A/N: Okay, you have no idea how intensely I want NS right now. The sad thing is, I just saw an NV vid the other day and it makes me miss them so much and want them all over again! *cries* What also occurred to me is that in the two separate stories I'm writing right now…I have NV in one and NS in the other. XD I just find that kind of humorous. On with the story! Make sure to review! ;p


Ch. 12—Bold Move

Her eyes narrowed, as she forcefully stuffed the spoonfuls of yogurt down her throat. How could she have been so stupid? Whether it had only been considered from her insult to Blair the day before, or whether Chuck had been playing her all along, Blair didn't know and for the first time in over a month Serena was outwardly worried about her.

Luckily, her minions were clueless, all eating their yogurt neutrally around her, skimming the courtyard for any hot guys, any potential prospects. Nate was the least of her worries. That letter had been swimming in her head for quite some time now, but the idea of Blair thinking she had finally gotten through to Chuck, when he was actually using her for her own personal goals—or perhaps just to insult and demean her—sent her stomach into a whirling vortex of pain and anguish. How could he do this to her?

There they sat, him sitting on a table and her sitting on top of him, her legs swung to the side. She was giggly and they looked absolutely adorable. He would kiss her neck and she would stop him from going much farther, but their eyes danced when they looked at each other, and when she finally started talking again, going on and on about whatever was actually going on in Blair Waldorf's life right now…he would look at her in complete adoration. It looked so genuine, and they were beautiful. She couldn't believe he was using her.

Serena scoffed, shaking her head at the two.

"What?" Penelope asked, intrigued after nearly ten minutes of silence.

"Them," Serena pointed in Chuck and Blair's general direction.

The brunette raised an eyebrow. "Are we destroying Chuck now too?" A small smirk appeared on her face. Serena opened her mouth to say something, but found nothing would slip out between her lips. "After all, not only did he defend Blair against you yesterday, but he denied my very cleverly acted out seduction every time I offered it up to him. That's five times. I mean, I could do it again," she shrugged.

Serena shook her head. "No." Penelope looked at her questioningly.

"I could try again," she offered, smirking. "If he's siding with Blair—"

"He's not!" she snapped, and Penelope quieted herself, looking inquisitively at her queen. Serena sighed, trying her very best to maintain face. "He told me last night…" she gulped, "that he's using her."

Penelope's eyes lit up. "Should we aid him in this malicious act?"

"No," she cleared her throat, forcing her queenly attitude back into place. "He's Chuck Bass," she looked mournfully at him across the way, whilst Blair turned away for a moment. Their eyes met. "He doesn't need our help."

Her eyes flicked away, and she shook her head. Gaining and maintaining queen status was exhausting. Getting drunk every night was not going to encourage the situation. The mean girls didn't want Blair back and so they continued to find her drinking a nonexistent issue, but soon they would, and Serena almost yearned for that day. She missed Blair. And being mean, being queen, was not how she was built. It was a miracle she had lasted this long.

Blair was the bitch with a heart. Serena was just…a heart—a bubbly, blonde bliss. Her queen mask was faltering more by the day. Even the day before when she was insulting Blair, she was losing ground, stuttering far too easily. Sure, Blair had done it too. But she was in a far lesser state, and now that Serena knew Chuck was technically against her too. It only made matters worse. They all held up their masks, all had different intentions, agendas and true feelings were hidden. Besides wanting this all erased and being on good terms with Blair again…Serena didn't know what she wanted or how she had become this. She just wanted out.

"Serena."

A light out of her dark thoughts. Her face rose to see Nate Archibald standing before her.

"Nate," she straightened herself. He nodded. "What is it?" she asked. He looked to the girls around her and motioned with his eyes that Serena make them leave. She only blinked. This was school. This wasn't home. Regardless of what she wanted it to be. She couldn't let Penelope be queen…that would be…chaos.

He sighed, pulling a letter from out of his bag. "This is yours," he said, and her eyes widened, recognizing her handwriting instantly. How had he gotten it? "I want to know everything."

