This is for CottonStrings who has been requesting something about Leila, Fawn, Dawn and Tig for a long time. I hope you like it.
There'll be another piece coming soon where the girls are more grown up.
Enjoy
Tig pulls his bike to a slow stop in front of the small two-bedroom ranch. It's not the house he would have picked for his wife and children but Colleen wasn't the type to give a man a choice so he'd written the check. A squeeze from the girl behind him brings Tig back to reality and he glances over his shoulder at an eleven year old Leila. She's in the awkward in between stage of life, stuck after the cuteness of her baby fat and before the beauty of adulthood. Her eyes look too big in her thin tween face and her hair is a matted mess from the full-face helmet he'd forced her to wear for the ride over. She's holding the too big helmet in one hand and staring up him still looking mad from their earlier fight.
He'd had this day planned for a fucking month and Margaret still hadn't been able to keep herself pulled together. As much as he adores his oldest daughter's mother Tig can't begin to figure out how her mind works. Margaret had blown hot and cold since she'd come back from her last rehab stint two years before; alternating between letting him see Leila whenever he wanted and keeping his baby away from him for long stretches of time. Today had been one of the former and when Tig showed up to collect his kitten, Margaret had been uncaring and Leila had still been in her pajamas. He'd had to force the eleven year old into clothes suitable for riding and Margaret had been no help, just sitting on the sofa with a look on her face that clearly said 'this stubbornness is from your genetics, good luck.'
Thirty minutes later and with a kid in fucking jelly sandals on the back of his bike Tig had finally turned them towards the small house that held the newer half of his family. If he's honest Tig will admit he hadn't planned on marrying Colleen but she is a conniving woman and she caught him drunk and flushed with the news of her pregnancy. The papers were signed before he even knew what was going on but there's no going back now. He'd thought about marrying Margaret once, when Leila was still new and her mother had supposedly put off drugs for good but things had never really panned out. He eases himself off the bike careful to keep the machine balanced with Leila still perched on the back.
"Are they going to like me?" Leila's voice is small and Tig snatches the heavy helmet from her hand before helping her off the bike. She's wearing a neon pink shirt that makes his eyes hurt and she's got purple eyeliner smeared around her golden orbs. He has no idea why Margaret lets her get away with this nonsense.
"They're babies Kitten, they don't really have the ability to like or dislike anyone." Leila makes a face at him and he shrugs; honestly the twins are pretty boring. It was different with Leila at that age, he got to stay around more and he had Gemma forcing him to participate. Colleen doesn't like the MC queen though and she certainly hasn't wanted Tig in her house or her bed since the birth a month ago so he's stayed at the clubhouse.
"They're my sisters though right?" Leila slides her little hand into his to cross the street and he nods.
"Yea, they're your half sisters." He pulls her up the steps and onto the front walk; he wonders how long he has before she stops needing him to help her with things.
"Do they really look exactly alike?" He shrugs and pushes his key into the lock. Fawn and Dawn Trager are twins and they certainly do look alike but he's not sure if they'll stay that way. Tig had tried to pay attention while Colleen lectured him on the different types of twins but it had been boring and he hates to admit it but he has no idea if his new girls are identical or not.
"They're cute." They are too. He pushes the front door open and Leila drops his hand before moving inside. He watches as she stares around the living room before she turns back to him hands on her hips. She looks too much like her mother when she does that.
"Why do they get a big house and Mom and I only have our little apartment?" He has no idea how to answer that.
"Because your mother doesn't know how to keep a man." Colleen's voice rings out from the kitchen and Tig winces at the way Leila's face falls but he pushes it off turning to face his wife of the last year."
"Hey baby." He presses a kiss to Colleen's lips and jumps away from her when she reaches down to cup his crotch. "Not in front of the kid yea." He nods at Leila, the girl's watching them with far to knowing a look in her eyes.
"Girl's got to learn sometime, she's certainly not going to get any help from that—"
"Where are the girls?" He cuts off Colleen's imminent rant about Margaret but he doesn't miss his wife's angry glance. The two women of his life certainly don't see eye to eye when it comes to child rearing and Tig is quickly learning it's going to be a tightrope act to navigate between the two.
"In their room sleeping. Come on." He motions for Leila to follow and they all head down the small hallway to the nursery.
