A/N- Thanks to everyone for the reviews, I'm so happy people are enjoying this story : ) for some reason this chapter was really hard to write but I think it turned out okay in the end. As always please let me know what you think, all comments and criticisms welcome!

Chapter Twelve

Emily had been stood outside the library for the last ten minutes and checking her watch for what was probably the tenth time in a minute, she exhaled loudly as the hands ticked round and pointed firmly to 4.50pm. She was late.

Looking around the redhead noticed that most of the students had long since gone and normally she would have been one of the hundreds bolting for the exit as soon as the bell went, but not today. Today she had to face Naomi. Slowly pushing her way through the doors she entered the quiet building not sure whether she hoped the blonde would be there or not. In truth the redhead didn't really know what to expect from Naomi, she'd played so many mind games already that the redhead couldn't help wonder if the blonde hadn't simply changed her mind since this morning and not turned up at all.

Walking past the empty rows of computers Emily found the quiet inside the college's library strangely comforting, a reliable atmosphere that seemed to say maybe some things do stay constant.

Tucking a stray hair behind her ear Emily headed for the back of the library, knowing that's where she would find the blonde. As she approached one of the tables isolated in the corner she spotted the other girl. With her back against the twin she looked deep in concentration, books spread studiously before her, only someone who knew her well could tell otherwise and would spot her nervous gestures.

Emily stood feet planted to the floor as she watched the blonde fidgeting in the hard plastic chair, and could help but smile as Naomi kicked off her shoes so she could get more comfortable, one of the blondes many adorable habits that Emily had discovered in their short time together.

Taking a deep, calming breath Emily approached the table and clearing her throat let out a small whisper 'Hey'

'Hey…I thought you might have changed you're mind…' Naomi smiled apprehensively as she spun round in her seat to greet Emily.

Emily shook her head and throwing her bag to the floor she slumped into the seat opposite the blonde. Picking up one of the books she managed to avoid looking at the other girl as she pretended to be engrossed in the text even as the words blurred together.

Sinking into an awkward silence the two girls flicked through the books on the table, Emily noticed Naomi occasionally making a quick note but found herself unable to concentrate. Stealing glances at the blonde she couldn't fail to notice one of the bracelets jingling around with the many others Naomi wore, it was a cheap friendship bracelet Emily had won at the arcade and given to the blonde. It made her smile to realise that at least a part of her was still with Naomi, that maybe she was still in her heart.

The only sound in the room was the clock ticking by, counting the wasted moments, and the redhead wished this could be easier. That she could forget how much she was in love with the blonde opposite her, that she could forget the pain and arguments and let the past lie. She had been telling the truth earlier when she had told Naomi she had missed her. Emily liked just spending time with the other girl, away from everyone else she could be the person she wanted without anyone judging her and since she'd cut Naomi from her life she just felt alone and lost. Even with Effy, and now Katie, around there was a gap in her life, an emptiness that only Naomi could fill, and being here with her was only making it harder to remember why they couldn't be together, even if it was only as friends.

Trying to silence her racing thoughts the redhead focused on the words in front of her determined stay strong. She would always want something more with Naomi and if the blonde didn't feel the same Emily knew she couldn't lie to herself and act any differently. She'd taken the risk, been brave and to give in now and let Naomi back in would only be taking a step backward.

'Ems...you okay?'

Jolted away from her train of thought the twin looked up into the piercing blue eyes of the girl opposite 'Fine. I'm fine'

'Okay, it's just…'

At that point Emily felt the warmth of the blondes hand sliding under hers, and looking down at their interlocked hands she frowned noticing the fading bruise that still stood out against the paleness of her skin, the only remaining evidence of her outburst the other night.

Enjoying the comforting touch Emily turned her head away from the blonde, closing her eyes as she felt the gentle caress across her damaged hand.

'What happened?'

The question pulled Emily back to reality and facing the other girl she offered a small smile as she disentangled their hands 'It doesn't matter…'

'Of course it matters, you're hurt'

'You didn't seem to mind when you where the one hurting me' Emily snapped unable to control her temper.

Flinching the blonde tried to fight the tears threatening to erupt 'I never meant to hurt you Em, you have to believe that. I'm sorry, I really am'

Emily softened as she saw tears beginning to face down the other girls face 'I know you're sorry Nai…but this isn't about forgiving you, you know that'

'Yeah I know but…I miss you, like all the time. I just wish we could at least talk…be friends again'

Emily sighed, running a hand through her hair, 'I can't just be you're friend okay? I love you and I can't hide it anymore, I won't. It's too difficult'

Standing Emily moved from the table unable to stand the intensity that had surrounded them and leaning against the coolness of the library wall she took a deep breath trying to relieve the stress building in her body.

Closing her eyes Emily felt Naomi stand and feeling the other girls presence as she moved across the room she was sure the blonde was now directly in front of her.

'I can't lose you'

Even in such close proximity the words where quiet and if they had been anywhere else Emily didn't think she would have heard them.

Opening her eyes she was met with the sad gaze of the girl she loved, and lifting a hand to wipe away a stray tear the redhead felt Naomi bring their foreheads together, cool skin pressing together a stark contrast to the fire in their hearts.

Emily could feel Naomi's breathe against her mouth and closing her eyes once more she felt the emptiness she had been trying to shake disappear Naomi wrapped her arms around the smaller girl.

'We can't…' the redhead whispered battling to regain control of the situation.

Pushing her arms against Naomi's body she forced her eyes to open as she broke contact, the emptiness returned as soon as felt the blonde step back.

Glancing around the dim room Emily struggled with the urge to ignore what her brain was telling her and instead give into her instructs and kiss the blonde who was staring at her.

'We can't do this. I can't...I love you Naomi, and I know you love me, but I won't hide in the shadows anymore' Emily whispered the words catching in her throat as she felt herself begin to shake 'I've done that all my life, I've always let people push me around, just stayed quiet and been the good girl but not anymore. I want to be with you but not if it has to be a secret'

The silence echoing around the room told Emily all she needed to know and pushing past Naomi she hastily snatching her bag from the floor and ran from the library unable to look at the blonde, knowing that if she did her resolve would crumble.