A/N: I do not own Twilight, or anything else you may recognize in this story.
Thank you so much to everyone that took the time to read/review/favorite/alert this story. It means the world to me that people can get enjoyment out of my slightly strange mind. :) Also thank you to my awesome beta Alley83.
On another note, sorry this chapter is a little late! Want to know what's awesome? Having a child with the stomach flu... Want to know what's fuckawesome? Having 3 children and a husband (who might as well be a child with the way he is acting) with the stomach flu! Needless to say this week has been spent knee deep in throwing up children! ew!
One last note... I have done something I wasn't sure I would... *pauses and bites her nails.* A lemon! Please be gentle with me it's my first time.
"Bella…"
"Not a word Edward."
"But Bel…"
"I mean it Edward, not a fucking word!"
Edward felt horrible, how could he apologize if she wouldn't let him talk?
"I'm sorry." Edward muttered quickly.
Bella shot Edward a death glare.
It wasn't that Bella was mad at Edward per say… Technically it wasn't his fault, and she knew that. It still didn't change the fact she was pissed off and more than a little embarrassed.
A timid knock, and shuffling feet broke the tension of the room.
"Ah, my beautiful Swan, so lovely to see you again." The doctor said while leering down at Bella.
Bella blushed slightly.
Edward gaped.
"Now my sweet little thing, what brings you to see me tonight?"
"I cut my foot." Bella mumbled out while shooting another glare at Edward.
"Let's have a look ok?"
The Doctor spent the next 5 minutes looking over Bella's foot, while slyly rubbing their hands over her calf. Definitely not being totally professional.
"How did you manage this one beautiful?" Asked the Doctor, while ignoring the tall man gaping like a fish.
"I stepped on my razor in the shower…" There was no way in hell Bella was going to tell the Doctor it was a failed attempt at shower sex. It's always fun to joke about dropping the soap, till it actually happens and your partner drops you!
Really, who ever thought of having sex in the shower is an idiot! Bella didn't only have this opinion because she was in the hospital. It was the many other things that happen during shower sex that people don't usually talk about.
Water up the nose, slipping and falling, a moan being cut off midway through because you just inhaled enough water to fill a small fish tank, or better yet water in your eyes! Really Bella could sit for quite awhile thinking of all the reasons to NOT have sex in the shower.
The real question is, if she felt this way why was she now in the ER because of it? Easy, she can't say no to Edward's cute pout.
Bella was brought out of her musing by the Doctor's soothing voice.
"Look's like you're going to get a few stitches sweets." The Doctor stated while going back to rubbing Bella's leg, just a little higher than before.
All the while Edward gaped, too shocked to say much of anything. He couldn't believe the Doctor was blatantly flirting with Bella right in front of him.
Twenty minutes later Bella wasn't feeling much thanks to the fuckawesome Doctor, or maybe it was just the pain medication she had taken.
"All done beautiful. If it starts hurting just take some Tylenol. Also I'm going to give you a shot of antibiotics. Foot injuries tend to get infected easily so that's just a precaution."
The Doctor paused. "Now that business is all done, how about you let me take you out sometime?"
Bella giggled. Every time she came to the ER she always seemed to get the same Doctor, and every time the Doctor asked the same question.
"Carmen… I will tell you again, just like I always do. If I ever decide to swing that way you will be the first to know."
Carmen was a beautiful woman, with her Hispanic heritage giving her a beautiful skin tone, along with dark hair and hazel eyes. She had a body that most women would kill to get. Hell Bella wasn't into woman, but even she got a boner just looking at her. Well if she had the right part's Bella was sure she would get a stiffy.
Carmen frowned. "You can't blame a girl for trying! One of these days you are going to realize we would be great together."
Another half hour was spent going over after care instructions, which Bella ignored. She had heard this same speech more times then she could count.
"Are you sure?"
Bella sighed. Edward had been asking the same question ever since they left the hospital 2 hours ago.
"I'm positive hun. You have been looking forward to this convention for months. It's just a few stitches I'll be fine… Promise."
Edward had been set to go away for a tattoo convention tomorrow morning, but in light of Bella's situation he was trying his best to talk her into letting him stay. He still felt guilty over dropping her, even if it was the fucking soap's fault! Really he was minding his own business and the soap just jumped off the ledge and attacked his feet!
"Maybe I can only go to the Chicago one and skip the others I had planned on going to?" Edward had already set things up for a 2 week trip before he had met Bella.
Bella wanted to be selfish and make Edward stay with her, not because she needed the help, she wasn't an invalid! She just knew that she was going to miss Edward.