The room is done up in shades of pink and Tig smiles at the familiar matching white cribs. Everything had been different with the twins. Colleen actually knew what she was doing when it came to children and the nursery had been set up months in advance. It's a stark contrast to Tig's memories of Leila's early days. He and Margaret had been lost and they'd spent his kitten's first night home from the hospital stretched out on his dorm bed, Leila asleep on his chest. He hadn't slept a wink; too scared he would roll over and crush his baby girl. It had, however, been a bonding moment for him and sometimes he wishes he'd gotten similar experiences with his new girls. They feel like strangers sometimes.
"Which one's which?" Leila is staring down into the crib on the right, her feet braced on the bottom rung of the side.
"Right is Fawn, left is Dawn. If you two are good I have some things to take care of around the house." Colleen doesn't wait for an answer before she flees the room and Tig is left alone with his girls.
"Can I hold one daddy?" Leila is staring back at him and Tig suddenly sees an opportunity.
"Absolutely. Here, I'll show you how I used to hold you when you were this small." Leila nods enthusiastically and bounces back to his side. "Okay so lay down on the floor." She gives him an incredulous glance but obeys and Tig steps over her towards Fawn's crib. The tiny girl is asleep and bundled up in a mess of soft pink blankets. Tig is careful as he lifts her out before turning back to Leila. "Okay so stay still." He settles Fawn onto Leila's thin chest and watches as his oldest lifts her hands to keep the baby in place.
"You get Dawn." Leila's whispering now and her eyes are fixed on her little sister's face; Tig has no choice but to obey. Picking up his Dawnie, he carefully lowers himself to the floor beside Leila, stretching out so he's on his back he settles the baby in place. "Did you really hold me like this?" Leila is running her fingers over Fawn's back as she speaks.
"Yes. When you were this big your mom and I didn't have a crib yet and you would sleep like this on my chest all the time. Uncle Bobby thought it was hilarious." Tig runs a finger down the curve of Dawn's nose before turning to look at his oldest.
"Why didn't you and mom have a house and a crib for me?" Leila has both her arms wrapped around Fawn and she's staring up at the ceiling.
"We were really young I guess and we didn't know what to do. Gemma fixed us eventually." A truer statement has never been uttered and Tig feels guilt settle in his chest. He could have done better; he will do better.
"Why do their names rhyme?" Leila's next question is so out of left field Tig snorts in laughter, calming immediately when Dawn makes a noise of protest from his chest.
"Colleen really liked the names and they're twins so they're supposed to be similar I guess." That seems more PC than their mother is a raging lunatic.
"If I had twins I'd name them completely different things." Leila's voice is far away and Tig can't help but appreciate the beauty of this moment. All his girls, safe and happy in one place.
"Why's that kitten?" He balances Dawn with one hand and reaches out to tangle his fingers in Leila's messy curls.
"I'd want them to feel like they can be their own person you know. I don't want them to think that just because there's someone just like them in the world they can't still be unique." Her voice trails off and Tig lets the weight of this newest statement sink in. Leila's always been deeper than she's had any right to be and Tig turns his eyes to Dawn's cute baby face. His babies will know they can be anything they want to be right?
"You'll just have to tell them that. Your sisters I mean, I'll put you in charge of making sure they know they can be themselves. How about that?" He turns back to Leila to find her staring him very seriously.
"I'll be really good at that Daddy. I'll take care of them when you can't. Just like I take care of myself when you're busy." Well that breaks his heart. He's just about to reply when Colleen's voice rings out from the other end of the house. He pulls himself up and carefully puts a sleeping Dawn back in her crib before turning to collect Fawn from Leila.
"I have to go help Colleen kitten. You all right in here?" Leila nods without looking at him, she's back in her perch on the edge of the crib staring down at the sleeping girls.
He leaves the room and heads out into the main house looking for his wife. He can feel the unwanted emotion of the last ten minutes building in his chest and for a moment Colleen's offer from a few months ago plays through his mind. Watching Leila with Fawn and Dawn had made the plan seem a bit more realistic but Tig still can't see things working out. He'd been shocked when Colleen had come to him with the idea a few months before she delivered, offering to take Leila in and have her live in the new house with all of them. Colleen had reiterated her concerns about Margaret's mental state and he ability to take care of Leila while staying away from drugs. His wife had a point and there was no doubt in his mind a court would grant him full custody despite his record so Tig had been on board until he'd mentioned the idea to Gemma. The MC mama had lost her mind and lectured him for an hour on his inability to see through Colleen's manipulation. In the end Tig had vetoed the whole idea because Margaret had really had kept her shit together these last two years and it would tear her apart to lose Leila.
