Karigan spent several days in her room, sleeping and trying to recover from whatever had befallen her, but thankfully she did not travel again. The fever and headache came and went without apparent reason. Ben determined early on that whatever it was wasn't a sickness, and therefore not contagious, but Karigan was restricted to her rooms anyway. Not that she had a lot of energy to go anywhere else.

Mara was in and out of her room often, and Karigan wasn't without visitors. Fergal and Tegan both dropped by, and even Lynx stopped in before he left on his next errand. Karigan knew that he would not be back for a while and made sure to hug him before he left.

Being restricted to her rooms meant that Karigan's food had to be brought to her, and she was glad to see that it was Rei who had been tasked with delivering her meals. The girl warmed up to her sometime around the third day, and Karigan found her a sweet but gregarious child. She declared she wanted to be a Green Rider after the fourth day, and that Karigan was probably the nicest person she'd ever met, but the sickest. The last had made Karigan laugh.

Estora did not come by again, though Karigan hadn't really expected her to.

She didn't dare think about the king.

Karigan had been stuck in her room for a full week by the time she was allowed to leave. Ben had warned her against doing anything too taxing, and the Captain would not allow her back on duty, so Karigan had decided to visit the stables. She'd had no word on Condor yet, but it would do her well to be around horses again.

There was no longer a Weapon posted outside her room, which Karigan supposed she was grateful for. Rider barracks were fairly quiet, since it was the middle of the day and most of her fellow Green Riders were ostensibly out on message runs. Karigan longed to be on one herself, if only to feel normal again. To feel normal and have something as simple as a message errand to focus on.

Karigan went slowly, but the prolonged rest had been good for her leg. Still not as steady or limber as her uninjured one, it caused her gait to be a tad uneven. She was able to move better, though, and that was a welcome improvement.

The first thing she'd done upon leaving her room this morning had been to shower, and as she stepped out into the cool breeze of the day it blew the scent of clean hair toward her. Karigan took a deep breath, relishing the fresh air after so long spent indoors. Fall was close: Karigan could see some of the leaves already starting to lose their bright colors, and the grass fading to brown in some spots. They had some good grazing days left, but before long they'd need to switch the horses to their winter feed.

When Karigan got to the barn she found it mostly empty. Blue Bird was in his stall, of course – the Captain never went out on errands anymore – and Fergal's Sunny was there as well. Carrots, the companion horse that they kept, poked her chestnut head over the stall door and whickered a greeting. Carrots was lame and couldn't be ridden, but she was good to have around for the other horses. Karigan greeted her with a scratch behind the ears and a kiss on the nose.

The stalls were clean, but Karigan busied herself with refilling the water buckets and giving all three of them a good brush down. Though it wasn't common to work with another Rider's horse without permission, Karigan didn't think that the Captain or Fergal would mind. Sunny, Carrots, and Blue Bird all seemed to enjoy the attention.

When she considered her work done, Karigan went back outside to haul herself up and sit on the top rail of the paddock. She had a great view of the castle and the Winding Way, the main road that up to and through its gates. She could see the banners flapping lazily in the breeze, and a few people on their way into and out of the castle. It was peaceful out here.

"Well met, Galadheon."

The soft voice startled her. Only a sure seat and long hours in the saddle kept her from falling. When she turned, she was shocked to see Ealdean behind her.

"Ealdean!" she greeted warmly. "I had no idea you were still here."

"I confess, we had not intended to stay so long."

"Why did you?" she asked curiously.

"I do not think I'm at liberty to say, though I don't doubt you'll find out soon enough. We were invited to stay for the announcement, as well, and we did not want to seem rude after trespassing on your king's generosity for so long."

Well, that was certainly ambiguous enough to ignite Karigan's curiosity. She'd only been confined to her room for a week, and not actually away from the castle, yet it seemed that she had missed a lot anyway.

"Announcement?"

"Hmm. We have it on good authority that your queen is expecting."

Karigan's heart and lungs skittered to a stop. Expecting what she wanted to ask, but how could it be anything but what she thought it was? Estora was going to have a baby.

Zachary's baby.

The heartache hit so suddenly and spread so quickly that Karigan might have thought that she'd been hit with some nefarious, poisoned arrow. She had known, of course. On some level she had known that Zachary and Estora's marriage had been consummated. It had to have been to be considered truly valid, and the stability of the throne was predicated partly on the existence of children. Kings had to have children to carry on the line, or the kingdom would be thrown into a war of succession, and those always ended badly.

