no excuse, he'd had a mate and should have been loyal to her and Sesshoumaru instead of taking a human mistress. Of course the affair had given her Inu yasha so Kagome didn't wish it had never happened but she couldn't help but feel sorry for Sesshoumaru which was a rare thing indeed since one of the last feelings Sesshoumaru caused in others was pity. He'd likely been no more then a boy when he'd found out and Sesshoumaru's mother..what had she been like? Brianna made her sound a lot like the old Sesshoumaru and if she had been like that then it was no wonder Sesshoumaru had behaved as he had with that kind of influence. While his father had been with Inu yasha's mom and looking over his lands his mate had been teaching her son to hate the humans who'd likely caused her a lot of pain too. Kagome couldn't even begin to imagine how painful that must be but she'd definitely be bitter and angry that was for sure. Even if it hadn't been a love match she must have felt something for her mate and to have him betray her like that, especially with someone the demoness had likely been taught to view as a lesser being..."Poor Sesshoumaru."


"He never really stood a chance even though I did what I could to reinforce that humans weren't the evil creatures his mother said they were." Brianna said as she continued her story, not even aware that her hands were starting to turn into fists and that their was the beginnings of strain in her voice. " She was never an easy or warm natured demoness from what I know but once she found out about the affair any warmth she had in her seemed to vanish over night till there was nothing but a vicious and bitter demoness in her place. After that it was all about honor, loyalty to your race and hatred against those who weren't of pure blood. Suddenly everything that wasn't what they were was evil, wicked and out to get you as soon as your back was turned. She tried to kill me countless times but of course it wasn't possible so she'd try to set her mate on me, saying that I was trying to harm Sesshoumaru. That I was an evil creature. He didn't even think to question her on it, probably did it to appease some of his guilt but of course he was no more successful then her. Sesshoumaru tried to protect me, tried to make them see that I wasn't evil but of course his mother thought I was just like her mate's mistress and he..I don't really know, perhaps he was trying to really protect Sesshoumaru from me." Brianna said with a faint smirk, remembering how she'd frustrated the two mighty demons to no end with her refusal to die. It had certainly frustrated her not to be able to kill them, particularly the mother who was hurting her Sesshoumaru. "They tried to keep Sesshoumaru away from me but neither of us were about to let that happen and we became quite skilled at getting around them. It wasn't so hard really since the cheating father was never at the keep for long and the bitch preferred to spend her time stewing in her bitterness and plotting ways to turn Sesshoumaru into a monster. Then of course the demons came and slaughtered everyone in the keep and everyone with a connection to Sesshoumaru's father. The only two they missed of course were Sesshoumaru and Inu yasha, misses that would cost them dearly in the end."


Her eyes going vacant for a moment Brianna was back to that day when she had went with Sesshoumaru out on an errand. They'd arranged to meet away from the keep and she'd gone with him on that beautiful spring day, enjoying his company as they'd discussed this and that or not at all, comfortable in each other's company. That day they'd been walking through the woods when Sesshoumaru had almost tripped over a large uprooted tree root, she had grabbed his wrist to pull him back before he could go face first into the dirt. Too undignified for the future Lord of the West she'd joked. She'd loosened her hold on his wrist once he was steady and had been about to let him go when he'd taken her hand in his. She'd looked up at him in surprise but he hadn't looked back, tugging her along while making comments about the weak human slowing him down from the chore his mother had given him though she'd seen the hint of color on his pale neck. She'd held his hand as a child sometimes but once he'd become a young man they'd stopped, there was just too much meaning behind it. A tension neither would admit to really, but every once in a while they would forget and link hands or she'd kiss him on the cheek as she once had to show him the affection his parents seemed incapable of giving him. A premonition of just how much he'd come to mean to her perhaps but it had never been given a chance really because that day had changed everything, separating them forever.