He finds Colleen in the kitchen trying to get something down from the top shelf of the pantry. Stepping up behind her tight little ass Tig reaches up over her to pull the box of formula she's reaching for down before reaching back to put it on the counter. Colleen turns against him and Tig loves the way her blue eyes widen when he pushes her back against the shelves. He smiles down at her before ducking to catch at her lips.
"Not now Tig." Her hands hit his chest hard and he finds himself pushed out into the brightness of the kitchen.
"When then?" He leans back against the counter and watches as she starts to make up bottles for the girls.
"I don't know Tigger, maybe when you're around more to help me with your daughters. There are two of them you know. Three if you do the right thing by Leila." Colleen's got an edge to her voice he doesn't like and she's slamming things down.
"I'm not here because you told me you needed space. You asked me to move back into the clubhouse. If you're tired with the girls, I'll get you a nanny. I've told you that before." Tig forces himself to keep his voice down but his temper is slowing building. It's been six months since Colleen's let him touch her and he's growing tired of the excuses.
"I meant space in bed Tig. I didn't mean you had to move out and I don't want a fucking nanny, you're supposed to be here helping me. And don't ignore the Leila and Margaret issue, that girl needs a real mother not some ex-drug addict who's doing her best. Besides if Leila were here she could help out the Fawn and Dawn." Colleen's voice is raised and Tig holds up a hand trying to keep her quiet.
"Keep your fucking voice down. She doesn't know anything about that shit with her mom." Colleen just rolls her eyes.
"Maybe she should. Maybe she should know what she's up against." Colleen has stopped even pretending they're doing anything but fighting and she's got her arms crossed in a way that Tig knows means trouble.
"Look, I want to be here more Colleen but I'm not a fucking nanny. I never have been and I never will be. You knew that going in. I'm not going to take you to BBQ's and I'm certainly not the type to offer to get up in the middle of the night with the kids." He sounds like an ass even in his own ears but he chose this life and she chose him so she should know how the life works. "I'll support you, I'll fuck you, I'll back you up in a fight, and I'll love you and our girls but I'm not going to live here and play house."
"That's just the way things are?" Colleen stares at him hard and he doesn't know where this is going.
"Yes."
"Fine. I can live with that." He's shocked by her acceptance but he can't see anything new brewing in her blue eyes so he lets it go. "I can't fuck you for another three weeks. Doctor's orders. But you need to move back home, I don't like you staying at the clubhouse." He nods, that's an easy fix.
"Sounds like a plan. I do love you baby." He reaches out for her hips on the words, pulling her against him. She turns her face away from his lips but she's got a coy smile on her lips and Tig knows he's going to get his way at least this once.
"I love you too." She lets him press a kiss to her neck and he knows this is only a stop-gap fix in a marriage doomed to fail but he'll do what he has to for now. He can play nice to try and give his babies a good home. He knows enough about Colleen to know she'll leave if she feels like she's not getting her way and he doesn't want to lose Fawn and Dawn before he even gets to know them.
"They're crying!" Leila's shout from the nursery is followed by the wail of newborn voices and Colleen pulls away from him, heading for the nursery. Tig follows and they both cross the threshold just in time to see Leila attempting to get a squalling Dawn from her crib, feet still perched off the floor. Tig lunges forward on instinct catching Leila and the still crying baby just before they all topple to the ground.
"Jesus kitten. What were you thinking?" He's careful when he takes the baby from Leila's arms and he bounces Dawn just a bit to try and calm her.
"I thought I could help." Leila looks close to tears and Tig glances at Colleen, who's picking up Fawn across the room.
"You shouldn't have left her alone with them." Colleen's voice is snappish and Tig can feel his happy afternoon falling apart before his very eyes. Leila's wiping at tears now and that stupid fucking eyeliner is smeared across one of her cheeks.
"Yea, yea." Dawn has quieted now and Tig sets his littlest girl back in her crib. "Come on Leila, I'll take you home. I'm sure your mom's worried." He shoots a look at Colleen, "I'll be back tonight." His wife nods and Tig puts a gentle hand on his eldest's shoulder before leading her out of the house.
Leila doesn't say anything as he fits the big helmet onto her head and helps her climb onto the bike. He waits until she's got her thin arms wrapped tight around his chest before he cranks up the bike and pulls them away from the curve. It's a good thirty-minute ride to the apartment where Margaret and Leila live but when Tig hits the final turn he can't bring himself to make it and he ends up steering them away. He rides the bike around the block until he hits a small park and pulls the dyna over, kicking down the stand. Leila doesn't ask questions as he pulls her and his old bedroll of the back of the bike and he leads her out into the middle of the big field. It's a sunny day and there are couples and teens picnicking all over. Tig picks a spot, spreads out the blanket and pulls Leila down with him.