Still … still.

"I have surprised you," Ealdean said. "You did not know, and I have sprung this on you without warning. My apologies, Galadheon."

Karigan wasn't sure that her throat worked anymore. She shoved the words out anyway. "You did surprise me, yes, but there's no need to apologize. No harm was done."

Outwardly, maybe, but Karigan felt as though she were bleeding inwardly.

Zachary and Estora were going to have a child.

As they should, Karigan told herself. This was good for both of them, and good for the kingdom. Zachary's position on the throne would be stronger for it, and Estora … Estora would never be alone again.

"I think maybe I've been out here long enough," Karigan said to no one in particular.

"Would you mind company for the return trip?" Ealdean offered.

Karigan partly wanted to say no, but maybe having Ealdean with her would help. "Not at all."

The Eletian matched her pace easily. Though it was much slower than his usual one, Ealdean made no complaint as they made their way back to the castle. She felt heavier, but the weight must have been all in Karigan's heart because her bad leg held steady.

Once in the castle again, Karigan had fresh eyes to take in what she had missed before. The activity in the castle was more than it would normally be: runners darted to and fro in the corridors, and formal decorations were being laid out and hung. Everywhere she looked preparations were being made; she had been a fool to miss them earlier.

In that moment, Karigan knew she had to leave. She had to get as far away from the castle and the royal couple as she could – for as long as she could, or at least as long as it would take her to school her heart to indifference. She could not manage a lifetime of feeling like this.

Ealdean was a quiet but reassuring companion in light of Karigan's riotous emotions. He left her at the top of the hall to Rider barracks with a slight bow and a look she thought was meant to be reassuring, though it was so slight as to almost not be there at all.

Karigan did not hide, exactly, but she found it easier to be in her room.

The hidden blessing of the announcement party was that everyone was too busy to take much note of her. The emptiness of the Rider barracks made sense now, since her friends were probably all out summoning the Province-Lords to the castle for a party. Or taking notice to the ones who would decline. Karigan didn't know what the procedure was for a birth announcement.

Avoidance was easy when everyone was too busy to notice. Karigan did not stay in her room – she made several more trips to the stable, and to the Mending Wing when Ben could not make it to her and requested her for a check-up – but neither did she make her movements as blatant as she once might have. It was almost like being a ghost, though Karigan didn't actually have to resort to using her brooch to fade.

She made it nearly another full week before the thing she dreaded came to pass.

Karigan was in the Rider's common room and pouring over the accounts when a Green Foot runner appeared in the doorway. Her stomach sank the moment she saw the young boy in the door; it was Tomas again, a boy she knew well.

"Hello, Tomas." Her voice was surprisingly steady for how uneven she felt. "Are you looking for me?"

She sincerely hoped he'd say no.

Instead, he nodded. "You've been called to the Small Council Room." They knew each other well enough that Tomas didn't bother calling her by a title when no one else was around.

Karigan sighed deeply. It would have happened sooner or later, she surmised, for some reason or another. Putting it off was impossible. She'd had some time, at least, to steel herself to the news. Steel herself and recover, so that at least this time she stood a relatively good chance of not falling on the floor in a heap.

"Very well."

Karigan stuck a paper between the pages she was on and closed the accounts book. Maybe she'd return when she was done; if not, she had made good progress on the neglected accounts, and whoever took them up next wouldn't have such a hard time with them.

Her limp wasn't gone, but it was less pronounced. Ben had assured her that it should fade entirely with more time, and that the scar – a nasty thing that ran nearly the entire length of her thigh – wouldn't inhibit her movement. She was well-recovered for the most part, though the double vision persisted, and she was occasionally prone to running a higher than average temperature. Headaches were common too, though she and Ben both supposed that had something to do with the vision.

The Small Council Room was more formal than the King's study, and less formal than the official council chambers or audience hall. Karigan knew that room was generally used for meetings between the king and his advisors, or a handful of dignitaries that the king wanted to put at ease.

When they were close enough to see the door, Tomas ran ahead of her. There was no herald to announce her arrival – Neff was reserved for the grander congregations and formal occasions – so Tomas would enter before her and serve in Neff's place.