Before she could speak, Penelope had snatched the letter out of her hand and was beginning to open it. She panicked, and somehow in the midst of the girls passing the letter amongst themselves, they remembered their place and Serena got hold of the letter again. She stood to her feet and looked only for a moment, stuffing the document into her bag. No one was supposed to know about this. She wrote it and she didn't give—she didn't send it. No one was supposed to know. With one glance to the girls, to Nate, and a glare in Chuck and Blair's direction, she walked away and into the school.

Nate's eyebrows furrowed, trying to come to the conclusion of what had just happened. He had offered up the letter. The minions had stolen it from her after she had taken it from his hands. She had gotten it back, had gotten up and had left for the building behind them. It took them a moment, but the girls all stood to their feet and moved after her not but a few moments following. Nate stood stock still in place, and then turned to Chuck and Blair who were looking at him. They didn't appear to be confused in the least. Maybe it was his imagination, but he swore he saw the hints of a smirk on both of their faces. His forehead creased and he gathered his bag together, tighter, on his shoulder. The two brunettes leaned in to kiss again and Nate walked away.


She giggled, gripping tight to his hand even after they had entered the limo. He didn't mention it, didn't inform her that they weren't in public and so she didn't need to act like she was in love with him. Because that wasn't part of the plan. But God, did he love that she didn't notice her own instinctive actions now. He hadn't brought up when she had kissed him the day before either. He had figured it was part of her meltdown, and he was more than willing to accommodate. He didn't want to think it actually meant something though, except for gratefulness that he had saved her from that painful verbal battle outside the school doors. In truth, she had saved herself because she had found him herself, had consented to her need for him. He couldn't help thinking it meant something, even if he tried to push those thoughts away. It didn't get past him that Blair was more confident in backing up her position as queen than her relationship with him. She always seemed to blunder, to lose her focus, when Serena insisted on his current or soon to be infidelity. It wasn't fair, even if it was an artificial relationship. It didn't feel like that anymore. They were in public so much, it didn't seem like they were restraining themselves in the least. True, they hadn't had sex or done anything so vulgar as to ruin one's reputation in public, but…he had wanted to. God, he had wanted to. An arm wrapped around her waist, fingers intertwined with her own, kisses—sometimes extremely—on her plump ruby lips. He was losing control. He hadn't slept around with other girls, like she had asked, but he hadn't even thought about it either. All he wanted was her, and he could only hope that by the end of this scam she would come to her senses.

"Did you see her today?"

He smirked at how excited she was, clearly thrilled in how they were getting to her. He nodded, deciding not to mention the conversation he had had with the blonde the night before. Serena may have found the sudden relationship between her (ex) best friend and her step brother ironic at best, but old Serena was still in there and she was growing tired of keeping up the act. Knowing that Blair was in danger of getting her heart broken again would be just the key to taking off the mask completely.

"Yes, I did." She leaned in to kiss him and he forced his shock to go unnoticed. She was so in the zone, so peppy and bright. There wasn't even a hint of the broken girl he had seen the day before. "Mmm," he commented, eyeing her in extremely good taste. "We're definitely getting to her," he said, before she could catch on.

She sighed happily and leaned back against the leather seat. "I know…this was such a good idea. We are brilliant." She smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile back. She was so bubbly and so…at ease. Was she drunk? He wondered.

"Yes, we are," he chuckled, taking the risk of bringing her hand up to his lips to press a soft kiss too. He swore he saw her blush.

Blair turned her face away then, looking out the window. She didn't know what had come over her but she felt incredibly blissful. Clearly Serena's claims to still have Nate as a friend had been faulty. Either that or they were fighting, which made the situation even more accessible to control. But she, herself, felt light as a feather. She hadn't felt this happy since that one week of paradise with Chuck before summer the year before. She tried not to think what happened after that, tried also not to remember that they were in a fake relationship that she guessed was going to end pretty soon. Most of the time she succeeded in pushing these thoughts into the back closed up boxes of her mind. But when she was at home and almost asleep, they flooded her mind. It was the reason she cried herself to sleep most nights. She had always had a natural talent for witty comebacks, but the day before had been pathetic. The mere mention of Chuck playing her stabbed her heart worse than a sharp object or a bullet ever could. The way he had comforted her afterwards…and how she had kissed him, she meant it all, and that's what she was afraid of. She was fake before, with him as well, because if she let herself feel anything again then even as queen she would be devastated when he left her. The briefest of true heartwarming moments she had shared with him before the previous week, she had made herself forget. Now she couldn't forget anything, and she didn't want to. It had been over a week since she had been true with him, since they had successfully been together—evil plan in mind or not—and she reveled in it.

