Chapter 12: He's amazing, and that's the problem
Isomerism in Organic Compounds
Djaq stared at the words that she had just copied onto a fresh page in her notebook and frowned. She tilted her head to the right and squinted, but the topic of that day's Chemistry lesson could have been written in Swahili for all she understood of it.
She tried to force herself to concentrate on the whiteboard in front of her, focusing on the teacher's voice with as much strength as she could muster. The Chemistry teacher was a kindly woman, but often spoke rapidly and in shorthand, seeming to forget that the students sitting in front of her did not have the Chemistry degree that she possessed.
It was frustrating for Djaq, who prided herself on her aptitude for Science. She had coped quite well with the lessons until recently, when suddenly the content had become a lot more difficult.
She glanced sideways at Will, whose dark head was bent over his notebook, pencil flying across the page as he transcribed the teacher's words. Blinking, she looked up at the whiteboard again, where a complex diagram had appeared depicting the subdivisions of isomerisms. Not that she had the faintest clue what an isomerism was.
Laboriously she copied out the diagram, followed by a table of formulas.
As the number of carbon atoms increases, the number of possible isomers increases rapidly…
Finally the teacher ceased talking, instructing the class to turn to chapter six of the textbook and work on the exercises there. As soon as a low hum of chatter had filled the room, Djaq turned to Will.
"Help," she said simply.
He looked up at her, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You need help?"
She nodded urgently. "I hate asking for help, so don't laugh at me. It's just that this –" she indicated the textbook "- is the most confusing thing I have ever seen in my entire life."
"I don't really get it either," Will reassured her. She narrowed her eyes at him slightly, wondering if he was only saying it to make her feel better, and then decided it didn't really matter. In fact, it was a good thing if he was lying, because that meant he did understand it and could help her.
"So we can work on it together?" she asked, and he nodded. "Can I come over tonight?"
The tips of his ears turned red as she invited herself to his house and he tried to rest his head casually against his hand to hide the burn. "We have panto rehearsal tonight," he reminded her regretfully.
"Oh." She bit at her lower lip. "Tomorrow? I know it's Saturday, and you probably have better things to do…" she trailed off.
"Tomorrow is fine," he replied, hoping that she didn't notice his shaking hands.
XX
Djaq lay on her stomach on Will's bed, her brow slightly furrowed as she stared at the formula upon the page of her notebook. The end of her pencil rested on her lower lip. Will sat on his desk chair, slouching backwards, long gangly legs stretched out in front of him and socked feet resting on the mattress near her elbow.
His Chemistry notebook rested on his knees, his pencil was loosely grasped in long pale fingers, but the formulas written upon the page in his neat, tidy handwriting were unread. His eyes were glued to the slender girl lying upon his bed, rather than the letters and symbols scribed on the page. He couldn't quite believe that Djaq was in his house. In his bedroom. Lying on his bed!
As if moving of its own accord his hand began to glide across his notebook, pencil lines quickly filling the empty space at the bottom right hand corner of the page in front of him. His eyes barely left Djaq's face, his eyes transmitting the beautiful picture in front of him to his skilled fingers, forming a delicate image on the paper.
He started in shock as she looked up at him, catching his blatant stare. His hand jolted, sending a thick black pencil line through half of the equations on the page, and he ducked his head to try and hide the vibrant flush that flooded his cheeks.
Apparently choosing to ignore the fact that Will's gaze had been focused on her face, Djaq reached out a hand. "I think I'm missing part of that last equation from class on Friday, can I check it?"
Will stared at her in horror, clutching his notebook in hands that were suddenly sweaty. "No," he managed to squeak, covering the page with his hands as if it would make Djaq forget that he had the equation she needed in front of him.
"No?" she repeated, arching an elegant eyebrow. There was amusement in her eyes as if she thought he was joking, but it faded as he stayed still, the notebook hidden protectively, looking like a deer caught in headlights. He was desperate for the ground to open and swallow him whole.