Karigan paused outside the door. Her heart was racing, and the surge of adrenaline that came with it was enough to make her palms sweat. She took a deep breath.

She missed Tomas's announcement, but clearly heard Zachary's response.

"See her in."

Karigan waited for Tomas to open the door. She made no visible adjustments to her posture but hoped that her back and shoulders were as straight as they felt. She also hoped no one realized they were held that way by tension, rather than good posture.

The short walk across the room gave her time to study its occupants. The king and queen were there, of course, as well as Captain Mapstone, Prince Jametari, and Somial. Karigan noted with some small surprise that Ben was there as well, looking well out of his element.

She stopped before the round table that was set into the middle of the room and bowed. She rose when the king told her to, but barely spared a moment to look at him. Instead, she fixed her gaze on a spot on the table just before him.

"You sent for me, Your Majesty?"

She kept her voice as cool and neutral as possible.

"Indeed. You seem well recovered, as Healer Ben and Captain Mapstone have said. You are feeling well, I hope?"

The questions were innocuous enough. The sign of a good monarch, Karigan supposed, to anyone else's ears. To Karigan, it was as though he were mocking her.

"Well enough, sire."

"Prince Jametari has proposed an idea that he'd like you to hear. As it affects you, no decisions have been made, nor can they be by anyone but yourself. Will you hear him out?"

"Certainly, sire."

She raised her eyes and turned her head slightly to observe the Eletian prince, who sat as regally in his chair as if it were a throne. He inclined his head toward her.

"I am gratified to see you in such health, Galadheon," he started. "We have wished often for your recovery."

"Thank you," Karigan said with a real smile.

"Though your physical wounds have healed, your young mender tells us that you continue to suffer some illness?"

Since it was phrased as a question, or at least an opening for an explanation, Karigan obliged. "I get headaches a lot, and fevers. Both come and go as they please."

Jametari had been expecting that answer. "And your vision?"

Karigan shifted her feet. "The same."

The Prince studied her in silence for a minute. His next statement caught her off guard. "You have moved in time, I suspect."

Undignified as it was, Karigan's mouth fell open. Guessing by the sudden shifting of bodies, his pronouncement had surprised everyone else as well.

"Rider G'ladheon, is this true?" the king asked.

She dared a brief glance at him, so as not to seem disrespectful. "Yes."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Captain Mapstone jumped in.

Prince Jametari saved her from answering. "More importantly, when did you go?"

Karigan thought of the Zachary she had found there, and the room where she'd woken; their room. "I'm not sure," she answered honestly. "Years; a decade, maybe."

"How can you know?" the Queen asked.

Karigan clenched her jaw. "I saw someone there."

"Someone you know?" the prince continued.

Had she known him? He'd been her Zachary, and not her Zachary; a man waiting for a version of her that had not come. "In a manner."

"Was it the future?" Jametari asked.

"How could it have been?" The answer was unexpectedly harsh and acerbic. Karigan hadn't meant it to sound so, but she could feel that Zachary's arms around her as clearly as if they were now – now, when he sat across the room with the mother of his future child. "Forgive me," she said immediately.

"This future caused you pain." It was said softly and without reproach.

All things considered, it was probably the least painful thing Karigan had experienced in months. In fact, she'd found herself hoping to close her eyes and wake up back there again, just for a moment. Though it was probably better that she hadn't.

"I will ask nothing more. We have a healer in Eletia, the last to escape Argenthyne before that great city fell. She is the last of us that might know how to help you with the Gift. It's my belief that these … lingering effects you suffer, and the time travelling itself are manifestations of the Gift. You must be taught to manage it."

"So, you don't think I'm dying?" Karigan asked the question coldly, without inflection.

More shifting of bodies in seats.

"Karigan," Laren started.

"On the contrary," Jametari interrupted. His gaze was direct, and Karigan was grateful for it. "I think the weight of that which you now carry is overtaxing you, as you were not meant to carry it. Without our healer's help, I think that you will continue to deteriorate until the inevitable happens."

Well, that declaration took a moment to digest. "So, my options are, what? Come with you to the healer or just stay here to waste away and die?"

"Karigan." It was the reproach in the word that drew Karigan's attention to Estora, whose face was drawn. It was impossible to miss Zachary's expression, though she tried.

She ignored them both and turned back to the Eletian. "And if your healer can't help me?"