She wouldn't cry until those dark thoughts crowded in around her late in the night. Now was pure bliss. She looked back at him and found he was staring at her, and she let herself believe that maybe he was in love with her. That maybe this was her happy ending. She moved across the seat and climbed on top of him, loving the sound of his breath catching in his throat. The windows were tinted and no one could see, but she didn't care. She cupped her hands around his face and brought her lips to his, kissing him desperately.

"Wait, wait, wait," he pulled away but a moment later, breathless.

"What?" she asked, in agony that he had stopped the demanding need from her mouth.

"We're not in public," he said, and she slinked back a little. He was right, she thought. They weren't in public. She saw the almost panic in his eyes though. He wanted her. Right then. Right now. He wasn't just playing around for the sake of her queenship. At least she wouldn't believe it. Not now. Not in this limo. Not with his lips so close.

"Do we have to be?" she asked, and his eyes widened, a million questions racing through his mind. She cocked an eyebrow, waiting for his response but all he could give was a soft, subtle shake of his head. She leaned forward again and captured his lips, a thrill shooting up her spine when he laid his hands on her, grasping at her hips and skimming his hands against the curve of her waist.

She wouldn't tell him again. Not here. Not now. Maybe not ever. But she couldn't pretend anymore. She loved him.


"Dan."

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth, he paced his room.

"Dan," she repeated. But he didn't see her. His eyes were glued to the floor and his mind was racing. So, it was true. Serena had still been in love with Nate when he told her he loved her. He didn't have any other proof other than that letter, but his gut feeling told him he didn't need anything else. It was her handwriting and it was so clearly written to Nate Archibald. The contents spilling from the inside made his stomach turn.

He didn't know why he was letting it bother himself so much. She was his ex-girlfriend. And nothing had happened between her and Nate. She didn't cheat on him. And it was in the past.

"Dan!" He focused in on her face once her stance in front of him forced him to stop moving.

"Vanessa," he panted, though the look on his face was complete confusion that she was in the room to begin with. Even if he had been the one that had called her over.

"You called me," she reminded him. His face eased as the memory came to him.

"Right," he said, relaxing in her soft hold on him. She released her hands from his arms and went back to sit on the bed.

"Then you started to pace." She looked at him in worry. He cracked a grin and began laughing at himself, silencing the noise he created when he turned to look at her again and she was looking quite seriously scared of his reaction. He cleared his throat and walked towards her a bit.

"Serena wrote a love letter to Nate…on the day I told her I loved her last year."

Vanessa's lips parted as she let it all sink in. She wasn't over Nate, and from the mood she had gotten from her best friend, it appeared as though he wasn't over Serena. But it wasn't even about that. It wasn't about how they felt now. It was about what happened then. Vanessa swallowed hard and looked up at Dan, who had surprisingly not returned to his prior activity.

"She's not your girlfriend anymore, Dan," she said quietly, sympathetically.

"I know," he sighed, turning away from her and running a hand through his hair. That fact could not have been clearer to him or anyone else. Vanessa watched him as he moved, ready to take whatever hit he would throw at her. "It just makes me feel uneasy," he said, turning back around. "I mean," he gestured, "you're not over Nate. How does it make you feel? This letter."

She had expected this. "I think it's a little different for me, Dan."

His eyebrows furrowed and his arms folded across his chest. "How so?"

"Well, I wasn't really dating him that long. There were more complications with us—"

"More complications than basically everyone in Serena's family not thinking I was good enough for her?" he raised his eyebrows.