"What's up with you kid?" He settles himself on his back and looks at his girl sitting cross-legged next to him. He can still remember the last time he'd used the term 'Indian style' around her. Leila had been five and she'd told him that her teacher said it was 'criss-cross-applesauce' and he was being insensitive to the indigenous American peoples. It was the first time Tig realized she was smarter than him.
"Nothing's wrong. Why aren't we going home?" Leila wipes at her eyes with the back of her hand and it just smears the purple further.
"Bullshit kitten, come here." He reaches out for her hand and pulls her down until she's settled against his side, her head on his chest. "What's going on, I know I haven't been around for a bit but your mom thought it was for the best. You've been moody all day though, you mad at me?" She shakes her head into his kutte and he sighs. "Well then?"
"Mom's been weird and she's dating that new guy and you've got a new family." Leila trails off for a long moment and Tig tightens his arm around her as a sign she should continue. "I just," She trails off again and he can hear a break in her voice. "What if mom has a new family too, then who'll want me?" The end of the sentence comes out on a sob and Tig immediately feels like an ass. Gemma had warned him he might have to have one of these conversations but Tig had brushed it off, he'd thought Leila was too smart to have these worries.
"Oh kitten. I'm always going to want you and your mom too. All this new shit, it's just grown up stuff. It has nothing to do with how much I love you." He stares up at the clouds floating overhead and wills his baby girl to believe him.
"But you married Colleen, Frankie at school says that means they're your real kids and I'm a bastard." Leila's talking into his chest and Tig is already coming up with very painful ways to kill Frankie whoever the fucker is.
"Frankie's a douchebag baby. You're my girl; you know that. I may have married Colleen but who's the only girl I've put my crow on?" It's a secret joke between the two of them. One Tig has always encouraged. He loves his wife and his twins but Leila was his first true love, sometimes he worries she got the best of him and that's not saying much. When she doesn't answer he jostles her, "who kitten?"
"Me." She's still sniffling but Tig can hear the note of pride in her voice.
"That's right. I love your sisters too now but that's it. I still love you just as much, always will." This is a side of himself he reserves just for his babies.
"Promise? Forever?" Leila's little fingers are tugging at his kutte and he looks down at the chipping black nail polish she's wearing.
"No matter what. You can't do anything that would change my mind." He reaches up to play with her hair and she settles further into his side.
"What if I lost your favorite gun?" He knows this game.
"I'd still love you."
"What if I broke the TV right before the superbowl?" He laughs.
"I'd still love you."
"What if I wrecked your bike?" She sits up for this one to stare at his face with still wet eyes and he gives her a hard look.
"I don't know what the fuck you think you'd be doing riding my bike but I'd still love you." She smiles so big it almost hurts to look at her pretty face and he grins right back.
"I know you told Colleen you'd come home but will you take me to dinner? Mom has Bruno over tonight and I don't like him." He raises and eyebrow but nods all the same.
"Absolutely. Who's Bruno?" He's already pulling himself up, collecting the old bedroll blanket from the grass.
"Mom's new boyfriend. Or well at least she says he is but he only comes round once a week or so. She always acts funny after he leaves but she says she just misses him." Leila's voice is casual and she's already leading the way back to the bike but Tig's heart is in his throat.
"Funny how?" He catches up with his daughter, stashing the bedroll and helping her with the helmet.
"She just sits and stares a lot. She doesn't eat much anymore, she says she's lovesick." So Margaret's up to her old tricks. Tig shuts the visor on the helmet to block Leila's innocent gold eyes from view. He shouldn't be surprised, two years was a good long stretch of sober for Margaret. He wonders if Bruno showed up with the drugs or if Margaret sought the dealer out, either way Tig knows he'll be getting his hands bloody after he drops Leila off. "Are we going to dinner?" Leila's voice is muffled by the helmet and Tig just nods as he mounts the bike.
"Definitely kitten. How about burgers and shakes?" Leila's head butts against his back in agreement and Tig fires the bike up. He'll take his kitten for dinner, he'll kill the dealer, and then he'll go home to his wife and twins. It's a busy life being a father of three.
Reviews are always welcome but thanks for reading either way.
I am also always available for requests on this story so if you have something you want to read just let me know.
Until next time...