His answer was a bit of a foregone conclusion, but it helped to hear it anyway. "Then I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do."

The room fell silent at that. Karigan tried to weigh her options logically, and the possibility that either may end up the same way.

"Can't you just take it away?" Captain Mapstone asked.

The prince shook his head. "I'm afraid it's not our gift to command. The last of us known to have any command of it has long since been lost."

"Laurelyn."

"Yes. Though, how Galadheon could come to possess it is still something I have not been able to make sense of. It was passed to none outside of her direct line, unless given by that lady herself."

Karigan was hit with a jolt of surprise. How did the prince not know that she'd met Laurelyn? Ealdean had been there with her in that tower when the Lady of Light appeared; they had spoken at length. She found it hard to believe that Ealdean would not have told his prince about the encounter – but if he had, then Jametari would know where her double vision was from.

Karigan cleared her throat. When the Eletian prince was looking at her again she said, "Laurelyn did give it to me."

His normally serene face transformed quickly. "Impossible."

"I met Laurelyn in Argenthyne," Karigan continued. "Ealdean was there, he spoke with her as well. Ask him, if you don't believe me. She is the reason for the double vision – I could only save the Sleepers by retrieving them from the past. Surely Ealdean told you this when he returned?"

"He told me of meeting the Lady of Light, yes, but said all he knew after that was battle."

Yes, that was what he'd remember. Karigan recalled it all: how he had urged her to go with Laurelyn even as her friends battled the evil creatures that swarmed the broken palace, the sleepers that had been turned. She remembered seeing Solan ripped apart, and the gruesome nythlings that had besieged them all; Yates, and Lhean, and …

"That's true." Karigan's voice sounded hollow. The memories were painful, like everything seemed to be these days, and she was so tired of hurting. "I was – I tried – I wanted to stay and fight with them, to do what I could, but." She stopped trying to explain it.

Laurelyn had promised that if Karigan did not follow her a worse fate would befall the kingdom, and the scourge of Blackveil would be released onto her home. Given such a choice – their small group or the entirety of the kingdom – Karigan had had no choice but to follow.

To leave them to their doom.

"You did what you had to, Rider." The words had come from the king.

Karigan looked to him automatically, hearing different words layered over the ones he'd spoken: I'm so tired of always doing what I must.

She couldn't stand to keep looking at him. Belatedly she realized that she was angry; so angry, with herself and the king and the queen and her captain … angry with everyone, really, angry at the whole world and the workings of her life.

"It would seem that you are a remarkable sort of person, Karigan Galadheon, and important in ways that I did not anticipate. We would be honored if you would travel with us to Eletia, where our healer will train you to wield the gift you've been given."

"You want me to go with you? To Eletia?"

It was unheard of. Humans were not allowed to travel to the Eletian homeland, wherever it existed, hidden and protected. The only time Karigan had been there was to deliver the Sleepers, and even then, it had been so brief that she hardly remembered it.

The invitation was clearly unexpected to more than just Karigan.

"That's a serious offer you make, Prince Jametari." The king said it pleasantly enough.

"I have considered it at length. Tierasin will not travel beyond Eletia's borders, and even if she would … staying here would be ill advised, I think." He said the last bit to Karigan alone.

"Ill advised?" Captain Mapstone repeated. "But this is her home. Her friends are here, her duties …"

"Can we not talk about me like I'm not in the room again?" Karigan cut in sharply. She'd had her fill of that the last time they'd all been in a room together.

"That's not what I intended," the captain replied.

"Your reasons are good ones, Captain," the prince said. "And all the more reason she must go. What would happen if you stayed, Karigan?" The use of her first name, and only her first name, was odd coming from someone so formal. He didn't give her a chance to answer before he cast his gaze over the others. "You would demand something that she'd be required to give, either by virtue of her character or your station."

"We'd give her whatever time she needed," Estora insisted. "To heal and learn whatever was necessary."

But Karigan knew that wasn't true, and from their silence she thought the others knew as well.

"Would you?" the prince challenged. "Or would you order her to carry your messages and fight your battles, as she has sworn to do? Even injured and sick, I have seen how unfailingly loyal she is to each of you, to come when you call no matter what it costs her. Can you have failed to see this, you who claim to have only her well-being at heart? Or are you simply so inured to it that you have ceased to appreciate it?"