She smiled a bit. "Point taken." Her lips pursed. "But…this whole Nate & Serena scandal, or whatever you want to call it, never really involved me. I dated him briefly afterwards and then not for the whole summer. If they had really wanted to be together, they could have. He could have not tracked me down at all. But Serena was mourning over you, and when summer ended…she was trying to get back with you."

He sighed again, nodding. "Yeah…it doesn't make sense to me either."

"Well then, maybe it's false," she suggested.

"It's not false," he shook his head, beginning to pace again. "It's in Serena's handwriting…I saw it myself…"

"Yeah, about that," she said, after having lain down on his bed, "do you usually go snooping through Jenny's things?"

He turned away, pacing the opposite direction, and tossed his arm in the air to dismiss the matter. "Dan," she said, seriously. "I know younger siblings can eaves drop, as suggested from the Chuck, Blair and Nate scandal that you were so generous to grant me details of last year," she cleared her throat, and he winced, feeling a little bad for having brought her into that. No wonder she was hesitant to look at Nate with an ounce of respect when they first met.

"I'm sorry about bringing you into that, V."

"I'm your best friend. It was your duty," she beamed proudly for him, and then giggled, trying to lighten the mood. He let a smile slip out but then straightened back into his serious demeanor.

"No…"

She frowned.

"I don't usually go snooping through her things. In fact, I never do. But I made the exception because…"

"…you were suspicious," she concluded. His eyes shifted to hers, and he nodded.

"And I was right. She had been lying to me."

Vanessa's lips pursed. "That still didn't make it right." He sighed, and came to sit down beside her since she had sat up from the last few statements made. He rubbed at his neck roughly.

"What would you do?" he asked, turning to her. She gaped a little.

"Me?"

He waited, not moving an inch except to blink when her silence went on for more than what was expected. She shook her head and found herself staring across at the floor like she had seen him do.

"I'd go to a movie."

His eyebrows furrowed. "What?" She couldn't be serious.

She turned her gaze back to his frustrated, pained eyes. "A movie," she repeated, then stood to her feet and held out her hand. He looked at it skeptically. "Come on, Dan Humphrey. I'm not over Nate, and you're not over Serena. This letter is suspicious and troubling and I don't blame you for being upset, but you've been thinking about it nonstop since you first discovered it and you need something to take your mind off it for a good hour and a half at least." She was smiling now and he couldn't help but to follow her lead and slip one through as well. He took the hand she offered and followed her out of the room.

"Alright, Abrams, which movie are we going to see tonight?" he asked, his spirits lifting already.

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

He scoffed.

"After all," she turned back at him for an instant, smiling wildly, "I did suggest it."


A soft knock on the door and his eyes flicked up to hers.

"Serena," his lips parted. Shock was heard in his voice, but he knew she would come. She had texted him that she was coming. And though she wanted to meet at the bar she had frequently spent her nights at, he told her it was better if the location was somewhere else. He didn't want her to be reminded of how down the drain her life had gone. And he wanted her to know that he was there for her, as a friend if nothing else.

So, they met at the library. In a closed study room. The blinds could be shut, and the walls were sound proof. Here they could talk and not be interrupted. The room was guaranteed for an hour solid and there were three other rooms available. Besides the fact that there had to be less than twenty people including the librarians inside the building.

"Come in," he inclined his head when she didn't move past the doorway. Finally she bent her head a bit and closed the door behind her, locking it before taking the seat across from him.

"Thanks for meeting with me," she said weakly. His sympathetic eyes searched for something, some hidden emotion, resting on her face.

"Of course."

She forced a smile and finally looked up at him. "I'm not used to this," she said, "Us," she gestured between them. "It hasn't been us for awhile. I've missed it."

Silence.

Nate stood during the five minutes of quiet that passed between them, and pulled down the blinds, darkening the room. He flipped the light switch and walked back around to his seat, sliding into the table between them. A letter rested on his side.

His eyes flashed to hers but she said nothing, only cleared her throat when the continued silence became unbearable for her. "Nate," she forced out. "I wrote this."

His eyes were pinned to the letter. "To Nate from Serena," it said.

"Open it," she whispered. "Read it."