"Go Edward. I'll be here waiting for you."
Edward sighed. "Are you sure? I really won't mind staying home with you baby."
Bella narrowed her eyes, but remained silent.
Edward groaned. "Fine, but I'm going to blow up your damn phone while I'm gone."
2 weeks, several calls, and a trip to the winter festival later:
"I want a funnel cake… No wait a corn dog!"
Bella snickered. "Are you sure that's what you want?"
Emmett scratched his head, deep in thought. "Well now you have me second guessing myself! How about some cotton candy?"
Bella remained silent.
"Ok no cotton candy… How about some of those fan-fucking-tastic home made fries?"
Bella tilted her head.
"Fuck little sis, I give up… I'm just getting them all!"
Bella smirked. "You're going to regret that."
"Pfft! I have an iron stomach. As soon as I get all this eaten I'm dragging Eddie to the gravatron!"
"Stop fucking calling me Eddie!" Edward grumbled while smacking Emmett.
Emmett growled. "I've asked it before and I'll ask it again. Why the fuck does everyone always hit me?"
Everyone ignored Emmett and went about trying to win a way over priced cheap toy.
Three hundred dollars later Bella was the proud owner of a goldfish. She had tried telling Edward to just let it go, but nooooo he just had to prove he could get the little ring around the bottle.
He never succeeded, the carnie felt sorry for him and gave him a half dead fish for his efforts.
Bella was poking her little fish's bag wondering if it was normal for a fish to swim on its side when she was startled by someone tapping her shoulder.
"Bella Swan is that you?"
Slightly puzzled Bella turned around to see who was calling her name, only to quickly wish she hadn't acknowledged it.
"Wow, long time no see Mike."
Mike nodded. "Yea, I was going to call you after our date, but I kind of got grounded."
Bella's eyes bugged out. "Uh, that was like a year ago Mike." Bella refused to think about Mike being in his late 20s and still getting grounded.
"I know, I was really bad." Mike blushed slightly.
She was almost afraid to ask, but curiosity always won out where Bella was concerned. "What did you do?"
Mike's slight blush turned into a flaming red one.
"mymomfound... afewmonthsworth... ofher..." inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, gulp. "VictoriaSecrets... magazinesunder... mybed.." Mike said so quickly and quietly that Bella had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.
"Huh?"
Mike was praying he would get struck by lightning at this very moment.
"My mom found a few months worth of her Victoria Secrets magazine's under my bed."
Bella had no idea how to respond to that statement. There was just so many things wrong with it. Bella feared if she opened her mouth she wouldn't be able to stop the laughing fit that was steadily building up inside.
Thankfully Bella was saved from her laughing fit and a case of verbal vomit by Edward.
She sighed contently when she felt Edward place a possessive arm around her waist. Bella had spent the last 2 weeks moping and pouting. She missed Edward more then she thought possible. Sure she had all her friends and of course her book to keep her preoccupied, but it just wasn't the same without Edward.
"Edward this is Mike Newton… Mike this is my fiancé Edward."
Mike's eyes widened as he took in the large tattooed man in front of him. He unconsciously took a step back.
Edward's smirk turned smug when he realized who this was. Bella had told him all about the awful match making skills of Alice.
"Sup?" Edward nodded. No need to be rude, even if this tool had dated his Bella at one time.
Mike swallowed… hard. "Nn-not much, just saying Hi to Bella… So Hi Bella… Bye Bella!" Mike stuttered out quickly before turning and practically sprinting away.
Bella giggled. "Thank you for saving me."
"It's my job baby! I'm your knight in a shining Volvo."
Bella snorted. She couldn't believe that Edward was the proud new owner of a Volvo.
"Let's go. We're suppose to be meeting Angie and Emmett at the Tilt-o-Whirl."
Edward nodded.
"Emmett… Do you really think you should be eating all that shit before we get on a ride that spins so much?" Bella asked slightly amused.
"Pfft." Emmett rolled his eyes. "I told you I have an iron stomach."
"You better not puke on me!"
Emmett ignored Bella as they all climbed into their seats.
"Woooooooooo!" Emmett giggled. "Yeaaaaaaaaaaa! This is awesome!"
Bella watched in fascination as Emmett's yells got quieter, and his face slowly turned green.
"I warned y…"
Bella's words stopped short as she watched in half amusement and half disgust as Emmett yanked off his hat and proceeded to vomit… In his own hat.
Emmett didn't say a word as he climbed off the ride, holding his hat out far from his body while searching for a trash can, ignoring the laughing trio behind him.