It was the most accusatory thing that Prince Jametari had ever said, and Karigan was stunned to hear it. She had no idea how to respond, or if she was expected to do so at all.

"I hope you are not inferring, Your Highness, that we are ignorant of Karigan's sacrifices." Zachary's tone was dark with warning.

"I infer nothing, Your Majesty. I was merely stating facts and addressing an eventuality that everyone in this room knows will come to pass. Rider Galadheon's best chance lies in Eletia, where she will be an honored guest, and at no one's command but her own."

He was right. Karigan knew that he was right, and yet there was a certain unbelievability to it all that made it hard to contemplate. She had traveled long distances before, and been away for long periods of time, but this was Eletia. This was somewhere outside of Sacoridia, where she would not be a Rider or a knight or even a merchant's daughter. She'd just be … Karigan G'ladheon.

Whoever that was.

Karigan was the one to break the silence. "How long? How long would I be gone?"

"I'm afraid it's impossible to say. What Tierasin will need to teach you is … difficult to explain, and more difficult to learn. I cannot guess at your chances of success, though I believe that if the Lady of Light blessed you with such a gift then she must have thought you worthy of it. Though I should warn you, time moves differently in Eletia."

"Differently?" Karigan repeated.

"Slower." No other explanation was forthcoming.

Karigan said nothing. She shifted more of her weight off of her bad leg, which was holding up admirably but still gave off an intermittent twinge to let her know that it wasn't happy with standing so long.

Her options weren't options at all, really. Stay and do her duty until Laurelyn's ironically named Gift killed her or go to Eletia and try to learn to live with it – and possibly die anyway.

"You don't need to decide now, Rider," the king had started.

Stay, and watch Estora's belly grow large with Zachary's child.

Maybe the gods had finally taken pity on her and given her a reprieve she had not thought to look for.

"I'll go."

She'd known that she would go almost from the moment it had been suggested. She was as determined now that she couldn't stay as she had been when she'd first heard of the royal baby, and now that she'd acknowledged how angry she was … she had to learn to be indifferent, and she'd never manage that here.

Karigan did not look at her monarchs, or her captain. They could not keep her here – knew that they wouldn't try, not when it was her life on the line – and the king himself had said that the decision was hers.

"Thank you for extending the offer. I'm honored."

"As we will be, Galadheon, to have you with us."

Prince Jametari rose without any verbal acknowledgement that the meeting was over. It might have been seen as an insult at another time, but the king did not say a word as the Prince, and Somial with him, stepped around the table. Karigan bowed slightly at the waist as he approached. The Prince angled himself toward her and stopped just in front of her and to the side, so that she had to turn her head to look at him.

"You may dispense with those formalities now. While I appreciate and acknowledge the respect you offer, I am neither your monarch nor your commander. We are simply …" he said a word in the Eletian tongue that Karigan did not recognize. He seemed to search for its equivalent in the common tongue. "I believe the word you use is 'us'. We are simply us."

Somial stepped forward and whispered something in his monarch's ear.

"Somial tells me that it may also mean friend, though it feels too simple to be an accurate translation."

Of all of the things that had happened today, having the Eletian Prince claim that they were friends was definitely at the top of the "surreal" list.

"Thank you." It was the only thing she could think to say. Another thought occurred to her then. "When do we leave?"

Prince Jametari thought for a moment. "Two days hence."

She was shocked at the suddenness of it. Two days was hardly enough time to get her affairs in order, which she absolutely had to do if she was going away for an unknown amount of time. There were letters to write and …

And what? Packing would take her but a minute and probably encompass the entirety of her wardrobe. She could write to her family and Estral in an hour at the most, and most of her other affairs had been put in place before the venture to Blackveil.

"I'll be ready."

This was clearly a day, and a week, for surprises.

"It seems sudden, perhaps," Jametari said, "but I think Eletia will be good for you, and I have been too long away from my people. It is time for healing; you have carried those wounds too long, I think."

Karigan furrowed her brow. "They are mostly healed, Your Highness."

"If we are to dispense with formalities, you must call me Jametari. Or Etari, as Grae once did. And I do not speak of those wounds; I speak of these." He touched one long, careful finger to her chest just at the level of her heart. "They are more dangerous, for how easily they hide."

Karigan didn't mean to, but her eyes shot straight up and locked onto Zachary's. His expression told her that he'd heard everything.