Djaq wasn't sure whether to pretend the whole weird incident hadn't happened, or act playful and tease him out of his secretive behaviour. Choosing the latter option she slid gracefully from the bed and swung one leg over his lanky limbs, which were still stretched over the space between his chair and the bed. Trapping his legs between her own she reached out her hand again, a playful smile quirking her lips. "Let me see!" she insisted, her voice bubbling with a mischievous giggle.
Will shook his head resolutely. His brain barely acknowledged the fact that he had moved; the rest of his body was frozen, trapped between shame at her catching him staring and fear that she would see that he had drawn her, whilst his mind was in awe at her beautiful, laughing face hovering in the space in front of his.
Djaq made a grab for the notebook in his lap but Will instinctively pulled it into his body, praying for it to somehow spontaneously combust. She frowned at him slightly, then a very un-Djaq-like, mischievous grin lit up her face and she thrust a hand past the barrier of his slender arms, her fingers making contact with his stomach. Twitching her fingers she tickled the area just underneath his ribs. With a yelp Will jerked backwards, the grip on his notebook momentarily loosening. Taking advantage of his weakness Djaq grasped the book, wrenching it away from Will's desperately clinging fingers.
"Aha!" she crowed triumphantly, retreating back to the bed with her prize. Will made one last lunge for the notebook but she jumped backwards, settling cross-legged on the bed. Will could only stare in horror as she flicked through the pages, finally arriving at the page from Friday's class. He saw her eyes widen slightly as they noticed the sketch at the bottom of the page. They widened even further as she took in the delicate pencil lines forming a beautiful, detailed portrait of her contemplative face.
His fingers twitched involuntarily as he waited for her reaction. The tiniest, most optimistic part of his brain dared to momentarily hope that she would realise how much love had poured from his fingertips into the image and declare that she reciprocated his feelings, but the larger, rational part of his brain expected her to freak out at his apparent stalkerish tendencies.
The reaction he hadn't expected was sadness. As he waited nervously he saw her large brown eyes fill with tears. Will jolted forward awkwardly, hovering with the seat of his jeans on the edge of his chair, unsure of whether or not he should move toward her in comfort. He got his answer when she shook her head slightly.
Suddenly standing, Djaq thrust the notebook back at Will. He took it automatically, the tips of his fingers brushing against the soft skin of her hand. She jerked her hand back as if his touch had burned her, looked at him for a moment with eyes that were almost fearful, then turned and hurried out of the room.
"That went well," Will muttered softly to himself as he stared at the solid wood of his bedroom door swinging slowly back into place.
XX
An hour later Will was still sitting in his chair, drumming his pencil against his notebook in a relentless cacophony. She had looked scared of him, and he had no idea why. Will had always assumed he was about as threatening as a fluffy bunny rabbit.
He needed help, and he knew who he had to turn to. Allan had always been there for him; he wasn't great at advice, but he could always cheer him up. Grabbing his mobile from the desk he called Allan.
"Hey, Allan. I need to talk to you. Can you come over?"
It was only ten minutes before he heard the front door open and Allan's heavy footsteps on the stairs. He strode in, throwing his jacket down on the floor and collapsing on the bed in a pile of sweaty limbs.
"I ran," he said in explanation as Will wrinkled his nose. "What's up?"
Will sighed, and then explained everything that had happened between him and Djaq. "And she looked scared, and I don't know why!" he finished desperately.
"Mate, I'd be a bit freaked out if I caught you drawing pictures of me," Allan said. "Seriously Will, when I said I'd back off and you could have her I expected you to actually do something about it, not scare her off."
"I didn't mean to!" Will replied, running a desperate hand through his hair. "She wasn't meant to see the stupid picture. It's bad enough that she saw that, but she looked so sad…I just want to make sure she's okay."
"So call her," Allan replied with a shrug.
"It's not that simple! I'm not brave like you."
Allan sat up, turning to face Will. "Mate, you're brave," he said quietly. Will was shocked by the seriousness of his tone. Allan was never serious. "Just not confident."
"Same difference," Will shrugged. "I'm still not going to call her."
"Fine." Allan pulled out his phone.
