Cats always asked Mousepaw why he lingered so close to his sister Minnowpaw. They always accused him of being an overprotective brother. They always told him that she was her own cat and that he was his. They told him to leave her alone so that she could make her own choices, but he couldn't. That was the one thing he could not do.
Many nights in his sleep, Mousepaw saw his dead mother and father. They looked down on him with eyes full of disappointment. "You're a disappointment," they told him. "You'll never amount to anything," they said. "You're not our son." One was worse than all the rest, though. "We don't love you."
He was determined to prove the monsters in his nightmares wrong. He worked hard to be the best warrior ever, but he was just an apprentice. There wasn't much he could do yet. Still, he told himself that he would be the greatest warrior ever
The day his father died, Mousepaw promised to protect Minnowpaw from every harm no matter the risk. It was his job, so he liked to think. He was her brother. He had to forever be there for her.
Sometimes his nightmares were filled with skeletons, whether they be of his mother, his father, or his sister. He screamed and screamed, but never could he save them. When he woke up, his short fur sticking up everywhere, he would check on his sister, but to be safe. Sometimes he even looked for his parents, even though he knew they wouldn't be there.
He couldn't bare to ever see his sister be hurt. Every time he lost track of her, there was a swirl of pain and concern in his stomach, every thought of what might have happened to her running through his mind. Is she dead? Is she alone? Is she hurt, calling his name for him to help her?
When he would find her, a million questions filled his mind, but she always gave him a small response. "I was hunting." "I was battle training." They were what she said, but all he heard was "You weren't there for me."
Occasionally he followed her. The mountains were a scary place, and he didn't want her to be alone. She wouldn't know he was following, but his golden eyes were always there.
He wasn't stalking her. Some cats told him that he was stalking her, but it wasn't true. He was just protecting her. That was his whole purpose in life, to protect her. Still, cats taunted him about the way he followed his sister around. He was just doing his job, and he didn't understand why they teased him.
In some of his dreams, Minnowpaw would be attacked by a ferocious beast. Each time, Mousepaw killed the beast, it turned into his beautiful sister. Each time, he told her he was sorry for hurting her, and each time, only a skeleton would hear his cries.
The tom was afraid of death. He was told that it was a stupid fear, but he was still afraid. He was afraid of the leader dying. He was afraid of his aunt dying. He was afraid of his sister dying. He was afraid of dying himself. He blocked out the memories of death during the day, but they all came flooding back during the night.
There were rare dreams where he'd be walking in the meadow feeling very thirsty. He would find a pond, but when he tried to drink from it, he did not see his reflection. He saw Minnowpaw falling in love with a strange cat, and then that cat killing her over and over again. He was frozen in place, forced to watch the murder over and over again.
His sister always told him, "They are just dreams, Mousepaw. I'm fine." He wanted to believe her, but he never could. He always saw innocence and love in her blue eyes, but all he saw in his golden gaze was fear.
He remembered small sleek Minnowkit, who used to whimper into Smokestar's shoulder. She was a scared kit back then, and he still sees that scared kit in the silver-and-white everyday. He saw those terrified blue eyes in the back of his mind, the only thing that haunted him during the day.
Mousepaw hated change. His aunt always told him, "Change is a part of nature. It happens to the best of cats." He didn't want change. Change took away his family. Change left his sister and him as orphans in a big world. Change made him the scared cat he was on the inside and the brave cat on the outside. He hated change, no matter what his aunt told him.
Sometimes he was told that he would make a great leader one day. He didn't believe it. He was too frail for the job. He had seen all of the stress that Smokestar went through. He didn't want to be like that. His nightmares would keep him away from any sort of position of importance. He didn't deny it. The truth came to him easily.
Minnowpaw hated to see him in so much despair. He could see it in her eyes when they spent time together. Behind the innocence and love, there was a cat that cared for him. He loved her for it, but sometimes he felt that she loved him too much. It was his job to protect her, not the other way around.
At times his sister would tell him that they have the day off. She never said why, but he knew the reason. She would talk to their mentors constantly about his 'problem'. She was worried, but he didn't want her to be. He tried to put all of the worry on his shoulders, but he knew it was too much for him. The weight was too big, yet he pushed on.
He had one nightmare that was different from the rest. All of his troubles were a giant mountain, bigger than the ones that surround their home. The mountain stood on top of him, crushing him underneath its massive weight. Mousepaw felt suffocated. As he struggled, a voice would speak to him. "Share your worries with others. They will help you through it. If you don't, it may be the end of you."
Of course, he hadn't listened to the dream. It was just a dream. However, he felt like sometimes it was true. He hated the extra responsibilities, but he had to protect his sister. That's all he ever wanted out of life, to keep his sister safe.
Though, he often dreamt that his mother and father were still alive, and that they were a happy family. He often wished that he could curl up with his mother when he was sad, or spar with his dad when he was bored. He often wished that he was in StarClan with them, but he could never leave his sister.
Mousepaw hated to dream. Some nights he stayed awake so that he wouldn't have to go through another nightmare. They were too much for him. They were too much and he hated it.
He always told him, "If you're going to be Minnowpaw's protector, you'll have to learn to live with the hardships. You have to train hard and forget about all of it." He couldn't, though. He acted like the big bag protector, but he wasn't.
All he ever wanted in life was to be himself. He couldn't do that, not with his parents gone. Minnowpaw needed him. He needed to save her. He had to stay with her. He had to live with her and love her with all his heart. He needed to be her protector.
Sometimes he wondered why it had to be him. Why couldn't it be their aunt? Why couldn't it be Smokestar? Why was it him? He was her sister. He was always there. When he opened his eyes, she was the first thing he saw. He loved her too much to not do this. He always realized this at the end of the day, not matter how much his head screamed for him to give up the act. All his promises would disappear.
Minnowpaw was always a bundle of joy in his life. She was the only thing that kept him from jumping off a mountain. The dreams haunted him, and she was always there to comfort him. She was his anchor to the real world, his life line, and he never wanted to leave her. He never wanted her to leave. She was his light in the darkness.
He knew, however, that one day they would become warriors. Mousefang and Minnowshine are what they always hoped for. He would lose his baby sister. He would fall in love with a beautiful she-cat and his sister would fall in love with a strong tom. They'd lose each other forever, no matter how hard they tried to not, and he would be a skeleton of what once was.
AN- 1513 words. Bleh, this was bad. Very bad.
Mousey is my little Batman, trying to protect his sister from everything. Unfortunately, everything comes with a price. Poor thing is haunted. ;-;