"Sesshoumaru had been sent out on an errand to track and kill some weasel demons who were causing problems and so we were away from the keep when it was attacked and Inu yasha's mother hid him from harm. When we got back we found bodies and blood everywhere, a mindless slaughter that rivaled any battle field I had ever seen. Sesshoumaru's mother was dead, torn to pieces but that only strengthened her hold on Sesshoumaru because he hadn't been there to protect her so it was his duty to be the demon she'd wanted him to be. So he went off to hunt the demons who had destroyed his family and home. We went to the home of Inu yasha and his mother first thinking we could perhaps find the demons there as his father was not at the keep when it happened. First we found him dead, then Inu yasha's mother and finally we found Inu yasha, still alive. Sesshoumaru had only seen the boy from a distance before while I knew Inu yasha from having interacted with him in the past. Once I found out about the affair I made it my business to look into the people causing my..Sesshoumaru so much pain. He was so cute with his little ears and eyes so much like Sesshoumaru's."

"I'll bet." Kagome said then placed her hand over her mouth again, realizing that this was the second time she'd spoken when she wasn't supposed to. It was getting really hard because the more Brianna told the more questions she had but couldn't ask. Like had Sesshoumaru's mother known about Inu yasha and why she had never confronted Inu yasha's mother. After all Inu yasha's mother would have never stood a chance but perhaps the demoness had feared her husband's wrath too much to dare. And she wanted to ask about how Brianna felt about Sesshoumaru because the more she listened to Brianna the more she sensed that there was something more then just plain affection. But she couldn't ask either of those or any of the others. "Gomen." Kagome said weakly and hoped she hadn't lost her story teller yet. "I keep forgetting, I have so many questions to ask you and I'm just dying to ask them but I know I can't. I'm sorry for interrupting, please continue."


"That won't be answered by me." Brianna said with a hint of a smile, as though she enjoyed the idea of making Kagome suffer by refusing to answer any of the girl's questions. "Anyway we sent Inu yasha back into hiding and Sesshoumaru ordered me to stay with Inu yasha, I hadn't told him the exact circumstances of my curse but he did know that something bad would happen if I took a demon life. But-I couldn't allow him to face such danger without me and so after being assured of Inu yasha's safety I went after him, he was too angry and filled with rage to hide his tracks properly. When I arrived he was already in battle, horribly out numbered but his rage had given his the strength not to feel any wound or blow so intent was he on destroying them. Word had spread of the foul deed as well as those loyal to the Sesshoumaru's clan came to his aid so that the murders became the murdered. But one managed to gang up on Sesshoumaru from behind while he was fighting against three others, there was no way he could avoid the blow and I was too far away to protect his back. There was only one thing I could do and so I used the blade I had been simply wounding with and threw it through the black heart of the beast. Sesshoumaru knew that something would happen and tried to get to me but I was fading away into nothing and was gone before he got close enough to touch. I resided in darkness for what seemed like an eternity then before being reborn here, in this time with all my memories still in tact. I don't know why it happened, perhaps the demon who casted the curse took pity on me or thought that this would be a greater punishment then Hell." Brianna said with a wry smirk. "I don't know really, will likely never know. And now you have your answer and its time for you to go."

"I...thank you." Kagome said biting back everything she wanted to say and ask. Obviously now wasn't the time to ask it and she didn't think she'd get any answers even if she bothered to ask them. Bowing her thanks for the talk Kagome left the room and down the hallway towards home and in the morning back to Inu yasha. Brianna meanwhile stayed on her bed and wished that she could return to the Feudal Era with Kagome, back to her old world and to Sesshoumaru where she belonged.


