Chapter 12: The Turn Down

Harry walked down the hall, happy to be back at Hogwarts. Christmas with the Weasley's was like it was when he was a teenager, except for the spouses. Ginny came with Krum and both were welcome after the long year apart. Molly had invited Oliver and his daughter over to try and cheer him up, continuously saying that Ron would find Katie and glaring at Ron to agree.

Ginny was ecstatic on seeing Harry again and Harry mostly talked to Krum. They spoke through the night over Quidditch tactics andRon and George would join in. Ginny sometimes spoke up a suggestion but mostly talked with Hermione and Molly, both admiring Ginny's large belly.

Unfortunately Ron couldn't find a more evidence on who had taken Katie. Harry gave as much advice as he could on Muggle investigations but even that didn't get far. Ginny offered to stay and help with Olivia Katelyn and the Krum's moved into the Wood's Cottage.

"Professor James!"

Harry turned and smiled as Teddy ran toward him, still in casual clothes. From the look on the bag on his godson's shoulders, he had just come back from home.

"Hello, Teddy," said Harry smiling at him. "How was your holiday?"

"Great," said Teddy. "My godfather came to visit and even stayed past New Years. He's never done that before!"

"That's great, Teddy. That must have been a real surprise."

"It was. I wonder why he stayed longer."

"Maybe he had more time on his hands," said Harry still smiling. Harry did have more time on his hands that vacations since no one in the media was looking for him anymore. Harry could actually spend the whole Christmas vacation with the adopted family.

"I hope he had more," said Teddy almost sadly.

"Teddy, what's wrong," asked Harry crouching down to Teddy's eye level.

"My godfather had this friend, and she's not doing too good. Nothing magical or Muggle can help her."

"And you're worried in how your godfather would take it," said Harry forcing himself to stay calm about it. Teddy nodded. "All I can tell you is to be there for him. When a person goes through tough times, he or she needs family."

"Like Grams with me," said Teddy and Harry nodded.

"Just like that," said Harry and gently patted Teddy one the shoulder. "Go and unpack. I'll see you at dinner."

"Okay!" said Teddy and ran off toward the dormitories. Harry smiled at him and walked down the hall.

When Teddy mentioned Mary Harry had to keep from blurting out that he knew about her illness. He hated being reminded about it. When he just learned that Mary had leukemia he tried everything he could to make her well again, but nothing magical helped and Mary had not family so no possibility of a donor. All they could do was wait. Harry hated waiting.

Harry was a lot more worried about Jamie. With Mary gone he was more then likely put in a Muggle foster home. Harry knew foster care was tough, but he also knew it was worse with the Dursleys. And when his Hogwarts letter came, how do you explain a boarding school to your foster parents? Summer would be hard too. All the stuff he learned and no one to share it with. Harry knew what that was like.

Still in thought he turned a corner, and ran into a solid object. Book and papers flew everywhere. It took a moment for Harry to realize he had ran into a person.

"I'm so sorry," said the person.

"No, it's my fault," said Harry and looked up into stormy grey eyes. "Oh, hi Draco."

"Hello, Black," said Draco struggling to picked his books. "How was your Christmas?"

"For the thousandth time, Draco, call me James," said Harry. "Calling me by my last name make is sound like you don't like me. And my Christmas was fine, than you for asking. How was yours?"

"Eventful," said Draco . Harry picked up one of the books on the floor and read the cover.

"A Muggle physiology book? Why do you have this?"

"Research," said Draco quickly taking the book back. "On the human mind. Muggles have interesting insights."

"They certainly do," said Harry handing him the last book. "You have fun researching."

"And you watch where you're going" said Draco with a smile. Harry smiled back.

"I certainly will, unless I bump into you again."

"Hilarious," said Draco almost annoyed, but Harry could hear a bit of something else behind it. Draco walk past Harry and Harry walk down the hall. He had only walked a few steps when he stopped and turned back to Draco.

"Doyouwanttohaveadrinkwithme?"

A flash of Cho and the Yule Ball came to Harry's mind and Harry groaned. He was never good at asking people to talk to him alone. He'd be harder on himself if Draco didn't understood what he said.

"I'll have to think about it," he said and Harry looked at him in surprise. "You did ask me for a drink right?"

"Y-Yeah," said Harry, a bit relieved.

"Will it be like last time?"

That made Harry a bit nervous. "Actually, I was thinking this time would be a bit more…uh…"

"Intimate?" suggested Draco.

"I was going to go for "personal"," said Harry with a small smile. Draco smiled back.

"I still have to think about it," said Draco and walked down the hall. Harry continued to smile till Draco was out of sight.