"What are you doing?" Will asked in panic. "Stop it!" He lunged for the phone but Allan easily dodged him, laughing.
He pressed the call button and lifted his phone to his ear. "Hi, Marian?" he said. Will heaved a sigh of relief. "Listen, something happened with Will and Djaq today…I think she's upset, can you make sure she's okay and call me back? Will is worried. Sure. Thanks."
"What did she say?" Will asked nervously.
"She's going to go round and see Djaq, she'll call me when she makes sure she's alright," Allan replied. He smirked. "Do you want to draw me while we're waiting?"
XX
After ending her call with Allan, Marian immediately found Djaq's number and called her.
"Hey…can I come over? Okay, see you soon."
She was slipping her feet into shoes even as she hung up the phone, and grabbed a jacket as she hurried out of the house. She had no idea what was going on – Allan hadn't exactly been forthcoming on the phone – but if Djaq was upset, she needed to be there.
Djaq lived the furthest away of the gang, but it still only took twenty minutes to walk there. Marian rang the doorbell and the door was opened by a short, friendly looking woman, wiping floury hands on her apron.
"You must be Marian? It's nice to meet you, dear. Djaq is upstairs. Second door on the left."
"Thank you," Marian replied gratefully, kicking her shoes off and hurrying up the stairs. She came to Djaq's door and found it closed, a name plaque written in glitter and decorated with stickers declaring it to be her room. Marian knocked quietly on the door.
"Come in," Djaq said tonelessly.
Marian pushed the door open and found Djaq lying on her bed, one arm draped across her eyes as if she couldn't bear the light assaulting them. The room was small and painted cream, a few photographs pinned above the bed.
"I like your door sign," Marian said as an opener, perching on the edge of Djaq's bed.
"My sister made it," she replied with a smile, but the amusement quickly faded from her face.
"What happened, Djaq?" Marian asked softly. "Allan called me and said something happened between you and Will."
"What?" Djaq half sat up, worry mingling with anger on her face. "So he's telling everyone now?"
"Allan didn't tell me what happened," Marian reassured her. "He just said you were upset, and that Will was worried. They wanted me to make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine," Djaq replied tersely.
"No you're not," Marian countered.
"I said I'm fine!" Djaq snapped, sitting up abruptly. "Just leave me alone." Marian looked at her, wounded, and Djaq sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."
Marian reached out and touched her friend's arm lightly. "Please tell me what happened," she said softly.
The gentle touch and tender words seemed to cause something to snap inside Djaq and before Marian knew quite what was happening the girl was sobbing into her hands. Marian reached out and pulled Djaq towards her, holding her in an embrace so Djaq's tears soaked through the shoulder of her shirt.
"I'm sorry," Djaq sniffled eventually, pulling away from Marian and wiping her eyes on her sleeve.
"That's okay," Marian soothed, passing her a tissue. "Eve's almost drowned in my tears the times I've cried on her shoulder."
Djaq snorted then blew her nose, taking in a couple of deep, calming breaths. "I'm okay now," she assured Marian. "Thank you."
Marian was torn between amusement and exasperation as she looked at the girl who was trying to fix an expression of assuredness on her face, but failing thanks to her bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks. "Tell me what happened," she said again, quietly but firmly.
Djaq sighed, collapsing back onto the bed. "Will drew me," she said bluntly.
"He drew you?" Marian raised an eyebrow. "What's so bad about that? Was it a bad drawing?"
Djaq shook her head. "It was a brilliant drawing," she said quietly. "That's the problem."
"I'm sorry, but I'm not really following." Marian scratched at her temple, brow furrowing. "He drew a nice picture of you…and that made you cry?"
"Yes," Djaq replied, a little hiccup of laughter escaping her as she realised how stupid it sounded. "He wasn't supposed to be drawing me! He was supposed to be doing Chemistry homework, but he drew me, and it was amazing. He's amazing, and that's the problem!"
The last few words came out as a wail and Marian automatically reached out to squeeze her friend's hand comfortingly, even as she smiled at her behaviour. Djaq was always so calm and practical; it was a rarity to see her so confused. "You like Will." It was a statement, not a question.
