Top Gear X
Author's note: Been a while since I've written anything about Top Gear X. Not much feedback from folks so I wrote other stuff (hint hint). Plus my muse as it were lost interest for awhile as I wrote other things.
Why did I add Elric of Melniboné briefly into the last chapter and this one? No reason other then I thought it would be funny. Plus I thought I'd try a bit of Michael Moorcock's writing style (very small bit I think).
Oh, and boot means trunk for the Brits.
Part 12a: Our three heroes engage in an altercation
Our automotive trio ran up the ballroom steps and then quickly reached the front entrance. They found one of the doors torn from its hinges due to the smashed MG black and red NB Magnette Airline coupé that had apparently been thrown at it.
"Ahhhh"! Proclaimed James with obvious pain upon seeing the now wrecked classic car. "There are only seventeen of those still in existence"!
"I think the number is sixteen now May". Replied Jeremy with equal dismay. "Bloody hell, must be the work of Euro centric car hating greenies. I've always said that someday they would rise up and assault good God fearing drivers everywhere. Now if I was in charge I'd…".
Richard took a glance outside through the broken door, and then interrupted Jeremy's ongoing diatribe about environmentalists, Brussels, and the EU in general. "Or it could be that bloody big rampaging dragon and all the goblin blokes".
Now Jeremy and James joined Richard in peering outside as well.
Jeremy grudgingly admitted that Richard had a good point. "Yes… Richard that… may be more likely".
The scene was lit by various burning fires, some of which were additional wrenched MG cars that were vigorously burning, and there were also various trees fully engulfed in flames. A black dragon was rampaging over by the pond fighting various magical creatures (including the gryphon that had formally been pulling a carriage and the two giant dogs that had pulled James's and Richard's carriage).
There were scattered bands of what looked like goblins fighting the elves and the guard dogs that had earlier been seen. Off towards the far left, the albino gentleman (from the prior chapter) could be seen fighting a band of goblins with a large two handed black sword while screaming "Blood and souls! Blood and souls for my lord Arioch"!
"Who's the Goth drama queen"? Asked James while pointing at Eric with his walking stick.
Jeremy answered. "Some bloke Yana was speaking with downstairs. Don't get too close, I think he's a menace with that sword of his. Just as likely to kill an ally as the foe".
"Competition"? Snickered Richard.
Clarkson looked sideways at Richard. "Nooo. If Yana was into such things I suspect she'd be hanging out with Alice Cooper or some other such trash".
Jeremy still thought that there was a good chance that the dragon was an EU sympathizer though; but he felt that it would look silly to state that without additional proof.
"Well chaps, I think this calls for a bit of ordnance don't you"? Remarked James.
"Yes, I must agree". Replied Richard. "And some professional backup as well". Richard reached into his pocket and did something.
"How long do you think it will take for them to arrive"? Mused Jeremy. "Knew I should have been allowed to bring an Apache attack helicopter or an F-15E. Love the F-15E"!
"Be a bit is my guess as we did drive for a bit" responded James.
"Right… so it's up to us to help defend hearth and home then". Nobly proclaimed Jeremy as he took a heroic poise.
"And our arses". Quipped Richard.
Jeremy looked a bit less noble now. "Yes, mustn't forget our arses".
"Rather hard as I think it's the biggest thing on you". Quipped James while looking smug.
"Feeling uncomfortable now" stated Richard taking a step away from James.
"Stop looking at my arse James". Rebutted Jeremy. (ha ha, get it? Rebutted?)
Jeremy continued. "The BBC diversity working group has repeatedly spoken to you about appropriate and inappropriate touching in the workplace as well as implied sexual harassment micro aggressions James".
James responded with some aggravation. "They have not you sod. Stop making references that I'm a bender as I don't find it amusing in any way".
Before the spat could developed any further, an explosion lit up the night sky as the dragon gave forth a blast of fire which prompted Richard to break up the developing quarrel before the special pointing fingers could make an appearance. "Not now! Focus on the rampaging dragon! Argue later"!