He had just been politely blown off. Not that Harry blamed him. He had blurted out words so fast a person would have had to have subtitles to find out what he said. He really needed work on his dating skills. After ten years a person would have thought they would have improved.

Sighing Harry walked down the hall, and without knocking, walked into Hermione's chambers and went to her liquor cabinet.

"Either you just ran into an extremely annoying student or you did something extremely stupid," said Hermione from her chair, a book on her lap as usual.

"If I didn't say anything, would you refrain from asking the questions again," asked Harry grabbing the first bottle he saw and a glass.

"No," said Hermione snapping her book shit and standing with her arms crosses. "Spill."

"I asked Draco Malfoy on a date," said Harry taking a long sip. Whiskey, just what he needed.

Hermione's eyes went wide at the mention of "asked", "Draco Malfoy" and "date". "Oh, no you didn't…"

"Yep. Blurted it out faster then I thought it. What's my problem with asking people out?"

"What did he say?"

"That he'd think about it," said Harry with a scuff. "He politely blew me off."

"You don't know that," sad Hermione. "He could say yes."

"Better if he didn't." Harry set the glass down and walked to the fireplace. "Too many secrets."

"That's never stopped you before…"

"Yeah, but they didn't know I was Harry Potter. It was easier to keep the lie intact. They didn't know me."

"And what's the difference with Malfoy?"

Harry paused before answering. "I can be myself around him. I'm not afraid to play Quidditch, tell bad jokes or talk about my personal life."

"Obscure as they are," said Hermione.

"The point is, around Draco I'm not afraid to be me."

"And that's bad how?"

"Draco knows me. Me as in Harry Potter. The slightest change of tone or gesture will set him off. And if it gets too intimate he'll figure out the truth."

"That's a problem," said Hermione. " And I know another one. You're already too close to him."

"What do you mean?" asked Harry.

"You stopped calling him Malfoy, and started calling him Draco."

Harry groaned.

A couple hours later a half drunk Harry walked out of Hermione's chambers. The realization he had gotten that close to Draco had hit him hard and he had half a mind on getting so drunk he spend half the next day with a hangover. But Hermione reminded him that he did have classes the next day so he settle for half drunk.

He stumbled up the stairs and just had time to grab something on the landing before he fell down the stair case. It took him a moment to realize what he grabbed had actually grabbed him.

"Careful there, James. You don't want any broken bones."

"Let go of my hand, Harding," said Harry groggily.

"Can I get you steady on your feet first?"

"I am steady. Let go of m hand please." And Harry shook Harding off and walked down the hall.

"Are you drunk?" asked Harding following him.

"Only half. Leave me alone."

"Why? I just wanted to ask you something." Harding gave him a slight smile. A shiver went down Harry's spine at the sight of it.

"All right, what do you want?" Harry turned to Harding and crossed his arms in annoyance. He really wanted to get back to his chambers and sleep.

"I was wondering if you'd have a drink with me," asked Harding still smiling.

"I don't think so," said Harry turning away. Harding went back to following him.

"It took longer for Malfoy to answer when you asked him."

Harry turned and looked at Harding with shocked surprise. "Have you been following me?"

"Well, it is a small castle," said Harding with a chuckle.

"Yeah, believable." Harry turned to continue down the hall. He wince he heard footsteps walk after him.

"So are you going to change your answer?" asked Harding.

"No."

"It didn't take you long to ask Malfoy out. Maybe if I ask him…."

"That won't be necessary," hissed Harry turned back to Harding, his green eyes flashing with anger.

Harding just smiled.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve," he asked. "Have a drink with me. Who would it kill?"

Harry continued to glare at him. He wanted to say no, to believe that Draco didn't mean anything to him, but he couldn't.

"Very well," he said. "One drink."

Harding smiled, a bit too triumphantly for Harry's liking, turned around and walked down the hall. Harry watched him go and wished he was anywhere else but there.

xxxxxxxxxxx

"He asked you out?" said Pansy in shock, her hands falling to her slim waist. Draco was again amazed at how she lost her weight in the seventh year and managed to keep it.

"Just for a drink," said Draco.

"He said it was "personal", but he didn't reject your suggestion of "intimate", there fore it's a date."

"How can you get all of that from one conversation," asked Draco in confusion. This was why he stopped dating girls after Pansy. He just didn't understand the way they thought.

"I'm a girl. We love the drama. And romance, and suspense and angst…"

"Okay. All right. I get it, you like the emotional mush stuff."

"You bet your knickers I do," said Pansy with a smile. "So what did you say after he asked you?"

"ThatIwouldthinkaboutit," said Draco quickly with his teacup up to his mouth.