He gulped, watching as her eyes lifted to his and tried hard to keep the tear drops inside. She was begging him to read it, but he wanted to know why.

"I wrote it the night I came and talked to you…" her eyes closed and she cursed herself for letting three tears drip down her face. Nate parted his lips, feeling agony at those tears dripping down her face. She was going through so much and he…was he part of it?

"Then, I reconsidered," she cleared her throat. "Blair had almost left for France and Dan had told me he loved me."

Nate never moved his eyes from her. His hand reached across the table and took one of hers in its embrace. She let him and she pulled it tighter. He was her lifeline. He was all she had, and she hoped this whole situation wouldn't change that. She didn't want it to change that.

"I loved him," she nodded softly. "I just…couldn't tell him. So many guys came into my life, claiming to love my mother, and to love Eric and me," she sighed, "I just couldn't trust that word. Love."

He continued to watch her, his fingers sliding gently across her perfect skin.

"At the end of the day though, I knew I could trust it. Because it was genuine and it was real and I took a risk. I trusted it." Her eyes looked up to his again. They had drifted to the table, to their encased hands. "But that wasn't the only reason I couldn't tell him I loved him at first."

She paused, and he tightened his hold further on her fingers, but now she pulled away. She hadn't wanted to share this. She had wanted to forget. With Dan it was easy to forget, because she had fallen in love with him. But not they were over…for good, and as much as she was mourning that, her resistance to the memory was failing her. Blair wasn't there to distract her either. Blair wasn't there period, and it made it all the more harder.

"Read it, Nate," she pushed the letter closer to him again, and he reluctantly looked back to the letter. "I need this to be over with," she gulped, leaning back in her chair.

He breathed uneasily, and took the letter in one of his hands. In his other hand he stole back her run away fingers and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. She hadn't expected it and couldn't pull her hand away in time. She only gulped, trying to ignore the shiver that ran up her spine. And trying to ignore the empty cold that enveloped her when he let go and held the letter in both hands.

'Dear Nate…

Today Dan told me he loves me. I couldn't respond and with everything that's going on, I didn't know why I couldn't respond. Dan is wonderful. He's everything I could ever ask for, and I know you probably don't want to be hearing this, but I love him. I've come to the conclusion that the reason I couldn't say it was because my mom has had too many husbands and lovers and love just doesn't seem to have a meaning anymore. But there's another reason and I haven't let myself admit it, not even to myself. But a love confession like the one he gave me does mean a lot, and I think it's worth taking a chance. But I haven't forgotten you. I haven't forgotten what happened between us, and as much as I love Blair…I wouldn't take it back and it makes me feel so guilty, because I love you, and that's what I was trying to tell you earlier. I did come back for you. I just didn't want to be forbidden. I love Blair. We're sisters, and sisters come first. Best friends come first. And I had to make things right with her. But I did come back for you too. I just wouldn't let myself believe it, not until today. I just thought you should know.

-Serena

Nate looked up at her. She was still as a stone, and from the slight shake he saw in her fingertips, he knew she was fearing his reaction.

"What good would this have done me?"

She looked up at him. "What?"

"You told me you loved me in this letter. But then you went back to Dan, and essentially recommitted yourself to him."

"I didn't stop being committed to him," she insisted.

He scoffed. "My point is, you would have tormented me with this confession without even giving me the opportunity to take advantage of it? To…have you?"

Her eyes closed. "You were with Blair."

"We had broken up!" he said, frustrated by the age-old fight.

"But that wasn't a justified reason then! Don't you remember? You nearly punched Chuck in the face over the fact! You were broken up and it hadn't mattered, because she was Blair…and you always come back to her."

"No," he denied, "Blair and I are expected, and maybe once upon a time I loved her, but any and every girl I fall for only happen because I see part of you in them. I was falling back for Blair because Chuck erased her insecurities and made her feel and act free and happy and never with a frown on her face. Just like you."

He stood to his feet and headed for the door, dropping the letter in front of her on the table. "If you had told me this…then, I would have gone after you."


A/N: Review! Pretty, pretty please!! *puppy dog eyes*