Jeremy had a sudden look of panic. "Oh my God, the Aston"! From this location the Aston could not bee seen due to the angle of the building
With that the three who drive ran from the building to where the Aston had been parked.
It was still intact but all the carriages all around it were smashed.
"Thank God! That after market car alarm really did the trick"! Commented Jeremy as he fumbled in his pockets for the key fob.
Richard pointed at the dragon. "Checkout the big purple bloke fighting the dragon"!
"Hmmm"? Both James and Jeremy stated as they turned to see what Richard was yammering about. As they did this Jeremy hit the boot unlock button and the car lights flashed twice to indicate that the alarm was disabled.
"Where Hamster? I see nothing but an irate menace of a dragon". Asked Jeremy. James also looked in vain for what Richard had seen.
"He... it was right there on the neck of the dragon pulling an ear off". The dragon in question was now missing an ear but no figure could be seen.
Jeremy pulled a Berretta 9mm pistol from his coat pocket. "No matter, likely got eaten or something. Here Richard, use the 9mm to cover us while James and I gear up".
Richard looked puzzled but assumed a proper two handed shooting stance with the pistol.
The camera angle shifts, we are now in the trunk looking up at James and Jeremy gazing into the boot. The light is a bit golden. James looks a bit like a mad scientist and Jeremy looks like a boy in a candy store as they gazed upon the treasures within.
"Hurry up, we have incoming"! Shouted Richard as he spies a group of goblins approaching.
What to pick... what to pick.
"Dibs on the rocket launcher". Stated James with a gleam in his eye.
And then they both started as Yana makes a sudden appearance in scene behind them. "Dibs on the sniper rifle" was her comment as she reached between them and snagged the Accuracy International L115A3 .338 sniper rifle and a small camouflaged back pack.
"Where the bloody hell did you come from"? Asked James with some irritation. She'd scared the heck out of him sneaking up like that.
Yana responds as she chambered a round and snaps the safety off. "I was helping Elric get into the fray. We took a shortcut as it were. Then I... came over here to check on you. I'll be on the roof using channel 5 as we all agreed upon".
She put on a headset that she pulled from the boot and then put on the backpack. With that she took off running back towards the main entrance while holding the rifle in her hands.
With that the camera angle switches back to the general scene and we see Jeremy and May watch her back as she runs towards the main entrance
"Not just a pretty face" is James's comment as he watches Yana run off in her tight blue dress. "And how she can run that fast wearing high heels is extraordinary".
"No... much more then just a pretty face" is Jeremy's comment as he also observes her depart. It's possible, just possible, that he's staring at her very athletic ass highlighted by that very tight dress.
"Focus"! Shouts Richard. Who then promptly started shooting at the approaching goblins causing them to take cover.
Part 12b: Our heroes deploy some ordnance
With that our dynamic duo reach into the boot. Jeremy pulls out another three small backpacks, then two L85A2 assault rifles, and finally a AK-47 (Jeremy's preferred rifle for general mayhem). He also retrieves and put on a headset for himself and two other headsets for the others. He quickly passes one backpack to Richard and one of the L85A2 rifles as well.
While this was going on James has retrieve a AT4 854mm light anti tank shoulder fired single shot launcher. He then also dons a headset but leaves his rifle by the car while he started prepping the rocket launcher.
Jeremy unleashes a full auto 30 round blast from the AK-47, which emptied his clip in about three seconds, causing all the approaching goblins to take cover again. This break allowed Richard to pocket the Berretta and grab the rifle after first stuffing his coat pickets with magazines from his backpack.
Richard now started firing semi auto (three shot bursts) while Jeremy now commenced stuffing his packets full of magazines from his backpack.
All this noise attacked the attention of the dragon which eyed them, issued an ear splitting scream of a challenge, and then started to trot in their direction; incidentally stepping on a goblin that did not get out of the way fast enough.
"Any time James"! Shouted Clarkson who now started to also fire in three round bursts at the dragon.
"This takes time to setup properly"! Shouts back James. "Now... step five pull out the firing tube... there... Now step six fold down the sighting array... Got it. Step seven locate your target using the sighting array...".