Once the hat was taken care of Emmett turned around to face the chuckle heads. "Well… I say we get a funnel cake, then hit the gravatron next!"
Bella gaped.
Edward wasn't surprised.
Angie rolled her eyes. Typical Emmett.
2 funnel cakes for Emmett, 4 numbers for Bella, and a potty break later:
"This line is too fucking long." Whined Emmett.
"Stop being a bitch Emmett."
Emmett glared at Edward.
"Bella?"
Four sets of eyes turned on the 3 people walking up to Bella.
Bella groaned, wondering if she was being punked.
"James, nice to see you again."
James squealed and grabbed Bella in a tight hug.
Edward narrowed his eyes.
James was oblivious to Edward's glare. "God it's been forever! How are you doing?"
"Um… Good." Bella was getting uncomfortable with him invading her personal space.
A throat clearing brought James out of his girlish squeals.
"Oh! I want you to meet some people Bella! If it wasn't for you my life wouldn't be as great as it is now."
Bella nodded, slightly perplexed. Looking at the striking red head woman and the very feminine man next to her.
"Bella this is my boyfriend Laurent, and our wife Victoria."
Bella's eyes bugged out. "Come again?"
James giggled. "Well after our failed attempt at a date, I realized I would never be happy without my Victoria. She couldn't choose between us either, so we decided to just all be together."
Edward bit his lip to keep from laughing. Jesus, is this what Bella's life was before him? If she wasn't an author already she sure as hell could make a book about her past dating.
"Wow…" Bella had no idea what else to say.
"I know it's great right? We are actually in talks with a TV station to do a show on our life. It's going to be called "Brother Husbands" you should check it out."
"Baby, we need to go… It was nice meeting you Bella." Victoria stated while giving Bella a tight hug, squeezing her ass just a little.
Bella let out a nervous chuckle. "You too."
They all watched them walk away hand in hand in hand. It's like a train wreck, you don't really want to watch it, yet you can't seem to not watch it.
"Who do you think the woman in that relationship is? Victoria or Laurent?"
Emmett's question was met with 3 swift smacks to his head.
"Fuck! Stop hitting me, or I'm going to go fucking brain dead!"
Emmett's plea was ignored as everyone turned back to wait in line.
As the night went on, Edward grew more and more agitated. He knew Bella was a beautiful woman, but it wasn't easy to see so many men hit on her right in front of him.
It didn't matter if he was touching her or 10 feet away, these tools didn't seem to mind that she had a ring on her finger either.
Logically Edward knew he had nothing to worry about, Bella loved him not these fucktards. His ego however didn't want to listen to logic.
He wondered if Bella would be mad at him if he pissed on her leg to mark his territory. Edward quickly threw that idea out, she would definitely be mad for that one.
"Baby?"
"What?" Edward asked distractedly, still pondering marking Bella.
"Are you ok? It's our turn to get on."
"I'm fine." Edward sighed, he was being silly.
Thankfully they managed to finish the ride without anyone tossing their cookies.
"Edward?"
"Hmm?" Edward mumbled out, too focused on trying, once again, to get the damn ring around the bottle.
Bella sighed. "I'm going to get some cotton candy before we head home."
"Yea sure, get me some too please?"
Bella rolled her eyes as she headed off to the food cart.
She was having an internal debate with herself over the merits of pink cotton candy Vs. blue, when she felt a hand roughly grab her ass.
Bella giggled. "Couldn't stay away I see."
"You're just too sexy standing over here biting on that pouty lip of yours."
Bella gasped and quickly spun around. "Who the fuck are you?" She demanded while looking at the large man in front of her. Of course at 5'2 it didn't take much for a man to look large to Bella. If she had to guess he was probably just over 6' tall with greasy black hair and beady dark eyes. If the sweat dripping off his forehead didn't gross her out his smell sure as hell would have; weed and alcohol, not a nice smell combination.
"I'm the man that's going to put that dirty little mouth of yours too good use."
"I don't fucking think so!"
"Oh, so this is how you want to play it then? I like 'em feisty." The man stated as he ran his finger down her cheek.
Bella shuddered, than squared her shoulders, ready to put this asshole in his place.
She opened her mouth but snapped it shut when she saw a murderous looking Edward stalking over to her.
Edward didn't wait for an explanation; he was past hearing reason no matter what the excuse was. He simply cocked his fist back and flung it forward connecting with the douche bag's nose.
Once Edward heard the satisfying crack of the man's nose, he turned and grabbing Bella flung her over his shoulder and headed to the car.
"Edward?" Bella asked quietly while trying not to puke from being upside down and getting jiggled around.