Djaq grabbed a cushion and pressed it over her face to hide her blush. "Yes," her muffled voice replied.
Laughing openly now, Marian grabbed the cushion and playfully hit her friend with it. "You love him!" she said gleefully.
"No I don't!" Djaq protested, trying to snatch the cushion back.
"Djaq and Will, sitting in a tree…" Marian sang, still laughing.
"Marian!" Djaq growled, sitting up and lunging for the girl
Marian hopped off the bed and danced out of Djaq's reach. "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" she finished triumphantly.
Djaq folded her arms, pouting slightly. "Are you quite finished?" she asked.
"Yes." Marian smiled at her sheepishly. "Sorry. I thought I was twelve again, for a minute." She returned to the bed and settled herself back down next to Djaq. "Seriously though, why is it such a bad thing? Why did you cry?"
Djaq stared at her hands, pressing her fingertips together and then intertwining her fingers, trying to keep them occupied. "I realised I liked him a couple of weeks ago, that night we went to the Yogi. But I told myself it didn't matter, I had to ignore it…and I thought it would be easy, because he didn't like me. But then I saw that drawing…" She sighed heavily. "I can't explain it Marian, it was just drawn so…so beautifully. He'd made me look beautiful!" She gave an incredulous giggle. "And the way he looked at me, I could see it in his eyes. He was so afraid that I would hate it…"
Marian clapped her hands together happily. "But that's brilliant!" she beamed. "He obviously likes you, and you like him…" she trailed off as she recognised the anguish in Djaq's eyes. "But you're unhappy. So what's the problem? I'm sorry, but I don't really see it." She gave an apologetic shrug.
"I told you before," Djaq said with a sigh. "Will isn't the kind of boy I'm supposed to like."
"Ohhh," Marian said, expelling a long breath of air as she realised the problem. "He isn't a Muslim."
Djaq shook her head. "My parents wouldn't be very impressed if I bought a Christian boy home."
"Is it really that serious?" Marian asked. "I'm really sorry, but I don't know much about Islam."
"Well, I'm not having an arranged marriage or anything," Djaq told her. "But my whole family expects me to marry a Muslim. I don't think they'd be angry if I didn't, but they would be disappointed. And that's worse, somehow."
Marian nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. She knew how terrible it felt to let her father down – a sad look was a hundred times worse than a lecture.
"Also…" Djaq looked back down at her hands. "My dad's friend has a son, who is my age. And I know my parents would love it if I chose him."
Marian thought for a minute, picking her words carefully. She didn't want to insult Djaq's religion or culture, and needed to find the right way to offer advice. "Wouldn't they love it more if you were happy?"
"I suppose," Djaq replied slowly. "But I will only be happy if I know I'm not disappointing them. So me and Will – well, there is no me and Will. And there never will be." With those words she reached out and picked up her Chemistry book from where she had dropped it on the floor, and Marian knew that the subject was closed.
XX
As soon as she left Djaq's house Marian pulled out her phone and called Allan, knowing that Will would be working himself into a state.
"Hey, Allan. Yeah, I spoke to her. She's okay, I think…look, I'm really sorry, but you're going to have to tell Will she isn't interested. She just freaked out because she realised he liked her, and didn't know what to say…yeah I know, it's a shame. Okay. See you Monday. Bye."
Hanging up she looked at the small handset, guilt settling heavily in her stomach. She felt terrible for lying, but Djaq had made her swear never to tell anyone about her feelings for Will. She had insisted that it was better if he never found out; if he did, she was afraid that he would hound her, and try to make her change her mind. This way, perhaps their friendship could survive.
Marian was just glad that it was Allan, and not her, who had to break Will's heart.
Author's Note: - ducks for cover from irate Will/Djaq shippers -
I am determined not to ramble like crazy in this A/N. But excuse me for a moment while I die of squee...
Okay, I'm alive again. Its just, 12 reviews for one chapter? You guys made me so happy, which is why you get this chapter today instead of tomorrow!!
Right, gush over...and thanks again :)