James looked up and saw the dragon bearing down on them. The bullets appeared to just be bouncing off the beast.
"Oh crumb"!Was James's panicky statement as he aligned the rocket launcher.
Meanwhile a goblin was sneaking up behind James. The goblin raised his battle axe to...
The rocket swooshed out of the launch tube and impacted the chest of the dragon, while at the same time the exhaust from the back of the rocket launcher blasted the goblin and sent him tumbling ten feet across the ground and incinerated him as well (Hint, it's a really bad to stand behind a rocket launcher).
"Right Oh" cried James as the dragon staggered and died, its heart disintegrated from the rocket's shape charge. He then picked up his rifle, aimed, and fired its built in one round grenade launcher at a cluster of soon to be dead goblins that were all pointing at the dead dragon. Then he too stuffed his jacket full of magazines and put on a headset as Richard likewise put on his headset.
Just in time as they heard Yana.
Yana radios: "On the roof. I see a large mass of goblins at the edge of the woods. Recommend you fall back to the main entrance".
Jeremy radios:"Roger that".
"Time to hightail it chaps! Back to the entrance"! Shouts Jeremy as they all put on their backpacks.
With that they run back to the entrance, with Jeremy in the rear. He paused for a second to hit the lock and alarm button on his key fob. The Aston lights flashed twice and then all was briefly still.
A pack of goblins cautiously approached the Aston but once they found our boys gone they breathed a sigh of relief. Then a mace armed goblin decided to smash up the car. He raised the mace high to smash it down on the boot lid. Then, just has he started to swing the mace down, a large purple arm appeared out of nowhere, attached to a very large torso.
"Boss babe be upset if you damage her ride" A deep voice grumbled with an evil tone. "S'ym can't allow that. S'ym has job to do".
The goblins didn't last very long, and the Aston was still untouched.
A large purple creature crack its knuckles. "S'ym always likes traveling and killing interesting people".
Part 12c: Roofies of the wrong kind
The roof was one of those flat castle roofs with a stone wall at the edge, perfect for somebody to hide behind. Yana put the backpack down by the edge of the roof and quickly deployed the sniper riffle's muzzle legs and scanned the surroundings with the scope. She radioed the boys her advice on falling back, then she commenced scanning for targets.
There... a dark elf who looked like he was giving orders.
CRACK went the rifle, Yana had not put on the silencer because speed matters when you're shooting over long distances.
Splat went the elf, chest shot.
Yana cycled the bolt chambering another round. As she scanned for more high value targets she could be heard to mutter.
"They never let me use the gun... always somebody else... told them I was a good shot... but no... Sam or Berto always hogged the rifle... well not this time boys... this time I get to play punisher... ahh bingo... he looks important".
CRACK went the rifle again and another high racking officer goblin type went down missing a head.
Yana was referring to a video game she played in her youth for those who want to know.
Then Yana reached into the backpack and pulled out of the special tungsten armor piercing rounds housed in a red magazine. She replaced the current magazine with the red magazine and chambered a round. She'd noticed that Elric was having issues with an eleven foot tall armor plated golem. She aimed and...
...
...
Elric was in a bit of a predicament as the golem was a created soulless creature. Kind of like a magical robot, so his sword had no affect upon it other then to chip at the hardened clay that it was made of, and scratch the armor.
The golem was waving a massive mace about, just missing Elric each time. Elric was trying to come up with a spell to defeat the golem, he had just settled on the idea of trying to summon a demon to inhabit the golem, when the golem's head exploded just as Elric heard a CRACK.
The golem stood there with a body language of confusion as the head was the location of the main sensing organs. Then a second explosion took out where the heart would be, followed shortly by the destruction of a hip. The golem stumbled and then fell down.
Elric spied the erstwhile Lord of Chaos on the roof pointing some kind of long wand. She waved at him and then pointed to where the main entrance was. He hesitantly waved back.
"Fell is the magic of her worlds". Was his comment before he resumed a fighting retreat back towards the main entrance.
A few additional CRACKs could he heard as he made his way.