Edward grunted, still too hopped up on adrenaline to talk. His only mission was to get Bella home and replace the images of another man's hands on her.
"Where are we going, damn it?" Bella hissed when she realized they were leaving the festival. She really wanted that blue cotton candy!
"Home." Edward growled.
Bella decided to stop talking and let Edward cool down. She had never really seen him this worked up. She was not the least bit ashamed to admit that she was seriously turned on by Caveward.
Edward placed Bella on her feet once they reached the car before he promptly pushed her against the side of it.
This wasn't the normal sweet kiss Bella was used to. This was possessive and primal.
Edward pulled away leaving a breathless puddle of Bella goo. "Get in." He gruffly told her.
The ride home was silent. For her part Bella was still trying to get her bearings back from that damn kiss. For his part Edward was trying to calm his inner beast. It wasn't working.
Before Bella had the front door totally closed, Edward had her up against the wall.
Bella had no idea when or where her underwear and pants had gone, although at this point she really didn't care.
Edward's pants seemed to have magically disappeared as well. Maybe she had a pant's ninja under her front porch?
Bella mentally giggled picturing a little garden gnome dressed in black under her stairs waiting to steal pants. Oddly enough the gnome looked an awful lot like Alice…
Bella's inner monologue was cut short by Edward.
With a quick swipe of his fingers to make sure Bella was ready, he thrust into her hard without much warning.
"Tell me who you belong to Bella." Edward ground out.
Bella was having problem thinking straight, let alone saying words.
Edward thrust harder reaching down to pinch her clit. "Tell me! Who makes you cum Bella?"
Bella moaned louder at his words.
Edward slowed his pace, making sure to keep Bella just at the edge but refusing to let her fall over. "Who owns this pussy?" He whispered harshly in Bella's ear.
"Oh god!" Bella whimpered.
"That's not what I want to hear! Who does this to you Bella? Who makes you cum so hard you can't even remember your own name? Tell me!" Edward demanded while setting up a grueling pace that had Bella smacking her head into the wall.
Neither seemed to care about the rattling pictures along the wall.
Somewhere deep inside his head, Edward knew he shouldn't be so rough with her, but he couldn't seem to stop. Thinking of another man touching his Bella had him not thinking straight. Bella didn't seem to mind either.
"Yy-You do!" Bella stuttered out, hell she would of told him anything he wanted to hear just as long as he didn't stop what he was doing.
"That's right baby. I own every single inch of your tight little pussy."
"Mmmm." Bella moaned quietly.
"You like when I take you rough like this kitten?"
Bella nodded frantically.
Edward chuckled darkly while moving his hand down Bella's body, rubbing tight circles on her already sensitive clit.
"Fuck!" Bella shouted as her whole body convulsed in pleasure.
Bella's orgasm pulled Edward along with her causing a muttered "shit" to be ground out as Edward bit down on Bella's shoulder, marking her for all to see. There would be no confusion, she was his.
When Bella finally was able to feel her own legs again she looked over at Edward who was sporting a goofy grin on his beautiful face.
"Jesus, Possessiveward needs to come out and play more often." Bella wheezed out, still trying to catch her breath.
"Bella?"
"Yea?"
"How in the hell did your panties get on the ceiling fan?"
Bella looked up and sure enough her panties were going round and round. How fitting, guess they had their own little carnival ride tonight.
Eight weeks later…
"Edward?"
"What's up baby?
"You know those discussions we have had about all your "wards"?"
"Drunkward, Jelousward, Inkward, Caveward, Sweetward, Possesiveward, and even a little Geekward. Am I forgetting anyone?"
Several times over their relationship Bella had referred to him as some kind of "ward" other than Edward. He always found her nicknames for him quite funny.
"Just one… It's a new one I think you will enjoy." Bella stated slyly.
Edward chucked, anxious to hear what his love had come up with this time.
"Ok, hit me with it woman, what's my new one?"
"Daddyward…"
A/N: Hope you enjoyed my little slice of lemon pie.
The whole Tilt-o-Whirl bit is actually a true story of how my husband lost his favorite hat... I warned him! But did he listen to me about those foods? Of course not.
A few awesome stories you should check out if you haven't yet.
-
It's a sign by CaraNo - Daddyward with an adorable hearing impaired daughter. Add "nanny" Bella into the story and you're in for a killer ride.
Amongst the Living by DazzlinSparkle05 - Anxiousward meets Spunkella. Great story... Very interesting take on the Cullens.
Bridges by Savory - A very cute love story.
Reviews get a teaser to the next chapter. :)