"You what?" Pansy's shriek was so loud Draco winced when he heard it..

"I said that I…."

"Yeah, I heard what you said," said Pansy waving him off. Draco was amazed she had actually understood him.

'Maybe this was how Blaise felt when he fast-talked' thought Draco.

"What I want to know is why you didn't answer?"

"You know why, Pansy." Draco gave her a stern look. Pansy waved him off again.

"Oh, that old talk. As Hagrid say, codswollap." She gave Draco a sterner look then the one he was giving her. "Just because you wish to be the last Malfoy doesn't mean you can't enjoy what life gives you. And as the Muggle's say; If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."

"Where did you hear that?"

"Granger," said Pansy with a smile. "Blaise was right. She is a walking library of random information."

"That certainly sums her up," said Draco.

"You just want to stay miserable," said Pansy pointing at him. "You think that just because you're Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius Malfoy and almost committed the murder of Albus Dumbledore, you should not be allowed any happiness at all."

"It's better this way," said Draco. "If I don't get close to anyone then they won't get hurt. Better to lock my emotion then deal with them."

SLAP

Draco's cheek stung from the force of Pansy's slap. He looked over to see her angry face and her eyes filling with tears.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, you are such a bastard!" she yelled hitting Draco as she spoke. "How did you get this way? I thought you were a Malfoy, and that Malfoys weren't quitters! Whatever happened to that seventeen year old boy that had a plan for the future?"

"A war happened," said Draco. "I almost lost all that I get cared about. I can't afford to feel that way again."

"So you decided to lock your feelings away? Damn it Draco, you're not a robot!"

"A what?" asked Draco in confusion.

"Ask Granger!"

And she stomped out. Draco watched as she walked out of the room and slammed the door. He knew why Pansy was upset. Her and Blaise were tired to Draco believing he was better off alone, only taking in lovers when it suits him. But Draco was a cautious man. He never liked going into anything without knowing even the smallest bit of information, that includes relationships.

Walking to the desk he took out a piece of paper and began writing the things he knew about James Black.

Mother's a Muggle-born. Father's a pure-blood. Both died when he was baby.

Draco paused as he wrote this. Almost fifty percent of the wizarding community were Muggle-born. Twenty were half-blood, and the rest were pure-blood. So the pure-bloods weren't exactly over-powering the Muggle-borns. Draco had to look it up, and was appalled that his father made a big deal out of it. Most of the Muggle-borns return to the world they left behind, but those that did stay tried to integrate themselves in the Wizarding world. Hermione Granger was an example, in a way. She like the magical community, but also taught students the facts on the Muggle world.

Philosophical, oversleeps, flirtatious, kind but stern, shows no favoritism, grew up with relations for sixteen years, not married, travels the world….

This didn't help him much. A lot of wizards went around the world when they're on their own. But the fact that he grew up with relations and didn't call them family confused Draco. Family loyalty was everything to a wizard.

Familiar with Theodore Lupin, loves Quidditch, played Seeker in school, owns a Firebolt, sings, visits friends on weekend, likes to do things the Muggle way….

Draco didn't see anything wrong with those. Quidditch was the most loved sport in the world, but the Firebolt he rode was too familiar. And the way he looked at young Lupin was like a father or an uncle would look at a boy.

Goes by many aliases, works odd-jobs, had abusive past(?)….

Draco wasn't really sure about the last one, but it was true it was a good reason for anyone to keep a low profile. When the Dark Lord was tormenting him, Draco never spoke to his friends about what had happened through they've asked may times.

Draco set the pen down and leaned back in his chair to think. Trying to figure out James Black was like playing chess. You never know what move your opponent will make next. It was interesting to say the least and Draco did like a challenge, but after a while it would give a person a mighty headache. Draco was sure if he was up for the challenge.

Draco remembered his reason for choosing men over women, men could not get pregnant and continue the family line. After Lucius was committed for being a Death Eater he Malfoy name had been scorned and Lucius' wand hand been broken. Without magic, Lucius couldn't rid himself f the depression that fell upon him and killed himself, but the damage had already been done. Without the next Malfoy heir, the Malfoy's would disappear and the dishonor forgotten.

As he did Draco remembered the time he had spent with James Black. He actually had fun, far more then from previous engagements. Draco remembered how he felt when he flew with Black, the pure adrenaline and ecstasy that he got whenever he flew past to catch the Snitch. Draco had not felt that since his school days, racing Potter in an effort to win a Quidditch game. It was so similar that Draco thought he had seen Harry Potter in Black's eyes as he rode his Firebolt.

"Who is he?" he asked himself. "Who is James Black?"

TBC