IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!
This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic
Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)
Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?
Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing, attempt at humor
Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT
"talking"
'thinking'
""people talking at the same time""
'INNER SAKURA'
(Ren POV during the opening song is in Italic)
Ren's favorite word: Epic
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"You're technique is nothing but an imitation... I'll never be defeated by a copycat ninja like you," Zabuza said and he chuckled.
"But you're pretty good. I see you copied my water clone technique when you said, 'I won't let anyone on my team die.' By making your clone speak as if it was the real one, you diverted my attention to the clone... while the real one used the Mist Concealment technique to hide and observe my movements.
However..." Suddenly another Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi! "I'm not that easy to fool." The Zabuza in front of Kakashi turned into water.
"That one's a fake, too!" Naruto shouted as Zabuza began to swing his giant weapon at Kakashi, luckily he ducked but Zabuza wasn't through yet! It was still kinda foggy for me…
Okay all good!
He planted his weapon in the ground and delivered a hard kick to Kakashi making him fly back! Zabuza took his giant weapon out of the ground and began running towards where he kicked our sensei but, he suddenly stopped short.
"Makibishi Spikes?" I heard him say. "How idiotic," he said as he jumped up and disappeared and Kakashi fell into the water.
"Sensei!" Naruto shouted.
"No Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura yelled.
"His hand-to-hand combat skill is superb, too," Sasuke said almost making me turn to him. I don't think now is the time to praise the enemy. I saw Kakashi finally surface.
Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi and started various hand signs while calling him a 'idiot.'
"Water Prison Jutsu!" he said and suddenly Kakashi was in some sort of giant blue water orb! Zabuza had one hand inside the water prison. "You fell for it," Zabuza laughed. "This is a special prison that you can't escape from. You give me a hard time when you're moving."
'I knew he was good but not this good!' Kakashi inwardly paniced.
"Ah! YOU CHEATER!" I yelled out making Zabuza look directly at me. My heart just stopped "…Wuh-oh."
"I'll take care of you later," he said never taking his eyes off of me. "But first, I think I'll get rid of your little brats."
Damn, me and my pie hole. I slapped my forehead…which was stupid because I had my hitai-ate headband on. Sasuke stood in front of me with a kunai knife in hand.
"Ren... you really need to stop using that big mouth of yours!" he said.
"Sasuke…please do shut up… I know that already!" I said. Zabuza said something that caught my attention.
"Water clone jutsu!" he said. Water... the water was forming into the shape of Zabuza and I think it started laughing!
"The three of you have forehead protectors on as if you think you're ninja. But ninja refers to someone who has gone through numerous life and death situations; in other words, you can call yourself a ninja when you appear in my bingo book."
"I am getting tired of his little book! I am a ninja!" I thought frowning. "I sang the 'Ninja of the Night' song and everything! I'm straight up ninja material!"
"You four aren't ninja," Zabuza the clone said putting his hand up to his chest; it became a lot more foggy as he spoke. It became so bad that I couldn't see Zabuza anymore. Suddenly I could see Naruto getting kicked back, spitting up blood and off went his headband! Zabuza stepped on it.
"Naruto!" Sakura shouted.
"You're just a bunch of kids," Zabuza finished.
"Listen! Get the bridge builder and run!" Kakashi called to us. "You can't win this fight! He's using all of his power to keep me in this prison so he can only fight you with his water clone and the clone can not go far from the real body. So run!"
Hey…how the hell can he breathe in that thing?...Ren focus…Well damn we can't just leave Kakashi here that much is obvious.
'Kyaa if I stay here Sasuke-kun and I will be killed!' Sakura thought
'…He's an elite ninja. A real elite ninja…I have to get away. I can't just lie here…there's no doubt about it! I'll die if I don't. he'll kill me!' Naruto tried to get up but yelled in pain. He looked down at his hand. The hand he swore an oath on.
Naruto stood up slowly and faced Zabuza. And suddenly, he starts charging at Zabuza with a loud battle cry!
"Naruto! NO!" Kakashi yelled.
"NARUTO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sakura screamed with her hands on her head.
Naruto was kicked back as soon as he reached Zabuza!
"Naruto! Are you okay?" I asked but then I noticed something... Naruto had his headband in his hand!
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING TACKLING HIM BY YOURSELF? YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL! BUT GENIN-"
"Shut up Sakura!" I scolded.
Naruto struggled to stand all the while groaning in pain.
"His aim was the headband?" Sakura stated confused.
"Hey you, the freak with no eye brows..." Naruto said. I had to suppress a snicker. "Put this in your bingo book... the ninja who will become Hokage of the Hidden Village of Konoha one day..."
Naruto stood up straight and put on his head band. "He never backs down and his name is... Uzumaki Naruto!"
I sigh smiling. It's times like these when I remember that this is why Naruto is my favorite character.
"Sasuke, lend me your ear for a sec!"
"What do you want?" Sasuke said making me almost jump; I had forgot he was standing right in front of me!
"I have a plan!"
"I can't believe you want to work as a team," Sasuke said. 'Now he has a plan?'
"Naruto, you're making me smile!" I said softly.
Sakura stared dumbly. 'I feel strange…This is so…Naruto is so…'
"Alright guys... let's rock!" Naruto shouted.
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TBC
YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!
NO FLAMING
Next time: The Secret Plan!
Bloopers
He planted his weapon in the ground and delivered a hard kick to Kakashi making him fly back!
(music starts play) I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY~
Director Mitsuki-sama- CUT! TOBI WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PLAYING WITH THE BOOM BOX!
Tobi-TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!
"That one's a fake, too!" Naruto shouted as Zabuza began to swing his giant weapon at Kakashi, luckily he ducked but Zabuza wasn't through yet! It was still kinda foggy for me…
(suddenly somebody grabbed Ren's breasts)
Ren-EYYYAAAAAAAAAA!
Sasuke- TITTIES!
Director Hime-sama- SASUKE! GET BACK INTO CHARACTER! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TIL THE SHIPPUDEN SEQUEL!
Ren- pervert…
Sasuke-not my fault you have the biggest tits out of all the females in this arc.
Sakura-Sasuke-kun…
Damn, me and my pie hole.
SPLAT!
(Ren gets hit by a pie)
Director Hime-sama- TOBI!
Tobi-teeheehee
Ren- bleh! Blueberry…
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING TACKLING HIM BY YOURSELF? YOU THINK YOU'RE SO COOL! BUT GENIN-"
THWACK!
(Sakura's head rolls on the ground)
Naruto-…
Sasuke-…
Ren-…
Kakashi-…
Zabuza-…
Tobi-…
Director Hime-sama-…sorry. BRING IN THE SAKURA-BOT #5