The next morning

Passing in front of the well since he'd arrived Inu yasha was getting more and more nervous by the moment. Logically he knew that there was nothing to worry about but he just couldn't help it, what if something happened to her over there? What if they realized that her Halloween costume hadn't been a costume at all and had taken her away to some terrible place to do gods only know what to her. Or if that woman claiming to be Brianna really wasn't Brianna and had lured Kagome to her for some dark purpose ? And he was being a baka, Inu yasha said as he sat down on the grass, leaning his back against the well as he stared up at the sky. Ever since she'd become his mate it was as if he couldn't stand not to have her in his sight, he wanted her with him always where he could protect her, his heart. Hearing something he quickly got to his feet and turned just in time to see a small and seemingly delicate hand grasp the edge on the well. Reaching out Inu yasha grabbed Kagome's wrist and helped her out, drawing her close into a welcome home kiss that soothed away all his worries and made him feel in control and in sync again. "Kagome." Inu yasha said simply as he nuzzled her neck for a moment before drawing back to look into her eyes, frowning at the redness he saw there, like she'd been crying. "What's wrong."

"I'm so lucky to have you." Kagome said simple moving closer, snuggling against him with a hold around his waist that suggested she had no intention of letting him go any time soon. Scowling with worry now Inu yasha held her just as tightly and forced himself to let her tell him at her own pace which was more annoying then listening to Shippou talk for several hours straight. Leaning her head on Inu yasha's shoulder Kagome closed her eyes and inhaled her mate's scent, letting it calm her. How would it feel not to be able to do this, to know he was out there somewhere but not be able to reach him, hold him and be with him? Perhaps the demon who'd cursed Brianna had really sent her to hell since a life without the person you loved most would be worse then any Hell Kagome could think of. "I found Brianna and I'm pretty sure it's her, oh Inu yasha it's no wonder Sesshoumaru was and is the way he is. I never bothered to see things from his point of view before but he must have suffered so much."

"What do you mean?" Inu yasha asked as he continued to hold her close, stroking his clawed hand through her hair while she spoke, wondering what on earth the other woman had said to make Kagome so concerned about his brother who she'd never really gotten along with at all. Not to say he did either but sometimes he got the feeling his brother got along better with Kagome then with himself. "What did Brianna say to you?"

"She told me about how she ended up cursed and watching over Sesshoumaru before she was banished to be born again in my world." Kagome said quietly, nuzzling closer to Inu yasha's neck, feeling the need to show more affection then normal. "I know how hard it was for you as a child to be a half demon here, not belonging in the demon world or the human world but I never stopped to think about what Sesshoumaru's childhood must have been like. I never thought what it must have been like for him with a father who was never around because he had another family and a mother who was being cheated on and had an extreme hatred of humans that only grew with time. Brianna said that his mother took her bitterness out on Sesshoumaru and did everything she could to make Sesshoumaru hate them, his father never even interfering with the teachings. I always blamed him for his actions but if you grow up being taught to think a certain way then can you really blame him for believing what he believes? And to learn that his father preferred to spend his time with your mother instead of him, that must have hurt him so much. He didn't really have anyone who cared but Brianna and when she was gone, on the same day he lost the rest of his family..he was all alone with no one at all. No one to comfort him or even show any feeling towards him that he needed."


"Yeah, I never really thought about it that way before." Inu yasha said in surprise having never really bothered to look deeper then the surface of his brother's actions. He'd simple assumed it was the fact that they shared blood and that his was tainted that caused Sesshoumaru's deep hatred but the way Kagome put it, that really wasn't it at all. A part of it perhaps but at the core it was all about their father and how their father had treated them. Their father had preferred his mother's presence and in doing so had neglected his real family, Sesshoumaru and his mother, their father's mate. He didn't remember their father really except from what his mother had told him but Sesshoumaru would, just as his older brother would remember finding out about the affair and that their father wasn't the perfect demon he had thought him to be. Not to mention the fact that if Sesshoumaru's mother had been anything like the Sesshoumaru Inu yasha knew it was no wonder that his brother had turned out so hard and full of darkness. "It looks like our father has a lot to answer for as yet. Some how though I get the feeling trying to be his brother would result in me being in need of medical attention after."